What's your dating 'strategy'

[zzirvingj]

Men seem to be more strategic when dating than us women...at least that's what I think...

I've realized I totally lack a dating strategy, and just like when you lack a strategy in any area of your life, I'm realizing that if you lack one when it comes to dating, then things just kinda "happen". I think if you plan it out, you just may get better results.

SO. What's 'your' dating strategy? Do you go out a certain number of times per week? To certain places? Do you make sure you have a certain number of men 'on rotation' at all times? Is there a list of things he should or shouldn't do that would potentially qualify or disqualify him for future dates? A specific maximum time frame you will date someone before talks of moving on to something more serious?

I'd be interested in hearing your dating strategies, ladies...

 

[LoveisYou]

don't have one, not sure if that's a good or bad thing

 

[CarolinaGal]

I have no strategy and no game.

 

[kandake]

I didn't know I was supposed to have a strategy.

However, I think I'm going to start going out to dinner by myself during the week. It seems like most restaurants have flatscreens these days. So, I want to sit at the bar and have dinner or dessert and a drink while watching whatever game is on.

I guess that's my meeting men strategy but after meeting someone I just go with the flow.

But I'm open to suggestions.

 

[Makenzie]

I guess my strategy is to actively put myself out there. Get out of my comfort zone.

 

[C(squared)]

I try to avoid going places with too many girls or I go alone(1 other friend is enough). I also like happy hours. Aside from the discounted food and drinks, people tend to mingle a bit more after getting off work to me. There are some really nice happy hours in hotels and nice restaurant bars. I prefer the crowd too. Smile, relax and smell good!

 

[cinnespice]

I really don't have one. Maybe i need one. All i know is men are a foreign language that i have not figured out but i would love to learn.

 

[chocolat79]

I have no strategy and no game.

Ditto

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Don't have one. Hopefully, ladies that do will pop into this thread to give us some tips.

 

[*5+5]

Have you tried the 3 nights out per week in a different dress & heels strategy?

I read that on here long ago; the strategy is to dress up three nights per week and attend a different place for a month and you're guaranteed to find a guy. Something about the momentum you gain around week 3 that sends all the boys in around week 4.

 

[aribell]

I don't have an explicit strategy, but I've noticed that I am often in new places around different people. I'll go to different grocery stores, visit new venues, even take different routes home, etc. And I meet a new guy fairly often, but I noticed that as far as I can remember, I've never met someone in one locale more than once (except for at the gym--lots of guys there). So, there's a farmer's market I frequent, but I've only met someone with potential there once. I met someone else at a grocery store I used to go to, but no one besides that.

I don't like to be at home so I'm always out and about, even if it's just to go to Wal-Mart, lol. So IME, not having a set routine where your run into the same people all the time is helpful.

Also, looking as pretty as possible works. Really, neither hair nor weight nor clothes have mattered much for me, but a well made up face tends to work well.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

For me I'm just making sure I'm looking my best and being myself.I had been so uptight in past because of fear of being hurt so I have had my ultra ***** mode.It has been working esp at work so I hope in the near future like next week I will start going to nice places and just chill.Im also upping my online exposure as well..

We make plans to get into college,lose weight,get the job this is no different

 

[Flourishnikov]

I definitely have learned to the approach dating with a strategy. Like the OP said, men do, so I think women should as well. Personally, I can get attached easily if I feel a connection with someone (im a scorpio and we can be intense lol), so I like to keep atleast 3 dudes in rotation. This ensures that if one guy is being flaky, Im not worried about why he hasnt called, because dude number 2 or 3 is calling and keeping me occupied.

I read this great article on an Essence blog by a gentleman whose name slips my mind, but he encouraged women to 'date more, leave earlier", meaning go on lots of dates, but if he isnt what you are looking for then keep it moving sooner rather than later and begin dating someone else.

I look at dating as a fun way to get to know someone and I remind myself that I may not meet "The One" amongst the next 20 dudes that I go to dinner with. However, I think that we can all agree that finding Mr.Right can be a process, so why not have fun and enjoy ourselves during the journey.

