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White man's guide to dating black women
- Thread starter Dellas
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Katherina
Well-Known Member
This title is a tad unsettling because to me at first glance its implication is: black women deserve better than black men. who might be better than black men? The great white man of course.
I'm looking at the first book now.
DDTexlaxed
TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
I think we need to believe we deserve better. So many news stories/ You Tube stories about black women not being able to get men are circulating. Why not this?:wink2:
About time!
I'm sure there are some books floating around about black men dating other ethnicity as well.
About time! I'm sure there are some books floating around about black men dating other ethnicity as well.
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
Yeah, I felt some kind of way about that
erplexed but I love the title of the second book. Tis allI wonder how many WM are actually buying this book.
Katherina
Well-Known Member
wednesday
Well-Known Member
you all know black women would be HOT if this was the other way around!
"Black Men deserve Better" With a picture of a black dude staring into blonde Becky's eyes.
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complexsimplicity
Well-Known Member
I appreciate the thought but why are all the covers of a black woman with a white man. I do deserve better that doesn't mean I'll find it with a white man or a man of any other race. White ain't always right...
DirtyJerzeyGirly
Well-Known Member
WOW @ all these books.
sunnieb
Well-Known Member
This made me laugh out loud! We just watched "Avatar" the other night!
Carry on........
MissYocairis
Well-Known Member
I read the first page of Chapter 1. Of "The White Man's Guide...". Sure, the "Taste for Black Women" title of this chapter is a lil *side eye*, but not too much. If you read just this first page, you will see this author is serious about getting wm who are interested in bw to explore why, to date, they haven't dated a bw. He's encouraging them to explore mental blocks and assumptions they have about bw and clear them out and open up. It reads like a book for women in that way. Interesting. :scratchch
Interesting. :scratchch
Katherina
Well-Known Member
I read the beginning of the first book OP posted. He discussed releasing learned ideas about interracial dating (fears of the unknown, removing other barriers like habit - e.g. not being used to approaching black women), how it's okay to have and express preferences that differ from what you're used to (a lot of white people grow up in areas where there is no interracial dating, especially of the black woman white man sort), and how to cope with the social pressure resulting from society's sometimes negative judgement of interracial daters (basically remove those people from your life - they only have as much power as you let them). I think it would be pretty useful for a white guy stepping out of his comfort zone to read this book.
I mean, you can say it's like they're treating black women like another species, but it's not really like that. It really can be difficult to break out of habits (e.g. dating white girls only) in such a race-driven society to date black women to whom you're attracted when random people or family and friends may see the relationship as taboo. It can be also difficult to change your behavior - maybe the white guy doesn't approach because he's been trained to automatically think black women won't be attracted to him (even though he's attracted to them). So he is used to approaching white women out of habit. He would need to change his way of thinking. I don't see the problem.
I mean, you can say it's like they're treating black women like another species, but it's not really like that. It really can be difficult to break out of habits (e.g. dating white girls only) in such a race-driven society to date black women to whom you're attracted when random people or family and friends may see the relationship as taboo. It can be also difficult to change your behavior - maybe the white guy doesn't approach because he's been trained to automatically think black women won't be attracted to him (even though he's attracted to them). So he is used to approaching white women out of habit. He would need to change his way of thinking. I don't see the problem.
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
you all know black women would be HOT if this was the other way around!
Except this book actually exists and we haven't heard a squeak or a peep out of one black man who is upset by it. They don't care, they're staring into blonde Becky's eyes in real life, not just on a book.
And how or why would black men come across these books?! Shoot, how did OP find these things?!Except this book actually exists and we haven't heard a squeak or a peep out of one black man who is upset by it. They don't care, they're staring into blonde Becky's eyes in real life, not just on a book.
Funny and sad all at the same time...
MissYocairis
Well-Known Member
We really need to let go of these complexes about dating interracially. Everytime there is an interracial dating thread, there is a bunch of side eyeing the intentions of those who are proponents of it. Meanwhile, talk to any black man and they generally view irr relationships as far more acceptable. We are still the ones clinging to an illusory loyalty that is unreciprocal. If it's not right for you, fine. But, there are sincere people out here, bw and wm who are open to dating each other or are contemplating it and therefore, there is a market for these books. It's not exploitative. WM, AM and BW have issues doing what WW and BM and AW have had absolutely NO QUALMS about doing....expanding their circle and exploring love in all places.
