Why I/You do not want to go to a hair stylist!

[PuffyBrown]

I want to hear your comments on the changes in your
hair since you stopped going to the stylist altogther or infrequently.

I self relaxed last weekend for the first time in a thousand years. I used the Affirm "complete" system ie...prolink, 5 & 1, neutralizing shampoo.

I am so in awe of my hair right now. First after I rinsed, used the prolink and 5&1, DCd and airdried. My hair was REALLY soft. It is silky. I cannot explain it but the results but its NOT the same result that I got from going to the stylist.
Also, my hair looks like it has been flat ironed when it hasn't (after adding product).

My thing is I can't believe that I did not notice before. I paid anywhere from $65 to $75 just for the relaxer, and she wasn't even using all of the other products that came with the system. Further, I am a strong advocate that products, especially chemical products have other products for a "reason" ie...Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, etc...I didn't even know it came like that! These IMO are not "recommended products" Step instructions sound like it is required to me? I feel jipped.

So that is my number 1 reason that I don't want to go back...

1. Not using the complete system and/ or taking short cuts...

(closely compatible product would work here, the pro-link acutally brings the ph down in your hair before using the neutralizer that also brings down the ph...she didn't even use the AFFIRM neutralizer...)

2. Scissor happy
(I have no idea what I am going to do at "trim" time....
she is one who wants to trim, after each relaxer. I have literally gone through my entire head and found less than 5 splits and they were just at the very tip of my hair "just starting to split"), hardly justifying a complete trim every 10*12 weeks....)

3. Having too many appointments at the same time.

(do you notice that much of your time at the hair stylist, is waiting for somebody else to get out of the chair).

4. Too occupied with everything going on in the salon and not my hair

(Don't go on your lunch break while you are doing my hair. I don't know why stylist don't just schedule a regular lunch break. They just want to stop when they want to and then they get behind with their clients).

Do you have anything that you would like to share or add to this list?

oh,
ps...if you decide to self relax with Affirm, get the entire system, you will definately not regret it....

 

[gabulldawg]

I'd love to relax my own hair, but the one time I tried it a few years ago it didn't take at all!! I've finally found a stylist who specializes in healthy hair and she does a good job of texlaxing my hair. Maybe if I find some good tips I will try it again in the future.

 

[Solitude]

I don't know...there are some really good stylists out there. I had a great AA stylist in Houston who specialized in healthy hair. I just couldn't afford to go regularly when I was in college. Here in DC, I love the Dominican stylists.

My rule of thumb is; if I don't like the stylist's hair and/or attitude, I find someone else or do my hair at home for a while. So, if home styling works for you, go for it. There seem to be lots of ladies here who's hair is thriving from them taking care of it themselves.

 

[Nonie]

I love the independence of doing my hair myself and not being at anyone's mercy. What's more, after years of doing my hair myself, I went to a stylist that a lot of people seem to adore and admire and believe in, in the hope of getting more styling ideas, and she not only cut off more than 5 inches of my hair (Something I most certainly didn't not want, since having long hair is a dream of mine) but she also created the ugliest style I had ever worn on my head. (Friends who know me even asked if she had combed my hair, or if it was supposed to be a joke--coz it looked like we'd both lost our damn minds.)

Nah, I do not want to go to a stylist because no one cares about my hair as much as I do to bother taking the time to understand it so s/he can treat it right the way I can and do. And the more I become acquainted with my hair, them more creative I seem to get so that I am at a loss on what exactly a stylist would do for me that I cannot do for myself. Even if it may take me a while to master some skills that stylists already have, I have no doubt in my mind that when I do become adroit at those skills I will do a better job on my hair, with more TLC, than anyone else ever could.

 

[ntrlbeauty87]

I love the independence of doing my hair myself and not being at anyone's mercy. What's more, after years of doing my hair myself, I went to a stylist that a lot of people seem to adore and admire and believe in, in the hope of getting more styling ideas, and she not only cut off more than 5 inches of my hair (Something I most certainly didn't not want, since having long hair is a dream of mine) but she also created the ugliest style I had ever worn on my head. (Friends who know me even asked if she had combed my hair, or if it was supposed to be a joke--coz it looked like we'd both lost our damn minds.)

