What if you don't have a SO?!

[GeauXavi]

Sooo I got inspired by the "Does your SO like your hair?" thread...and I got to thinking...

A lot of the ladies said that their SO prefers their hair longer/ straighter...vs when they have kinky and/or short hair....But of course because of their unconditional love for their ladies...they deal with it, and even learn to love it...since it's a part of the person they love


So what about us single ladies? It almost seems as if we care about attracting a man (well the majority of them) we have to keep our hair long and straight...or at least transition long enough to have long hair when we bc

Do you feel that you do/will/would attract a different kind of man with a different hairstyle?

Everyone feel free to chime in...relaxed, natural, transitioners, long haired, short haired, and in between

(my two cents...) When I went natural in '06 I BC'd after an 8 week transition...in Louisiana...in college...and in a sorority where the stereotype is long/swinging/straight hair... I must say that a lot of the sistas looked up to me...many have gone natural now... but the college guys looked at me like wtf did you do to your hair?! Now...the hood guys loved it Now that I'm permed and past SL...when I go back to visit all of the guys who stopped talking to me while i'm natural look at me like you look good girl! Go figure

 

[loulou82]

That was a funny story. Back then they didn't want you...

I'm in a relationship but I met my SO while in kinky twists so he had no idea what was hidden. He's been supportive of my hair decisions though. Even when I flat ironed, he said "Why did you did you straighten it just to pin it up?? You should wash it and make it nappy again."

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I personally feel that only a very vain man will only look at hair as a requirement for approaching a woman. In my college (mississippi) I noticed a lot of shorter haired women would get approached more than a LOT of the longer haired girls for several reasons, mostly personality and being outgoing. I really think that most guys, despite the vain ones that seem to be everywhere, look at the total package and may approach a lady even if her hair isn't exactly what he would prefer.

 

[Whisper]

This is funny because I was recently thinking of getting bangs again!! I think it flattered my face. I had lots of offers dates then. My hair was bone straight, but not that long. When I used to wear wet and wavy individuals I get a lot of attention as well. Now that I think of it, when it is curly (weave) a lot of men especially from other races take notice. Its a toss up.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

I think if I didn't have an SO I would of transitioned longer. But other wise I think I would do everything else (including the short cut I did a couple months ago) just like I've been doing it. My hair decisions are made with very little consideration to what my SO will say or think because when we first got together and I was freaking about my hair he told me that it didn't matter what i did because my hair's not why he wanted to be with me

 

[GeauXavi]

thanks for the responses, ladies!

i also think that it's more than a texture thing... it's a "visual thing" if that makes sense... like i was watching Millionaire Matchmaker and she basically told a redhead to dye her hair, and a curly-haired lady to straighten her hair, and a short-haired lady to get extensions... And she was like "Hey...you can listen to me or not...but I'm the expert, and I know what men want...I know how to attract a millionaire..."

So I was thinking does long/straight hair attract a millionaire? like is that what she was trying to say? I don't know...

Also...I was reading on askmen.com, and most men said that they prefer long hair... but when asked what "long hair" is...they said anything past NL...this was a poll of men of all races btw...



just more to add to the discussion...lol

 

[GeauXavi]

also...lol

what about ladies that are always bunning? that's another thing...if you have plenty of hair...but it's not out very often...Do you feel like you attract more men with your hair "out"?

i always feel like i have to compensate with my makeup when my hair is weird during stretching or i'm bunning...

 

[Always~Wear~Joy]

also...lol

what about ladies that are always bunning? that's another thing...if you have plenty of hair...but it's not out very often...Do you feel like you attract more men with your hair "out"?

i always feel like i have to compensate with my makeup when my hair is weird during stretching or i'm bunning...

yep, for me it's makeup & cute/funky earrings

 

[Forever in Bloom]

thanks for the responses, ladies!

i also think that it's more than a texture thing... it's a "visual thing" if that makes sense... like i was watching Millionaire Matchmaker and she basically told a redhead to dye her hair, and a curly-haired lady to straighten her hair, and a short-haired lady to get extensions... And she was like "Hey...you can listen to me or not...but I'm the expert, and I know what men want...I know how to attract a millionaire..."

