Would it be perhaps a bit weird if I contacted a guy through facebook

[Harina]

that I met last summer and ask why he never called me? Would that be strange? I mean, I've given numbers to guys and they didn't call me. No big deal, but this guy, it's really been irking me. Immediately, after the no-call, I was really, genuinely upset. Then that calmed down. But every once in a while, it'll pop up in my head again and I'm like why didn't this guy call me. And, lately I've seen him on the news twice because he was in Haiti during the earthquake and he's getting interviewed.

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm jumping on top of his car while he's driving off. There was never anything more between us than a summer's night: no sex, just fantastic conversation so I'm not expecting him to profess his undying love to me. I just need to know why. I don't want to sound like I'm attacking him if I send an email. but I just wanna get a frank response from him. And I wouldn't do it anytime soon, because that would be a bit insensitive since I'm sure he's shaken from the quake. See that's not too weird, is it?

 

[JustKiya]

Girl, let it go. Let. It. Go. Strange, and a lil creepy, to be honest.

 

[Amcd]

It is a little weird. If you want to friend him fine, but leave the past alone.

 

[Keen]

If you dont' want him to profess his undying love for you, what do you want from him then?

 

[chocolat79]

that I met last summer and ask why he never called me? YES
Would that be strange? and YES

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm jumping on top of his car while he's driving off. There was never anything more between us than a summer's night: no sex, just fantastic conversation so I'm not expecting him to profess his undying love to me. I just need to know why. I don't want to sound like I'm attacking him if I send an email. but I just wanna get a frank response from him.

You won't get a frank response, IF you get one at all...and it will seem like you want something from him since he's been on TV. I agree with Just Kiya...LET.IT.GO. As I read somewhere, men don't need a reason NOT to call, they need a reason TO call...does it make sense to me? Nope, but it is what it is...don't do it!

 

[Nameless]

Just let it go. Even if it hurts/annoys you, it's best to just talk to a girlfriend about it instead of letting him know IMO

 

[Harina]

Girl, let it go. Let. It. Go. Strange, and a lil creepy, to be honest.

I know, JustKiya, it's strange and not even a lil, but alota creepy. I guess that makes me strange and creepy. I know I should let it go, but something is stopping me from doing so.

It is a little weird. If you want to friend him fine, but leave the past alone.

I wouldn't want to friend him without sending him a message first though, which of course would bring up the past.

If you dont' want him to profess his undying love for you, what do you want from him then?

I just want to know why he never called me. I guess, to be honest, part of me wants us to be friends as well. We had so much random stuff in common. And I just think, it's really bizarre that he never called me. I know that sounds crazy, but I just want to know why. I've had a few too many times where friends had strange things happen to them when I thought they were just being rude and not calling. One got mugged. The other left her phone in a restaurant. I'm not a person who goes with my gut often. I definitely like to weigh the pros and cons, look at things from different angles, but when I do go with the gut, it has always been the best choice. Something, I don't know what, is compelling me to want to contact this guy.

 

[Nyssa28]

I'd think a guy was stalker material if he found me on fb when I CLEARLY wasn't interested.

 

[Bunny77]

I just want to know why he never called me.

Not trying to be rude, but the reason he never called you is because he didn't want to talk to you.

When someone put it to me that way (not the man himself, but a wise older woman), it was like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders.

It's really that simple. We need to stop focusing on people who aren't interested in us. If he wanted to talk to you, he would have called. He didn't want to talk to you, and that's why he didn't call. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[Keen]

He probably had a girlfriend (or wife).

 

[Nameless]

I just want to know why he never called me. I guess, to be honest, part of me wants us to be friends as well. We had so much random stuff in common. And I just think, it's really bizarre that he never called me. I know that sounds crazy, but I just want to know why.

Could it be bothering you because in a way you felt rejected because you made a connection with this person. I ask this because you said it happened last summer and you just spent a night talking. I could be wrong but I think that you may want to contact him so you can get closure. If you do contact him and ask him why he didn't contact you over a year ago after talking for just one night, he may think you're a weirdo (sorry to say it like that but a lot of men do think like that).
There's a reason why he didn't call and if you contact him, you may get a horrible response and may end up feeling 1000 times worse than you feel now.

Just leave it and try and get over it.

 

[princessnad]

Lol, I was trying to come up with a suggestion of how you could message him and not seem creepy while still asking for a frank response, but I kept deleting my post because it is borderline impossible.

That should be your answer. Let it go... unless you don't mind sounding a bit creepy...

 

[TayMac]

Let it go. If a guy did that to me..I wouldn't even respond and I'd put them in the potential stalker category lol.

 

[Harina]

I see the general consensus is don't do it. I'm not going to lie it's still going to be in the back of my mind for awhile.

 

[Bunny77]

The only other thing that I will say is that I think that we as women have a not-so-great habit of reading more into a conversation than we need to.

I've had that type of experience where I've had a wonderful evening with a man. Not a sexual one, but great conversation, deep discussion, a little flirtation, clear attraction... and then nothing after that.

So while you or I might have left that encounter going, "WOW," he might have thought, "Well, she was nice and fun to talk to. Let me go call my girlfriend right now."

Or...

"Now that's a really nice, cute and sweet woman. If I felt like being in a relationship right now, she's the type of woman I'd go for."


We assume too much. We think that because a man connects with us on more than a surface level, that something is "there." Many times, he's not even seeing this "something" that we just know exists.

If more is meant to be from one night, you will know immediately. It won't take a week, let alone a year, for him to make it clear that you BOTH experienced something, and not just you.

 

[ThickHair]

Up in through here young lady, he has more pressing issues to tend too.

HELLO (in my best Wendy Williams voice) DEATH, DESTRUCTION, MAYHEM

 

[MuseofTroy]

that I met last summer and ask why he never called me? Would that be strange? I mean, I've given numbers to guys and they didn't call me. No big deal, but this guy, it's really been irking me. Immediately, after the no-call, I was really, genuinely upset. Then that calmed down. But every once in a while, it'll pop up in my head again and I'm like why didn't this guy call me. And, lately I've seen him on the news twice because he was in Haiti during the earthquake and he's getting interviewed.

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm jumping on top of his car while he's driving off. There was never anything more between us than a summer's night: no sex, just fantastic conversation so I'm not expecting him to profess his undying love to me. I just need to know why. I don't want to sound like I'm attacking him if I send an email. but I just wanna get a frank response from him. And I wouldn't do it anytime soon, because that would be a bit insensitive since I'm sure he's shaken from the quake. See that's not too weird, is it?

He's not into you. Leave it alone. He doesn't owe you an explanation for not calling you since you guys weren’t in a relationship. Contacting him with the purposes your described is very creepy and socially immature.

 

[kismettt]

think about it from the other side, would you want a guy who you have not made an effort to contact sending you a FB message asking why you never called?

i would be VERY put off & be like because i don't like you

 

[MuseofTroy]

think about it from the other side, would you want a guy who you have not made an effort to contact sending you a FB message asking why you never called?

i would be VERY put off & be like because i don't like you

A guy actually did to me what the OP described. I was so freaked out that I blocked him on my facebook account.