what would you do?

[belletropjolie]

I'll try to keep this short and sweet - cos boy can I ramble.

So I met a guy while standing in line at Whole foods this wknd. His not really my type but kind of cute. I could tell he was checking me out (sneaking glances backwards lol) so I just said Hey where do you go running since he was in work out clothes.

We got to talking and we had common interests e.g. I also go running and play tennis. He gave me his card and said text me sometime. So I texted him the next evening.

He texted back saying "we should do something this week. You prefer sports right?". I had to go out of town for a couple days so he said "let's coordinate when you get back".

So Question:
- uhmmm I really don't want to do anything sporty on a first date so how do I steer the conversation away from that? I hate being the one to plan a date so do I just throw out hints??

- also should I text before I get back or is it too much?

- do I just text back "hey I'm back in town" and hope he suggests a date I like?.

I'm actually pretty proud of myself because I've never been one to approach a guy- I would just wait for him to start conversation. So yea I learned you don't have to be super thirsty but just reach out enough to give the guy an opening.
Appreciate your thoughts!

 

[Lucie]

Tell him what you just told us. Tell him, "Guy from Whole Foods, I'd prefer we do something else." And then come up with what you'd like to do. You know yourself better than he does, so come up with a place you'd both enjoy. Problem solved.

If you like him, shoot him a text and say, "Hey, it's the woman from Whole Foods (I don't know your name). How's your day going?" Hit SEND

 

[Leesh]

The latter sounds good...Dont wana seem too anxious.
You suggesting something to do is fine, Im sure he'll be more than happy to do whatever it is you want. Its not really about that at this point. Ya know...That was just a good common conversation piece. Altho you opened up the convo, He was interested as well, so Im sure he'll be open to whatever.

 

[**SaSSy**]

I'll try to keep this short and sweet - cos boy can I ramble.

So I met a guy while standing in line at Whole foods this wknd. His not really my type but kind of cute. I could tell he was checking me out (sneaking glances backwards lol) so I just said Hey where do you go running since he was in work out clothes.

We got to talking and we had common interests e.g. I also go running and play tennis. He gave me his card and said text me sometime. So I texted him the next evening.

He texted back saying "we should do something this week. You prefer sports right?". I had to go out of town for a couple days so he said "let's coordinate when you get back".

So Question:
- uhmmm I really don't want to do anything sporty on a first date so how do I steer the conversation away from that? I hate being the one to plan a date so do I just throw out hints??

- also should I text before I get back or is it too much?

- do I just text back "hey I'm back in town" and hope he suggests a date I like?.

I'm actually pretty proud of myself because I've never been one to approach a guy- I would just wait for him to start conversation. So yea I learned you don't have to be super thirsty but just reach out enough to give the guy an opening.
Appreciate your thoughts!

If you don't want to sound like you're asking him out on a date, just make it sound really friendly and causal by saying to him you would prefer to do xzy instead, and suggest a day to do it. He really should suggest the day, but if he doesn't I wouldn't make it a big deal since you're just trying to get to know. Heck, he might be married so I wouldn't read too deep into anything yet.

 

[Mahoganybeauty]

I agree with Lucie, tell him that you would prefer to do something else.

When you get back, call or text him to say hi, let him know you're back in town and you would like to get together. If he asks you what you would like to do tell him that you love it when a man is a man and you love when men plan dates, therefore he can decide where to go and to let you know so you can figure out what to wear as long as it's not sports related, haha. Or something to that affect...make it a positive and light conversation but still be firm.

 

[belletropjolie]

Thanks so much for all the feed back guys! I think I will call tonight and just chit chat and see where the conversation goes. I figure if the conversation goes towards the sports , I can just say maybe next time.

 

[**SaSSy**]

Thanks so much for all the feed back guys! I think I will call tonight and just chit chat and see where the conversation goes. I figure if the conversation goes towards the sports , I can just say maybe next time.

belletropjolie now that I'm reading your original post I'm seeing he wants you to put in work for his time and attention. He gave you a card for you to text him Why didn't he take your number and say "I'll call you" or equally exchange numbers? Which sounds like you had to first get in contact with him to initiated contact, then he says call me when you get back into town (or something to that effect). IDK, homie sounds like he's either involved with someone and looking for a "friend" for the summer, or just not feeling it that much.

I would text him tonight instead of calling (since that's how he wanted you to first contact him) then let him move it up to talking on the phone. Let him lead.

 

[Whimsy]

I'd text him when i'm back in town saying what days you're free and let him know for date #1 you prefer something where you can sit and get to know each other.... or whatever it is you do prefer, over something sporty.

