Why do so many men lie????

[Reslnt1]

I've been dating this guy for about two months...i asked him if he was dating someone else and he said no and that he only wanted to date me....low an behold my instincts which never lead me wrong....lead me to find out that he had just taken another female to dinner before he came to see me this past week....Needless to say I was livid, disappointed and hurt.....Recently i told him that his behavior (unanswered calls, unreplied texts) made me uneasy and i didnt want to see him anymore....he begged and pleaded all day long so i gave him another chance.........later that night someone called and left a v/m on his phone.....i listened to it (Yes i know that i shouldn't have invaded his privacy, but i did ) and she was pissed b/c he didn't answer (which appeared to be something he did to her regulary as well) but stated that she was unsure about what was going on with them......I proceeded to ask him to leave in a very unfriendly way and had decided that no matter what his excuse ( which of course he had) I could never trust him

Why Lie????? The truth will help us to avoid the drama that they say they dont want

 

[gymfreak336]

I've been dating this guy for about two months...i asked him if he was dating someone else and he said no and that he only wanted to date me....low an behold my instincts which never lead me wrong....lead me to find out that he had just taken another female to dinner before he came to see me this past week....Needless to say I was livid, disappointed and hurt.....Recently i told him that his behavior (unanswered calls, unreplied texts) made me uneasy and i didnt want to see him anymore....he begged and pleaded all day long so i gave him another chance.........later that night someone called and left a v/m on his phone.....i listened to it (Yes i know that i shouldn't have invaded his privacy, but i did ) and she was pissed b/c he didn't answer (which appeared to be something he did to her regulary as well) but stated that she was unsure about what was going on with them......I proceeded to ask him to leave in a very unfriendly way and had decided that no matter what his excuse ( which of course he had) I could never trust him

Why Lie????? The truth will help us to avoid the drama that they say they dont want

My sister just went through this same thing. I really don't know. All he had to say was that he was dating and playing the field. Then they call us crazy because if you call them out then you are "catching feelings"

 

[Reslnt1]

Well this idiot never said he was dating.......I can tell how much I've matured, b/c i am from the hood and I wanted to tap that A**!!!

 

[gymfreak336]

Well this idiot never said he was dating.......I can tell how much I've matured, b/c i am from the hood and I wanted to tap that A**!!!

I can't say he didn't have it comming.

 

[MzLady78]

Ugh, I feel you girl!

I really don't understand why guys are so insistant that we can't handle the truth and therefore, they must lie. erplexed

Be real about your situation and give me the opportunity to make my own decision. It very well could be in your favor.

But if I find out you deprived me of that opportunity by not giving me all the facts, it's a wrap!

 

[gymfreak336]

Ugh, I feel you girl!

I really don't understand why guys are so insistant that we can't handle the truth and therefore, they must lie. erplexed

Be real about your situation and give me the opportunity to make my own decision. It very well could be in your favor.

But if I find out you deprived me of that opportunity by not giving me all the facts, it's a wrap!

And we are the "emotional unstable ones" Gimme a break

 

[Caramela]

Men lie because they are taught by other men (their fathers, uncles, brothers and friends) that it's the manly thing to do. They also teach them other bad things about manhood.
Men continue to lie, however, after a women enables him (ie. takes him back, ignores her intuition, ignores the problem).

 

[MizAvalon]

Men lie because they are taught by other men (their fathers, uncles, brothers and friends) that it's the manly thing to do. They also teach them other bad things about manhood.
Men continue to lie, however, after a women enables him (ie. takes him back, ignores her intuition, ignores the problem).

SO on point. They lie because they were taught(whether directly or indirectly) by the older men in their lives.

I have an uncle who was and still is quite frankly, a rolling stone. ALWAYS had women here, there, and everywhere. Constantly sneaking and lying. Fast forward 30 years and he has 5 grown sons that act exactly the same way. Half of the stuff that they lie about isn't even necessary. I mean they START OFF lying! As soon as they meet the woman!

WTF?

 

[gymfreak336]

SO on point. They lie because they were taught(whether directly or indirectly) by the older men in their lives.

