Why do most couples who cohabitat end up in divorce?

[LocksOfLuV]

Me and my boyfriend live together and have lived together for a year. Maybe I should move out

I wouldn't say all of that, but all I am saying is I hope you and him BOTH know each oher's marriage goals, including time spans.

 

[SweetCaramel1]

]I cannot STAND a person who uses the 'it's just a peice of paper" excuse.[/B] I mean seriously, if it were just a damn peice of paper then why not do it? They almost always look like this -> when I say that to them. Stop trying to justify a man not wanting to marry you!

cosigning. that usually comes from people who have no desire to get married

 

[Browndilocks]

Do anyone think it is the "relaxing" phenomenon?

I see it all the time. I think (my personal opinions here) that people only cohabitate to let the other mate know how good of a wife/husband they will be. They rub his back, cook him dinner ( I am using women for this example), fold his clothes all of that in hopes of getting a point across-show him they will be a good wife and married. Then bam, they get married (most don't even make it to this point), and she let's go and start 'relaxing.' For she "already has him now" so there is no need to "try" anymore. I think this goes far deeper then the small things such as cooking but it can go to the bigger things such as communication and even just trying to keep up the marriage.

Yall feel me?

I feel you but WHY?? WHY DO MEN DO THAT????? I know too many women who spend years with a man, only to break up with him, then his trife behind goes out and marry someone else in record speed. Is it that the previous women use all of her energy and time "training" him for another woman? That trips me out. I hope to God it doesn't happen to me.

 

[akeli]

A few years back, I was having an older gentleman do some work on my house so that I could rent it and move out with my bf. I mentioned this in passing, and he told me how he had been married twice. The first wife he lived with for a few years and then got married, the second wife he did not live with but married her later on.

He felt that living with someone before marriage was a bad idea because moving in together requires major adjusments/stress on the relationship, and then getting married puts the relationship through a second major adjustment/stress. Which is just too much for most couples to handle.

He felt that getting married without the benefit of cohabbing was much less stressful. Long story short, I did not move in with the bf.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I feel you but WHY?? WHY DO MEN DO THAT????? I know too many women who spend years with a man, only to break up with him, then his trife behind goes out and marry someone else in record speed. Is it that the previous women use all of her energy and time "training" him for another woman? That trips me out. I hope to God it doesn't happen to me.

Maybe his goal all along was to get married, JUST NOT TO YOU (not you you, but generally speaking)!! We women need to make sure the man we are with are on the same track as us and WITH WITH and did I saw WITH us.

Now why would he stay if he know he doesn't want to marry you? Because he triflin and anybody getting anything for free ring free will stay. He know he can get all the lovin he wants and is not guaranteed a thang!

 

[gymfreak336]

I wouldn't say all of that, but all I am saying is I hope you and him BOTH know each oher's marriage goals, including time spans.

We do. For starters we started living together because we were always with each other. We figured we are both students and we wanted to save money on our expenses. As far as our personal expectations of our relationship, we are pretty open. I was raised by a mother who stayed at home with us and cooked, cleaned and whatnot and my father worked. My mother went back to get her phd when I was in highschool and she has worked ever since. His parents married young and split up shorty after he was born. He had daily contact with his mother and father when he was growing up and his parents got back together when he was going to highschool. I like to cook and clean and decorate and whatnot so thats what I do. He takes out the trash and cleans the dishes when I cook. Most of the daily responsiblites are split evenly. We don't write out a list of who does what, we just do it. He will finish school in about a year and I have atleast another 2 to go. As far as marriage expectations, I have already told him that I am not following a man all across the US. He understands that. When I finish school, I do plan on moving. There are alot of places I want to see and live for awhile I do intend on doing so. It will be up to him if I move to Texas just because I want to see whats there of if I move to New York to be with my husband.

 

[pretty_nappy_hair]

Do anyone think it is the "relaxing" phenomenon?

I see it all the time. I think (my personal opinions here) that people only cohabitate to let the other mate know how good of a wife/husband they will be. They rub his back, cook him dinner ( I am using women for this example), fold his clothes all of that in hopes of getting a point across-show him they will be a good wife and married. Then bam, they get married (most don't even make it to this point), and she let's go and start 'relaxing.' For she "already has him now" so there is no need to "try" anymore. I think this goes far deeper then the small things such as cooking but it can go to the bigger things such as communication and even just trying to keep up the marriage.

