would u entertain a guy u didn't like just b/c u liked the attention?

*ElleB

*ElleB

New Member
For instance, talk to him on the phone, text, even dates--knowing he liked you, and u don't like him, just because you like the attention he's giving you. Or is this a no-no?
 
No.He may take the phone calls and dates as an indication that you like him as well.It is not good to toy with anyone's feelings.You wouldn't want anyone to do it to you.You should let him know how you really feel.
 
GeorgiaCutie said:
No.He may take the phone calls and dates as an indication that you like him as well.It is not good to toy with anyone's feelings.You wouldn't want anyone to do it to you.You should let him know how you really feel.
Click to expand...

Oh no, I'm def not doing this. :nono: I promise! A friend of mine is and I told her don't waste her time and she seemed like she got defensive and was like " i just like the attention." :perplexed I was like "okay"
 
Don't relationship self-help books say to keep admirers around? They help you seem more desirable. In fact, everyone of my friends has one. They disguise them as "friends" :giggle:

As for myself, I automatically show no attention to people I'm not interested in. I can't help it.
 
imready4change said:
Don't relationship self-help books say to keep admirers around? They help you seem more desirable. In fact, everyone of my friends has one. They disguise them as "friends" :giggle:

As for myself, I automatically show no attention to people I'm not interested in. I can't help it.
Click to expand...

I'm like that too but some people don't know how to take the hint and keep trying to get me. (referring to your last comment)
 
I've done it to a guy that did me wrong in the past. He cheated on me after dating for 3 months, I dumped him, he founded me a year and a half later and asked to start a relationship again. I said no, his voice wavered as if he was crying. I semi-enjoyed his pain b/c of how carelessly he let me go. He's a good kid and we've had good convos but he has always wanted more when I was never interested. He was also crude in his sex talk and that was unattractive to me.
 
No I would not because that is playing with emotions and I would not want someone to do that to me. That to me is equivalent to a guy stringing a female along. Because although the girl may not have any intention on being with the guy, the guy think he has a chance.
 
*ElleB said:
For instance, talk to him on the phone, text, even dates--knowing he liked you, and u don't like him, just because you like the attention he's giving you. Or is this a no-no?
Click to expand...

Yes. I have done this and I always make sure my lack of interest in the guy is known upfront. Sometimes even guys just want someone to hangout with without the pressure of a real relationship forming and undue expectations. :)
 
it's dangerous because you can actually catch feelings for the person you are so unattracted to.
 
I do and by entertain I mean answer phone calls and event invites. They know what's up and everything is cool. :)

You can like someone without being agonizingly in love with them. My male company understands the difference and behaves accordingly.
 
I've kind of done this. I dated a guy for many months knowing we had no future. But he knew this too, so I don't think there was any harm done. He was fun to talk to, hang out with, etc...
 
I think sometimes there is a danger in doing so, even if the person knows you're not interested in them. They might keep hanging on with the hope that one day you'll turn around. I personally don't try to engage the person too much as a fair of leading them on (I wouldn't want some one doing the same to me). I have a friend who does this, but then acts all innocent when situations arise. To each their own I guess.
 
No :ohwell:. Ultimately, he still has feelings and doesn't derserve to be lead on just because it makes me feel better about myself. That's very selfish, imo. I also believe that you reap what you sow.

Mutually exploitative relationships where both parties know the full deal are different. But allowing someone to chase you and take you out when you secretly know there is no hope in heck for him is deceptive, imo.
 
Nope. I'm secure with myself and dont need anyone's attention to make me feel good about myself. Im content just being alone :)
 
Well I'll be the bad one!!

I've done it before...it wasn't just for attention, but it was for dinner and gifts too!

Just kidding...but I have lead a man on...and I lead him on for 4 years!
Not continuous...but over the course of 4 years! I would talk to him (like someone else said) between prospects or when I was bored.

I was TOTALLY wrong, I made him think we were something only to drop him...when I got "tired" of him....not call for 5 or 6 months at a time...dismiss his calls...and then if I called him out of the blue, he would always welcome me back with open arms! Which would only perpetuate my negative actions/feelings toward him.

Sometimes I would call him...just to see if he would talk to me. I would play games like "What's up stranger?" Pretending he was the one not calling me. (I would change my number sometimes and say this!):nono::nono:

He ALWAYS welcomed me back! I am NOT bragging...I am very ashamed of my behavior and in somewhat of a defense I was young...like 18.

