What if you don't have a SO?!

[GeauXavi]

I always hid behind long hair so this was one of my fears when I relaxed my hair. I didn't make the final plunge to go natural until I married my husband. I didn't dare go natural in my 20's for fear that a guy would think my transitioning hair was a beehive. Plus I didn't know how to transition anyway. I knew my husband would be supportive and since he has 4b hair that he keeps in an afro or braids I figured it would be ok for me to go natural. He was sad when I cut my hair, he likes it long.. but now that its APL again he's happy. I do notice that he likes it better when I straighten, but I'm not about to burn my hair just for him LOL esta loco

See...that's how i feel...I DON'T know how to transition...like i said... i chopped at 8 weeks last time ...I don't think i'm up for another drastic bc...been there, done that....But I DO wish that I could wave a magic wand and have a head full of natural hair...no BC, No transition

 

[chichibean]

This is a great thread!

My SO prefers my hair natural (or fuzzy as he says). His favorite is washed and in a curly puff. I usually get most of my attention from guys when my hair is in a ponytail, whether its a natural, curly ponytail or a flat-ironed, straight ponytail.

On the other hand, I do feel that women get more attention from men when wearing their hair long and straight. I used to wear weaves and I HATED when men would ask me "what are you?" They would then follow it up with some asinine comment about my bone structure and hair being so pretty that I must be mixed with something exotic. I would say "I'm black mixed with some more black" and they would have a shocked look on their face. I decided to stop playing into their false fantasy.

Now that's funny

 

[Energist]

I will say this, that when I was natural I used to attract a lot of Latino and White men. Since it's been straight it is Latino and Black men. I'm married now so me no care what's lookin' at me, but it is interesting...

 

[krissyprissy]

I may have to find me a wig to wear on the weekends so I can snag me a man, cause Im not stopping my Protective Styling.

I'm with you on this. I going to buy a instant weave wig so I can snag a man too. I dont think I will never stop protective syling until I reach my goal of MBL hair. But it's a shame that I cant pull a man with my librarian bun

 

[lexi84]

Girl dont worry about that because its not how you wear your hair. Its about how YOU are. My DH approached me on the worst hair day ever. I had it in a bun, but my edges were poking out the sides of the bun was falling apart in the back plus I was sweaty and everything because I had just got finished working out. I was a mess. So imagine my surprise when he approached me. I was like, "boy please!" I thought he was tryin to be funny.

So later on I asked him what made him approach me on that horrible day...he told me that I had a cute face. I guess he didnt notice my hair was a complete mess.

Moral of the story: you want to attact a man that doesnt care how you wear your hair.

 

[JustKiya]

Moral of the story: you want to attact a man that doesnt care how you wear your hair.

DH approached me because he saw me reading while waiting for the bus. I was hot, sweaty, and in a bad mood.

 

[bermudabeauty]

Personally I think if you wear your hair and wear it well no matter what the style that brothas will be drowling over you. I think it is all about confidence and how you carry yourself. I have had 100s of hairstyles, I don't know if I have had the same style twice. I have always switched my style up and I have never had a problem attracting men, black, white, porteriquean or asian. Not conceded I'm just speaking on experience. All you ladies are gorgeous and should be making these brothas [/qu ote]
I agree!
Oh you are pretty, so I could see that!

aaawh thanks for your compliment boo.

 

[SouthernStunner]

I personally feel that only a very vain man will only look at hair as a requirement for approaching a woman. In my college (mississippi) I noticed a lot of shorter haired women would get approached more than a LOT of the longer haired girls for several reasons, mostly personality and being outgoing. I really think that most guys, despite the vain ones that seem to be everywhere, look at the total package and may approach a lady even if her hair isn't exactly what he would prefer.

But arent we all vain to some extent? I mean we all have issues about judging a book by the cover. In the south (Louisiana to be exact) it is a sterotype that black women cant grow hair so when a man sees a long haired sister they stop to make conversation after that its up to you to be interesting or not. I have short hair right now due to an illness my hair began to fall out but when my hair was long yeah guys would stop and talk but I pushed on cause I am happily married. We women have a preference (some like tall dark and handsome while others dont) is that vain to have a preference of short hair or long hair women? This question puzzles me.

 

[Ms Lala]

I attracted LOTS of men once natural and I still do. My hubby met me after I stopped relaxing. The big hair works for me! As long as the style is becoming and you carry it w/confidence I don't think it's an issue. I noticed that I started attracting more brothas' who were either 1) pro-Black (not in a bad overly militant way) 2) wore locs 3) were into the whole spoken word scene 4) were trying to be natural themselves no meat eating/going green. I also find that more men of other ethnicities find my natural hair attractive than when I was relaxed.

 

[JustKiya]

But arent we all vain to some extent? I mean we all have issues about judging a book by the cover. In the south (Louisiana to be exact) it is a sterotype that black women cant grow hair so when a man sees a long haired sister they stop to make conversation after that its up to you to be interesting or not. I have short hair right now due to an illness my hair began to fall out but when my hair was long yeah guys would stop and talk but I pushed on cause I am happily married. We women have a preference (some like tall dark and handsome while others dont) is that vain to have a preference of short hair or long hair women? This question puzzles me.

I think there's a huge difference between a preference and a requirement.

I prefer a lot of things, but I did not require them of my partner, because who he is trumps what I would prefer him to look like.

If I required my man to look a certain way, I most likely wouldn't be married right now.......

The things I require from my man cannot be seen by the naked eye.

 

[SoCalli]

So what about us single ladies?

Do you feel that you do/will/would attract a different kind of man with a different hairstyle?

I get no play when my hair is natural and in a bun. I only get play when my hair is flat ironed. It sucks, and I hate it. However, I have hair goals that I have to see through so I guess I'll be single until the time being. It probably would help if I wore makeup, but I'm too lazy to put it on everyday. When my hair is down, I get play without doing all that.

