Was our hair meant to be this difficult?

[Guitarhero]

I completely feel you on the conspiracy theory. Because when I realized all the BS these companies try to sell us I was appalled. And then I realized that Blacks have always had it hard since the moments we got here. We've had to blow the top off of a lot of crap that society tried to get us to believe. And I believe that hair care is another lid that's getting blown. And what better way to make AA's feel inferior than with our looks. So make the standard of beauty to hard to attain that we do more damage than anything. Because our hair wasn't made to do certain things. So don't condemn your hair comdemn the idea that there is only one type of beauty. Because as we all know now beauty is also Black and Nappy!

Not just black women, but all women and all people buying most products meant for skin and hair. They are designed to work synergistically meaning, strip, strip, strip...then, replace, replace, replace! They damage the hair then sell you the antidote to the damage.

 

[lovegymnasts]

I have read about half of this thread.
I have a question for those who believe our hair is a curse because it is unique to our race. Are Asian's also cursed due to the uniqueness of their eyes/eyelids?

 

[Bublin]

Can someone post a picture of a white person with 4b hair please? (it was mentioned upthread that our 4b hair was not unique to black people erplexed)

All i could find was Mr Simmons....but i bet he has 3something hair that has been backcombed and hairsprayed.

 

[TopShelf]

I don't buy that our hair wants to loc.

Based on 6 years of reading stories on this board and others, most naturals do not encounter issues with tangling or knots until they have surpassed the twa-medium fro stage. If hair was meant to loc, it would begin doing so in the early growth stages.

Not to mention that locs are artifically knotted and the locking to maturity process takes place over the course of months-years.

their hair doesn't loc because they manipulate it. if those same people didnt manipulte their hair for jsut a few days, what do you think would happen?

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

Can someone post a picture of a white person with 4b hair please? (it was mentioned upthread that our 4b hair was not unique to black people erplexed)

All i could find was Mr Simmons....but i bet he has 3something hair that has been backcombed and hairsprayed.

http://www.talkwrestlingonline.com/...uests-Thread&p=1125289&viewfull=1#post1125289 ??? lol

 

[lovegymnasts]

http://www.talkwrestlingonline.com/...uests-Thread&p=1125289&viewfull=1#post1125289 ?

Naw, those are not 4b hair.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

their hair doesn't loc because they manipulate it. if those same people didnt manipulte their hair for jsut a few days, what do you think would happen?

They'd have smooshed fro's.



Even free form locs don't happen in just a few days.

 

[Raspberry]

There's a continual philosophy in this thread that if black women just went with the flow of their hair there is no difficulty or extra time needed. Does that mean it's wrong or emotionally unhealthy to desire any style outside of whatever your hair does when you wash and go?

The practice of wearing an afro is actually something of a modern western thing. Interestingly, when you see photos of indigenous African peoples they never have their hair in an unmanipulated state. In fact you often see a lot of elaborate time consuming styles, now I doubt they are doing those everyday but every culture has some ideal of hair presentation they mold their hair to fit.

 

[Bublin]

http://www.talkwrestlingonline.com/...uests-Thread&p=1125289&viewfull=1#post1125289 ?

Mmmm - combed/brushed/teased-out type 3 hair into an afro - you can still see the 'soft texture' and big curls.

 

[Raspberry]

They'd have smooshed fro's.



Even free form locs don't happen in just a few days.

True, but if you were to wash n' go your natural hair without combing it, it would form clumps/pre-locs within a matter of months, now it may be like 5 giant locs but it would loc nonetheless

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Huh?

Over 65% or was it 84% of women have curly hair. Which can do all of the same styles we do with our hair.

I have a friend who is Mexican and White can relax her hair with *gasp* a black relaxer. It just knocks some of the kink out and makes her hair *gasp* a 3B otherwise she is a 4a. Her mother is white and her father is mexican.

You missed the point I was trying to make. I was trying to help the original poster to see the beauty of textured hair and its versatility. A lot of my white friends with strait hair have told me they wished they could copy the styles they see black women doing. There are those who envy our textured hair. You don't need to be mixed to use a relaxer. I know plenty of white people who relax their hair.

