I took DH name and when we first got married we lived in his hometown and his family was pretty well known so he tried to instill pride in his heritage, history, etc.
After we got divorced I kept the name because it was easier to maintain since I was already established. Now that we are getting married again it is a whole lot easier to KIM because I don't have to establish myself again under a new name.
I took DH name and when we first got married we lived in his hometown and his family was pretty well known so he tried to instill pride in his heritage, history, etc.
After we got divorced I kept the name because it was easier to maintain since I was already established. Now that we are getting married again it is a whole lot easier to KIM because I don't have to establish myself again under a new name.
The bolded just shows what I've always believed: Different people have different takes on the issue and everyone has to do what works for them. A man who thinks it's "no big deal" is entitled to his opinion, but if the woman he's interested in feels differently, instead of becoming offended and hurt, he should make an effort to understand where she's coming from (and vice versa).Well seeing as not many people are responding as I thought, here are my thoughts:
I felt there might be somewhat of a sense of "loss" at taking another name and leaving your own. People say it is about becoming one and all that, but why don't both take each other's name?
My mother feels she is not a child to be named by a man. Others I had this discussion with (including men) felt that it was simply part of getting married and an outward sign of being proud of being married. The men tended to really want the woman to take his name , and felt that it wasn't a big deal, and would not change who she was. But that argument goes both ways...
Any other thoughts?
I was friends with a guy who would always talk about people seeing things from their SO's perspective, but ALL of that went out the window when his (then) fiance was contemplating whether she'd take his last name. This person who talked SO much about respecting differences in opinion was all of a sudden saying that, if she didn't take his name, it would be because she was ashamed if him. It was funny
The bolded just shows what I've always believed: Different people have different takes on the issue and everyone has to do what works for them. A man who thinks it's "no big deal" is entitled to his opinion, but if the woman he's interested in feels differently, instead of becoming offended and hurt, he should make an effort to understand where she's coming from (and vice versa).
My issue is the lack of respect some people have for others' views. I was friends with a guy who would always talk about people seeing things from their SO's perspective, but ALL of that went out the window when his (then) fiance was contemplating whether she'd take his last name. This person who talked SO much about respecting differences in opinion was all of a sudden saying that, if she didn't take his name, it would be because she was ashamed if him. It was funny (as in and ) to see how quickly approach went out the window when he felt threatened (even though her train of thought had absolutely NOTHING to do with her feelings about or love for him).
girl finish the story!
did she take his name or not?
inquiring minds want to know
You two are funny. She took his name. That sad part is he got all and she wasn't even seriously considering not taking his name. I think it was a fleeting thought more than anything else.Of course it's different things for different people, I agree with that totally. I wanted to know how different women felt about it. Still this is my "informal research" out of sheer curiosity.
Did she take his name after all?
You're remarrying your ex? Wow. Congrats.
Amazing story! Did you regret taking his last name after getting divorced?
I took my husband's name and the best way to sum up how I feel about it is this:
I make the name, it doesn't make me. I add to his enterprise, it doesn't take anything away from me. Becoming Mrs._______ doesn't take away from who I was or am and adds another element to my depth as a person.
I don't plan to take my husband's name. My sister hyphenated.
It's just a personal choice. There is a part me that finds the mom, dad, and kids all with the same last name to be soooo CUTE! The Diaz family. Very cohesive almost.
Well, with my guy, I asked him with he wanted. I said he didn't really care what was in between my first name and his last name. I just wanted to know what he wanted. I have decided to drop my middle name and use the the initial of my last name and his last name.
Interesting perspective. I guess you have the same sentiment as I do, except I feel that we add to each other's enterprise in one form or another and create a home together. You know?
ITA with it being cohesive. Please elaborate on the almost part?
May I ask why you dropped your middle name?