Yall feel me?

I don't think that's it. It seems the getting comfortable happens long before the walk down the isle. I kind of agree with the opinion that if you're JUST living together than it's easier to leave and the drastic switch from that to lock down can be too much to bear.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

We do. For starters we started living together because we were always with each other. We figured we are both students and we wanted to save money on our expenses. As far as our personal expectations of our relationship, we are pretty open. I was raised by a mother who stayed at home with us and cooked, cleaned and whatnot and my father worked. My mother went back to get her phd when I was in highschool and she has worked ever since. His parents married young and split up shorty after he was born. He had daily contact with his mother and father when he was growing up and his parents got back together when he was going to highschool. I like to cook and clean and decorate and whatnot so thats what I do. He takes out the trash and cleans the dishes when I cook. Most of the daily responsiblites are split evenly. We don't write out a list of who does what, we just do it. He will finish school in about a year and I have atleast another 2 to go. As far as marriage expectations, I have already told him that I am not following a man all across the US. He understands that. When I finish school, I do plan on moving. There are alot of places I want to see and live for awhile I do intend on doing so. It will be up to him if I move to Texas just because I want to see whats there of if I move to New York to be with my husband.

That's fine and all, but have you let HIM tell you what HIS marriage wants are? Have you made sure that he not only agrees with you that he WANTS to comply to you? Because agreeing is one thing bu complying is another. Sorry if this is coming off as advice, you didn't ask for advice, unless you are open to advice...

 

[MochaSilk]

My cousin said this exact same thing. So did one of my best friends, my old roommate, my aunt and my co-worker. None of them got married. I think women set themselves up for failure if they try to convince themselves that living with a man to "see if it works" is actually a smart thing to do.

I've had sooooo many friends "audition" their man this way, and none of them are married. One is still living with hers after 9 years and still waiting for that ring. It's only the rarest of rare occasions that a man will jump that broom after that long.

To flip the script: I've also seen women whose man doesn't necessarily want to get married but she convinces him to live with her and she'll "audition" for him, showing how good a wife she'll be - dang near turning into his momma. Once they get papers on the man, the mask comes off, and all hell breaks loose. Could be another reason.

Hubby and I lived together before marriage. Neither of us wanted to "play house." We both agreed we were in it for the long haul. Shortly after that we were engaged, had an engagement ceremony, a year later we were married. Nothing's changed in terms of what we expect from each other, the expectations we had as bf/gf were based on us as a lifelong couple. We were both ready to commit to one another.

 

[gymfreak336]

That's fine and all, but have you let HIM tell you what HIS marriage wants are? Have you made sure that he not only agrees with you that he WANTS to comply to you? Because agreeing is one thing bu complying is another. Sorry if this is coming off as advice, you didn't ask for advice, unless you are open to advice...

I am always looking for good advice especially when it comes to this because we have talked about this satistic before. I believe we are on the same page. To be sure though, I am going to ask him your exact questions tonight and respond. Then you can give me more of your excellent advice.

 

[NoNapNique]

I feel you but WHY?? WHY DO MEN DO THAT????? I know too many women who spend years with a man, only to break up with him, then his trife behind goes out and marry someone else in record speed. Is it that the previous women use all of her energy and time "training" him for another woman? That trips me out. I hope to God it doesn't happen to me.

Nope. Not that at all. They do it because all the time they were with you, they were yearning for the woman who is "easier to be with". Let me explain...

"Easier" in two ways:

#1 He respects you, knows you're a good woman and knows you will be a good wife, but he also knows you have very defined limits, and you will set him straight "quick-fast-and-in-a hurry"... So once you finally get tired of his mess and kick him to the curb (since men rarely initiate leaving a relationship to avoid being the bad guy when they already ARE for screwing up the relationship - CHUMPS!), he is now free to find someone else - and trust me she will be similar to you - but less likely to call him to the carpet on his mess.

#2 What I call the "dog doo theory".... He's made SOOO many mistakes over the years and you taken him back so many times... that he now feels he needs a nice, fresh, clean slate to mess on. Lo and behold he meets his next victim who thinks he's god's gift to the world and is none the wiser to all his dirt... He doesn't have to "make up" for anything with her... Hence, he falls for her because she sees him as a god -versus you, who knows better and is already hip to all his shortcomings, lies, and games - Voila! Instant wedding bells for him and Ms. New Booty.

