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When you no longer LIKE your "natural look"...WDYD?

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PeanutButterandHoney

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Okay, so here's the cap:
-Natural 8 months
-Hair very healthy
-Usually wear hair in wash and go's, twists, twistouts, and puffs
-4a with some 4b
-Hair is SL when stretched but looks like a TWA when shrunken


I am feeling OVER IT...like, I no longer LIKE the"look"/afro-like hair
I miss the LOOK of relaxed hair..it made ME look better IMO..

I don't think that that relaxed hair looks better on everyone, just ME.
I m feeling very blah and the newness of my hair has wore off.
I want to rellllllllax.
No one supported me through my transition, now, my SO, sister, cousins, etc say that I would be stupid to relax (all their words). They looove my hair, I don't.
I saw a friend had went ahead and relaxed (we BC'd the same day) and I am so envious.

Is this normal?
What should I do?
*wigs are out of the question, I hate them and so are weaves*


Please keep an open mind with this thread because I am just being brutally honest...
 
Im relaxed but the only piece of advice I can give you is to make your decision wisely. Transitioning doesnt seem easy and you dont want to relax just to feel like you want to be natural again. I would wait it out. A few weeks maybe even months. You may just be feeling like this for the moment.
 
I say wait and see if it is what you want to do. If you still feel the same way go for it.
 
i relaxed in January. It is easier for me but sometime I really miss natural...choose wisely
 
How long is your hair right now do you might me asking? That might be a factor...I got really annoyed when my hair was at an awkward length (all 3 times I BC'd) and i felt limited in my styles. Now that my hair is longer I really feel like i can rock any look from straight to afro.
 
I can relate to you. I like when my hair looks longer. I hate the way short hair looks on me. My hair is between shoulder blade, and it shrinks to a small Afro, and i hate it, my head looks huge, and I just don't like it. I do like how being natural has helped me grow my hair. My hair hasn't been this healthy since I was a child.

But if you wen't natural because your relaxed hair was damaged, and you were not retaining lenght, I would not relax again. You should straighten your hair properlly, maybe once a week or two weeks, when ever you wash your hair. So that you can get the look yhou want with out loosing your progress.
 
I just relaxed in January, but my hair is still very very very textured. And I have the best of both worlds, but I would straighten my hair and see what that does...but then again, if you find yourself only liking your hair straight then you can always relax and just do bantu knot outs and other textured styles...
 
Hmm...that's a tough one OP. I'm natural and have never been relaxed but I can say I love the options of doing both straight and curly styles. If you feel like your hair can still be healthy with a relaxer in it then I say go for it. I know a lot of women who are relaxed have a problem with loose curl pattern and can't do a wash and go and pull it off but I think you should do whatever you feel is necessary if your head is a healthy one. Good luck with your decision!
 
I would say... take some time and read through the BKT thread. (I know it's crazy long, but it was worth it for me)

Some have said it is an alternative to relaxing (if you're unsure).

All I can say is that BKT was the best choice for ME.

HTH!
 
Why don't you try flat ironing first. Natural hair is so versatile. After you get tired of the straight look you can use caruso rollers to wear it curly, bantu knots, etc...and at the end of all that you can still go back to your curly hair look. Hang in there, we all get tired of our hair sometimes.
 
Yup. I would try flat ironing it for a while, or BKT just so you have options. Relaxer is so permanent, it would definitely suck to just do it and regret it (even a month later).

You could also a try a sew in, if you want the straight look without the maintenance of flat ironed natural (esp in the heat). I think I will do that if I get tired of my shrinkalicious hair.

But I do feel you on this - I just had this thought the other day... that straight hair just looked better on me (but it quickly went away as I played in my hair)
 
Use twist outs and braid outs to keep length. It works really well for me. My hair is SL-APL and it's SL when I wear a twist out.
 
