When your boo gets "comfortable"...

[Glib Gurl]

Ladies, what do you do when your boo gets "comfortable" around you?

You're beyond the "woo"-ing stage and you're more established.

So, he doesn't feel the need to call you 50-11 times a day, although he still does call and text everyday. Shoot, he is so comfortable, he might even let one rip around you.

Errah, how do you try to get that old thing back? Without being naggy or needy? (What can I say? I like being "woo"'d....)

 

[melisandre]

I would like to know this, too. I'm in a similar stage in my relationship.

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[nlamr2013]

I don't think it's naggy to ask why you aren't being wood anymore. Ask what's changed?

 

[Fine 4s]

Disappear for a while! Do your own thing, pretend like ur single....

 

[hopeful]

Don't let anyone get that comfortable with you so quickly. It takes two to tangle, remember that. You are allowing it. Don't just hang out too much. If you want to go to the movies, start making plans to go with him or without him, with a friend or alone, keep dressing up and look cute. Simply don't be available for doing nothing. Tell him that you would love to go see ____ concert or check out ____ restaurant and see how he responds. If he is just like so then go alone or with someone else and simply not be available for hanging out and watching him pass gas. IMO that is not cute at all. He should still be trying to impress you. Be prepared to bounce if that is the kind of relationship he wants. He has the right to be lazy if he wants, just not with you if that does not appeal to you.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I was thinking that lol. It must be quite early!

I don't feel SO has got comfortable. We're pretty much the same.

The only thing that has changed is the underwear we wear lol. I have mentioned that to him though.

He's got this weird way of releasing his burps silently and still does it. Never heard him fart.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Don't let anyone get that comfortable with you so quickly. It takes two to tangle, remember that. You are allowing it. Don't just hang out too much. If you want to go to the movies, start making plans to go with him or without him, with a friend or alone, keep dressing up and look cute. Simply don't be available for doing nothing. Tell him that you would love to go see ____ concert or check out ____ restaurant and see how he responds. If he is just like so then go alone or with someone else and simply not be available for hanging out and watching him pass gas. IMO that is not cute at all. He should still be trying to impress you. Be prepared to bounce if that is the kind of relationship he wants. He has the right to be lazy if he wants, just not with you if that does not appeal to you.

This is EXACTLY what I'm thinking. Hmph....

 

[CharlieEcho]

Ladies, what do you do when your boo gets "comfortable" around you? You're beyond the "woo"-ing stage and you're more established. So, he doesn't feel the need to call you 50-11 times a day, although he still does call and text everyday. Shoot, he is so comfortable, he might even let one rip around you. Errah, how do you try to get that old thing back? Without being naggy or needy? (What can I say? I like being "woo"'d....)

I'm not understanding your problem. This is typical of a long term relationship. The guy calls you every day still so what's your problem? You seem insecure and needy which is not a good thing.

Honeymoon periods don't last forever.

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[Briabiggles]

I'm not understanding your problem. This is typical of a long term relationship. The guy calls you every day still so what's your problem? You seem insecure and needy which is not a good thing. Honeymoon periods don't last forever. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

I think the issue is that they haven't been together very long.

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[Glib Gurl]

You seem insecure and needy which is not a good thing.

Hey, I never said I wasn't!

I am trying to check myself and not be too needy because I know I can be extra.

But, I mean . . . if he eases up THIS early...it can only go downhill from here, y'know?

 

[hopeful]

Hey, I never said I wasn't! I am trying to check myself and not be too needy because I know I can be extra. But, I mean . . . if he eases up THIS early...it can only go downhill from here, y'know?

Women have been taught to believe that having needs IS being needy. Those are two different things. So yes, check yourself, but very gently. What you have described here is about your needs within a romantic relationship. You should stay in touch with your feelings as they can serve as a guide. Women ignore that nagging feeling and then are shocked when the man seems to leave suddenly when he's being showing her all along. Or she suddenly realizes she's unhappy or feels used when that feeling was there months before but was ignored.

 

[Slicebread]

Women have been taught to believe that having needs IS being needy. Those are two different things. So yes, check yourself, but very gently. What you have described here is about your needs within a romantic relationship. You should stay in touch with your feelings as they can serve as a guide. Women ignore that nagging feeling and then are shocked when the man seems to leave suddenly when he's being showing her all along. Or she suddenly realizes she's unhappy or feels used when that feeling was there months before but was ignored.

I agree, the signs are there as small cracks. There is no long relationship stage. When a man is crazy about you he just is; everyday! He's intimate and checks in for years. Don't get it twisted Men will try ya. What you Tolerate will continue. Too many of us think there is a honeymoon stage or a pattern to settle in. Not true they are just like us and have a need to be around us too if we are The One. If not its an STD on steroids AKA a Something To Do. I've met waaaay too many men trying to use my time while having "seeing someone" for years. That's a GF too me. I then think hmmm what's wrong with her that he is out looking out the window? All if them say "Oh She is Great" I'm just not ready to settle down and she is" I send all of them on packing as sion as I learn about their hmm "Seeing someone" with my text to them which states that they need to concentrate on their current Boo. To answer your questions "Do You" treat them bad, act like a "B" and be a full time GiG. You can do all this and not act Ratchet. Even when you are married, call them out every time! Yep keep it real. they Hate it and Love it. That is a woman not a girl. When you go out look like you have options and will drop him. I'm not apologizing cause I know some people may not agree. The one quote I remember from my Grandfather was this. No one goes to a restaurant where there are no parked cars! Queens never settle or wonder about her man not being the same in Act three as he used to be in Act one. That's called Next!