Once I matured and realized that this was unacceptable to treat a person like this, I let him know, that I wasn't interested. I've never had someone treat me like that...but I have definitely been dogged before!!

The weird / sad thing is...I saw him at a restaurant recently...and we spoke. No mixed messages on my end..hadn't talked to him in 5 years...but he was like "Hey, I still have my same number...maybe I can take you out. Call me..please! I miss you." I "politely" declined....but

I felt like a box of cornflakes. Then I found out through a friend of a friend that he was going to try and play me...because of what I did to him.:ohwell::ohwell:

LOL...you live and you learn!!
 
I've tried but it's hard. My lack of interest comes off too clearly in my voice and manner, I'd just wind up talking all flat and monotone looking bored. It's not a nice thing to do to a person.

I do have a friend that has like 50-11 dudes on reserve, just for talking, texting, and occasionally going out, none of which she has any serious interest in.
 
Cutiepie--You bad girl you!! lol, though he's pretty pathetic to still be trying to talk to you after all that!
 
I am soo guilty!!! But I keeps it honest with them... and tell them I am just using them for the free dinner or movie... I will never date them, but they keep doing it. I know its called mixed signals, but listen to my mouth haha. So bad, I know... But I never turn down a date I like the free food and or dinner.... or w/e else. This is so bad... shouldn't play with peoples emotions b/c u never know who is crazy.
 
I guess i'm kind of doing this but its not for attention. This guy and I dated on and off in high school and then a couple of years ago we hooked up again. I broke up with him shortly after because i realized I am not attracted to him and I did not want to string him along. I try to make it clear that I dont want to be with him but he keeps trying. I enjoy his friendship and would love to remain friends but he always tries to take it further. I have to watch every little thing i say and do around him because he will always take it the wrong way and think we are getting back together. He recently asked to take me on vacation (No i'm not going). I've been going through this with him for 10 years. Do I just cut off all ties- no friendship or anything, or should I keep doing what i'm doing.
 
No, I would never entertain a guy because he liked me. If I don't like someone i don't want to lead them on and make them think that they are getting somewhere when the reality is just the opposite.:nono:
 
Duchesse said:
Cutiepie--You bad girl you!! lol, though he's pretty pathetic to still be trying to talk to you after all that!
Click to expand...

I know Duchess....I was wrong...and I won't do it again..but I know if I call him right now...and say 'I'm sorry or it wasn't like that"...he'll melt like butter. He claims he was going to play me...I'll have to see it to believe it!
Why is it that the men that I want to melt won't...but the ones I don't want...do? LOL That's why I choose to be single now!!!!


cinnamin316 said:
I guess i'm kind of doing this but its not for attention. This guy and I dated on and off in high school and then a couple of years ago we hooked up again. I broke up with him shortly after because i realized I am not attracted to him and I did not want to string him along. I try to make it clear that I dont want to be with him but he keeps trying. I enjoy his friendship and would love to remain friends but he always tries to take it further. I have to watch every little thing i say and do around him because he will always take it the wrong way and think we are getting back together. He recently asked to take me on vacation (No i'm not going). I've been going through this with him for 10 years. Do I just cut off all ties- no friendship or anything, or should I keep doing what i'm doing.
Click to expand...

In my experience totally cutting them off is the only way. I think any interaction gives them hope. I would slowly but surely pull away.
It's really better for everyone involved!
 
Sadly, yes Ive done it. It can end up pretty sour or even dangerously bad though I would never recommend it. Also, I think it wreaks of a sort of spite and/or insecurity, definitely not a good thing
 
No, I wouldn't spend time with a guy I didn't like :nono:

However, I don't see a problem with spending time with men that I like (even though I'm not in love) just for fun. As long as everything is clear between us...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Lucia
  • Poll Poll
Would U date a guy, just cause he's hott?
2
Replies
52
Views
1K
C(squared)
C(squared)
Latomian
WHY did he CHANGE???
2
Replies
40
Views
1K
lesedi
lesedi
S
Is It Rude Not Answer Phone Calls For Him? How Would U Go About It(
Replies
6
Views
257
SweetNic_JA
SweetNic_JA
Hairsnob
Why Don't Men Just LISTEN!! Uggh! Dating Sucks!!
Replies
22
Views
670
mscurly
mscurly
M
Advice Please! How to turn down a guy u might want to see again
Replies
14
Views
337
ms.mimi
ms.mimi
Back
Top