So I was thinking does long/straight hair attract a millionaire? like is that what she was trying to say? I don't know...

Also...I was reading on askmen.com, and most men said that they prefer long hair... but when asked what "long hair" is...they said anything past NL...this was a poll of men of all races btw...



just more to add to the discussion...lol

I remember seeing this episode when she said that. My first thought was, "Oh no she didn't", but then I realized this was probably what the majority of her millionaire clients say they want in a woman, not her own words. I guess all I'll be able to get is a "thousand-aire" then

 

[charmtreese]

Well, I had my hair down for 5 days straight last week and I got so much attention from guys...now Im back in my bun and Im not getting as much play

I may have to find me a wig to wear on the weekends so I can snag me a man, cause Im not stopping my Protective Styling.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

thanks for the responses, ladies!

i also think that it's more than a texture thing... it's a "visual thing" if that makes sense... like i was watching Millionaire Matchmaker and she basically told a redhead to dye her hair, and a curly-haired lady to straighten her hair, and a short-haired lady to get extensions... And she was like "Hey...you can listen to me or not...but I'm the expert, and I know what men want...I know how to attract a millionaire..."

So I was thinking does long/straight hair attract a millionaire? like is that what she was trying to say? I don't know...

Also...I was reading on askmen.com, and most men said that they prefer long hair... but when asked what "long hair" is...they said anything past NL...this was a poll of men of all races btw...



just more to add to the discussion...lol

thats a bunch of BS. I know from experience She can attract a millionaire...but can she keep one?

Anywho I attract all sorts of attention based on my hair...primarily because no one here is into natural hair styles in my city..so I stand out against stright haired girls. Now maybe if I were in DC or ATL I would blend in better.

 

[RegaLady]

I dunno! I got more attention wearing my short hair do! Men would compliment me more about my face, and even my cut! When I went to long weave, I got looks but no compliments. Hood men and men from other ethnicities, found me attractive with the weave, but black business men and older men complimented me with it short. I can say now, wearing the weaves and the PS I don't get much compliments. But, maybe if it were real, and I carried that same sassy attitude, than I would get it. I dunno, not that I am looking.... DH just likes it real! I've always wondered if I would have grown it out long time ago if I were on the market.

 

[RegaLady]

thats a bunch of BS. I know from experience She can attract a millionaire...but can she keep one?

Anywho I attract all sorts of attention based on my hair...primarily because no one here is into natural hair styles in my city..so I stand out against stright haired girls. Now maybe if I were in DC or ATL I would blend in better.

I agree! I think she fits the mold, and she is having a hard time finding someone!

 

[cmesweet]

In 2004 I did the bc and I was single. Most of the guys I knew were very supportive and I found even more men of all ethnicities trying to get to me I was in a college as well and alot of the Black college guys questioned why more black women didnt go natural. The guy I was trying that I was somewhat talking to really enjoyed my TWA. None of them were rude to me or asked me to straighten it.

My present bf found me with natural hair and loves it whe i wear it out, which is rare. I have never straightened it, I may wear a straight wig but he usually asks me to take it off.

 

[tocktick]

i don't think my pool of interested men would increase if my hair was straight. actually my big natural hair gets me more attention from men than it ever did when my hair was thin and scraggly.

i can honestly say that any negative reaction towards my hair from men was due to it being short, not natural. the same guys who looked at my hair like erplexed when i bc'd are no longer having the same reaction. when it grew, their hands were in there and i got many compliments.

with that said, guys meet me with either natural or braided up hair, never relaxed looking hair since i don't do weaves or flat-iron. therefore, if future SO didn't meet with me straight hair, he can't miss that look on me and shouldn't be stupid enough to make comments suggesting i permanently straighten, even if his previous GF's did.

