When did you know YOU were ready to get married?

[PopLife]

We always discuss how to know when a guy is ready for marriage and how he'll do such xyz...but how does a woman know when she is ready for marriage?
So, married/engaged or women ready to be married, how did you know you were ready? What are somes things you do/did to show your mate you are/were ready?

 

[Bunny77]

Hmmm... I don't know... it just hit me at some point.

I first started feeling somewhat ready when I was 26 and moved from my first job to my current one. I always felt that my first job would be temporary and while I was open to marrying during that time, I worried that I would get stuck in a certain place and in a certain job if I married then. Plus, as a dating late bloomer, I liked having the chance to date a lot with no expectations.

So, during that period (ages 22-26), I didn't want to marry, didn't feel ready and that probably affected my dating choices or sent out a vibe to various men that I was a footloose and fancy-free single.


When I moved to Job #2, that was my first sign to myself that I was kinda ready to settle down. But I REALLY felt ready when I noticed how frustrated I got with men who wanted to just date (usually older, divorced men) and not commit -- before I didn't really care. Plus, peer pressure can definitely play a role... when you see your peers that you used to run with suddenly marrying and getting all into mommyhood, you start to feel that urge yourself.

Sorry, but the idea of chasing dudes and dressing up to go to clubs all the time in my 30s was NOT cute! And I noticed the priority shift and even a sense of maturity in my married friends who were now parents, and I thought that would be good for me. Eventually, you just get tired of being single.

I didn't have a mate at the time, but when I met my now-fiance, I made it clear early that I was dating for the purpose of marriage. That's all I needed to do to show him that I was ready!

 

[Eclass215]

Hmmm... I don't know... it just hit me at some point.

So, during that period (ages 22-26), I didn't want to marry, didn't feel ready and that probably affected my dating choices or sent out a vibe to various men that I was a footloose and fancy-free single.


Sorry, but the idea of chasing dudes and dressing up to go to clubs all the time in my 30s was NOT cute! And I noticed the priority shift and even a sense of maturity in my married friends who were now parents, and I thought that would be good for me. Eventually, you just get tired of being single.

YUP! I agree with everything right there. I know for me, being single in my early 20's was fabulous and I didn't want to settle down with marriage and kids. Even when my fiance proposed when I was 26, I still wasn't ready. I didn't necissarily want to date other people, but I wasn't ready to be married either. I think once I hit 28 and started really thinking about what I want out of life and a relationship, that's when I knew I was ready. I'm tired of dating, I want a family, and I'm ready now.

 

[JustKiya]

I met the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He felt the same about me.
The End.

But seriously, we both knew we were marriage minded at the point that we agreed to be exclusive with each other - I was 23, he was 25. It was just a matter of us deciding whether each other was a good fit. I think that I can honestly say that I didn't change any of my behaviors at any point while we were dating - my attitude towards him and our relationship shifted slightly when we got engaged & moved in together, and shifted significantly once we got married.

I was never down with the 'act like a wife before you are a wife to prove that you'll be a good wife' bit. Nah, son.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

I realized I was ready when my thinking changed from "do we have a future?" to "what was I doing in my past?" When I couldn't remember how my life was before meeting him.

 

[JustSimplyTish]

I knew with my husband...when I couldn't imagine waking up one morning without him being there next to me....and the fact that we just started completing each other's sentences and thinking about the same things future wise. I mean I would pick up my cell to call him and he was always trying to call me at the same time...Five years later this still happens...we have been married for 3.5 yrs
It's like we just fit...and even though marriage was not something I wanted to get into AGAIN....I just didn't feel like my personal life was complete without him in it.

 

[natural in ATL]

I had recently ended a long term relationship and decided to date around. It was a fun time, a serious whirlwind of different dates on a consistent basis - it helped me learn what I truly wanted (separate from what I wanted as one half of a couple).

After about 6 months of dating a variety of men, I decided that I would stop spending time with random dudes and only date guys that I saw a future with. It was that line of thinking plus the fact that I met my now fiance about 2 weeks after I made that decision, that let me know I was ready for marriage. Something inside shifted and I knew I didn't want to fool around anymore. I met someone who felt the same and was right for me...it was abundantly clear. So clear that I never questioned it - not once! Every single thing just worked. It is the best feeling in the world to be 100% sure about someone and finally be able to let your guard down, not feel confused/wonder about his intentions and be truly happy.

 

[Godyssey]

When I met the right guy. I'd never thought about it or even cared until then.