Black men are unapologetic. They go for whatever suits their tastes. And yet, here we are, being irritated and side eyeing people who are interested in loving black women and want to share that as a positive endeavor with others. Odd.
Black men are unapologetic. They go for whatever suits their tastes. And yet, here we are, being irritated and side eyeing people who are interested in loving black women and want to share that as a positive endeavor with others.
Odd.
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
you all know black women would be HOT if this was the other way around!
But you know what, a ton of black men would buy that book and not be the least offended.
It's kind of interesting.. we'll complain all day amongst ourselves about black men but if we get a hint of white people belittling black men the hackles come up and it's all 'no they didn't'... black women are loyal to the core..
ETA: Just read Charlotte York's post - and yea, I concur
. Im' not saying everyone needs to get a white man, just sayin all that suspicion and loyalty isn't paying off..
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LadyPaniolo
New Member
@ Charlotte York & Raspberry: THANK YOU!
I'm not mad in the slightest. Oh, what a horrible thought that white men want to overcome social obstacles in order to love and uplift black women!
What could be worse than that? 
BM do them, all day every day, no matter who gets hurt or doesn't like it. But BW are supposed to give up on our options? Why exactly? Because it might hurt BM's feelings?
ok.....
eta: A taste for BW just means a preference or an appreciation for BW, why get all up in arms about that?
I LIKE when someone prefers me, it means they have good taste 
And judging from how quickly lots of BW get all angry, suspicious and persnickety with every.single.thing a WM says (but will put up with all manner of BS from BM) I can see why a guy would like some instructions.
Like I saw a WM advise another WM on askmen dot com about how to meet BW, and he told him to ask the lady if she knew how to cook collard greens!!! he was serious, too! 
Now I like WM but I'd be 
if a WM asked me how to cook greens. So really it may be needed for some men to check out a book like the guide to dating BW.
I'm not mad in the slightest. Oh, what a horrible thought that white men want to overcome social obstacles in order to love and uplift black women!
What could be worse than that? BM do them, all day every day, no matter who gets hurt or doesn't like it. But BW are supposed to give up on our options? Why exactly? Because it might hurt BM's feelings?
ok.....eta: A taste for BW just means a preference or an appreciation for BW, why get all up in arms about that?
I LIKE when someone prefers me, it means they have good taste And judging from how quickly lots of BW get all angry, suspicious and persnickety with every.single.thing a WM says (but will put up with all manner of BS from BM) I can see why a guy would like some instructions.
Like I saw a WM advise another WM on askmen dot com about how to meet BW, and he told him to ask the lady if she knew how to cook collard greens!!!
he was serious, too! Now I like WM but I'd be if a WM asked me how to cook greens. So really it may be needed for some men to check out a book like the guide to dating BW.
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qchelle
Well-Known Member
wednesday
Well-Known Member
i'm all for interracial relationships. I wish we could all be colorblind and love who we love without having to put anyone down, regardless of whether or not "black men date other women and don't care". Black women deserve better?....better than what? That's just sounds weird to me. What is it implying?
Sure there is...interest and desire - Black men aren't interested in this type of information - and frankly, I don't know why we are.
We tend to get ourselves in a tizzy over negative perceptions and information regarding black women and relationships. And I get it - there's a lot of negative information and misrepresentations about our dating behaviors and habits (and the likelihood of us finding a date to begin with) and its frustrating.
But we seem to spend a lot of time analyzing and discussing the nonsense - I don't think black men are doing the same.
Really??? What black man do you know that is going to buy a dating book?But you know what, a ton of black men would buy that book and not be the least offended.
It's kind of interesting.. we'll complain all day amongst ourselves about black men but if we get a hint of white people belittling black men the hackles come up and it's all 'no they didn't'... black women are loyal to the core..
ETA: Just read Charlotte York's post - and yea, I concur
NONE of the men I know would be caught dead with a dating book on their shelves - white chicks or not. And we are begrudgingly loyal. We're loyal while we suck our teeth. We're loyal while we defend black men against the stereotypes in public but question whether or not they're worthy of the defense in private (or if the stereotypes are true???). A lot of us have dated some frogs and are losing faith that the imperfect prince actually exists, let alone that we'll be in the right place at the right time to actually meet him.
We need to reinvigorate our own faith in OUR value as black women and what we want from a relationship. False faith isn't getting us anywhere.