Nah, I do not want to go to a stylist because no one cares about my hair as much as I do to bother taking the time to understand it so s/he can treat it right the way I can and do. And the more I become acquainted with my hair, them more creative I seem to get so that I am at a loss on what exactly a stylist would do for me that I cannot do for myself. Even if it may take me a while to master some skills that stylists already have, I have no doubt in my mind that when I do become adroit at those skills I will do a better job on my hair, with more TLC, than anyone else ever could.

That statement right there is exactly why I don't like going to a stylist. Also, I've never found a stylist who does my hair the way I like, even when I give them a picture. I've been going to my stylist since I was 13(she's also my mother's stylist). And I also question why I would want to go to a stylist who uses the same products from the bss that I could get myself. I mean isn't the point of going to the salon to get an experience and result that I wouldn't be able to get at home?

The only time I go is for a relaxer and trim, but after my last experience I want to take those matters into my own hands too. The last time I went to see my stylist I was very disapponted. She didn't deep condition my hair, use a heat protectant, or handle it with care. Her heat protectant was CURL WAX, which she put on my WET HAIR! Then she tried to detangle my hair, but instead of doing just that, she raked through it. I wanted get up and run! Then she used a marcel iron on my hair and she kept burning my shoulder. The next part I can't really blame on her because she got sick, but she "trimmed" my hair from past bsl to an inch above it. My ends were not that bad in the least bit. When I left, my hair looked a HAM and because of the curl wax I could barely get my fingers though it. I had to wash it after 2 days b/c it was so bad. Like I said before, I couldn't get mad at her because she got sick. She even felt so bad that she told me I could come back next time for free. Only thing is I wasn't planning on going back.

Since then, I've discovered rollersetting, which I've fallen in LOVE with. So this will be a part of my regimen from now on. Now I'm just excited to take control of my hair and I'm really excited about the new methods and products that I've discovered to go to someone who doesn't care about my hair the way I do.

 

[TwistedRoots]

1. The entire length of my hair will not be at mercy to a fine tooth comb
2. My hair won't be washed like its being handled on a wash board and then handled roughly with a dry cotton towel.
3. To save money!

 

[jasmin]

Originally Posted by Nonie
I love the independence of doing my hair myself and not being at anyone's mercy

I feel the same also. I got tired of them having to rely on these stylist who seem to try to do what they want to do. They know you need them and you can see it the way they act if you go against them. I got tired of telling them 'no I don't want them to put scissors to my hair'. I got tired of the good ones moving on then having to find new ones and sometimes settle. Just got tired...

 

[Tee]

The key is finding a good stylist who understands you and your hair. Yes, it takes time and patience to find one, but it worth it. I will never completely give up mine. I love her.

 

[VioletWylde]

If I could find a cosmetologist who is interested in keeping my hair healthy--instead of styling it at any cost to the condition of my hair, then sure I might consider going back. As of now though, I have too many issues with other people in my hair and hair jealousy. It's not like I'm trying to say I have bomb hair all the time, but I've never had a stylist not comment on how soft it is--and then proceed to trim too much or shred it with a fine tooth comb. I can't even get a good rollerset. My hair is just grazing SL, so I know that the big curlers aren't plausible, but why do I always end up with GRANNY CURLS?

 

[Kari107]

1. The entire length of my hair will not be at mercy to a fine tooth comb
2. My hair won't be washed like its being handled on a wash board and then handled roughly with a dry cotton towel.
3. To save money!

I totally agree with all of the above.

• I have hair that tangles easily and raking it with a fine tooth comb is not the answer.
• I also had a stylist who as she was washing my hair was scraching my scalp with her acrilyc (sp.?) nails umm... that's not exactly my idea of a scalp massage.
• I've just had too many detrimental things done to my hair by "stylists" that I just prefer to do it at home. Anything I can't do I just elist a family member or friend to help me and with the money I save I put it towards my pj fund.

