Why Do I Relax....?

[LivingDol1]

So, I've been home for the holidays(week and a half), and I'm without my rollers and massive stand up hair dryer. So if I can't book a hair appt, I just blow dry my own hair. Yesterday, I washed my hair and the weather was such crap that I didn't feel like blowing it out, so I did my best detangling that I could and wore a big bun.

I went to a NYE party and my friend gave me a compliment on rocking a "natural bun". I told her my hair was relaxed but it always dries curly unless I use rollers or a blow dryer. My hair looks like 3C curls when it's wet.

My friend is natural and was wearing her hair straight. She had it done professionally and i would have never guessed it was natural. her hair held up perfectly all night.

So I wonder... why do i relax my hair? if I'm always going to have to deal with reversion in humid or hot weather... and i'm always going to have to spend hours making my hair straight? and 90% of the time, I wear it in a protective style? and it's curly when wet anyway?

I like the look of my relaxed curls when I do a wet bun. I've been getting relaxers since October 2008. I can't remember what my natural hair did b/c i always wore braids but i do remember it was a B**** to comb in between braiding...

I doubt that I'm ready to leave the dark side any time soon. I wear my hair straight 90% of the time, up or down.

Thoughts on why you relax your hair (or what made you transition to natural) are welcome and encouraged.

 

[Yen Oak]

Girl, don't see it as "the dark side"...simply a choice you're making at this point in your life.

Me, I can't style my relaxed hair for anything...plus, I workout 5 days a week...plus, I don't want to be a slave to a stylist anymore. All of those reasons were enough for me to step away from the applicator brush LOL.

I'm sure others will chime in. However, when it's all said and done...it's your hair, your decision.

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

Hi "Living." I'm new to the group, but I would like to answer your question.

I'm natural, but one of the reasons why i stopped relaxing was for one of the reasons you said:

"So I wonder... why do i relax my hair? if I'm always going to have to deal with reversion in humid or hot weather... and i'm always going to have to spend hours making my hair straight?"

That right there was killing me! Also for the fact whenever I relaxed I was getting dandruff. It didn't matter if it was a professional, boxed, super, or normal, dr. miracle, creme of nature, etc. All my dandruff stopped after I chopped.

You relax becauase you can. Hey, we all aren't going to have good hair days and our hair has a mind of its own anyway. It doesn't like to listen to anybody!

 

[PrincessLinzz]

Great thread...

Seven years ago I decided to transition to natural without the big chop because I realized relaxers just didn't work for me. They were convenient, but my hair kept breaking off and then I wanted to dye it but was scared in fear of the relaxer/dye combo. I have transitioned twice in my life, once as a teenager and my hair grew soooo long and then I relaxed it and it broke off. Then let the relaxer grow out and then my hair grew back. Like a dummy I did it again this time with a kiddie perm and same breakage.

It was determined, natural it is...
And now I like wearing my hair curly/wavy and sometimes blown straight (never flat iron, but you guys make me want a Maxiglide) and having the option to change it up.

However, I do think it is a preference and whether your natural or relaxed doesn't matter just as long as you baby and take care of your hair.

It is definitely whatever makes YOU and YOUR HAIR happy!

 

[ceebee3]

I asked myself that same question and I couldn't find an answer so I just stopped relaxing.

I guess that turned into a transition. I like my relaxed hair but I like my natural hair too. I'll keep my flat irons handy when I want straight hair.

 

[Ms. Feliz]

right now I relax because I feel like a transition would take forever..I know it sounds kind of stupid.. but I don't know. I also like not having to worry about my hair reverting after I straighten it.

 

[LivingDol1]

right now I relax because I feel like a transition would take forever..I know it sounds kind of stupid.. but I don't know. I also like not having to worry about my hair reverting after I straighten it.

it doesn't sound stupid. a transiton would take forever! especially if you were to just grow out the relaxer. i am not a BC kinda gal. I like my hair long and i will never see it cut short in a billion years. that's maybe also why i still relax.... my natural hair curly(i'm having flashbacks) had a lot of shrinkage. i am not comfy wearing my hair up above my shoulders unless i'm wearing an updo. i never wore it out when it was natural because i wore braids. i saw my hair once every 3 months. lol.

 

[Ms. Feliz]

it doesn't sound stupid. a transiton would take forever! especially if you were to just grow out the relaxer. i am not a BC kinda gal. I like my hair long and i will never see it cut short in a billion years. that's maybe also why i still relax.... my natural hair curly(i'm having flashbacks) had a lot of shrinkage. i am not comfy wearing my hair up above my shoulders unless i'm wearing an updo. i never wore it out when it was natural because i wore braids. i saw my hair once every 3 months. lol.

that's another reason why I haven't decided to transition..because I would NEVER cut my hair. but i'm afraid it would break off once the natural hair starts getting longer.

 

[Dani.Nicole]

I relax because that's all I know...I didn't really grasp the concept of a relaxer until like the 8th or 9th grade. I just knew my mom put this white stuff in my hair. Didn't know what it was or that it was the reason my hair was straight. I never paid attention to my hair so I don't remember it in it's natural state. Once my mom stopped relaxing my hair sent to the hair salon instead when I was 10, she would be one to decide when I needed to get my next relaxer. It was just the norm for me.

It's so sad. I honestly didn't know why my hair couldn't get curly until I was in the 10th grade. I didn't know you couldn't reverse the straightness. I didn't hear the word "natural" until I found this board when I was 17 or transitioning for that matter.

