~~HoneyComb~~
Well-Known Member
Seems like they need to be put in their place, responding when it's clear they don't have a chance, and it's clear that they are not what you're looking for.
Why are only old men interested in me?
- Thread starter inthepink
- Start date
Seems like they need to be put in their place, responding when it's clear they don't have a chance, and it's clear that they are not what you're looking for.
Carrie A
Well-Known Member
Oh dear. Yeah I think they are just getting kicks out of flirting with young girls. I can imaging how annoying that must be. The only way to stop that unfortunately is to get older
. I feel you though. I'm 36 and just beginning to pay attention to this interesting dynamic.
Bunny77
New Member
Thank you! I'm a writer by profession, so I guess it's just all a part of the job!
I like what Smuckie_Slick said about using the law of attraction to focus on what you truly want!I always laugh when I hear younger women talking about how much older men "appreciate" them and aren't intimidated by the fact that they have an education, a home, car, etc.... they say how older men "get it," while men their age don't...
I turn to them and say, "Well OF COURSE they appreciate it after they've already run through a bunch of women, maybe have a kid or two and NOW they think they're entitled to a young chick!"
I'm just saying... before these women big up these men for being sooooo mature and soooo appreciative of them and their accomplishments, they need to look at the bigger picture.
There have been studies on male and female behavior on online dating sites. Very few men actually read the profiles... they just see a picture and if they like it, they'll contact you.
I don't even know how I'd do that. I've seen some people say things in their profile like "If you are <insert item>, please do not respond." It just kind of doesn't sit too well with me. I don't know.
I KNOW you are right on this. Because if they read the profile or preferences, they would know.
I get so frustrated when I specifically request a Christian in my profile and get men who are obviously not. I'm thinking - did you read it and just not care? Or did you not read it at all?
So, in that case, then what?
ccd
New Member
I think it also has to do with biology/social tendancies.....Most men want to date a younger women, they don't have the pressure of moving the relationship in certain aspects that way..
28-36 these men are most likely dating younger women, until they get tired of it, mentally want more, find the right one and are ready to get married
28-36 year old women are more likely to have been dating someone " there own age in college", found them in life, ect, etc and if you are single....in your early 20's you are more likely and able to find "your own age", but by 30 as a women...I have found, the "older men" have a radar.....It's almost like they know you are at the age....and are ready to settle down... AND the guys your own age know this too, and either they are comfortable with it or they go the other way ( not saying this is always the case but just more likely so.)
I'm not trying to be mean but, by 30....the guys that turn 30, are most likely looking the other way if they haven't gotten married yet ( this is probable why they haven't married..... they aren't ready yet) You have to be comfortable with that aspect...it hurts, yes, but once you get past the hurt,...you will be more open to love and the mate that you are meant to be with.
What if your soul mate is older than you...... you have to be open in all aspects IMHO.....
I'm in the same boat girl...however, I'm presently with someone who is younger than me.....He is a wonderful guy, attentive, has many attributes that I look for.... BUT! he is younger....He can wait another 10 years if he wants... Me ...not so much....
I look at it like this,..IT's a little unfair and prehaps cynical AND JMO......but women ( in some ways, i.e.for children) have an expiration date....not saying its fair, but this is the way things are sometimes.....Unless I hit the Lotto and can afford fertility drugs or start adopting the U.N of kids....there is an expiration date on my ETRevise Head ( don't want to offend) I'm aware of what dating a younger man means.... and I'm prepared to do what it takes to make myself happy.... even if it means walking away....
Dating an older man means different issues.......have to be prepared for those too. I've attracted 60 year old ( I attracted on very famous one who "digs" BW) Couldn't do it though for the age factor and other important reasons I'll refrain from discussing
....I was maybe 27-28 at the time.
All that to say, I have been in your shoes, wanting "This and That"..... Think about what you want and Go for it but also be open for other options.....and know and be able to deal with the "issues" that go along with both.