If it ever happens to you (knock on wood it doesn't , always know it's HIS problem not yours... And trust me it is only a matter of time before he is back to his old tricks with Mrs. New Booty. Unfortunately, I know all of this from experience - and it was also straight from the horse's mouth... Who AMAZINGLY tried to come crawling back to me after LEAVING me to run off and marry someone else 10 years ago!

 

[calliope]

Do anyone think it is the "relaxing" phenomenon?

I see it all the time. I think (my personal opinions here) that people only cohabitate to let the other mate know how good of a wife/husband they will be. They rub his back, cook him dinner ( I am using women for this example), fold his clothes all of that in hopes of getting a point across-show him they will be a good wife and married. Then bam, they get married (most don't even make it to this point), and she let's go and start 'relaxing.' For she "already has him now" so there is no need to "try" anymore. I think this goes far deeper then the small things such as cooking but it can go to the bigger things such as communication and even just trying to keep up the marriage.

Yall feel me?

I think that this is the reason exactly. Once you're married, you no longer feel the need to keep up a charade (if that's what you're doing in cohabitation) or to be on your best behavior, look sexy, keep the house perfect, etc. You can let it all hang out. Plus, I think that children usually come after marriage and that can be just one more difficult factor that wasn't there while living together.

 

[Bunny77]

I feel you but WHY?? WHY DO MEN DO THAT????? I know too many women who spend years with a man, only to break up with him, then his trife behind goes out and marry someone else in record speed. Is it that the previous women use all of her energy and time "training" him for another woman? That trips me out. I hope to God it doesn't happen to me.

Here's what I've discovered by watching some female family members go through this and my own experience being approached by men in on-again/off-again relationships.

It is up to us as women to determine the direction of our relationships with men. Many times, men may have figured out from jump that a certain woman is not who they want to marry, but they stay with her anyway because it's easy... he's getting his needs met and she ain't goin' nowhere, so why bother marrying her?

But eventually, when these relationships break up, these men meet another woman who isn't playing that. If he knows that she's the woman that he wants, he will ante up because he knows he will miss out and therefore rises to the challenge.

The women who these men marry have usually set a standard early, while the ones who are strung along for years don't do the same, or do it too late.

I was turned off when I met a man who said he'd been dating this woman for a while, but knew he didn't want to marry her because she had a child and she was overweight. Now, that's his preference and that's all well and good... but if he knows how he feels, why is he stringing this woman along?

I wonder if this woman had a clue that this man was saying such things about her to some random woman (me) that he JUST MET! And I bet she was still sitting at home hoping that he'd finally come around, come to his senses and marry her!

BTW, they weren't living together, but this is just an example I'm using to answer the question posed... and this man's statements turned me off so that was our last date!

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I am always looking for good advice especially when it comes to this because we have talked about this satistic before. I believe we are on the same page. To be sure though, I am going to ask him your exact questions tonight and respond. Then you can give me more of your excellent advice.

Make sure when you ask him you are not eluding to an answer rather simply asking. Let him talk FIRST so you aren't contaminating his answer or he isn't answering what you wanna hear. Or you can start out with a question like "where do you see us in __ years?"

 

[MochaSilk]

I think that this is the reason exactly. Once you're married, you no longer feel the need to keep up a charade (if that's what you're doing in cohabitation) or to be on your best behavior, look sexy, keep the house perfect, etc. You can let it all hang out.Plus, I think that children usually come after marriage and that can be just one more difficult factor that wasn't there while living together.

Co-signin'... there was no charade when we were living together. While we were friends & dating, we both told each other, "I like how you live." It was the truth.

He, like me, had a s.o. do the "audition" in his last relationship and he told me he was concerned about it. I told him the truth, "I get paid to perform. When I'm at home, I'm at home." He got to see me in all my natural glory, et vice versa.

We both made little adjustments when we lived together, but other than that, our lifestyles were compatible. We were both polite to each other ("please", "thank you") and respected our own belongings, space, alone time and we haven't changed. We treated each other like we'd treat our relatives... now we are relatives.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Here's what I've discovered by watching some female family members go through this and my own experience being approached by men in on-again/off-again relationships.

It is up to us as women to determine the direction of our relationships with men. Many times, men may have figured out from jump that a certain woman is not who they want to marry, but they stay with her anyway because it's easy... he's getting his needs met and she ain't goin' nowhere, so why bother marrying her?