 

[NYAmicas]

That statement right there is exactly why I don't like going to a stylist. Also, I've never found a stylist who does my hair the way I like, even when I give them a picture. I've been going to my stylist since I was 13(she's also my mother's stylist). And I also question why I would want to go to a stylist who uses the same products from the bss that I could get myself. I mean isn't the point of going to the salon to get an experience and result that I wouldn't be able to get at home?

The only time I go is for a relaxer and trim, but after my last experience I want to take those matters into my own hands too. The last time I went to see my stylist I was very disapponted. She didn't deep condition my hair, use a heat protectant, or handle it with care. Her heat protectant was CURL WAX, which she put on my WET HAIR! Then she tried to detangle my hair, but instead of doing just that, she raked through it. I wanted get up and run! Then she used a marcel iron on my hair and she kept burning my shoulder. The next part I can't really blame on her because she got sick, but she "trimmed" my hair from past bsl to an inch above it. My ends were not that bad in the least bit. When I left, my hair looked a HAM and because of the curl wax I could barely get my fingers though it. I had to wash it after 2 days b/c it was so bad. Like I said before, I couldn't get mad at her because she got sick. She even felt so bad that she told me I could come back next time for free. Only thing is I wasn't planning on going back.

Since then, I've discovered rollersetting, which I've fallen in LOVE with. So this will be a part of my regimen from now on. Now I'm just excited to take control of my hair and I'm really excited about the new methods and products that I've discovered to go to someone who doesn't care about my hair the way I do.

Sounds like a nightmare....

I dont like the condescending attitudes some stylists have when I state my preferences and how I'd like my hair handled. Last time I went to get my hair done I was told with my hair it should be relaxed every 5-6 weeks! C'mon now.
And having to explain/argue why I dont want that "trim" can get very annoying. If I let them cut my hair when they wanted, it wouldn't be where it's at now!

 

[PuffyBrown]

I know what you are saying makes a lot of sense.

I am starting to think that geographical location has a lot to do with it, and this certainly does not apply to EVERBODY...nothing ever does.

I have ever had this problem until I moved here. Most of they stylists here try to be so cheap so that they can keep as much money as they can as profit. Secondly, I don't expect a stylist to have her hair model perfect, but I want a stylist who takes care of her own hair. In one styling salon that I visited one of the stylist (not mine) was always doing something with her hair. Finally she burnt it all out because she did color on relaxer....get this.....a few months later she got promoted to be the salon supervisor...are you foreal? The lady that I was seeing at the time hair looked good, that is until you took out all the glue and hairspray..lolol...sorry.
She over moisturized my hair. It was so mushy and just pulling out. She didn't even know what was wrong and just kept DCing me. Heck, I didn't know. She's supposed to be the specialist, right. That was my PRE - LCHF days and thank all that is good that I found this site.
I am positive that my stylist is out there somewhere, but at this rate, I will be bald headed by the time I find her.

I don't know...there are some really good stylists out there. I had a great AA stylist in Houston who specialized in healthy hair. I just couldn't afford to go regularly when I was in college. Here in DC, I love the Dominican stylists.

My rule of thumb is; if I don't like the stylist's hair and/or attitude, I find someone else or do my hair at home for a while. So, if home styling works for you, go for it. There seem to be lots of ladies here who's hair is thriving from them taking care of it themselves.

The key is finding a good stylist who understands you and your hair. Yes, it takes time and patience to find one, but it worth it. I will never completely give up mine. I love her.

 

[LushLox]

I've been seeing the same stylist for several years but I've gotten increasingly frustrated with her over the years.

She works from home so whenever I go there are always one or two ladies in the process of getting their hair done so there is always a 15-30 minute wait.

She's been known to relax hair right up the lengths of the hair thus the hair is over processed, when I realised this was overtly causing damage I asked her to just apply the relaxer to the new growth, I don't think she appreciated it much, but it's my hair my money right?

Also she's not that gentle with my wet hair either, she's quite vigorous in her combing.

What annoyed me recently is she applied some mousse to my hair to do a rollerset, but she over did it, subsequently when the rollers came out my curls were crisp! If I didn't see if for myself I would have sworn she used spritz or something!

