What Would You Do If This Were You

Foxglove

Foxglove

A drop of golden sun


Closeup of the email
DjHsAJYWwAYBrOt.jpg:large
 
Sounds like an "all about me" bride that expects everyone to be a part of every aspect of the wedding and not simply the wedding itself. That's fine, but most people don't have the time, desire or patience for that anymore.

I'd end the friendship, keep the jumpsuit, post photos of me wearing it somewhere more fun than a wedding and not think about Alex again.

Alex is tacky anyway. Jumpsuits for the Bridesmaids? Puhleeeze.
 
Hmm this all depends on what you mean by leave early, how much notice you gave me and how close we are. If you gonna walk down the aisle then leave after the vows then I understand why she did this. At my wedding photos were taken throughout as a group and I would want everyone there. It would have left one of my groomsmen with no one in the photos with him and an empty spot at my table with the wedding party. Friendship would be over on MY end if u knew this and waited to tell me until the last minute which it seems like she did if flight and outfit are already purchased. I really see nothing wrong with the ask.
 
Last edited:
DST1913 said:
Hmm this all depends on what you mean by leave early, how much notice you gave me and how close we are. If you gonna walk down the aisle then leave after the vows then I understand why she did this. At my wedding photos were taken throughout as a group and I would want everyone there. It would have left one of my groomsmen with no one in the photos with him and an empty spot at myung table with the wedding party. Friendship would be over on MY end if u knew this and waited to tell me until the last minute which it seems like she did if flight and outfit are already purchased. I really see nothing wrong with the ask.
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Maybe but you’re being really generous assuming she’s dipping out ASAP as soon as they walk down the aisle.

I’d bet money the bride wanted this other person in the wedding and is using this as an excuse to make it happen. I’m reminded of conversations I’ve had with women who’ve said they don’t want any overweight people in the wedding party. This scenario feels just as superficial.
 
I don’t believe she bought a ticket to an event that she’s participating in knowing she can’t stay for the whole thing. I think she has to leave before the reception is over which is a completely different thing. After the first hour or two it’s just a party and it’s fair game for her to leave early for a flight.

This should’ve been handled over the phone.

Has Jet Blue responded to her SOS?
 
I'm not into weddings at all, but...

You can't be a major player (best man, bridesmaid etc.. and not be available for the whole wedding day). I find that a very odd. Unless the wedding was short notice and she just did the best with flights. Can't fault her for that.

Usually though you have more than enough time to book flights and request the next day off work. If you cant afford it, have important exams around that date, or a boss that wont let you take the time off I think you have to say early on.

I need a timeline, backstory and more information. What I would do would depend on my part in this mess.
 
nysister said:
Sounds like an "all about me" bride that expects everyone to be a part of every aspect of the wedding and not simply the wedding itself. That's fine, but most people don't have the time, desire or patience for that anymore.

I'd end the friendship, keep the jumpsuit, post photos of me wearing it somewhere more fun than a wedding and not think about Alex again.

Alex is tacky anyway. Jumpsuits for the Bridesmaids? Puhleeeze.
Click to expand...

This is exactly what I would do.
 
Get the money first, send her the jumpsuit and enjoy my life. That's not the only wedding and a royal wedding it is not. Just move on with life and be blessed with the blessings that God has waiting ahead for me to walk into. If the wedding wasn't that important for me to alter my schedule for all of its events, then surely I can't waste further time with hard feelings about Alex's email message / requests.
 
I guess I'm in the minority here. I think the bride is being generous and really trying to put the blame on herself saying she's asking her to step down instead of what she really wants to say which is "your schedule is getting in the way of my wedding and you aren't living up to your bridesmaid duties!" and I don't see a thing wrong with that. It's her wedding and if you cannot commit to everything that involves being a bridesmaid, then it is fully acceptable to say no because once you say yes you better be around. Don't say yes and then every week I have to get a text saying why you will only be available for part of what is planned or won't be able to attend at all. The specifics in the email about "at least the full weekend" of the bachelorette party makes me think she probably only came to that for a day, the mention of the Sunday night flight makes me think maybe they have something planned the day after (even if it's just meeting for breakfast) and these are all important things for this particular bride and she will be short a bridesmaid. So sorry Courtney you have to step down.

The only issue I see is, I'm sure she wanted to kick her out of the wedding sooner but probably didn't really have any other options so decided to put up with it until someone else said they could fill in. In doing that, this girl ended up getting a plane ticket when she could have either 1. ended up getting a later and/or cheaper flight since she would now only be a guest or 2 decided to not go at all. That is the only issue I have with what the bride did. The timing. Not the request itself. If you can't be involved, then don't say yes. I have turned down the offer a couple of times for this reason and advised my sister to do the same for one of her friends. My sister ended up doing it, stretching herself thin and her and this girl aren't friends anymore behind all of this. I told my sister that if she couldn't commit she shouldn't have agreed to do it (but only after I gave that girl the perfect curse out for how she was acting and talking to my sister :lol:). Courtney needs to send the jumpsuit and get her money back.
 
BridesMAID, means you at the beck and call of the Bride till the Bride says you can go.

If you are close enough to be asked to be a bridesmaid then you probably know the personality of the bride and how much slack she will cut you during such a pressurised occasion for her.
 
I think the bride is being very reasonable. I understand the bridesmaid being hurt but she’s being very dramatic. From the email it sounds like the bridesmaid cannot be fully committed to her role. No one likes being downgraded but someone had to take a hit — the bridesmaid (being downgraded) or the bride (feeling disappointed and frustrated). It’s not unreasonable for the bride to want her wedding party to participate in the activities that are important to her.
 
Both the bride and former bridesmaid are right. The bride wants a full 100% for her wedding and when you agree to be bridesmaid you're committing yourself to that. The bride however would've known that her friend is pursuing a MBA out of state. With that comes a lot of commitment and completing your MBA trumps being a bridesmaid any day. However it's unfair to have spent money and now it's moot (I'm assuming she spent money and time on other pre bridal festivities).
 
Hmmmm
See Idk. All of my party members couldn’t be everywhere- jobs, children etc. I knew this when I picked them as I’m sure bride knew of her friend.
I’d get my money. Send the dress and keep it moving. Probably wouldn’t go to the wedding. Your wedding is everything to you, not everybody else.
 
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