 

[hopeful]

I would text, let him know when he can call you to finish setting up plans. Honestly for the first date I'd go with his suggestion. Let him plan everything and go with the flow. If he suggests something outrageous, say maybe something else, but otherwise I'd let him take the lead with calling and date planning. After the first date, if you like him, make a suggestion for what you'd like to do. JMO. Good luck.

 

[belletropjolie]

Mini Update

Just wanted to say thanks again for the great input and also give you a mini-update.

I ended up texting him when I got back and let him know I was free on the weekend. I decided that if he tried to suggest sports, I would decline and suggest some thing else.

So he suggested a picnic in the park which is up my alley since it was more relaxed. I had a GREAT time, he was super easy to talk to and just all around interesting. I found out he was Norwegian which I didn't pick up on - great schools (Harvard, LSE), interesting job etc.

Anyway, he texted about an hour after we met, saying he had a great time and we should meet up Thursday in my neighbourhood. Not getting overly excited but we'll see where this goes.

Only negative is - he's a texter and takes FOREVER to respond to texts . He kind of referenced that the number I have (on his card) was his work cell phone but still: . I don't like guys to be clingy but I'mma need to see a little more effort before I'm sold.

 

[belletropjolie]

@belletropjolie now that I'm reading your original post I'm seeing he wants you to put in work for his time and attention. He gave you a card for you to text him Why didn't he take your number and say "I'll call you" or equally exchange numbers? Which sounds like you had to first get in contact with him to initiated contact, then he says call me when you get back into town (or something to that effect). IDK, homie sounds like he's either involved with someone and looking for a "friend" for the summer, or just not feeling it that much.

I would text him tonight instead of calling (since that's how he wanted you to first contact him) then let him move it up to talking on the phone. Let him lead.

**SaSSy** I just wanted to say I really appreciated what you said in this post and also this gem from the "LHCF Big Sister" thread:
"The simplistic advice I would give so few follow is, to not spend so much energy and time with a man who is JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. If you have to put even 51% into someone showing interest towards you, it's not wroth it. It took me years, but now it's like second nature for me."

I 've always felt that any man should really earn my attention, time, affection etc. so I was really glad to see your posts basically affirm what should be the norm. While I enjoyed ol dude's company, if he doesn't put in the work then he may just remain in friend zone.

 

[belletropjolie]

@belletropjolie now that I'm reading your original post I'm seeing he wants you to put in work for his time and attention. He gave you a card for you to text him Why didn't he take your number and say "I'll call you" or equally exchange numbers? Which sounds like you had to first get in contact with him to initiated contact, then he says call me when you get back into town (or something to that effect). IDK, homie sounds like he's either involved with someone and looking for a "friend" for the summer, or just not feeling it that much.

I would text him tonight instead of calling (since that's how he wanted you to first contact him) then let him move it up to talking on the phone. Let him lead.

**SaSSy** I just wanted to say I really appreciated what you said in this post and also this gem from the "LHCF Big Sister" thread:
"The simplistic advice I would give so few follow is, to not spend so much energy and time with a man who is JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. If you have to put even 51% into someone showing interest towards you, it's not wroth it. It took me years, but now it's like second nature for me."

I 've always felt that any man should really earn my attention, time, affection etc. so I was really glad to see your posts basically affirm what should be the norm. While I enjoyed ol dude's company, if he doesn't put in the work then he may just remain in friend zone.

 

[**SaSSy**]

Mini Update

Just wanted to say thanks again for the great input and also give you a mini-update.

I ended up texting him when I got back and let him know I was free on the weekend. I decided that if he tried to suggest sports, I would decline and suggest some thing else.

So he suggested a picnic in the park which is up my alley since it was more relaxed. I had a GREAT time, he was super easy to talk to and just all around interesting. I found out he was Norwegian which I didn't pick up on - great schools (Harvard, LSE), interesting job etc.

Anyway, he texted about an hour after we met, saying he had a great time and we should meet up Thursday in my neighbourhood. Not getting overly excited but we'll see where this goes.

Only negative is - he's a texter and takes FOREVER to respond to texts . He kind of referenced that the number I have (on his card) was his work cell phone but still: . I don't like guys to be clingy but I'mma need to see a little more effort before I'm sold.

@belletropjolie sounds like your date was a success, hope it continues to go well. I hate a man who prefers to text over using the phone. That usually tells me he's not complete single and could be texting me while he's with another woman. And when a man takes forever and a day to text me back, that's a red flag he's not that into me and not serious with getting to know me, which is an indicator he's seeing other women and might even have a gf/wife. Watch out for the red flags.