All in all she's not bad, but she's not great, I've always known this, but I've just been too lazy to search for hairdresser. I'm giving her £15 a week for steam treatments, but I know I can do just as good a job, and probably better so I may as well do that and save some money in the process. I'm going to continue to see a stylist for my re touch though as I'm not quite that brave!

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Anything I can't do I just elist a family member or friend to help me and with the money I save I put it towards my pj fund.
[/LIST]

YES!!!

This justifies me buying WEN wooooooooot!

 

[foxieroxienyc]

For me it's become a matter of wanting independence. I don't like HAVING TO rely on someone else to care for what's growing out of my body. The information is out there and free for anyone to learn and to seek out, so I decided to take it upon myself to learn what my hair needs and what it certainly doesn't need.

I got really tired mostly of justifying why I didn't want my hair trimmed... Why I waited so long to have my hair relaxed... Why I wash my hair so often... Why I condition my hair so much.... Why I just don't wear a weave for length... Why I like boring styles and not trendy styles.... And the list goes on and on. If I'm paying you, I want you to just shut up and give me the service(s) I ASK FOR... Not what you think I need when you know good and well I don't...

I'm now self sufficient. I relax my own hair (Silk Elements mild) and it comes out AMAZINGLY. I can roller set, flexirod set, do stylish up do's.... I can flat iron and blow out with minimal damage... And all the while my hair is thriving. After living out here in LA and observing the AMAZING healthy heads of hair out here, I've asked women and young girls where they get their hair done in hopes of finding a good stylist... Most of them do it themselves or someone in their family takes care of it... That speaks volumes to me... Now I'm one of them.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

I love my stylist, I really really do. But the quality of her products have gone down hill. Some of the stuff she's used on me made me swell up (it itched as soon as she put it on.) I think sometimes I frustrate her because I'm so sensitive. When I went often and she used quality products, my hair flourished... I didn't have tons of extra length but it was growing and very healthy.

Then.... the products began to change from Mizani and DE to cheap crap I had never heard of. Every now and again she'd have a gem (mint/teatree/menthol shampoo) but the other stuff dried my hair out, broke it off, made me itch and I'm like. Ok.... I understand that everything's going up but this crap sucks... buy some of the good stuff.

One thing though, she's excellent at dustings, trims, and cuts. She gives me exactly what I want.... and I wouldn't trade that.

But for now... I'm self-relaxing (or getting fam to do it) and only going in for DC's, styles, or trims. I save money, get exactly what I want, and I take my time with it. It's more like a treat now instead of a chore. AND I DON'T HAVE TO SPEND ALL DAY AT A SALON listening to pointless gossip, screaming banshees, or threaten physical violence. YAY. hehe

 

[PuffyBrown]

I think you hit the nail right on its head.
I moved from SanDiego to a smaller state a long long way....I see some really good looking heads here too , but honestly not that many. Its not that these ladies don't care; I honestly believe that they really don't know.

The horror stories that I hear about how to do this for hair and how to do that for hair is scarry..I know that this isn't the only place that has those beliefs and there were plenty in San Diego, but sometimes I feel that I have no refuge...and I'm on my own with my head where I feel comfortable.

Here, JCP is popular and the ladies there do an excellent job on hair. I went on a regular basis but they got to be too dang over priced.

but you are correct...I N D E P E N D E N T.....know what that mean?..

For me it's become a matter of wanting independence. I don't like HAVING TO rely on someone else to care for what's growing out of my body. The information is out there and free for anyone to learn and to seek out, so I decided to take it upon myself to learn what my hair needs and what it certainly doesn't need.

I got really tired mostly of justifying why I didn't want my hair trimmed... Why I waited so long to have my hair relaxed... Why I wash my hair so often... Why I condition my hair so much.... Why I just don't wear a weave for length... Why I like boring styles and not trendy styles.... And the list goes on and on. If I'm paying you, I want you to just shut up and give me the service(s) I ASK FOR... Not what you think I need when you know good and well I don't...