 

[CharlieEcho]

Hey, I never said I wasn't! I am trying to check myself and not be too needy because I know I can be extra. But, I mean . . . if he eases up THIS early...it can only go downhill from here, y'know?

At least you recognise it and are doing something about it which is commendable.

How long have you been with him?

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[Crackers Phinn]

Everything Hopeful said except you need to check dude immediately and directly on the farting thing.

That's too bleeping comfortable, even when you're married. Because let's face it, most people not raised in a barn would try to hold it until they were out of sound/smell range if they were amongst strangers, a loved one should get the same consideration.

 

[Evolving78]

Everything Hopeful said except you need to check dude immediately and directly on the farting thing.

That's too bleeping comfortable, even when you're married. Because let's face it, most people not raised in a barn would try to hold it until they were out of sound/smell range if they were amongst strangers, a loved one should get the same consideration.

I would break up with someone over that. I know it is very shallow, but that is a huge turn off for me. I wouldn't want to be physically intimate with him anymore.

 

[fluffyforever]

I had to correct my FH on several things regarding his slipping manners over our 8 year relationship. I found with him, I had to be direct and tell him I need to be constantly wooed and impressed, otherwise I will find someone else to keep my attention because I do get bored easily. The main thing I want is flirtation and romance. You can't romance a person while farting or picking at yourself at the same time. I made it clear very often that if I'm not married, I'm single and ready to mingle. And even if I was married, it's not like he could stop guys from approaching me and tempting me with what I want most.

It got to the point where I felt I was living with a roommate with benefits. We were intimate, but no romance, no courting, bad and disgusting habits came out the woodwork. I wasn't having that, so I found some other guys to impress me and keep me amused while I ignored my SO's laziness. I didn't get intimate, just some light flirting in person and texts. SO was enraged at first, then tolerated it for a while, then he got with the program slowly and started fighting for my attention again. After he kept up the good habits and courting, he asked me to marry him. After I took the ring I reminded him the courting doesn't stop just because I said yes. He understood. And here we are now in year 8 at a much better place than year 7.

I wouldn't recommend this at all to anyone else. I was serious about breaking up with him at one point because of his lack of manners so I was seriously flirting with other men in front of SO.

 

[Fine 4s]

Wow fluffy that's gangstah!

I think this happens alot, might have happened in my past relationship(s).
They would have liked more flirting and in fact, they both said they feel like they were living with a roommate at times but for different reasons (guilty as charged). One initiated the flirts but the other didn't so I didn't either.

Keeping that romance alive is a must!

 

[lux10023]

love this!!! agree a million percent---and ditto on the Queen aspect

when ppl say the honeymoon stage is over im like hmmmm---i still-yes still feel like I'm on a honeymoon with dh--that man keeps the fire going and then someeeee

so much so he make me want to step it up!!! loll
when a man wants a woman and values her--he never ever ever wants to let that go or allow anyone else to have her!

ppl treat you how you allow them to---the romance and fire shall remain burning sometimes that fire is a blazing other times its on a low simmer but still burning!!!

my husband remains on a chase with me because he knows listen stay on your A game with me or blinkkkk and things can change..i never let him get comfortable--..well maybe a lil lmaooo

I agree, the signs are there as small cracks. There is no long relationship stage. When a man is crazy about you he just is; everyday! He's intimate and checks in for years. Don't get it twisted Men will try ya. What you Tolerate will continue. Too many of us think there is a honeymoon stage or a pattern to settle in. Not true they are just like us and have a need to be around us too if we are The One. If not its an STD on steroids AKA a Something To Do. I've met waaaay too many men trying to use my time while having "seeing someone" for years. That's a GF too me. I then think hmmm what's wrong with her that he is out looking out the window? All if them say "Oh She is Great" I'm just not ready to settle down and she is" I send all of them on packing as sion as I learn about their hmm "Seeing someone" with my text to them which states that they need to concentrate on their current Boo. To answer your questions "Do You" treat them bad, act like a "B" and be a full time GiG. You can do all this and not act Ratchet. Even when you are married, call them out every time! Yep keep it real. they Hate it and Love it. That is a woman not a girl. When you go out look like you have options and will drop him. I'm not apologizing cause I know some people may not agree. The one quote I remember from my Grandfather was this. No one goes to a restaurant where there are no parked cars! Queens never settle or wonder about her man not being the same in Act three as he used to be in Act one. That's called Next!

 

[Britt]

ppl treat you how you allow them to---the romance and fire shall remain burning sometimes that fire is a blazing other times its on a low simmer but still burning!!!

I agree with this... completely and totally. It may not be a blazing fire, but a low simmer should be there.

 

[Lucie]

I think it is a bit early in your relationship for him to be so lax. Have you read, Why Men Love B1$he$? Start tending to yourself more and doing things. He will start to notice. As for the farting been with my SO for 2 years and he lets 'em rip. I don't care, LOL! I think it's hilarious. I don't understand if some people think a person should leave the room each and every time. Whatever floats a woman's boat I suppose. Good luck to you GG. xo

 

[Glib Gurl]

Thanks for the feedback everyone.

Ok. He tried to play me this weekend so I let him HAVE it. I won't spill all the tea, but basically the convo ended up with me saying something like this: "If you want to be with ME, then this is what you gotta do...." and making it clear that I expect the same respect that I was asking of him from even my girlfriends so it wasn't like I was trying to be extra or hold him accountable for what other men have done to me in the past. I think he got the message. Let's see how he does.

But yeah. I'm going to keep myself up and lookin' fly because as soon as homeboy slips up like this again, it will be time for me to bounce....