I relax at the moment because I want my hair to grow out first. Going natural isn't my first priority, length is.

 

[LivingDol1]

I relax because that's all I know...I didn't really grasp the concept of a relaxer until like the 8th or 9th grade. I just knew my mom put this white stuff in my hair. Didn't know what it was or that it was the reason my hair was straight. I never paid attention to my hair so I don't remember it in it's natural state. Once my mom stopped relaxing my hair sent to the hair salon instead when I was 10, she would be one to decide when I needed to get my next relaxer. It was just the norm for me.

It's so sad. I honestly didn't know why my hair couldn't get curly until I was in the 10th grade. I didn't know you couldn't reverse the straightness. I didn't hear the word "natural" until I found this board when I was 17 or transitioning for that matter.

I relax at the moment because I want my hair to grow out first. Going natural isn't my first priority, length is.

same here. I had been getting a relaxer since I was 10 or 11.... so it's been the only way I knew.

I think now i have healthier hair b/c I'm deciding when to get a touch up and when to get a trim. going just based on what my mom had done for years kept my hair at the same length forever!

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I relaxed because I thought that's what black women did. You pressed your hair as a little girl, and then, when you grew up, you relaxed.

I'd always thought about my natural hair but never enough to do anything about it. Until my best friend went natural. I got up the courage to do it too, though I thought I had a different hair type than what I did.

You can still wear your hair straight a lot when you're natural. I'd originally planned to do that as well, until I fell in love with my hair.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

My reasons for relaxing are:
1. I almost always wear my hair straight. Relaxing is more conducive to that for me, because I can just rollerset it, and that'll be that. No blow-drying, no hot combing.
2. My hair and scalp are doing fine with relaxers. I'm not getting breakage or shedding (or not any that makes me worry), and thanks to protein and ceramides, my hair is supple and strong. I don't have dandruff, irritation, bald spots, scabs, or sores on my scalp. We're doing fine, so I don't see a reason to change. However, if I was noticing that my hair refused to retain length or that my scalp was acting crazy and nothing could help, then yes..it would be time to put down the relaxer.
3. I'm scared of shrinkage. When I reach goal length, I want it to be obvious. I can't imagine having waist length length hair that shrinks right on up to shoulder length. It'd drive me crazy. And my hair is in the 4's, so shrinkage would definitely be an issue.

My only problem with relaxing was the loss of thickness, and I did tell myself that if I wasn't satisfied with the thickness of my hair by my one year HHJ anniversary, then I'd try my hand at transitioning. But since I've stopped overlapping or relaxing bone straight and began stretching my relaxers, the thickness has been coming back and I don't think I'll have to go natural.

However, I probably would go natural if I were to have a daughter, because I won't be relaxing her hair, and I hate the "Do as I say, not as I do" style of parenting. And I do think that if she saw me loving and wearing my natural hair, then she would see the beauty in hers as well.
Or if I had a terrible salon mishap.

 

[WantNatural]

I relaxed because that was all that I knew to do. As another poster said, my hair was pressed when I was younger and then around the age of 12 I started getting relaxers. I always wanted the curly hair I saw in videos (back in the 80s) but didn't know how to achieve it. I always thought curly hair looked better on me but I always had to worry about my hair falling when I was relaxed and would wear a curly style. I was always curious about my natural texture but just didn't know what to do.

I'm 37 years old and it wasn't until May of 2009 when I was 36 that I learned how to go back to my natural hair. I too thought I would never BC. My hair was around APL and my husband loved the length. But around 6 months post I started thinking about BCing, which shocked me! And 12/20/09 at 8.5 months post I just did it! So now I'm rocking a short curly fro (around 4 inches, 2-3 inches with shrinkage!) and I have received soooo many compliments! People love my hair which really surprised me. I no longer look like everyone else, my hair stands out from relaxed heads and other naturals too, because our natural textures are so unique to ourselves. I'm so glad I made the decision to transition back to my natural hair. I only wish I had done it years ago.

So I look forward to growing out my hair. My hair is soooo thick and healthy right now. I know that my shoulder length straight hair will actually be chin length natural but I don't care. As long as I know how long my hair is what does it matter what everyone else thinks?

At the end of the day DO YOU!!! I do not anticipate ever relaxing again, and if I had a daughter I would not allow her to relax at all. I see the damage that relaxers cause but through this board I also see how much love and care for your hair can prevent and repair much of that damage. With the knowledge that you have, as long as you continue to take wonderful care of your hair it will be beautiful, regardless of the choice that you make! I wish you the best!

 

[Taina]

I never had a problem with relaxers, i don't have a bad history with them, i don't have a bad experience and i did not have an epiphany to stop relaxing my hair. As somebody said before, is just an option. I did it because nobody here in Mexico know how to handle relaxers and at that point i figure my hair will look bad (i'm serious they dont even know how to cut my hair in layers) so that's why i quit relaxers.

Now i'm love with my hair, is versatile and easy to manage yet ... but if you dont think you will feel confortable with natural hair, just dont do it because there is a lot of ladyes doing it, if you want to become natural someday, do it because you really want to.

 

[discodumpling]

I relaxed because I didn't know any better (different) I thought that my hair had to always be limp & lifeless, breaking etc..

My natural hair is infinitely more satisfying than my relaxed hair ever was!