I'm now self sufficient. I relax my own hair (Silk Elements mild) and it comes out AMAZINGLY. I can roller set, flexirod set, do stylish up do's.... I can flat iron and blow out with minimal damage... And all the while my hair is thriving. After living out here in LA and observing the AMAZING healthy heads of hair out here, I've asked women and young girls where they get their hair done in hopes of finding a good stylist... Most of them do it themselves or someone in their family takes care of it... That speaks volumes to me... Now I'm one of them.

 

[PuffyBrown]

Don't forget the visit from the man selling watches...the the lady that come in to get fish plate orders, bean pie man, hotwings, soul food, hair care products, handbags, jewelry...etc...lol...If I wanted a dang fish sandwich I would have stopped by the dang restarant before I got here.....

Don't you just love the Department store beauty salon...you can go in, get your hair done, eat, buy jewelry, get nails done, buy clothes, accessories, play the lottery....maybe not a big deal to some...but they need to hire some more people....(since they making all that money)...

.

But for now... I'm self-relaxing (or getting fam to do it) and only going in for DC's, styles, or trims. I save money, get exactly what I want, and I take my time with it. It's more like a treat now instead of a chore. AND I DON'T HAVE TO SPEND ALL DAY AT A SALON listening to pointless gossip, screaming banshees, or threaten physical violence. YAY. hehe

 

[charmtreese]

YES!!!

This justifies me buying WEN wooooooooot!

This is my excuse as well when I pay a little extra for hair products! I told my friend this yesterday after I had an online hair care shopping spree!!! I only visit my stylist for relaxer touch-ups (2-3 times a year) but I have to justify my 175 dollar WEN & Jessicurl purchase!!!

 

[zzirvingj]

The main reasons I've shyed away from going to stylists over the years:

1. Expense...The $$$ I've paid to them coulda bought me a couple of FHI irons, a Chi Rocket blow dryer, a Pibbs 514 dryer and a nice hair steamer.

2. I've had them tell me to do things to my hair (avoid water at all costs, comb it every single day, etc.) that would be counterproductive to me retaining length and healthy hair.

3. Freedom...I like being able to do my hair myself and not having to bother with wondering if a stylist will have any openings to take me on a day I need to get my hair done.

4. Trust...I had a stylist jack up my hair color, I had one try to convince me that I needed a 3-inch "trim", and one that trimmed my hair "behind my back" after I was asked and confirmed that I did not want a trim. It's taken way too long 4 my hair to get to this point for someone else (that I'm PAYING, at that...) to mess it up for me

There are still good stylists out there who will listen to you....I have not given up on stylists completely, I just don't depend upon them to do the majority of my hair maintenance these days...

 

[Paradox]

I remember reading another forum from years ago( memory lane on LHFC) about a women complaining about affirm drying out her hair, and the other members told her that her stylist was not using the whole system. with relaxers stylists don't use the whole system so that messes up the hair, I'm glad you found that out.

 

[zanna]

I have never been to a hair stylist in my life bcause since I was young my mom thought me how to take care of my hair.
I to everything myself.
Zanna

 

[C.Nicole]

Ya know, you ladies have alot of great points..You understand exactly where I'm coming from...I've had stylists that don't listen AT ALL, my hair is thin & lightweight, I cant have alot of product on it...and here she comes with a whole glob of Lord knows what, plops it on my head, proceeds to blowdry just to realize that she had to wash it all out again and start all over (with bout 3 other ladies still waiting on her).. If she had only listened to me...
Nevertheless here are some other reasons:
1) I can buy the same DC products that she is charging $11 per treatment for....
2) She's so busy tryna outstyle the next stylist that she totally disregards what style I originally asked for..
3) After about 2 days after my salon visit, I would get horrible dandruff, my scalp/hair wasnt balanced at all...Now that I am self-styled, my scalp has never been in better shape

 

[SelfStyled]

Does my screen name not say it all. If I can't do it myself, it's not getting done.

There are sooooo many reasons why I have abandoned salons/stylists:

1. The convenience factor- I got so tired of them over booking, and me spending hours at the salon- who has time for that?

2. Atmosphere- All the gossiping.

3. Price- I had this one stylist that would charge me different all the time-wth? The straw that broke the camel's back was when this ***** charged me $50 for my daughter's haircut -she was 8 at the time. But she had " a lot of hair".