 

[ladylibra]

men of all races, social classes and education levels are inexplicably attracted to me... when i was 135 lbs... while preggers... and now at *ahem* 175 lbs... with relaxed hair... with a 2-inch twa... with my present coily fro...

so i dunno wth y'all are talking about, attracting certain men with one hairstyle, and certain others with another... cuz i've seen no discrimination (personally)

 

[GeauXavi]

But arent we all vain to some extent? I mean we all have issues about judging a book by the cover. In the south (Louisiana to be exact) it is a sterotype that black women cant grow hair so when a man sees a long haired sister they stop to make conversation after that its up to you to be interesting or not. I have short hair right now due to an illness my hair began to fall out but when my hair was long yeah guys would stop and talk but I pushed on cause I am happily married. We women have a preference (some like tall dark and handsome while others dont) is that vain to have a preference of short hair or long hair women? This question puzzles me.

Thats true...and that's the point I was making earlier...that when it comes to being approached without ANY prior knowledge about a person...people are 99% of the time going to go on looks alone...meaning exercising their "right of preference" so to speak...

 

[GeauXavi]

I attracted LOTS of men once natural and I still do. My hubby met me after I stopped relaxing. The big hair works for me! As long as the style is becoming and you carry it w/confidence I don't think it's an issue. I noticed that I started attracting more brothas' who were either 1) pro-Black (not in a bad overly militant way) 2) wore locs 3) were into the whole spoken word scene 4) were trying to be natural themselves no meat eating/going green. I also find that more men of other ethnicities find my natural hair attractive than when I was relaxed.

Thanks for the reply! This is kinda of answering my original question...Do you attract different kinds of men with different hairstyles...

I know that as women...the beautiful and sexy beings that we are we can always attract a man... But... I think that since different men have different preferences we may attract different kinds of men by the way we look....

Even as ladylibra mentioned(i looove your hair btw) weight fluctuations...i know for a FACT that I attract different kind of a attention from different types of guys being thicker (full hips, butt n breasts) than when I am smaller...it's consistent...

I was reading in Tariq Nasheed's book Play or Be Played that most men categorize women by their looks before approaching them...hair, weight, body shape, etc...so yeah, i do think that it is more than hair...but before they meet you it's not really more than looks....

thanks for the 5 stars too...btw

 

[SandySea]

I cut my hair to about 1.5 inches above shoulder about 6 wks ago. It was very surprising to me that there wasn't much of a difference in the amount of attention I got from men. Of course, my hair was about an inch below SL prior to the cut, not long. I hate to admit it, but my confidence has taken a bit of a hit. My hair is growing out pretty fast but I hate the way it looks now. Just have to bare with it until I reach SL again. Hopefully my awkwardness bout this length won't be obvious to others.

 

[joib]

It is funny but I prefer to meet men on my off days (hair in a bun, under a head scarf, and in some sweat cloths). They are getting to know me and I feel they are listening to me. I might wear my hair up on a few dates after that and then the hair comes down. Now if they tell me how pretty it is, play in it, and leave it at that -. If they start harrassing me to wear it down every time we see each other -. This might sound crazy but the only men that I find makes a HUGE deal over women's hair, looks, shapes, and sizes are black men . Other races of men loves my hair no matter what style it is in.

 

[RegaLady]

Girl dont worry about that because its not how you wear your hair. Its about how YOU are. My DH approached me on the worst hair day ever. I had it in a bun, but my edges were poking out the sides of the bun was falling apart in the back plus I was sweaty and everything because I had just got finished working out. I was a mess. So imagine my surprise when he approached me. I was like, "boy please!" I thought he was tryin to be funny.

So later on I asked him what made him approach me on that horrible day...he told me that I had a cute face. I guess he didnt notice my hair was a complete mess.

Moral of the story: you want to attact a man that doesnt care how you wear your hair.

I totally agree, Dh met me in a kinky briadout. NO one complimented me on that hair day, some people even laughed. He was the only one who said I had beautiful hair.

 

[RegaLady]

I think there's a huge difference between a preference and a requirement.

I prefer a lot of things, but I did not require them of my partner, because who he is trumps what I would prefer him to look like.

If I required my man to look a certain way, I most likely wouldn't be married right now.......

The things I require from my man cannot be seen by the naked eye.

You got that right!
When it reaches a requirement, you cannot be truly happy with the person, because 9 times out of 10, they will be lacking in another compartment!

 

[RegaLady]

Thanks for the reply! This is kinda of answering my original question...Do you attract different kinds of men with different hairstyles...

I know that as women...the beautiful and sexy beings that we are we can always attract a man... But... I think that since different men have different preferences we may attract different kinds of men by the way we look....

Even as ladylibra mentioned(i looove your hair btw) weight fluctuations...i know for a FACT that I attract different kind of a attention from different types of guys being thicker (full hips, butt n breasts) than when I am smaller...it's consistent...

I was reading in Tariq Nasheed's book Play or Be Played that most men categorize women by their looks before approaching them...hair, weight, body shape, etc...so yeah, i do think that it is more than hair...but before they meet you it's not really more than looks....

thanks for the 5 stars too...btw

ITA...I always attract men. But, I will still say the attention is different. With different styles I attract different men. When I was a bit thicker 145-155lbs, black men loved it. DH likes me in shape, but he also prefers this weight. When I am at my current weight, 130, I attract a different kind of crowd. It is not that people don't find certain women attractive at all, it's just different things for different people, even at certain times.
I say men like women who like themselves. Yes, they want whats pleasing to their senses, but if you can CONvince(hint: CONfidence) that you are the walking stuff, people will believe it! This is an interesting subject, even if you are married!