But eventually, when these relationships break up, these men meet another woman who isn't playing that. If he knows that she's the woman that he wants, he will ante up because he knows he will miss out and therefore rises to the challenge.

The women who these men marry have usually set a standard early, while the ones who are strung along for years don't do the same, or do it too late.

I was turned off when I met a man who said he'd been dating this woman for a while, but knew he didn't want to marry her because she had a child and she was overweight. Now, that's his preference and that's all well and good... but if he knows how he feels, why is he stringing this woman along?

I wonder if this woman had a clue that this man was saying such things about her to some random woman (me) that he JUST MET! And I bet she was still sitting at home hoping that he'd finally come around, come to his senses and marry her!

BTW, they weren't living together, but this is just an example I'm using to answer the question posed... and this man's statements turned me off so that was our last date!

yes yes yes! our only problem is not knowing his expectations.

 

[NoNapNique]

The women who these men marry have usually set a standard early, while the ones who are strung along for years don't do the same, or do it too late.

I agree with this theory too... but I also know men... They ante up to "win" the "newer, better woman" (the ego-driven, competitive little animals they are). But not for long, because after a certain age in general, humans don't very change much from *who* they've become, or who their experiences have made them.

 

[MochaSilk]

It is up to us as women to determine the direction of our relationships with men. Many times, men may have figured out from jump that a certain woman is not who they want to marry... My dad, brother, uncle, husband, and his best friend have ALL confirmed this.

But eventually, when these relationships break up, these men meet another woman who isn't playing that. I am proudly one of those women. If he knows that she's the woman that he wants, he will ante up because he knows he will miss out and therefore rises to the challenge. My dad, brother, uncle, husband, and his best friend have ALL confirmed this as well.

The women who these men marry have usually set a standard early...

Yes, ma'am. It wasn't a "laying down the law" kinda attitude, but there was no question about what my standards were. I liked that my hubby did the same thing - set his standards. Luckily, they were the same.

 

[Ayeshia]

Wow you ladie sure have helped me out and then some thank you all for the replies. This thread further reinforces the idea that I dont wanna shack up anytime soon unless there are these big plans underway. I guess from watching all of these court shows and seeing how happy my grandmother is living alone, it never really gave me the desire to want to have a live in boyfriend. Im one of those people who always thinks the worse will happen to them, and in this case it's good to think like that.

 

[gymfreak336]

I think that this is the reason exactly. Once you're married, you no longer feel the need to keep up a charade (if that's what you're doing in cohabitation) or to be on your best behavior, look sexy, keep the house perfect, etc. You can let it all hang out. Plus, I think that children usually come after marriage and that can be just one more difficult factor that wasn't there while living together.

I'm doing that now

 

[Bunny77]

Yes, ma'am. It wasn't a "laying down the law" kinda attitude, but there was no question about what my standards were. I liked that my hubby did the same thing - set his standards. Luckily, they were the same.

Right! It's not that we have to say on the first date, "I expect to be married within X period of time or else..." but there's just a way of making your expectations known without saying a word.

And you also bring up a good point about your male relatives... Ladies, LISTEN to the men in your lives who have sense and also observe the behavior of the knucklehead male relatives to see what you DON'T want to do. My daddy gave me some great advice that I still remember to this day... it's very basic, but he said...

"Men tell you who they are at the beginning. They don't hide it and you don't have to be a detective to figure him out. Just pay attention to what he says and how he acts in the beginning and you'll KNOW what type of man you're dealing with!"

And he's been right. If I have made mistakes in my selection, I realize that it's because I ignored the signs that were right in front of me because I wanted to "give them a chance."

Anyway, I am getting off-topic, but your bolded replies made me think of this.

 

[Bunny77]

I agree with this theory too... but I also know men... They ante up to "win" the "newer, better woman" (the ego-driven, competitive little animals they are). But not for long, because after a certain age in general, humans don't very change much from *who* they've become, or who their experiences have made them.

I think this has to do with something else we discussed on the board called the Timing Theory. Something seems to snap in some men at a certain age/point in life in which they realize that it's time for them to settle down... so Miss Perfect might have been in their lives at some point, but because the men simply weren't ready, they passed her by. When they decide they're ready, Miss Average could walk along and he'll pick her simply because they've decided it's time.