 

[zzirvingj]

I definitely have learned to the approach dating with a strategy. Like the OP said, men do, so I think women should as well. Personally, I can get attached easily if I feel a connection with someone (im a scorpio and we can be intense lol), so I like to keep atleast 3 dudes in rotation. This ensures that if one guy is being flaky, Im not worried about why he hasnt called, because dude number 2 or 3 is calling and keeping me occupied.

I read this great article on an Essence blog by a gentleman whose name slips my mind, but he encouraged women to 'date more, leave earlier", meaning go on lots of dates, but if he isnt what you are looking for then keep it moving sooner rather than later and begin dating someone else.

I look at dating as a fun way to get to know someone and I remind myself that I may not meet "The One" amongst the next 20 dudes that I go to dinner with. However, I think that we can all agree that finding Mr.Right can be a process, so why not have fun and enjoy ourselves during the journey.

Sounds good.

Any tips for how to make sure you always have at least 3 guys in rotation at all times...?

 

[Flourishnikov]

Sounds good.

Any tips for how to make sure you always have at least 3 guys in rotation at all times...?

You're an attractive woman, so Im going to assume that you meet guys regularly. I would suggest just being more open to guys that approach you. My friends used to pick on me for being really picky, so since I made a conscious decison to not be so picky regarding looks my dating pool has expanded. Now Im not dating mudducks, but he doesnt HAVE to look like Boris Kodjoe. Lol There still has to be some attraction, but i will now date men under 6ft. Lol

Beyond that I would say just go out more. Its a little more difficult to meet men in the winter, because I find that everyone is already boo'ed up, but its not impossible. Spring/Summer is definitely the "getting season" though. Which is why I need to take advantage of the winter and work on my "spring reveal" (hair and body), so I can be looking right when it warms up.

 

[Makenzie]

You're an attractive woman, so Im going to assume that you meet guys regularly. I would suggest just being more open to guys that approach you. My friends used to pick on me for being really picky, so since I made a conscious decison to not be so picky regarding looks my dating pool has expanded. Now Im not dating mudducks, but he doesnt HAVE to look like Boris Kodjoe. Lol There still has to be some attraction, but i will now date men under 6ft. Lol

Beyond that I would say just go out more. Its a little more difficult to meet men in the winter, because I find that everyone is already boo'ed up, but its not impossible. Spring/Summer is definitely the "getting season" though. Which is why I need to take advantage of the winter and work on my "spring reveal" (hair and body), so I can be looking right when it warms up.

The bolded is exactly what I am doing now.

 

[Flourishnikov]

The bolded is exactly what I am doing now.

Geeeettt 'Eeeeeemmm!!!

 

[BeautyPoint]

Have you tried the 3 nights out per week in a different dress & heels strategy?

I read that on here long ago; the strategy is to dress up three nights per week and attend a different place for a month and you're guaranteed to find a guy. Something about the momentum you gain around week 3 that sends all the boys in around week 4.

hmmm...tell me more about this.

 

[MizAvalon]

I try to avoid going places with too many girls or I go alone(1 other friend is enough). I also like happy hours. Aside from the discounted food and drinks, people tend to mingle a bit more after getting off work to me. There are some really nice happy hours in hotels and nice restaurant bars. I prefer the crowd too. Smile, relax and smell good!

I agree with this. I only just figured this out a couple of years ago. Being with a big group of women is a no-no. Once I started going to places alone or with just one other girlfriend, men approached way more.

 

[MizAvalon]

Have you tried the 3 nights out per week in a different dress & heels strategy?

I read that on here long ago; the strategy is to dress up three nights per week and attend a different place for a month and you're guaranteed to find a guy. Something about the momentum you gain around week 3 that sends all the boys in around week 4.

This sounds like a great strategy. I'm not sure about all of the boys coming around in week 4 but I like the idea of putting yourself out on the town looking great 12 times a month.

I always meet nice men when I am out of town because I am dressed up and actually going out to the different hotspots. Time to start doing that in the city I live in.

 

[*SkolarStar*]

I agree with this. I only just figured this out a couple of years ago. Being with a big group of women is a no-no. Once I started going to places alone or with just one other girlfriend, men approached way more.

At the bolded! That is SO true! I've been going out with one girl lately (also because she's the only true friend I have) and I've been getting approached way more than when I went out with large groups of girls. I like this better.