 

[JustKiya]

I personally feel that only a very vain man will only look at hair as a requirement for approaching a woman. In my college (mississippi) I noticed a lot of shorter haired women would get approached more than a LOT of the longer haired girls for several reasons, mostly personality and being outgoing. I really think that most guys, despite the vain ones that seem to be everywhere, look at the total package and may approach a lady even if her hair isn't exactly what he would prefer.

Vain.
Shallow.
Superficial.
Not worth my time.

If a man wouldn't approach me because he thinks my hair is too short, good. When I was looking for someone to be in a relationship with, I wanted them to be attracted to ME, not to something external that I could 'fake' (and that many women do) so easily as long hair.

I prefer men over 6', chocolate brown, with a lot of hair.

My husband is 5'9, high yellow, and bald most of the time.

He prefers women a size 10-14, light-skinned, with big hair.

I'm more along the lines of size 18-20, dark brown, and I keep my hair tightly contained (was in dreads when he met me).

I'm SOOO glad neither of us were stupid enough to get stuck on hair.

 

[GeauXavi]

See...that's a great story justkiya!

I think it may also be the avenue in which you meet the man that makes the difference... like maybe through church or mutual friends or work...somehow if he gets to know who you are first, past just what you look like on the outside...the "superficial" or "vain" ideals do not come into play as much...

Now if you are at a bar/club/supermarket/gas station....etc...i think that your outer appearance makes a difference...that's all they have to go on...you may get that extra look and even approach if you are their "type"

Btw....on Millionaire Matchmaker...she couldn't get the man she was with to commit to her...go figure...lol So i guess she attracted him but COULDN'T keep him...lol...u ladies are funny

 

[bermudabeauty]

Personally I think if you wear your hair and wear it well no matter what the style that brothas will be drowling over you. I think it is all about confidence and how you carry yourself. I have had 100s of hairstyles, I don't know if I have had the same style twice. I have always switched my style up and I have never had a problem attracting men, black, white, porteriquean or asian. Not conceded I'm just speaking on experience. All you ladies are gorgeous and should be making these brothas

 

[RegaLady]

Personally I think if you wear your hair and wear it well no matter what the style that brothas will be drowling over you. I think it is all about confidence and how you carry yourself. I have had 100s of hairstyles, I don't know if I have had the same style twice. I have always switched my style up and I have never had a problem attracting men, black, white, porteriquean or asian. Not conceded I'm just speaking on experience. All you ladies are gorgeous and should be making these brothas [/qu ote]
I agree!
Oh you are pretty, so I could see that!

I just don't feel confident with weave, and I am sorry but, it shows! So maybe it is not about length, as it is my own hair!
DH liked my hair when he first saw me. I had a press n curl, and later went into a medium braid out. I attracted him with natural kinky hair. So while some men will always look, a man who really will like the package will approach. Also, I think men are simple, smart, and visual, they notice when something flatters you well!

 

[Menina Preta]

i don't think my pool of interested men would increase if my hair was straight. actually my big natural hair gets me more attention from men than it ever did when my hair was thin and scraggly.

i can honestly say that any negative reaction towards my hair from men was due to it being short, not natural. the same guys who looked at my hair like erplexed when i bc'd are no longer having the same reaction. when it grew, their hands were in there and i got many compliments.

with that said, guys meet me with either natural or braided up hair, never relaxed looking hair since i don't do weaves or flat-iron. therefore, if future SO didn't meet with me straight hair, he can't miss that look on me and shouldn't be stupid enough to make comments suggesting i permanently straighten, even if his previous GF's did.

OT: Your hair grew so much and so quickly based on your timeline in your siggy. Very pretty and lush!

 

[BklynHeart]

I dunno! I got more attention wearing my short hair do! Men would compliment me more about my face, and even my cut! When I went to long weave, I got looks but no compliments. Hood men and men from other ethnicities, found me attractive with the weave, but black business men and older men complimented me with it short. I can say now, wearing the weaves and the PS I don't get much compliments. But, maybe if it were real, and I carried that same sassy attitude, than I would get it. I dunno, not that I am looking.... DH just likes it real! I've always wondered if I would have grown it out long time ago if I were on the market.