 

[Embyra]

Naw, those are not 4b hair.

They never are its always the same pics

 

[Junebug D]

Y'all dug this one out of the grave...

I don't buy that our hair wants to loc.

Based on 6 years of reading stories on this board and others, most naturals do not encounter issues with tangling or knots until they have surpassed the twa-medium fro stage. If hair was meant to loc, it would begin doing so in the early growth stages.

Not to mention that locs are artifically knotted and the locking to maturity process takes place over the course of months-years.

Yet when they get past that TWA stage, most type 4s and even type 3s begin to experience knots and tangles. The ones who say they do not experience knots are people who keep it in a manipulated, stretched style. So is our hair meant to be in a permanent TWA? If so it wouldn't grow any longer than that, like body hair.

There's a continual philosophy in this thread that if black women just went with the flow of their hair there is no difficulty or extra time needed. Does that mean it's wrong or emotionally unhealthy to desire any style outside of whatever your hair does when you wash and go?

The practice of wearing an afro is actually something of a modern western thing. Interestingly, when you see photos of indigenous African peoples they never have their hair in an unmanipulated state. In fact you often see a lot of elaborate time consuming styles, now I doubt they are doing those everyday but every culture has some ideal of hair presentation they mold their hair to fit.

I don't think anyone's saying that at all (at least I hope not ). It's just recognizing that the styles and the neat looks we prefer may be going against the natural flow of our hair. I recognize that. Oh well. Such is life. I probably will never let my hair freeform loc; if I do loc they will be manicured and styled. Nothing wrong with styling. My hair is relaxed now. I know my hair isn't in its optimal condition this way, but I like a certain look and a certain level of maintenance and it works for me. Compromise is a fact of life.

 

[Junebug D]

^^^ And also just recognizing that our hair isn't defective or "meant to be" difficult, and we are not cursed. Our hair just wants to loc, that's all its trying to do-- that's why it's behaving the way that it is, and that is not inherently bad or difficult.

 

[Raspberry]

I don't think anyone's saying that at all (at least I hope not ). It's just recognizing that the styles and the neat looks we prefer may be going against the natural flow of our hair. I recognize that. Oh well. Such is life. I probably will never let my hair freeform loc; if I do loc they will be manicured and styled. Nothing wrong with styling. My hair is relaxed now. I know my hair isn't in its optimal condition this way, but I like a certain look and a certain level of maintenance and it works for me. Compromise is a fact of life.

Yea I agree with all of this. I can acknowledge that I'm absolutely affected by cultural norms for beauty and that since a shrunken fro isn't the hottest thing on my face in the context of these norms, my current relaxer is the best balance for me in terms of hair that looks nice with my face and ease of daily styling. My manicured locs were nice.. just got tired of them as they got longer and heavier. Loose natural was a nice experience, just time consuming as all get out unless I wore twists 24/7.

I'm just musing about what hairstyles black women (with 4ish hair I guess) should aspire to that are "easy" and aren't a permanent shrunken fro lol. Seems like there could never be a real consensus because besides the fact that there's such a variety of textures and regimens, you can't discount aesthetics in these discussions. Some styles simply look better than others on certain people and many women will go the extra mile to enhance their sexy, even if they resent whatever process that that takes.

 

[Jewell]

I was led to believe as a child and up until age 23 that my hair was not manageable without a relaxer or lots of heat. When I went natural, I really enjoyed the waves, kinks, curls and so now I actually hate the straight look on me. I dont think our hair is inherently "difficult." I think it does take more time and care than other cultures.

My hair does take more time to style than the average woman because of the texture and thickness. But as for it being so difficult that I want to relax it or chop it all off? Nope. It's all relative, as every head of hair is different (as are people's hair care techniques and hair care knowledge).

I would like less shrinkage, and slightly more of a looser curl...but otherwise, I'm satisfied with my natural hair. I think if I regularly straightened, I would get the looser curl...but I'm not much into straight hair on myself anymore. I would rather find natural ways to loosen the curl a bit (like the rumored coconut milk and lime juice) than use chemicals.