28-36 these men are most likely dating younger women, until they get tired of it, mentally want more, find the right one and are ready to get married
28-36 year old women are more likely to have been dating someone " there own age in college", found them in life, ect, etc and if you are single....in your early 20's you are more likely and able to find "your own age", but by 30 as a women...I have found, the "older men" have a radar.....It's almost like they know you are at the age....and are ready to settle down... AND the guys your own age know this too, and either they are comfortable with it or they go the other way ( not saying this is always the case but just more likely so.)
I'm not trying to be mean but, by 30....the guys that turn 30, are most likely looking the other way if they haven't gotten married yet ( this is probable why they haven't married..... they aren't ready yet) You have to be comfortable with that aspect...it hurts, yes, but once you get past the hurt,...you will be more open to love and the mate that you are meant to be with.
What if your soul mate is older than you...... you have to be open in all aspects IMHO.....
I'm in the same boat girl...however, I'm presently with someone who is younger than me.....He is a wonderful guy, attentive, has many attributes that I look for.... BUT! he is younger....He can wait another 10 years if he wants... Me ...not so much....
I look at it like this,..IT's a little unfair and prehaps cynical AND JMO......but women ( in some ways, i.e.for children) have an expiration date....not saying its fair, but this is the way things are sometimes.....Unless I hit the Lotto and can afford fertility drugs or start adopting the U.N of kids....there is an expiration date on my ETRevise Head ( don't want to offend)
I'm aware of what dating a younger man means.... and I'm prepared to do what it takes to make myself happy.... even if it means walking away....Dating an older man means different issues.......have to be prepared for those too. I've attracted 60 year old ( I attracted on very famous one who "digs" BW) Couldn't do it though for the age factor and other important reasons I'll refrain from discussing
....I was maybe 27-28 at the time. All that to say, I have been in your shoes, wanting "This and That"..... Think about what you want and Go for it but also be open for other options.....and know and be able to deal with the "issues" that go along with both.
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Lylddlebit
Well-Known Member
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DragonPearl
Well-Known Member
I look at it like this,..IT's a little unfair and prehaps cynical AND JMO......but women ( in some ways, i.e.for children) have an expiration date....not saying its fair, but this is the way things are sometimes.....Unless I hit the Lotto and can afford fertility drugs or start adopting the U.N of kids....there is an expiration date on my ETRevise Head ( don't want to offend)
You know it, and men certainly know it too. That's why for men her age, 36 year old is not their first choice if they want to settle down and have a family. I don't care if she was a virgin at 36, she is not considered fresh meat or spring chicken by the male gender.
Ladies, yes we have an expiration date, that's why we hurry up and emotionally mature by the time we reach our 30s, we know we don't have much time left to procreate so we start getting serious. Men on the other hand...
I know this to be true. I don't like - but I do "know" it.
I guess my title asking why is more tongue-in-cheek. I know why. I just mean more to the universe - why!?
LBoogie
Well-Known Member
Seems like only men 45 and older are interested in me. Why? I look young for my age. Most people think I'm in my 20s (I'm 36), yet no one even cares to give me the time of day except old men. Why?
Anyone else have this problem? I am not interested in older men. Someone up to the age of 40 and they'd better be young looking. I just can't see myself with someone who looks old b/c I don't look old and nor do I feel old. I don't want to look like someone's daughter. I know it's not all about appearances but I hope you know what I mean. I want one near my age!
Uhm....you're 36...you ARE old.
Naw, I'm just kidding. But you would have been old as dirt in my mind 10 years ago. Funny how perspective changes.
Seriously, 45 isn't that much older than you.
LBoogie
Well-Known Member
That's an interesting take.
I have a friend in his mid 40's and he tells me that he and all his friends want to get the young girls or the sophisticated girls in their 30's who LOOK like they are in their 20's. He said it's a midlife crisis. I told him *********! (his friends are all married and want to trade their wives in - stank.) Just beware these older fools. They probably have a wife or live-in at the house.
DragonPearl
Well-Known Member
I know this to be true. I don't like - but I do "know" it.
I guess my title asking why is more tongue-in-cheek. I know why. I just mean more to the universe - why!?