We as women just have to pay attention to the cues men are giving off so we can figure out if we're wasting our time and need to move on.

 

[MochaSilk]

Right! It's not that we have to say on the first date, "I expect to be married within X period of time or else..." but there's just a way of making your expectations known without saying a word. Hubby & I talked about this thread a little while ago, and he told me he just knew I didn't play that. I never announced that in the beginning. I asked him how he just "knew." He said that when he attempted to go into his "playa" mode, I would raise an eyebrow, and say I had something to do early the next day and go home. I did that 3 times. Once I even asked him, "does that normally work on women?"

And you also bring up a good point about your male relatives... Ladies, LISTEN to the men in your lives who have sense and also observe the behavior of the knucklehead male relatives to see what you DON'T want to do. My daddy gave me some great advice that I still remember to this day... it's very basic, but he said...

"Men tell you who they are at the beginning. They don't hide it and you don't have to be a detective to figure him out. Just pay attention to what he says and how he acts in the beginning and you'll KNOW what type of man you're dealing with!" My mom, dad, and nana told me this at a young age.

And he's been right. If I have made mistakes in my selection, I realize that it's because I ignored the signs that were right in front of me because I wanted to "give them a chance." You got a witness, here!! THAT taught me to own up to my part in past relationships that failed. When I would wail & ask, "why'd he do that to me?" my family would pipe in, "Because you let him." Can't say too much after that.

Anyway, I am getting off-topic, but your bolded replies made me think of this.

I hope it's not TOO off-topic, Ayeshia. Maybe this sidebar will help to see what conditions made co-habitation work?

 

[Sweetyb]

Wow you ladie sure have helped me out and then some thank you all for the replies. This thread further reinforces the idea that I dont wanna shack up anytime soon unless there are these big plans underway. I guess from watching all of these court shows and seeing how happy my grandmother is living alone, it never really gave me the desire to want to have a live in boyfriend. Im one of those people who always thinks the worse will happen to them, and in this case it's good to think like that.

Not that it's a bad thing to think that, it's just looking out for #1 (you). I've lived w/an ex b/4 and I think of the time I wasted with him. It's not worth it girl, but it was needed for the situation I was in at that time. But to get up and choose to live w/a bf "just because"? Never. You're worth it (to him) when he says he wants to marry you. You're worth it when he's so confident about you that he wants to commit himself to you before subjecting yourself to live with him. It's shows respect when a man knows what he has in front of him. Only a looser who isn't even man enough would try to milk the cow for free... and he'll do only what YOU let him do.

 

[FlowerHair]

A few years ago when I was looking for a church to hold my wedding ceremony, I actually had a church pastor recite the same statistics to me over the phone, then go on to say he could not officiate my ceremony because we lived together...

Why you ask? Probably because people who make a deliberate decision to live seperately do so out a a certain conviction (religious or personal)... It's that same conviction/motivation that makes them "stick it out" even in extreme marital situations. People who live together before marriage mostly don't care what others think, so when it comes time to call it quits - they do.

That said, I think it's important for people to know that just because a couple chooses not to live together does not mean they don't have the same level of difficulty and problems in their marriage, the only difference is that they won't call it quits as easily.

That is my opinion as well. Just as arranged marriages mostly last until death do them part, people who abstain from co-habitating before marriage also have certain beliefs that will make the marriage more long lasting.

People like me, who co-habitate, feel differently and I would rather divorce than stay in an unhappy marriage. Just because a marriage has lasted 40+ years doesn't mean that it's a happy one.

 

[BlkManWithSomeSense]

Here's what I've discovered by watching some female family members go through this and my own experience being approached by men in on-again/off-again relationships.

It is up to us as women to determine the direction of our relationships with men. Many times, men may have figured out from jump that a certain woman is not who they want to marry, but they stay with her anyway because it's easy... he's getting his needs met and she ain't goin' nowhere, so why bother marrying her?

But eventually, when these relationships break up, these men meet another woman who isn't playing that. If he knows that she's the woman that he wants, he will ante up because he knows he will miss out and therefore rises to the challenge.

The women who these men marry have usually set a standard early, while the ones who are strung along for years don't do the same, or do it too late.

I was turned off when I met a man who said he'd been dating this woman for a while, but knew he didn't want to marry her because she had a child and she was overweight. Now, that's his preference and that's all well and good... but if he knows how he feels, why is he stringing this woman along?