I have an uncle who was and still is quite frankly, a rolling stone. ALWAYS had women here, there, and everywhere. Constantly sneaking and lying. Fast forward 30 years and he has 5 grown sons that act exactly the same way. Half of the stuff that they lie about isn't even necessary. I mean they START OFF lying! As soon as they meet the woman!

WTF?

 

[Caramela]

I didn't believe it until my fiance told me some of the things he was taught by his father, older brother and friends.... It's learned! I never knew that.

 

[bluediamond0829]

they lie because they are dumb...lol

no but i think sometimes we as women are too honest at times and we expect for the individual that we are willing to set up dates with and go out with to be somewhat upfront..especially if we are only dating that person..(i still sometimes fall for that also)....

i think you should first of all date other men and dont put your hopes all into one man....secondly he is a messy dater because he cant keeps his ducks in a row(with the voicemail calls and the unanswered text)....then thirdly he should just be straight up and say well im dating i mean it shouldnt really effect anything that you and him have going on if he just straight up says yes ive dated some other women....now its a different ball game if he's sleeping with these women or if you two have taken it to that point...then you have to decide whats going to come out of it....

personally i have a couple of guys that i sometimes spend time with or go out with(nothing sexual..havent even got to the point where we kiss)...but if they ask me about my status i always tell them im single and dating...

 

[divya]

Selfishness.

 

[winterinatl]

Selfishness.

That's the root of it, right there.

 

[blackmaven]

It's in the bloodline of the family.

 

[lexi08]

Selfishness.

You hit the nail on the head with that one.

 

[Softresses]

The problem is, they shoot themselves in the foot. If they would date honestly, they would be able to date more than one woman if they were up front about their actions. Competition makes people work harder.

Not every woman dates one man and says, that's it you are the one! If men and women, simply dated many people and not limitied themselves then they would choose better when it came to finding that special one.
When I say this I mean going out with people, not jumping in bed with them.

I think that the men who lie about seeing other people are the ones who simply intend to try and sleep with every woman they can get. Otherwise why lie? No smart woman who has it going on, and really cares about herself would willingly fall for a man-whore. This is how they trap decent, often church going, God fearing women. Yes, I unfortunately I had to go there

Softresses

 

[lexi08]

The problem is, they shoot themselves in the foot. If they would date honestly, they would be able to date more than one woman if they were up front about their actions. Competition makes people work harder.

Not every woman dates one man and says, that's it you are the one! If men and women, simply dated many people and not limitied themselves then they would choose better when it came to finding that special one.
When I say this I mean going out with people, not jumping in bed with them.

I think that the men who lie about seeing other people are the ones who simply intend to try and sleep with every woman they can get. Otherwise why lie? No smart woman who has it going on, and really cares about herself would willingly fall for a man-whore. This is how they trap decent, often church going, God fearing women. Yes, I unfortunately I had to go there

Softresses

That is how honest, caring women who are looking for a relationship get hurt.

 

[locabouthair]

sorry to hear this. i remember u saying how much u liked him. (unless it's a different guy)

were you two exclusize?

even if you weren't he still lied. which was wrong. your better off leavign him alone cause if he could lie like that then he probably cant be trusted.

 

[facets]

no insights.. just remembering how one of my great aunts used to say that men were the 'lyinest things on earth'.

 

[Reslnt1]

sorry to hear this. i remember u saying how much u liked him. (unless it's a different guy)

were you two exclusize?

even if you weren't he still lied. which was wrong. your better off leavign him alone cause if he could lie like that then he probably cant be trusted.

Yes this is the same guy....
I mean, i thought WE were exclusive,,,,,but i guess i was wrong

 

[p31woman]

The thing that makes me so angry with this is that...
IF YOU WERE SO BIG AND BAD TO DO IT, BE BIG AND BAD TO OWN UP TO IT AND NOT MAKE EXCUSES FOR YOUR ACTIONS WHEN YOU GET CAUGHT.
You wanna be treated like a man...MAN UP AND ACT LIKE ONE.

 

[cocoberry10]

Men lie because they are taught by other men (their fathers, uncles, brothers and friends) that it's the manly thing to do. They also teach them other bad things about manhood.
Men continue to lie, however, after a women enables him (ie. takes him back, ignores her intuition, ignores the problem).

Well said!