I am not an ageist and I understand your reluctance to start a relationship with a man 45+ because if you do have children, he will be this 50+ year old man pushing baby carriages...
So if you're talking to the universe, if I were you I would ask for a man within my age bracket who will have energy and stamina to be a good father to the children you plan to have. As for those older men who are disregarding your age specifications, don't even bother replying to them. Bless them and wish them well and delete their messages from your inbox. Put out good feelings and positive energies, and it will get back to you either as a great mate who meets your age requirements, or as a great mate who doesn't, yet is so wonderful that age will not be an issue for you.
MissYocairis
Well-Known Member
This is it. Because, at the end of the day, when all the statistics and so forth are being hurled about and we lose confidence in our prospects because of our age...then it's time to shake all those restraints loose, let them flow away with the wind and go directly to the source.
We may have expiration dates, but there are plenty of people marrying later for the first time, having babies later, falling in love later. Love is love. When the man that was made for the OP comes along, he's not going to see her age as an expiration date. If they are seeing her expiration date, then they are not the right man.
You know the man who was made for you will only see his soul when he looks at you.
Almaz
New Member
I read a resport that women in their 20's are picky when it comes to men and women in their 40's are picky Women in their 20's are starting their lives so they can get the best men in their youth and women that are in their 40's have lived their lives and have a lot of experience their children are grown and growing and so having kids my not be a part of the picture. So they don't have to compromise.
I hated it when I was REALLY young like 15 back home and these men in their 30's up to their 70's would have my mother for my hand in marriage. My mother was like WHAT are you kidding you are old enough to BE DAMNED near MY father why would I let you marry my daughter. I think it is sickening. Men really need to find women that are age appropriate. It seems like they go for younger women because they think that because they are young they make them feel young and there is a certain amount of control in factored. But not all young girls are stupid and dumb and I have seen some give these old men for a ride.
Put it is pretty sickening serving tea to an old man trying to be nice and hospitable. Having that Old man smell grinning at you with missing teeth giving you the once over with his eyes telling your mother how his wife died and he is looking for a woman to take care of him and his children. NOW I am 15 and some of his children were grown and he was already a great grandfather. Go figure. Nasty and I see it with my daughter with old men coming up to me asking is she taken?
That is nasty as hell.
But there are some younger women that DO go after older men because of money and stablity that they think that a younger man cannot give them. Sometimes they are just with them to get what they can and move on. And old men need that ego boost and this is why they drop their wives for younger women and 9 times out to 10 they regret it because those younger women put them through hell
Thats what they get
I hated it when I was REALLY young like 15 back home and these men in their 30's up to their 70's would have my mother for my hand in marriage. My mother was like WHAT are you kidding you are old enough to BE DAMNED near MY father why would I let you marry my daughter. I think it is sickening. Men really need to find women that are age appropriate. It seems like they go for younger women because they think that because they are young they make them feel young and there is a certain amount of control in factored. But not all young girls are stupid and dumb and I have seen some give these old men for a ride.
Put it is pretty sickening serving tea to an old man trying to be nice and hospitable. Having that Old man smell grinning at you with missing teeth giving you the once over with his eyes telling your mother how his wife died and he is looking for a woman to take care of him and his children. NOW I am 15 and some of his children were grown and he was already a great grandfather. Go figure. Nasty and I see it with my daughter with old men coming up to me asking is she taken?
That is nasty as hell.
But there are some younger women that DO go after older men because of money and stablity that they think that a younger man cannot give them. Sometimes they are just with them to get what they can and move on. And old men need that ego boost and this is why they drop their wives for younger women and 9 times out to 10 they regret it because those younger women put them through hell
Thats what they get
BlkHoneyLuv2U
Well-Known Member
to comment on the bolded, I am not looking for a guy at this time, nor any time in the near future lol. I did have a fwb and I say did because after the christmas fiasco, I never went back. He's older than me, I am 49, pookie is 53 and he cant git it up, or when he do it wont stay up. I must be going through a midlife crisis myself because when I do decide to go on the prowl, it will be for guys between 35-45. I was so mad with pookie, I was gonna spend the weekend but after a night of failed sexual attempts, the first thing next morning I said take me home. I can have a better time with my vibrator by myself. Now you need to do something about that....take some pills, call somebody, do something and dont call me again till you do. Holla atcha player.
