Women Jealous Over Their Daughters' hair

[Ishtar]

I don't understand it because when I was younger the fact that my hair was llong made my mama very proud. She would always say that my hair was her hair. When she finally gave it over to me, it all broke off. erplexed

Well, I have a friend who has a daughter with 3b hair, never been relaxed. It seems that every time it grows out to shoulder length her mom gets it cut. I was commenting on it the other day telling her how full and long it was getting and the little girl responded that she had to get it cut because it was damaged. I have a trained eye for hair care now and this young girl's hair was just as glossy as can be. Her mom is also planning on getting her a BKT. Her hair really doesn't need one. It has no frizz with a very small amount of product to manage it.

It made me think of mothers who get their hair done every two weeks but have their child's head looking crazy all the time. Even when they go out. It's like they don't care. They may not be jealous but could care less.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Yeah that's pretty ridiculous but I see mamas lookin fly with their kids lookin a mess all the time at the mall. But smh at your friend. Did you ask her what her problem is?

 

[WAVES4DAYS]

Wow!!! How old is her daughter?

 

[toinette]

i never understood that. My mom always wanted me and my brother to look the best and have the best, even when she couldnt afford it. She for sure wasnt gonna be spending on herself and having us looking jacked.

 

[LuvlyRain3]

^^^ I see this all the time. Parents walking around with their hair and nails done, name brand clothes and expensive shoes. While their child is wearing kmart clothes payless sneakers and a raggedy ponytail. Makes me sick. If anything it should be the other way around.

I think some women are jealous of their daughters hair because either they never had hair like that or they used to have hair like that and lost it. I've seen a lot of women get darker fatter and then lose all their hair after birth because of the hormonal crash. In my neighborhood they say that when you have a girl she steals all your beauty. Maybe people believe this and start to feel some type of way toward their daughters.

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[Sianna]

That's very sad, and I can just imagine that she's not the only mother who is like that. When I was growing up, my hair was always shorter than that of my peers and I got teased for it. I NEVER wanted that for my daughter! I had always hoped that if I ever had a daughter, she would have a nice length of thick healthy hair.

Now that I actually do have a daughter, I am very pleased at the fact that not only is her hair thick and healthy, but it's fairly long as well, easily stretching to the middle of her lil' back.

I couldn't bear putting a pair of scissors to her head!

 

[LoveLongLocks]

Some ppl may not know how to care for textures not their own. My mum' had hair way past her butt, but had no idea on how to make my hair look its best. It was long but always looking dry. She had no idea that I did not have 4 type hair. ???? puzzling considering she was a beautitian.

 

[Barbara]

I'm glad my mother wasn't that way with us.

 

[yaya24]

I don't know about jealous. She just sounds clueless about her daughters hair.

 

[iri9109]

^^^ I see this all the time. Parents walking around with their hair and nails done, name brand clothes and expensive shoes. While their child is wearing kmart clothes payless sneakers and a raggedy ponytail. Makes me sick. If anything it should be the other way around.
i hate that!!! the babies be all raggedy and snot nosed in pissy diapers but mama make sure she lookin right (even if it means not payin some bills)...and i used to think it was just ppl my age, but no...grown women who should know better do it too smh...thats why i dont want any kids until im financially stable & married


I think some women are jealous of their daughters hair because either they never had hair like that or they used to have hair like that and lost it. I've seen a lot of women get darker fatter and then lose all their hair after birth because of the hormonal crash. In my neighborhood they say that when you have a girl she steals all your beauty. Maybe people believe this and start to feel some type of way toward their daughters.
good point

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Some ppl may not know how to care for textures not their own. My mum' had hair way past her butt, but had no idea on how to make my hair look its best. It was long but always looking dry. She had no idea that I did not have 4 type hair. ???? puzzling considering she was a beautitian.

that was my 1st thought...maybe she doesnt know how to do 3b hair, especially long so she just keeps it short...but then why would she tell the girl it was damaged? unless thats just what she told the girl so that it wouldnt seem like she was cutting it for no reason or because she didnt know what she was doing

 

[Vashti]

Yeah that's what I was thinking too. maybe when it gets long she feels overwhelmed by it. I think she should make a better effort to find out how to care for it but anyways, she's the mother, not me.