4.Knowledge- My former stylist did not know anything. I have learned 1000 times more on LHCF .

5. The trims- Need I say more? Why do we "need" a trim after every freakin touch up- why?

6. Inferior Products -I really don't know what she was using because half of her stuff was not labeled. She would rinse out plastic caps to re-use on people. To think that I even tolerated that for a sec- whew. The kicker is sometimes she wouldn't even have toilet paper in the ladies room. And her capes always smelled musty. Okay I am ranting at this point.

I would rather just do my hair at home. I don't know if I will ever find a stylist that would take care of my hair better than me.

 

[FineChyna]

i had too many bad experiences so now i am afraid to go. the stylist here seem to be more interested in style in comparison to health of your hair.

 

[Ganjababy]

Since I joined LHCF, I know more about hair than she does, this is from her mouth. (and she is a good senior stylist).

She admitted to me that she was not taught much about afro hair in cosmetology school (though she mostly does black hair) and the majority of what she was taught about hair health was based on caucasian hair.

I got a really bad relaxer burn from her.

She rips through my hair with a brush.

She is a bit scissor happy for my liking and I realise I would never go beyond shoulder length if I continued with her.

I am now natural and can totally care for my hair myself (including cutting/trimming my own hair wich I did recently with great result).

 

[flyygirlll2]

besides my mother being the one that does my hair, it realy takes alot for me to trust a stylist because some are just scissor happy anyway. at this point i just trust my mother and myself to get the job done properly. that's not to say there are not good stylist out there that will cater to your hairs needs, but unfortunetly i don't happen to know many.

 

[ctosha]

I Prefer to do my own hair because

1. I am natural and I do not want to have my hair ripped apart by a fine tooth comb and handled in a rough manner
2. I don't want to be told I need to relax my hair
3. SAVE MONEY!!!!! I cannot even tell you how much money I have saved since being natural
4. I have heard stories of naturals going to the salon and initially they are told that "oh im just putting conditioner in your hair" when infact its a texturizer or relaxer I personally know someone that this has happend to and I don't want to go throught that (someone would get a beat down and be sued)
5. I DONT TRUST HAIRDRESSERS! I know more about my hair then someone who is seeing it for the first time in life, just my thoughts

 

[skipper]

i really do love my stylist he's really nice but certain things do bother me. his relaxers always turn out fabulous even though i know just by looking in the mirror on the way to the washing station that there's some over lap. he always rakes through my hair when its wet this drives me CRAZY!!! he just barely started using a comb to do this before he was using a vent brush. he rakes through it with that blowdryer comb attachment too. and he puts too much crap in my hair i hate it when i leave the salon with a greasy @ss weird style. and its hard to tell him that i actually hate the styles he gives me so i dont.

i went to another guy in la that was highly recommended here he was nice but he burned me with the relaxer and still used a brush to detangle my wet hair not heat protectant when he flat ironed and my bill came out to $120 instead of my usual $75 with my usual stylist. if im paying that much money i expect my hair to be treated with kid gloves.

i need to get up the guts to self relax, during my last relaxer i really paid attention the way my stylist applied it the way he greased my scalp before hand and the time it too from start to finish of the application and i think i am ready. i figure the next time i go to a stylist will be for a hair cut i want a few long layers once i reach bsl. ill probably end up at my gf's white stylist because i know i can tell her exactly what i want without her getting all b*tchy with me. i wish i could go to my old stylist but he cant even give me a nice style so i way to scared to let him near me with the scissors.

 

[FluffyRed]

I no longer have chunks of oozy scabby chemical burns after a relaxer

My hair is not subjected to unnecessarily high levels of heat

I keep my money

My hair does not feel overprocessed and spongy

I don't have to use baby powder to remove excessive grease from my hair

My hair looks fluffier and not as thin

I don't have some maniac take a clipper with a 1/2 inch guard to the top of my 4-inch napptural fro ( yes, he did!)

Did I mention money?

I don't have soemone lying to me about what I know I am experiencing - black marks on my ears from "the heat" - yeah, the heat when you burnt me!