 

[Tiye]

Oldie but "goodie" thread?? I suggest that anyone who relates to OP should go to youtube and spend some time watching hair styling videos by people of other races. If you do, you'll find out that maintaining any kind of hair has its challenges, and you can even get some tips by stepping out of the box. If you don't want to do anything at all with your hair then locks are a great option - even the manicured looks are very easy to maintain. Hair boards can make things could make things sound overcomplicated because there's so many points of view swirling around together. Think about it - if you hang out on a food board will you try each and every recipe or technique mentioned on the board - probably not - it would get exhausting. Take tips here and there try them out if they sound reasonable and keep the ones that work for you. That's all there is to it.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

I agree with the others - our hair is soooo simple and easy to care for. Provided that one doesn't try to make it into something it really isn't.
Like for instance wanting stick straight hair 365 days a year when the hair is really a 3b-4b

Imagine how difficult it would be for a white woman to achieve a perfect 4b afro every morning She would have difficult hair for sure! And destroyed by chemicals and heat appliances!!!

This Is So True

Sometimes i get frustrated at my hair, but snap back into reality when I realize this ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

 

[karyn32]

No where near through with this thread, but wanted to post that I am angry at this. Not angry at the op, but angry at how blackness has been so disrespected and devalued that it has our own people questioning its greatness and fabolousness. Please rent Malcolm X, bump it, buy Malcolm X and truly let it marinate. There is a great scene where he says "who told you you were ugly, who told you there was something wrong with your kinky hair and broad nose?" Do not let old prejudices seeped in what I believe to be jealousy screw with your self image. At 32 I am so comfortable in my skin that it makes other people uncomfortable. I'm brown skinned, I'm tall, my legs are big, my butt is big, my breasts are big and I dare a mf to try to tell me I'm anything other than fabolous. I see white folks all day and do not envy a thing that they have. Not their skin color, not their hair, not their bodies, nada. I am black, proud, and I always wear my head high because I am. Let me tell you and anybody else looking for validation outside of yourself, especially in America. Don't do it. You must let go of the ignorance and the jealousy that other races have towards us. And please stop putting white folks hair on a pedestal. Girl, I see them in the street all day and most of the time I am not impressed. The movie stars you see with flowing hair, um that's a weave and parts blended in for thickness. Those curves are courtesy of butt pads and that bronze skin is courtesy of spray tans. That blond hair is courtesy of a bottle. And that smooth skin is courtesy of a lifetime supply of Reitin A. And that shape is generally courtesy of Adderol and cigarettes. Don't be fooled by the Loreal and Clairol commercials. Please. You want length, get a weave like everyone else and when you're tired of it-take it off like everyone else in Hollywood, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Angelina Jolie etc and go on about your business. Life is too short.

 

[Miss*Tress]

Can someone post a picture of a white person with 4b hair please? (it was mentioned upthread that our 4b hair was not unique to black people erplexed)

All i could find was Mr Simmons....but i bet he has 3something hair that has been backcombed and hairsprayed.

I was going to say Phoebe Snow, but she was a type 3-ish.

Here's a good candidate:

 

[dancinstallion]

I do believe our hair is beautiful and we should stop trying to get it to do something it wasn't meant to do. but look at how hard it is for some ladies hair to grow long.
I have to admit my hair is difficult with the tangles, shedding, knots etc but I love it for the thickness and length.

Just look at how many ladies in that thread said how hard it is for them to get to Apl.
APL! I know 5 year olds of different races that make it to apl so for it to be so hard for all those ladies on here to get to that length. Then how can one say our hair isn't difficult. Others races get to that length just by breathing.