 

[kbragg]

I can't imagine chopping my babies hair off Granted their hair does not always look put together (I keep my hair braided rocking some crochet braids now, all DIY so that's the ONLY reason I look put together) but it is long, healthy and well cared for. Some kids are wild though LOL! DD is in mini twists right now since she's in cross country and I keep DD#2 in 2 braids or twist (one front one in the back) Loose hair = Lion King and tangle city with my babies

I was one of those kids with the well put together mom with hair and nails did while I had ear length broken off relaxed hair that got retouched every 4 weeks. No way was I going to have my kids looking like that. I don't believe in competing with your kids. My dream is my daughters will be better than me in every way

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Can I say how happy I am to have sons?

 

[LuvlyRain3]

I can't imagine chopping my babies hair off Granted their hair does not always look put together (I keep my hair braided rocking some crochet braids now, all DIY so that's the ONLY reason I look put together) but it is long, healthy and well cared for. Some kids are wild though LOL! DD is in mini twists right now since she's in cross country and I keep DD#2 in 2 braids or twist (one front one in the back) Loose hair = Lion King and tangle city with my babies

I was one of those kids with the well put together mom with hair and nails did while I had ear length broken off relaxed hair that got retouched every 4 weeks. No way was I going to have my kids looking like that. I don't believe in competing with your kids. My dream is my daughters will be better than me in every way

Awwww. You sound like a great mom. More parents should be like you. I wish there was a thanks button on this mobile app.


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[AHeadOfCoils]

My daughter's hair is well taken care of. I keep her hair moisturized and protected without extensions. I either keep her hair in cornrows or plaits with loose scrunchies. I spray her hair with a mist every morning. Our nightly routine is for her to get her moisturizer (Qhemet) out of her drawer while I get the JBCO. I massage her edges and parts with the JBCO and then add a moisturizer. I do all of that because my child can't keep a scarf on for nothing and her edges would be the first part to break off from rubbing back and forth. After I'm done with her hair she holds the items I need for my night time moisture while I do my hair. She's such a mommy's girl and I would never let her go out looking a tacky mess. No way!

 

[miss stress]

Not gonna lie, I suck at doing my daughters hair, so around the age of 2 I would take her every 2 weeks to get her hair braided in cornrows, now that shes 4 she sits and gets singles or kinky twits with extention hair and she stays fly! And I love it! I get her hair done and have to skip mine many times and thats the way it should b. theres really no excuse for your kids to look crazy even whn u dont know how to do better, Im sure theres someone who does and u need to find that person.

 

[Janet']

How sad...

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

ooh i'm glad my mama didn't pay me to the left like that. i always was put together, while she sometimes wasn't. ♥

 

[ajoke]

Some people are strange. A Russian girl asked me a year ago if I was jealous of my daughter's hair, because my daughter is biracial and has very loose curls. I just looked at her like she was nuts. How can I possibly be jealous of a baby that came out of my body? She's the main reason I got into the whole healthy hair world. She's 21 months old now, I have a regimen down for her, and her hair is now waist length. You should see how excited I get every week when I see how much her hair has grown, and how I painstakingly try to get every tangle out so I don't have to cut it. I had to laugh one day when I went to her kindergarten, and saw the little Caucasian girls pin straight hair in ribbons with styles like I usually do on my daughters head.

 

[abcd09]

Some people are strange. A Russian girl asked me a year ago if I was jealous of my daughter's hair, because my daughter is biracial and has very loose curls. I just looked at her like she was nuts. How can I possibly be jealous of a baby that came out of my body? She's the main reason I got into the whole healthy hair world. She's 21 months old now, I have a regimen down for her, and her hair is now waist length. You should see how excited I get every week when I see how much her hair has grown, and how I painstakingly try to get every tangle out so I don't have to cut it. I had to laugh one day when I went to her kindergarten, and saw the little Caucasian girls pin straight hair in ribbons with styles like I usually do on my daughters head.

I wonder if she's the type that will be jealous of her daughter if she is prettier than her? Sounds somewhat like transference onto you, like she has a jealousy gene in her that she's trying to make sure everyone has so she won't feel bad.

I hope this little girl the OP was talking about doesn't grow up thinking something is wrong with her. I think it's possible that her mom doesn't know how to treat her hair. I'm sure my mom didn't really know about moisturizing, trims, and not pulling hair tight, but she tried at least. She meant well. And she was never a jealous women; she was always so proud and loving. I feel weird for kids with parents who try to compete with them. Parents shouldn't do that to their kids. It puts them in a strange position and it's sad.

 

[diadall]

I don't know about jealousy but I know some women do with their daughters hair what they wish they could do with their own and that is not always healthy.

 

[Ishtar]

Wow!!! How old is her daughter?