ETA: Now pookie telling my mom's husband that things between us (what us, I was only there for the sex) is not going to work out. As if we were exclusively dating....oh not so...never was to...
anyways, ya heard it here first, as you get older you single ladies, leave those old farts alone....cause all they bring to the bedroom is limp noodles and I never liked top ramen....why not go out and get ourselves a young tenderoni
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Tigerlily25
New Member
This kinda thing has been going on for so long because they can get away with it. It's classic. It's old news and I've seen this up close and personal when a 38-y.o man was seriously after my 16 y.o DD. Bottom line, is no one is holding the guilty culprits accountable, not the Christian brothers, not grandpa, and not even from us women. We are all collectively guilty of allowing it to go on.
A major paradigm shift is in need here, and granted it won't help us in this generation, at least it gives hope to the future generation of dating pool. Mothers, we have to raise our sons to do what's right. Fathers, school your daughters about the games. Teach them to challenge the friend with the foul mouth, stand up to peer pressure and raise self-esteem so high that they become attractive from the inside out. As a single mother with a young son coming up, I'm on his arse...as well as his friends, and the friend's friends, and reaching out to the parents, and the church-going brothers to be positive role models in my son's life... (never alone cause my watchful eye on the situation says trust my son alone with no man
). I surround myself with positive people and I am not afraid to call them out on the occasion BS that crop up from time to time...
Will it phase out, yes. Will it be completely eradicated, errr... no, I don't think so as there will be A-holes crop up in EVERY generation. But I do my part, and in time, with enough people confronting this thing and taking issue with it head-on, it is my hope that slowly but surely this behavior and accepted 'norm' will become the exception and NOT the rule that as it stands right now. Each one of us has the power to do something with this, or keep complaining about...who's with me?
When I was in my 30's, I was looking for Mister Right, and was miserable during the process. Every prospect looked bleak ---broke-arse, disrespectful momma-boys with nothing going on. Now that I'm 40 my world is lovely cause I'm living my life like it's golden and the amount of attention I am attracting is working as if I intentionally planned it which I did not. I'm not conceited, just happy and exuding a new level of confidence that seems to attract. Now that I'm on the prowl, I am meeting some truly decent men my age all of the time especially at wine tasting events. Most of the time they are of good moral character, in a good place financially, with little to zero drama and just got it together---and although they are flocked by women (looking needy and desperate), they weed through the crowd to approach ME...go figure. I've had to turn down some gems just cause I'm in school right now but they all seem to be willing to wait. If they're not willing to wait, wanna move on, oh well...
I say hold on to your standards without compromise, don't settle for less than what you feel you deserve, and definitely don't let the fools get you down. This is good thing when they give up early, that's why it's called the weeding out process--to get rid of the weeds, even the ones that feign classiness for a short while....:killlurk:
If you're willing to make a man feel like a king, then make that man treat you like the queen that you are and meet your needs. You are a queen and a queen should settle for nothing less than a king in actions and in deeds, period. My eyes have seen the light and I know for a fact that the good ones are out there made to your specific order. If anything, I've added more to my list of standards with wreckless abandon. The good ones you want will respect you more for it, you will respect yourself more in the end, and more importantly, know that you're worth it.
A major paradigm shift is in need here, and granted it won't help us in this generation, at least it gives hope to the future generation of dating pool. Mothers, we have to raise our sons to do what's right. Fathers, school your daughters about the games. Teach them to challenge the friend with the foul mouth, stand up to peer pressure and raise self-esteem so high that they become attractive from the inside out. As a single mother with a young son coming up, I'm on his arse...as well as his friends, and the friend's friends, and reaching out to the parents, and the church-going brothers to be positive role models in my son's life... (never alone cause my watchful eye on the situation says trust my son alone with no man
). I surround myself with positive people and I am not afraid to call them out on the occasion BS that crop up from time to time...Will it phase out, yes. Will it be completely eradicated, errr... no, I don't think so as there will be A-holes crop up in EVERY generation. But I do my part, and in time, with enough people confronting this thing and taking issue with it head-on, it is my hope that slowly but surely this behavior and accepted 'norm' will become the exception and NOT the rule that as it stands right now. Each one of us has the power to do something with this, or keep complaining about...who's with me?