ITA with flatironing. I flatiron weekly just because I'm not ready to wear my hair out due to the remaining relaxed ends. But at least that gives you the flexiblity of straight hair and if you don't like it, you can just wash it out. No sense relaxing and regretting it.
 
If you want to relax...then I say go for it. The great thing about this site is you'll get great advice for healthy natural hair and healthy relaxed hair.
 
If you want to relax, then, relax. There are no prizes or gold medals for staying natural. Just make sure it's what you want to do because transitioning, BC'ing and starting all over again is hard work and time consuming.

Why not try flat ironing your hair? This way you can have the look of a relaxer for a few days to see how it makes you feel before making a permanent decision.

Or if you decide that you like the straight look only sometimes then you can plan to flat iron once a month or once every few months or whatever timeframe works for you.

Natural hair can be versatile and fun but you have to make it versatile and fun.
 
There are other straightening options than just relaxing. Weigh them out first. The "easiest" route isn't always the best one.
 
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Its only 8 months. I would say give it at least a year or year and a half. You cant go back once you relax and regret it, you'd have to start all over again. I would wait a few months.
 
I think the only thing you need is TIME....All regimens need a healthy dose of time.

I am 2 years and 1 month post BC and I will say that my hair is pretty much at a length (grazing BSL stretched...SL unstretched) where I feel like...OKAY....

With all that I have been through...the ups and downs (I wanted to relax every month the 1st year) the HAT/Knitted Cap Days....all I can think of is: WHAT IF I HAD GIVEN UP?

In the meantime, I get bored easily, so when its boring hair time or frizzy hair time (ie summer time)....I throw in a banging weave for a month....I may do individual braids, a sew in, something to give me a hair break....its always either a really long weave (so I can have my time to SWANG), or BIG curly hair weave....so I can have that swang and bounce....after 4-6 weeks of that I miss my natural curls and my wash days so I can make concoctions and see what my hair does....and I take it down....I just came out of WL individual box braids and after 6 weeks I took it down....The whole time I filled my mind with pics of new natural styles I want to try.......And I can't wait...!

Sometimes you just need to switch it up....be brave....be BOLD....and be PATIENT!

You will feel so glad you waited... I am wearing a SL twist-out today and someone asked me if it was mine! HA!.....I am SOOOO glad I stayed in the natural game.....its sooooooo worth it! Frustration is Natural.....But so is your hair! YEP!
 
I say relax if you really want to, but if you mix your natural hair you have to grow it out again. Try a straight full head weave for a month and see it you want straight hair before you relax.
 
Oh yeah...part of my new things to try, this latest twist-out was done by doing a dry DC for 20 hours...rinsing it out 95%, adding a little CHI silk infusion and doing a light blow-dry to stretch the roots, so the twists look longer....I love it!
I did the blow-dry on cold, but high blast...I didn't dry 100%, then did braids for a day while it air-dried. The next day I did the twists, and took them out after 2 days....Its been 6 days and the hair is still soft and moisturized...!
 
For my first couple of years, I was a heat straightened natural...BKT also seems like a viable option...At the end of the day though, if you would like to relax...relax...you can always transition again!
 
well, i started getting that same itch around that point(although i had other reasons), and only made it to month 11 before relaxing. i instantly regretted it, and started transitioning only 3 months later. '____' i feel like you should give yourself more time to think about this, just to make sure you won't have any regrets. you're only 8 months in. try to give it maybe 4-6 more months, and if you don't like it, relax it then.

oh, and how long did you transition? i read you were 8 months natural, but how many months natural growth do you have? you may still be in that ugly stage (in between twa and baa, where most styles look a lil funky and not in a good way). that was another thing that made me give in to the relaxer. you'll just have to pull through it hun. ♥
 
Okay ladies here's the deal, I am pregnant so BKT is out.


I also live in south Fl, so the heat and humidity would be a waste of time heat styling,but I am willing to give it a try.

Thank you ladies so much!!!

I am so tired of this afro look
 
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