winterinatl
All natural!
We were discussing, in an off topic thread, why people divorce, and what were acceptable reasons.
Many said that simply being "not happy" was in fact a good enough reason....but I don't necessarily agree.
Here's what I (and anatomicallycorrect) wrote about why:
Quote:
Originally Posted by anatomicallycorrect
I don't think "not happy anymore" is a valid reason to get a divorce. JMO, but I think you need to be willing to work hard to make a marriage work, and no you're not always going to be happy. I recently ended a relationship w/a guy who talked the talk when things were good, but is always AWOL when things were bad. Good riddance. This is the man who would probably divorce me for the reason above. Things aren't going to be rosy all the time. People need to learn that.
So really, what is happiness, in the context of a serious, long term relationship like marriage?
Many said that simply being "not happy" was in fact a good enough reason....but I don't necessarily agree.
Here's what I (and anatomicallycorrect) wrote about why:
Quote:
Originally Posted by anatomicallycorrect
I don't think "not happy anymore" is a valid reason to get a divorce. JMO, but I think you need to be willing to work hard to make a marriage work, and no you're not always going to be happy. I recently ended a relationship w/a guy who talked the talk when things were good, but is always AWOL when things were bad. Good riddance. This is the man who would probably divorce me for the reason above. Things aren't going to be rosy all the time. People need to learn that.
This is my thinking. I want to marry a man that understands this...the elated feeling of "happiness" isn't going to be there all the time, and as someone else said, marriage can be boring and repetitive sometimes. Shoot, that is a safe and secure relationship, lol. Having a good man will not have all those emotional ups and downs that some women seem to get addicted to.
Anyway, I want my future husband to be able to work through when he is feeling unhappy, or when I am feeling unhappy. My parents have been married for 35 years. I clearly remember a period in their marriage where they were not friends at all. But, it got better. They stuck it through. I'm glad they did; they are best friends and I don't think could really survive w/o each other. Plus I really see what it's like to see a relationship THROUGH.
What is happiness, anyway? I heard/read somewhere that it is an emotion that isn't meant to be felt continuously, somewhat like anger...but you can feel safe and content. Is this what people mean by "happiness?" Contentment?
ETA: @ Jfemme, Ella, and Nikkivale: those examples to me are not people just lacking happiness, they are living a true MISERABLE life, probably in abuse (emotional, verbal). Those are just abusive relationships, pure and simple. To me this is different than someone who up and says, "My man isn't exciting anymore. I am bored; I'm not happy. We should divorce". Huh?
So really, what is happiness, in the context of a serious, long term relationship like marriage?
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