When I was in my 30's, I was looking for Mister Right, and was miserable during the process. Every prospect looked bleak ---broke-arse, disrespectful momma-boys with nothing going on. Now that I'm 40 my world is lovely cause I'm living my life like it's golden and the amount of attention I am attracting is working as if I intentionally planned it which I did not. I'm not conceited, just happy and exuding a new level of confidence that seems to attract. Now that I'm on the prowl, I am meeting some truly decent men my age all of the time especially at wine tasting events. Most of the time they are of good moral character, in a good place financially, with little to zero drama and just got it together---and although they are flocked by women (looking needy and desperate), they weed through the crowd to approach ME...go figure. I've had to turn down some gems just cause I'm in school right now but they all seem to be willing to wait. If they're not willing to wait, wanna move on, oh well...
I say hold on to your standards without compromise, don't settle for less than what you feel you deserve, and definitely don't let the fools get you down. This is good thing when they give up early, that's why it's called the weeding out process--to get rid of the weeds, even the ones that feign classiness for a short while....:killlurk:
If you're willing to make a man feel like a king, then make that man treat you like the queen that you are and meet your needs. You are a queen and a queen should settle for nothing less than a king in actions and in deeds, period. My eyes have seen the light and I know for a fact that the good ones are out there made to your specific order. If anything, I've added more to my list of standards with wreckless abandon. The good ones you want will respect you more for it, you will respect yourself more in the end, and more importantly, know that you're worth it
.
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I appreciate hearing this!! Thank you!
This kinda thing has been going on for so long because they can get away with it. It's classic. It's old news and I've seen this up close and personal when a 38-y.o man was seriously after my 16 y.o DD. Bottom line, is no one is holding the guilty culprits accountable, not the Christian brothers, not grandpa, and not even from us women. We are all collectively guilty of allowing it to go on.
A major paradigm shift is in need here, and granted it won't help us in this generation, at least it gives hope to the future generation of dating pool. Mothers, we have to raise our sons to do what's right. Fathers, school your daughters about the games. Teach them to challenge the friend with the foul mouth, stand up to peer pressure and raise self-esteem so high that they become attractive from the inside out. As a single mother with a young son coming up, I'm on his arse...as well as his friends, and the friend's friends, and reaching out to the parents, and the church-going brothers to be positive role models in my son's life... (never alone cause my watchful eye on the situation says trust my son alone with no man
Will it phase out, yes. Will it be completely eradicated, errr... no, I don't think so as there will be A-holes crop up in EVERY generation. But I do my part, and in time, with enough people confronting this thing and taking issue with it head-on, it is my hope that slowly but surely this behavior and accepted 'norm' will become the exception and NOT the rule that as it stands right now. Each one of us has the power to do something with this, or keep complaining about...who's with me?
When I was in my 30's, I was looking for Mister Right, and was miserable during the process. Every prospect looked bleak ---broke-arse, disrespectful momma-boys with nothing going on. Now that I'm 40 my world is lovely cause I'm living my life like it's golden and the amount of attention I am attracting is working as if I intentionally planned it which I did not. I'm not conceited, just happy and exuding a new level of confidence that seems to attract. Now that I'm on the prowl, I am meeting some truly decent men my age all of the time especially at wine tasting events. Most of the time they are of good moral character, in a good place financially, with little to zero drama and just got it together---and although they are flocked by women (looking needy and desperate), they weed through the crowd to approach ME...go figure. I've had to turn down some gems just cause I'm in school right now but they all seem to be willing to wait. If they're not willing to wait, wanna move on, oh well...