I wonder if this woman had a clue that this man was saying such things about her to some random woman (me) that he JUST MET! And I bet she was still sitting at home hoping that he'd finally come around, come to his senses and marry her!

BTW, they weren't living together, but this is just an example I'm using to answer the question posed... and this man's statements turned me off so that was our last date!

ITA Well said.

 

[BlkManWithSomeSense]

What a great question! I asked a friend of mine who divorced her husband a few years after they had lived together for 6 years this queston.

She said everything was fine as cohabitants but after they married it went downhill because they adjusted badly to being married. After 6 months, he started complaining of being smothered and pressured because he said people 'looked' at him differently and she admitted that her expectations of him changed somewhat, thinking there were certain things he would no longer do because he now had a wife at home. She thinks that perhaps the way they went about getting married was another reason things didnt work out. Because they had been together already for 6 years, reffering to each other as 'wifey' and hubby', they just looked at marriage as a mere formality. They had a courthouse wedding, no invitees, no honeymoon and went back to work the same day.

Lastly, not having an easy way out also hurt things. She said when they would have problems and spoke to friends for advice, they changed from previously saying things like 'dont worry, it'll work out' to ' thats your husband, ya'll MUST work it out'. Soon after, they called it quits. She says he just seemed to work her nerve all the time and he said she had changed. They dont talk much today. I asked if she would ever think about getting married again and she said yes, but she would approach it differently next time, perhaps some marital counseling and definately no shacking up.

Hope this helps.

 

[Evolving78]

I've only seen this through friends of mine, so bear with me. I believe people become overwhelmed because they are no long'playing house'. After being legally married, they really become responsible for their spouse. They can't just walk away at any time, they must answer for thier comings and goings, etc. The fantasy of married life is wonderful, but unlike what people say, that piece of paper does change things. Maybe not the physical location, but the mindset yes.

ETA: When living together without marriage, there is always an easy 'out'. You no longer like the person, you can just walk away. Sex is bad, just walk away. For a lot of couples, marriage trips the proverbial 'switch' and they realize the enormity of it all. Some, like my husband and I, thrive on it and embrace it. Others may find it far to suffocating, restrictive, and/or demanding and bail via divorce.

I totally agree with you. My husband and I lived together before we got married and trying to get rid of that single mentality is the hardest. Now we have to combine our money together, we have to worry about have all types of insurance, and we can't just make decisions without talking it over first. it just goes on and on. Before I could still do what I wanted to do because even though we lived together, I didn't act like his wife, I acted like his girlfriend that could easily put him out or take over things if I didn't like how he was handling them.

 

[Evolving78]

I've only seen this through friends of mine, so bear with me. I believe people become overwhelmed because they are no long'playing house'. After being legally married, they really become responsible for their spouse. They can't just walk away at any time, they must answer for thier comings and goings, etc. The fantasy of married life is wonderful, but unlike what people say, that piece of paper does change things. Maybe not the physical location, but the mindset yes.

ETA: When living together without marriage, there is always an easy 'out'. You no longer like the person, you can just walk away. Sex is bad, just walk away. For a lot of couples, marriage trips the proverbial 'switch' and they realize the enormity of it all. Some, like my husband and I, thrive on it and embrace it. Others may find it far to suffocating, restrictive, and/or demanding and bail via divorce.

I totally agree with you. My husband and I lived together before we got married and trying to get rid of that single mentality is the hardest. Now we have to combine our money together, we have to worry about have all types of insurance, and we can't just make decisions without talking it over first. it just goes on and on. Before I could still do what I wanted to do because even though we lived together, I didn't act like his wife, I acted like his girlfriend that could easily put him out or take over things if I didn't like how he was handling them.I love my husband and I'm not going anywhere, but I wouldn't recomend people living together first. You need to leave what you had behind and start a new with you spouse. Before my husband felt that his mother came before me and then that had to change when we got married. She has not been too happy with that one.[/QUOTE]

 

[Starian]

My parents said it's because there is nothing to look forward to. Once married, you've already had sex, already been picking up his dirty drawers, already been cooking for him, etc...

So the thrill is gone. I don't kow if I agree with this. My parents played house for 12 years, and had a kid and they've been married 24 years. *shrug*

I really think it depends on the maturity and willingness to make it work of the individual.