Probably shows your pretty face off! One of my friends only wears a short do and has men coming out the woodwork all the time. I think if you're pretty, doesn't matter what length your hair is you will attract attention.

 

[joyandfaith]

This is a great thread!

My SO prefers my hair natural (or fuzzy as he says). His favorite is washed and in a curly puff. I usually get most of my attention from guys when my hair is in a ponytail, whether its a natural, curly ponytail or a flat-ironed, straight ponytail.

On the other hand, I do feel that women get more attention from men when wearing their hair long and straight. I used to wear weaves and I HATED when men would ask me "what are you?" They would then follow it up with some asinine comment about my bone structure and hair being so pretty that I must be mixed with something exotic. I would say "I'm black mixed with some more black" and they would have a shocked look on their face. I decided to stop playing into their false fantasy.

 

[tocktick]

OT: Your hair grew so much and so quickly based on your timeline in your siggy. Very pretty and lush!

thanks so much . i get average growth though (lots of stretched out hair in the siggy).

 

[danigurl18]

I've noticed that I get hit on by more intellectual types with my TWA.. Now that I have kinky twists, the hood rats are back calling lol

 

[chelleyrock]

Shoooooot. I get approached more when my hair is looking a H.A.M. (sweated out curls, hair sticking up on my head from the wind, etc)

 

[Filmatic]

Personally I think if you wear your hair and wear it well no matter what the style that brothas will be drowling over you. I think it is all about confidence and how you carry yourself. I have had 100s of hairstyles, I don't know if I have had the same style twice. I have always switched my style up and I have never had a problem attracting men, black, white, porteriquean or asian. Not conceded I'm just speaking on experience. All you ladies are gorgeous and should be making these brothas

I agree, I've gotten play on short hair, medium, blue hair, pink hair. I think it's all attitude. Walk with your head up and a confident aire, men will look and approach. I have a short wig that I wear now and I get hit on from men of all nationalities. They say it brings out my eyes. Go figure.

 

[RegaLady]

Probably shows your pretty face off! One of my friends only wears a short do and has men coming out the woodwork all the time. I think if you're pretty, doesn't matter what length your hair is you will attract attention.

Awww, thanks you! I will look just as great when it is grown out. But I truely miss those compliments. Shallow, I know!
But, I never take away that men like long hair, and some just don't care. But,I think it is also more in the attitiude a woman carries, and how comfortable she is in what she is wearing. Owning a style is the thing!
I nag Dh about what style he likes better, he says when the clothes come off, men really just don't care.

 

[RegaLady]

I've noticed that I get hit on by more intellectual types with my TWA.. Now that I have kinky twists, the hood rats are back calling lol

I rocked the kinky twists when they came out, and they used to be looked at as a 'natural' hairstyle. Now, they have been so poplular in the streets...not that there is anything wrong with that!

 

[BostonMaria]

I always hid behind long hair so this was one of my fears when I relaxed my hair. I didn't make the final plunge to go natural until I married my husband. I didn't dare go natural in my 20's for fear that a guy would think my transitioning hair was a beehive. Plus I didn't know how to transition anyway. I knew my husband would be supportive and since he has 4b hair that he keeps in an afro or braids I figured it would be ok for me to go natural. He was sad when I cut my hair, he likes it long.. but now that its APL again he's happy. I do notice that he likes it better when I straighten, but I'm not about to burn my hair just for him LOL esta loco

 

[GeauXavi]

Awww, thanks you! I will look just as great when it is grown out. But I truely miss those compliments. Shallow, I know!
But, I never take away that men like long hair, and some just don't care. But,I think it is also more in the attitiude a woman carries, and how comfortable she is in what she is wearing. Owning a style is the thing!
I nag Dh about what style he likes better, he says when the clothes come off, men really just don't care.

lol!!!! aint that the truth