What is being single all about?

[Penspringz]

I have recently come out of a relationship that left me slighly hurt but I know that the break up was for the best, in terms of my relationship with Christ and my overall sanity and wellbeing. In my opinion, I am simply not ready for what a relationship is really about e.g committment, intimacy, marriage.
However, now that I am single, I don't know how to appreciate it. What is so good about being single? What am I supposed to be doing with myself? Am I supposed to be preparing myself for marriage, in terms of developing myself into someone that another person would want to be with?

Please share your ideas with me.

 

[dicapr]

I have recently come out of a relationship that left me slighly hurt but I know that the break up was for the best, in terms of my relationship with Christ and my overall sanity and wellbeing. In my opinion, I am simply not ready for what a relationship is really about e.g committment, intimacy, marriage.
However, now that I am single, I don't know how to appreciate it. What is so good about being single? What am I supposed to be doing with myself? Am I supposed to be preparing myself for marriage, in terms of developing myself into someone that another person would want to be with?

Please share your ideas with me.

For me, being single is a time focus on the Lord and to work on my character and become more sure of who I am. I do want to get married, but I think I have been focusing on that too much to the hurt of my relationship with God and lessening the enjoyment I have out of life. Being single to me now means Freedom. Free to explore and refine myself so that when I am in a relationship, I have a stronger sense of self and self worth. It is a time to make yourself someone you can love.

 

[Aveena]

For me being single has been a journey of developing my character/personality/habits/values/spirituality that make me a better person for my own benefit. I've worked hard to be a person that I can be proud of. A person that I would want to be with. I know it seems like a lot of I's but if you are going to be by yourself you might as well like you. That's how I've dealt with it least. Of course I would like to get married but being single isn't the worst thing in the world. I grown to enjoy the freedom of being me.

Once I decorated my place as girly as I could...just becasue I could without feedback ..hehe of course I got tired of it after a year and changed to something else but while I ws changing it I remember thinking, "Lord, one day I'll be married and will have to consult with the hubby on everything" at that moment I appreciated the experience of not only living alone but loving it all the while looking forward to new phases of life..ei hopefully marriage one day.

 

[Shimmie]

Pensprinz, first of all, I'm sorry about the break-up in your recent relationship. I thank God for filling every void in your life with His loving presence.

Both Fran and Dicapr gave you wonderful advise. I know that during my time of being single I would not trade for anything. Is marriage in my future? Most definitely. For during this time, the Holy Spirit has been preparing me for such, by developing my relationship with the Lord, first and growing me up.

I've learned much and I am still learning and not just spiritual lessons. I'm learning more and more about who I am. I'm learning to take better care of myself both inside and out (not just hair care ). I'm better at budgeting my finances; setting my home in order; and most of all, being at peace with myself and with God.

So keeping your focus on the things of God is the greatest gift of being a single person. It may not seem like it, but this is a wonderful journey and no one can take this experience away from you.

Now as for Fran's comments about 'girly' decor... Once married, I'm still going to have lot's and lots of girly and lacy, silky, velvet items as part of our home decor....as these will be on me and he will love it.

Just wanted to make you smile; for even once married, we still get to keep the wonderful treasures of ourselves and enjoy them together, as One.

God bless you, angel. Healing has already begun. Amen.

 

[firecracker]

Enjoying quality time, seeking knowledge, positive affirmation with your real man GOD and carrying all that you learned in encountered thru out real life relationships. In fact your never really single cuz the first man should be him anyways that other man was second but at times we can forget that.

 

[HWAY]

Great answers.

 

[tuffCOOKiE]

Great, great answers. I recently found out that being single is about focusing on yourself. Finding out stuff about yourself you didnt know. Developing character, patience and values. I'm not saying anything new that these women haven't.

 

[msjazzy09]

This is interesting because I always feel like I am a different "single" than others around me. I have four children, and the desire of my heart is to be a complete family: husband, wife, and children. SO while I know myself and know there is always room for improvement, I am not "happily single". I know that it all comes in God's time and I can't rush that. I live my day-to-day just me and the kids, and I'm not all mopey or depressed about it, but I want the whole picture. Unlike others, I won't mind discussing decorating ideas or major household purchases with my husband.
The best thing about being single is getting to truly know yourself -deep down, good and bad. Enjoy this time, because there is always more to know. If you are also childless, that's even more time for you to devote to your relationship with God!

 

[p31woman]

At first I was resisting my singleness, but then God began to show me that this was my cultivation period. During this time, God is allowing me to learn more about myself and what I want in a mate, as well as take me through situations that will better prepare me for my mate and our relationship. I am actually enjoying my "me time"...lol

God is very precise and deliberate with His actions though. Even in my singleness, He has however blessed me with the friendship of about 5 great, Godly men. I guess you could say I have about 5 boyfriends..j/k They take GREAT care of me and I thank God for them daily.

I can say that you should emerse yourself in God and your interests. Spend time with family and friends and reconnect with yourself.

I found that reading books like...A Jewel in His Crown by Priscilla Shriver and God's Promises for Single Women by T.D. Jakes helped me TREMENDOUSLY.

I know it is easier said than done but trust me...IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN TOO!

I know it's hard to see it but it really is a blessing! (I would have never believed I would EVER type that...lol)

 

[NIK]

I agree with all of the answers posted.
I appreciate being single. Though I struggle sometimes since I never have been romantically and geniunely loved by a man.

I desire to be married but never having had someone love me like that makes it really hard. Also, having a negative perception of men and their intentions makes it hard to keep my dream alive of being married.

For those women, who once had a negative perception of men because of their experiences, how did you overcome that to allow to receive a mate that God will send for you while single?

 

[cocoberry10]

Being single is about developing a closer relationship and dependence on God. Also developing as a woman, and learning how to be a wife (if that's God's will for you).

God has really been testing me to become more dependent on others. I grew up in a house with 2 parents, and a father who provided. Because he could financially, he paid for things (college, activities) and has taken care of his 3 daughters, but I don't like asking for help. However, I have just finished law school, and am looking for a real job, and have had to lean on my parents for assistance, but I really hate it. I feel like at this time in my life, I should be able to take care of myself. But God is showing me that I can't make it through this life alone, and I have to start trusting others and leaning on others, and letting others bless me.

So, ask God to show you what he wants you to see in this time of singleness and trust that He will

 

[BrickbyBrick]

Freedom. Self-Learning. Self-Awareness. And the process of finding someone who wholeheartedly lets you continue to practice this.

 

[cocoberry10]

Creflo Dollar has been doing a series on singleness, marriage and relationships. I've found it to be really good. You should visit his website.

 

[fivefoursweetie]

I have been faithfully attending a Singles ministry for the last 9 months. Since then, I have fully been able to appreciate being single. I now realize that there are a lot of things that I should be doing while I am single.
The Bible says, in 1 Corinthians 7:32 that "...He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife." So our first and formost focus as a single person is to please the Lord.
Furthermore, think on this matter: In the beginning, God made a SINGLE man first. If it was so important for us to be married to be in his perfect will, he would have made a man and wofe at the same time. Adam had a season of singleness, whre he spent time with God on an assignment given by God for him (to name all of the animals and have dominion over them). Additionally, the 2nd Adam, Jesus, was also single. Paul (a very powerful man of God) was single. All through out the Bible, God used single people mightely.
If you want to know what to do in your season of singleness, just ask God.

For more inforamtion on the Singles Ministry I attend, you can visit www.singlespleasingthelord.com And you can also order her book "Preparing for Marriage Material"...it may help answer some of your questions and give you peace and enjoyment during your single season.

I pray that this helps.