I say hold on to your standards without compromise, don't settle for less than what you feel you deserve, and definitely don't let the fools get you down. This is good thing when they give up early, that's why it's called the weeding out process--to get rid of the weeds, even the ones that feign classiness for a short while....:killlurk:
If you're willing to make a man feel like a king, then make that man treat you like the queen that you are and meet your needs. You are a queen and a queen should settle for nothing less than a king in actions and in deeds, period. My eyes have seen the light and I know for a fact that the good ones are out there made to your specific order. If anything, I've added more to my list of standards with wreckless abandon. The good ones you want will respect you more for it, you will respect yourself more in the end, and more importantly, know that you're worth it
Tigerlily25
New Member
I appreciate hearing this!! Thank you!
With a father AND mother like Barack and Michelle Obama, imagine the man that even thinks about stepping to Malia and Sasha when they grow up? They deserve a good one, and so do all of us. Set the bar high, surround yourself with the cream of the crop, and if you're the cream (most successful, educated, well-rounded without being too full of yourself, loyal, moral, and basically got your stuff together, on and on, etc, etc.) then broaden your circle. As long as you're not looking down on others, it's your God-given right to be high on yourself. Just do not tolerate the muckity-muck cause it's not worth it. 'Nuff said...
.Oh, I do the online thing but a few other places that work well for me meeting the gems are book/poetry readings, investment clubs, and graduate student clubs along with my favorite---wine tasting events!
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With a father AND mother like Barack and Michelle Obama, imagine the man that even thinks about stepping to Malia and Sasha when they grow up? They deserve a good one, and so do all of us. Set the bar high, surround yourself with the cream of the crop, and if you're the cream (most successful, educated, well-rounded without being too full of yourself, loyal, moral, and basically got your stuff together, on and on, etc, etc.) then broaden your circle. As long as you're not looking down on others, it's your God-given right to be high on yourself. Just do not tolerate the muckity-muck cause it's not worth it. 'Nuff said...
Oh, I do the online thing but a few other places that work well for me meeting the gems are book/poetry readings, investment clubs, and graduate student clubs along with my favorite---wine tasting events!
I've been signing up on meetup.com lately.
Butterfly08
New Member
I attract older men too, like a moth to a flame. 
erplexed DH is older and I still get older guys coming after me. erplexed IDK why. 
erplexed DH is older and I still get older guys coming after me. erplexed IDK why. Ms_Delikate
Well-Known Member
I have a slightly different perspective. I am divorced and I prefer older guys because I feel that most of them know how to treat a woman compared to the guys my age. I am in my early thirties and would prefer a guy at most 10 years older than me. He has to be in shape because I am in shape. I also would prefer a guy who was already married because I don't want to be the one teaching a guy what it takes to make a marriage work...been there, done that.
Ms_Delikate
Well-Known Member
I hear what you are saying Bunny but I look at it like this...I don't care so much about his past history or how many chicks he has "run through" etc. etc. I just care that when he gets to me...He treats ME how I want and deserve to be treated. I can't be dating for the "bigger picture"...I just want someone who makes me feel like I deserve to feel.
Thank you! I'm a writer by profession, so I guess it's just all a part of the job!
I always laugh when I hear younger women talking about how much older men "appreciate" them and aren't intimidated by the fact that they have an education, a home, car, etc.... they say how older men "get it," while men their age don't...
I turn to them and say, "Well OF COURSE they appreciate it after they've already run through a bunch of women, maybe have a kid or two and NOW they think they're entitled to a young chick!"
I'm just saying... before these women big up these men for being sooooo mature and soooo appreciative of them and their accomplishments, they need to look at the bigger picture.
There have been studies on male and female behavior on online dating sites. Very few men actually read the profiles... they just see a picture and if they like it, they'll contact you.
Bunny77
New Member
Understandable... I see you wrote that you're also divorced, so you might be coming at this from a different perspective.
For me, his past history does play into how I would feel about him. It might not make a difference for someone else... I would have a problem being say, 25, and having some 45-year-old divorced man or never-married playa suddenly decide that he wants to settle down with me. I wouldn't want someone with that much past history.
