Why women shouldn't say "I Love You" first...

[Vshanell]

This thread came right on time.

I have not said I love you yet but I did sign his B-Day card Love and then my name. Is that bad? I sign everyone's cards like that.

I had a gut feeling that I probably shouldn't say it first but I didn't know what others views on this were.

 

[LivingDoll]

Experience is the greatest teacher. With that said, I would never, ever tell a man that I love him first again.

 

[esoterica]

I agree with the article. Shy does not fly with me at all.

Dude is gonna have to grab his balls and say the words.

 

[esoterica]

That happened to me. He said that he didn't care if I didn't feel the same way about him, but to just let him know when I was ready to say it and actually mean it. And he waited, and one day I told him back.

Now that's what I'm talking about.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

I just found this interesting article.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/12/26/tf.women.say.love.you/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

While the author's point makes some sense, there are some shy men who might really love their women and wait for her to declare her feelings first.

What do y'all think?

This line reminds me of the book, "He's Just Not That In To You." LOL, I do not know ONE guy out of my guy friends (all who are tall, dark, handsome and sweet) who would feel shy about telling a girl he loved her. They way I look at it, if you are too shy to say you love me then you are little b**** and I wouldn't want to be with you anyway.

 

[Naturelle]

I guess I'm the oddball...

I've never said it first until I met my SO who I'm with for a year and half now...at first when I knew that I loved, I was a little apprehensive, but for some reason, I think he knew that I did...when I said it I had no regrets..

He didn't tell me he loved me back right away, he did later on his own in his own way, and I appreciate that more...I don't feel just because someone says they love you you should automatically say it back....that's ingenuine

I don't have a problem telling someone I love them if I am...why hide the feelings if they are sincere? Why should I be afraid that the person may not love me? If they don't they don't...

I guess I knew my SO loved me too before he said it and for us it was different how things played out...

But that's the beauty of love I think....when you know it's right, it doesn't feel wrong no matter who says it first

 

[Spongie Bloom]

ok i was told this since i can remember and my bfs always said it to me first, it was usually out of the blue cause i was not anywhere near that emotion and would hav to say 'thank you' or 'i love being with you' then end up saying i love you cause maybe like a month has passed lol and would end up saying it so as not to hurt their feelings.
well the recent, i fell for him big time lol and those feelings didnt invoke insecurity or anxiety or even vulnerability but it felt good. i wanted him to know that i love him i didnt care if he said it to me back cause that wasnt the point, the point was i was in love with him and i was very happy that i felt that way so one night after an evening out he was dropping me off at my house and so when i got out i leaned back in and i said to him ill say something n ull listen n i dont want u to answer so i looked into his eyes and told him i love him.. i then gave him one of my goofy smiles which always makes him laugh and then i went into my building.
The next day we had plans so we went out did our thang the ahem next morning after the goodbyes i noticed he left a note written read me now on the table next to the front door it was written ive loved u from the very first time u looked at me and given me one your smiles. i thought maybe i could catch him up so i got my slippers on preparing to race down to the car park but he was waiting outside lol with his hands in his pockets looking adorable then he told me he loves me a few hrs after that i asked him wat if i hadnt seen the note wud he still be waiting outside the door lol he said he had a plan b but i dont believe him.

 

[MD_Lady]

I said it first to DH and it had nothing do with him being hesitant, not knowing how to express his feelings, or not sharing the feelings, but the fact that he was planning on doing it in a special way. I didn't doubt myself before or after telling DH (then SO) that I loved him and, to this day, I don't regret being the first to say it. I think the article makes a good point, but since different men do things for different reasons, I think women should still use their discretion in that situation and make sure they aren't saying I love you to the wrong person and/or for the wrong reasons.

 

[NappturalWomyn]

I said it first, and it has been the biggest mistake ever!

I have been with this guy for a long time, and I said it first because I felt that way. When I got those three words, this is what I got: "I love you too, are you happy now?" AYFM???? I didn't force him to say anything. I just wanted to be honest about my feelings.

Unless you went through it like me, you can't imagine how spirit crushing that was to hear. It is so disheartening.

Don't say it first. If you are with the wrong dude, it could be disasterous. Now, if you all will excuse me, I am going to the animal shelter to adopt some cats. I am very close to pulling myself out of the gene pool (just not date anymore).

 

[Divine Inspiration]

I said it first, and it has been the biggest mistake ever!

I have been with this guy for a long time, and I said it first because I felt that way. When I got those three words, this is what I got: "I love you too, are you happy now?" AYFM???? I didn't force him to say anything. I just wanted to be honest about my feelings.

Unless you went through it like me, you can't imagine how spirit crushing that was to hear. It is so disheartening.

Don't say it first. If you are with the wrong dude, it could be disasterous. Now, if you all will excuse me, I am going to the animal shelter to adopt some cats. I am very close to pulling myself out of the gene pool (just not date anymore).

Awww It's ok, NW...

Consider it a lesson learned...every situation helps you fine tune your intuition. His inability to express love to you doesn't make you unworthy of it.