Wives were you attracted to your husband when you first met him???

mscurly

mscurly

Well-Known Member
I'm curious because I've recently come to the conclusion that in order to get married you have to settle, bend, or really compromise and let go of a quality you are looking for.

In my past experience the really good looking attractive guys want to be players or play games and don't feel the need to settle down.

So now I have opened myself up to dating men that I am not attracted to physically but are really nice personality wise and treat me much better.

One of my girlfriends has been doing this for years. She dates guys she considers ugly or fat because they treat her good and her experience with the fine men was the same none of them took her serious or wanted to be in a committed relationship/ marriage.

Has anyone else lowered their standards and found that worked?
 
I wasnt initially physically attracted to DH. I found him good lookg but i didnt want to get w him at all. We were friends for a couple of years before thgs took off.
I find now that his good looks r an added bonus to all his othr great qualities that really attractd me
 
Last edited:
But you at least found him good looking initially. I'm dating this guy that I don't find attractive at all. I like his personality, he's easy to get along with and makes me laugh. I'm going to continue dating him to see where it goes. It's easy to do right now because it hasn't gotten physical no kissing or anything.
 
Yes, I was attracted to my husband the first time we met , but keep in mind that even the not so attractive men can be players as well.
 
Being ugly doesn't guarantee no heartbreak or good treatment. There are ugly jerks out there too. Sounds like baggage, assumptions and fear holding your friend back.
I wouldn't follow her strategy because you really don't know the REAL reason why she's doing what she's doing. His level of attraction will not ensure a successful relationship.
Then you'll be upset that you got played by an ugly dude lol!

This reminds me of a thought I once heard: if you invest time in getting to know someone, you may eventually fall for them.
 
Very attracted to him. I've known some ugmos that think they are the ish, break hearts left and right. I wouldn't settle for ish!
 
Yes, I was attracted to him when we first met and, thankfully, I still am. I have to echo the other ladies who said that just because a man isn't attractive doesn't mean that he can't be a "player" or overall schmuck. Guard your heart.
 
I'm not married but SO and I are talking about marriage. I wasn't attracted to him when we first met, but I didn't find him unattractive. He's a little bigger than what I usually go for, and a little over an inch shorter than my cut off for height ( 6 ft) its shallow but I'm a tall girl. Otherwise he's everything that I like and has alot of attractive traits that I never thought to look for. So while I may have had to look past a couple minor details at first, I feel I've got more than enough to keep me happy.

Though I do secretly wish our kids take from my side of the family when it comes to height.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using LHCF
 
In the relationships that I have observed that appear to be great, the woman is more attractive than the man, but that doesn't mean the woman wasn't attracted to him. I will have to ask :) I have been played by ugly dudes, as well as attractive ones.
 
Nope. He was physically attractive but he was very silly to the point of being annoying.

I know this thread is about physical attraction but sometimes the cute ones can have traits that turn you off so there's that. Over time, I realized he had everything else I needed and he toned down the silliness real quick once he started pursuing me.

I don't feel like I settled but that was an easy fix. I'm not sure how easy it is to get past physical undesirability.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
 
I was attracted to DH when we first met. I think physical attraction is important. You have to be able to be intimate with the man. It's important to have realistic expectations, but no one should ever settle.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Extremely attracted. I could not date a man that I'm not physically attracted to. I think you have to compromise on certain issues no matter what. I can't compromise on looks too.
 
Yes. We met at a mutual friends wedding and started talking. I liked him immediately.

Sent from my iPhone
 
Yes, I was very attracted to my husband when we first met. I don't think I could be with someone who I wasn't physically attracted to.
 
I was. I met him in security line at an airport and I started a conversation with him because I thought he was cute and looked like someone less I knew.

I still think he's cute :blush:
 
Good question OP!! :yep: I often wonder about this myself, because I hear conflicting advice from married women also.