She's eight. Her mom's hair is thinning due to weaves or maybe it's hereditary. IDK. Like I said it might not be jealousy but I specifically remember her asking whether she should relax her daughter's hair when she was 4. Her hair then was as gorgeous as it is now.

I do think she just doesn't want to take the time to do it. But when she gets her hair done she's in the salon for 4 hours.

 

[Amoreofcurls]

I know a girl who mother used to threaten to cut her BSL hair, whenever she'd act up, there were times the girl didnt even act up, the mother was just crazy

 

[WAVES4DAYS]

I don't understand it because when I was younger the fact that my hair was llong made my mama very proud. She would always say that my hair was her hair. When she finally gave it over to me, it all broke off. erplexed

Well, I have a friend who has a daughter with 3b hair, never been relaxed. It seems that every time it grows out to shoulder length her mom gets it cut. I was commenting on it the other day telling her how full and long it was getting and the little girl responded that she had to get it cut because it was damaged. I have a trained eye for hair care now and this young girl's hair was just as glossy as can be. Her mom is also planning on getting her a BKT. Her hair really doesn't need one. It has no frizz with a very small amount of product to manage it.

It made me think of mothers who get their hair done every two weeks but have their child's head looking crazy all the time. Even when they go out. It's like they don't care. They may not be jealous but could care less.

She's eight. Her mom's hair is thinning due to weaves or maybe it's hereditary. IDK. Like I said it might not be jealousy but I specifically remember her asking whether she should relax her daughter's hair when she was 4. Her hair then was as gorgeous as it is now.

I do think she just doesn't want to take the time to do it. But when she gets her hair done she's in the salon for 4 hours.

BKT on an eight year old! Those fumes alone will make a grown woman run and cry. I think the mom is just lazy as he!! and don't want to put the time, and effort into her daughter's hair. Sounds like she just want the easy way out. There maybe some envy and jealousy going on there too from what you've described.

 

[PJaye]

There's some sick floating around in the world. A parent jealous of their child? I can't...

 

[doll-baby]

I don't think that my step daughter's mother is jealous of her hair but it does'nt seem like she cares enough about her appearance especially when it comes to her hair. My step daughter started out with bsl shinny healthy 3c hair (age 3-4) and now at age 7 her hair is dull broken off and uneven. The back is about neck length and the sides are collar bone length. For about six months straight her mom would send her over with a "Coolio" hair style, it was literally just braided straight up with no beads, or anything.
When her hair is not in that hair style it is pulled up into a dry afro puff. This is when I take the opportunity to wash and condition her hair and put it into a cuter hair style. I also offered to put her hair in kinky twists to give her hair a chance to recooperate but her mom had a fit at the very thought ... smh

 

[rririla]

I have the opposite issue.....my dd inherited more of the Caucasian/Indian hair as opposed to my coarser curlier hair....she has a looser wavier texture and SHE wants to wear her hair in braids or twists or a bone straight look.....but her hair wont stay in a neat braid or twist....and it immediately reverts back to the wave that she naturally has....she gets a lil upset b/c all her cousins get to wear beads and braids and when I do hers like this it only lasts a day....she is only 8 so she gets upset...but I have to constantly reinforce that her hair is really beautiful in it's own way....and she doesn't need to have braids but I don't think she can appreciate it yet....and as a sidenote....I am always proud of my children no matter what their physical attributes and keep them on point at all cost!!!!!!

 

[Ishtar]

BKT on an eight year old! Those fumes alone will make a grown woman run and cry. I think the mom is just lazy as he!! and don't want to put the time, and effort into her daughter's hair. Sounds like she just want the easy way out. There maybe some envy and jealousy going on there too from what you've described.

She found a stylist who's willing to do it, saying they do kids all the time. She's not trying that stuff on her hair.

 

[LaToya28]

That's sad. She just doesn't want to take the time to do her daughter's hair.

I am a tad bit envious of my daughter's hair, although not in a bad way. Her hair is my dream hair! It's healthy, thick, natural, and long! I keep it styled nicely in cornrows and twists.

 

[WAVES4DAYS]

She found a stylist who's willing to do it, saying they do kids all the time. She's not trying that stuff on her hair.

@ bold: but she'll put it on her child's hair!

That poor baby! When she gets older, she'll question her mom as we all did... as to why she put chemicals on her hair.

Does she know about this sight? Let her take a look at the many beautiful heads of natural hair'd women and children here. Some people just can't see the beauty of natural hair.