 

[cocoberry10]

I didn't believe it until my fiance told me some of the things he was taught by his father, older brother and friends.... It's learned! I never knew that.

I agree with this. But what about the men that don’t have fathers and still end up like this? Or worse, the men who have fathers that aren’t dogs, but they turn out to be (my uncle is a good example of this). My grandfather NEVER cheated on my grandmother. Believe me, my grandfather was a royal pain in the arse in many other ways (gambling, not wanting my grandmother to become too successful, etc.). But he never stepped out on his wife, and tried to teach his sons to be the same. Needless to say, one turned out to be a DOOOOOOOOOOG! I can’t figure it out. Even other men look at him and think he’s disgusting (and they laugh at him). You know he has to be bad if this is happening. It was my grandfather’s dying wish that his son would change his ways, but unfortunately, it didn’t happen before he died.

 

[cocoberry10]

The problem is, they shoot themselves in the foot. If they would date honestly, they would be able to date more than one woman if they were up front about their actions. Competition makes people work harder.

Not every woman dates one man and says, that's it you are the one! If men and women, simply dated many people and not limitied themselves then they would choose better when it came to finding that special one.
When I say this I mean going out with people, not jumping in bed with them.

I think that the men who lie about seeing other people are the ones who simply intend to try and sleep with every woman they can get. Otherwise why lie? No smart woman who has it going on, and really cares about herself would willingly fall for a man-whore. This is how they trap decent, often church going, God fearing women. Yes, I unfortunately I had to go there

Softresses

And I am so glad you did!

 

[cocoberry10]

That is how honest, caring women who are looking for a relationship get hurt.

Yes, I also know too many women like this!

 

[Caramela]

I agree with this. But what about the men that don’t have fathers and still end up like this? Or worse, the men who have fathers that aren’t dogs, but they turn out to be.

They learn it from their homeboys. They think lying and sleeping with a billion women makes them a real man.

 

[envybeauty]

I agree with this. But what about the men that don’t have fathers and still end up like this? Or worse, the men who have fathers that aren’t dogs, but they turn out to be (my uncle is a good example of this). My grandfather NEVER cheated on my grandmother. Believe me, my grandfather was a royal pain in the arse in many other ways (gambling, not wanting my grandmother to become too successful, etc.). But he never stepped out on his wife, and tried to teach his sons to be the same. Needless to say, one turned out to be a DOOOOOOOOOOG! I can’t figure it out. Even other men look at him and think he’s disgusting (and they laugh at him). You know he has to be bad if this is happening. It was my grandfather’s dying wish that his son would change his ways, but unfortunately, it didn’t happen before he died.

Men lie because they can and they get away with it without consequences from EITHER other men or women. They lie, the woman finds out about the lie, she glosses over it, she accepts him back into her life without penalty, and he feels there is nothing to him lying because he got caught with no consequences.

 

[Shimmie]

Because we 'let' them. It's true.

It begins when they first try it and get away with it. The woman they lied to 'allowed' it or pretended that it didn't happen just to avoid 'drama' or whatever else (fear of losing him...) or she is 'afraid' of the truth and puts herself in denial.

The trend begins and continues. By nature, a man will 'try' a woman just to see how far he can go. But like a puppy, we have to draw a line and let him know that we are 'aware' and let him know we expect the truth from him no matter what it is.

So when they 'lie' we roll up a newspaper and say, "Uh-Uh" Tell me the truth or else....

 

[cocoberry10]

Because we 'let' them. It's true.

It begins when they first try it and get away with it. The woman they lied to 'allowed' it or pretended that it didn't happen just to avoid 'drama' or whatever else (fear of losing him...) or she is 'afraid' of the truth and puts herself in denial.

The trend begins and continues. By nature, a man will 'try' a woman just to see how far he can go. But like a puppy, we have to draw a line and let him know that we are 'aware' and let him know we expect the truth from him no matter what it is.

So when they 'lie' we roll up a newspaper and say, "Uh-Uh" Tell me the truth or else....

Oooh, this is very well said! I totally agree.

 

[cocoberry10]

Men lie because they can and they get away with it without consequences from EITHER other men or women. They lie, the woman finds out about the lie, she glosses over it, she accepts him back into her life without penalty, and he feels there is nothing to him lying because he got caught with no consequences.