My take?? I'd rather have a guy who was not AS good-looking on the scale but who treated me like a queen, as opposed to a GORGEOUS looking guy who was a straight up jerk to me. :nono: Even a guy friend told me years ago that I should look at the guys who aren't as good looking and who don't have a harem of women after them, because sometimes they can be the better catches. :yep:

With THAT said, I cannot settle on attraction. :nono: I LONG to find someone who I am attracted to physically as well as emotionally, but if the guy isn't a GQ model, I'm not going to turn him down if he has a great personality and treats me right.

I just can't do "ugly" I'm sorry...:hand: :nono: Plus, there HAS to be SOMETHING attracting me to him (notice I didn't say "handsome"). His personality has to be bomb or SOMETHING if he is not conventionally handsome. :look:


My IDEAL however is a guy who treats me right, is a GREAT person, and someone I find handsome or cute. :grin:



mscurly said:
But you at least found him good looking initially. I'm dating this guy that I don't find attractive at all. I like his personality, he's easy to get along with and makes me laugh. I'm going to continue dating him to see where it goes. It's easy to do right now because it hasn't gotten physical no kissing or anything.
Click to expand...

Hmmm....:perplexed

AT ALL??? Like, not at ALL?? I don't know if I could do that. They say it takes women TIME to warm up, but if after 5 dates you're STILL not feeling anything, I don't think I would continue to do it. :nono:

I usually know within 3 dates or at least a month whether or not I would want to continue further. :look:


TRINITY05 said:
Yes, I was attracted to my husband the first time we met , but keep in mind that even the not so attractive men can be players as well.
Click to expand...

:werd: You are speaking the TRUTH!!!! OMG!
 
I've come to realize that I am demisexual!! If I don't develop an emotional connection to them, it doesn't matter how they look.
 
I met my husband on a blind date and when I saw him I thought, "Oh, he's cute!". So yeah, I was attracted to him when we met. I wouldn't date someone I didn't find attractive.
 
No, I was more attracted to his personality and how attentive he was (our first date was a weekend slumber and he literally went out and bought everything I stated in prior conversations about I liked and didn't like-from organic milk to new drinkware, as I don't drink of out plastic cups).

I do love his studious look and his lower body--tennis player legs and beautiful feet. When I first saw him in person (we met online), he looked different than his photo and I couldn't quite figure out what was "off" about his body. The only thing I could come up with is that his lower body is disproportionate to his upper body. However, just last week I looked at him and BINGO it hit me (all these years I've been trying to figure it out)...he doesn't have a neck! Like its really short.

I'm still not 100% physically attracted to him, but looks aren't everything--I suppose. :lol:
 
YES! The first time I heard his voice it did something to me. So deep and controlled to be so young. I was 13 and he was 15 then.

When we met, I thought he was soo fine and smooth!

16 years later, he is still fine and smooth.
 
I thought he was cute and we had a lot in common. We met at work. Now we work at different locations (same company).
 
I didn't really pay DH any attention the first few times we were introduced. When I finally did notice him on my own I asked my secretary about him. Weird how that works.
 
Nope. I thought he was arrogant and self-centered. I realized later that part of that is a cover for his shy/introverted ways... and then learned later that he really is self-centered.
 
I was attracted to my FH as soon as he introduced himself to me and he is still very pleasing to the eyes with both his face and body.

I could not be with a man that I had zero physical attraction to and there are a lot of good looking guys who treat their wives like queens.

It must suck being a person that only gets dates because they appear "safe".
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

mscurly
Wives were you attracted to your husband when you first met him???
Replies
18
Views
8K
mscurly
mscurly
softblackcotton
If can't have someone you're attracted to...
Replies
29
Views
2K
WhippedButterCreme
WhippedButterCreme
thinkpinkprincess
How PHYSICALLY attracted r u to your SO ?
Replies
7
Views
169
Candy_C
Candy_C
Crystalicequeen123
  • Poll Poll
Married Ladies...were you attracted to your husbands when you all met?
2
Replies
48
Views
1K
LisaLisa1908
LisaLisa1908
bellebebe
When You First Met Your "SO", What Did You First Notice About Him?...
2
Replies
41
Views
655
africanqueen456
africanqueen456
Back
Top