Why do women feel the need to control their friends?

[Lucia]

What's this about really, and why can't we just let them be, (of course if they're not hurting themselves drugs, booze etc.. or committing crimes) What's the deal with that? share your insights please. TIA
Example: anyone watch the TO show episode when the 2 GF ahve a blow out fight b/c 1 wanted to get a little wild w/ the stripper and the other 1 was so against it that the other women had to hold her back.

 

[janiebaby]

Didn't see it buuuut was Mo the thinner one the one being held back? I only saw the 1st episode but I have a sense of their personalities.

Since I didn't see I'm just making up stuff but maybe she didn't want to see her friend do something she might regret and end up in the same lonely boat she's in. I dunno....

Most of the time when someone feels strongly about something that has nothing to do with them it's usually because the person is A) not happy and doesn't want to see anyone else happy or B) not happy and doesn't want to see anyone else successfully pull off what they themselves could not...

 

[Lucia]

Didn't see it buuuut was Mo the thinner one the one being held back? I only saw the 1st episode but I have a sense of their personalities.

Since I didn't see I'm just making up stuff but maybe she didn't want to see her friend do something she might regret and end up in the same lonely boat she's in. I dunno....

Most of the time when someone feels strongly about something that has nothing to do with them it's usually because the person is A) not happy and doesn't want to see anyone else happy or B) not happy and doesn't want to see anyone else successfully pull off what they themselves could not...

Kita is the thinner one being held back, Mo's getting married and she wanted to have fun with the stripper.
bolded good points

 

[chokolate miss]

Well not control friends. But as homegirls aren't you supposed to look out for one another? I realize that we are all grown. But if I see my friend about to make a major error, I will try to prevent it if I can. I would hope they would do the same for me. Sometimes it is all about approach.

I missed the episode, but I will watch it later. Isn't Mo married already and they are just renewing the vows. I have a big thing against strippers, so I won't give any opinion on that part, YUCK!

 

[janiebaby]

Kita is the thinner one being held back, Mo's getting married and she wanted to have fun with the stripper.
bolded good points

Thanks, I got them mixed up but that's the one I had in mind.

 

[chokolate miss]

Didn't see it buuuut was Mo the thinner one the one being held back? I only saw the 1st episode but I have a sense of their personalities.

Since I didn't see I'm just making up stuff but maybe she didn't want to see her friend do something she might regret and end up in the same lonely boat she's in. I dunno....

Most of the time when someone feels strongly about something that has nothing to do with them it's usually because the person is A) not happy and doesn't want to see anyone else happy or B) not happy and doesn't want to see anyone else successfully pull off what they themselves could not...

So one is not allowed to have a strong opinion without being a hateful wench? If you care deeply about a person and want them to be happy and well things they do will matter to you.

I hated my bestie's BF, because he was a two-timing user and loser, NOT because I was upset about the state of affairs in my life and wanted her to be miserable as well. I knew she could do better and I wanted her to know that. It hurt everyone around who care about her to see her with him. Now, this was her life and all, but still. Sometimes you have to voice your concerns. They are going to do what they want to do anyway, but I need to say my piece as a friend.

(Kinda like when you see people at the club looking a hot mess, and you are mad that her girls let her leave the house like that...)

 

[Lucia]

Well not control friends. But as homegirls aren't you supposed to look out for one another? I realize that we are all grown. But if I see my friend about to make a major error, I will try to prevent it if I can. I would hope they would do the same for me. Sometimes it is all about approach.

I missed the episode, but I will watch it later. Isn't Mo married already and they are just renewing the vows. I have a big thing against strippers, so I won't give any opinion on that part, YUCK!

Yeah understood, but just cause you have a thing about strippers, and a friend didn't and she wasn't actually going to have sex with him, just enjoying the show, then is it really your place to step in if nothing bad has actually happened, that's just assuming she's gong to bed the stripper.

 

[jada1111]

What's this about really, and why can't we just let them be, (of course if they're not hurting themselves drugs, booze etc.. or committing crimes) What's the deal with that? share your insights please. TIA
Example: anyone watch the TO show episode when the 2 GF ahve a blow out fight b/c 1 wanted to get a little wild w/ the stripper and the other 1 was so against it that the other women had to hold her back.

I didn't see it, but as a good friend on her last night of being single I'd make sure I'd have a condom in every size in case she wanted to enjoy herself. I mean what's the point in having a stripper if all you're supposed to do is look at him?

It would also depend on situation. If she's really drunk and it's not something she would normally do (you know a goody two shoes), then I wouldn't let it happen, because I'd know it was the booze talking. She'd feel bad about it the next day.

But if she's slightly tipsy and is in full control of the situation, then go ahead and have a good time on the last night of being a SINGLE woman. What she does after her marriage is her own business.

In answer to your question, I agree with janiebaby. Some folks have control issues galore and can't stand it when you wanna do you own thing. Miserable *itches.

 

[deltadreamland]

All my friends are grown, so I don't feel the need to control them and they don't try to control me either.

 

[Kutie85]

I saw the show and in regard's to kita I thought she was right. I thought the the stripper was tacky. I can understand she never had a bachelor party but she's been married since she was 19 and has two kids now. If it wasn't being taped then perhaps all the girls going to see like a show where the guy was doing a little dance would have been okay. But the stripper in a private hotel room doing the full ball's in your face routine just makes her look immature to me. Normally you see men are more hype about getting a stripper and her husband and all the guys were just chilling and from the looks of it behaving. I know people just want have fun but I expect grown women to know what is appropriate and what's inappropriate.

 

[Nyssa28]

^^I agree. A true friend tells you what you NEED to hear and not what you wanna heare. Kita had every right to speak her opinion, since she was giving her the party.

 

[Ramya]

I would hope my friends would speak up before I did something stupid and/or potentially damaging.

 

[BrownieBrie]

I didn't see the show, but to answer the question . . .
One of the purposes of a friend is have someone to look out for you and who cares about you. Why can't a person do that without being criticized? I personally have learned not to try to tell people what to do, we all gotta make our own mistakes. But if a friend doesn't try to keep you outta trouble or from doing something stupid, is that rerally a friend?