 

[Imsosceneic]

while i don't believe in god, i respect you all and would like to offer a non-religious pov.

i'm still in the process of finding what works for me and my hair and i ask myself this question many times.

why do i have to wear a satin cap, why do i have to oil rinse, why why why? lol

i think i've chalked it up to two variables.

one being the prevalent beauty standard. fair, delicate, infantile, long locks, youthful body.

as much as i believe the culture of african diaspora is a force to be reckon with, we don't exist in a vacuum and we are not the majority so it is very hard to live life unscathed by the stupid societal ideals in place.

we can have long hair, i don't doubt that at all. but there are many factors "against" us that will stop us from reaching the western standard. shrinkage, styling etc.

we will never be up to par if we judge ourselves by standards that were not made with us in mind.

two being the 'culture of convenience', 'i want it now, with the least bit of effort' attitude that is also prevalent in the west. sometimes i ask myself, why do i have to do so much when others seem to be doing so little for the same results. i've realized that this attitude is lazy and unhealthy.

it would be like complaining that a next person can go several days without brushing their teeth and not get gingivitis while you would not be awarded the same luck.

we must move from the way of thinking that more effort = more hard work and instead think of it as more effort = more care.

yes it does seem more difficult but only because we look at it this way. if we strive for goals that are abnormal to us, won't it always end in disappointment?

i have my insecurities and qualms with my hair also so do not think of this as condescending.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

I do not think my hair is difficult.


That is all.

 

[greenandchic]

I do believe our hair is beautiful and we should stop trying to get it to do something it wasn't meant to do. but look at how hard it is for some ladies hair to grow long.
I have to admit my hair is difficult with the tangles, shedding, knots etc but I love it for the thickness and length.

Just look at how many ladies in that thread said how hard it is for them to get to Apl.
APL! I know 5 year olds of different races that make it to apl so for it to be so hard for all those ladies on here to get to that length. Then how can one say our hair isn't difficult. Others races get to that length just by breathing.

while i don't believe in god, i respect you all and would like to offer a non-religious pov.

i'm still in the process of finding what works for me and my hair and i ask myself this question many times.

why do i have to wear a satin cap, why do i have to oil rinse, why why why? lol

i think i've chalked it up to two variables.

one being the prevalent beauty standard. fair, delicate, infantile, long locks, youthful body.

as much as i believe the culture of african diaspora is a force to be reckon with, we don't exist in a vacuum and we are not the majority so it is very hard to live life unscathed by the stupid societal ideals in place.

we can have long hair, i don't doubt that at all. but there are many factors "against" us that will stop us from reaching the western standard. shrinkage, styling etc.

we will never be up to par if we judge ourselves by standards that were not made with us in mind.

two being the 'culture of convenience', 'i want it now, with the least bit of effort' attitude that is also prevalent in the west. sometimes i ask myself, why do i have to do so much when others seem to be doing so little for the same results. i've realized that this attitude is lazy and unhealthy.

it would be like complaining that a next person can go several days without brushing their teeth and not get gingivitis while you would not be awarded the same luck.

we must move from the way of thinking that more effort = more hard work and instead think of it as more effort = more care.

yes it does seem more difficult but only because we look at it this way. if we strive for goals that are abnormal to us, won't it always end in disappointment?

i have my insecurities and qualms with my hair also so do not think of this as condescending.

I don't straighten my hair or use direct heat, so I can't use the reasoning that I'm trying to make my hair do what it isn't meant to do, but I can totally relate to the people here who are frustrated with how "difficult" our hair is.

I can't retain one inch past my shoulder unless its in a PS. Not to mention the DCing, cowashing, going comb free, satin, protein, supplements, etc. My hair also grow as slow as molasses too, when I have friends who have to cut their hair monthly to hold a style. Even my BF's hair grows an inch a month. I know because I cut his hair.

I do agree that we should see it as our hair needing "more care" or a labor of love. We live in a world where most of us have limited time for self-care, be it fitness, diet, spiritual practices, or simply caring for our hair instead of slapping a wig on it.

 

[ActionActress]

Difficult hair is still a perception among a straight haired culture. Would it be considered difficult is the culture we lived in upheld Afro hair? Would we sound so, "siiiiigghhh....whoa is my difficult hair" to the world?

No one's hair is difficult, one just has to know what THEIR hair wants and needs.


I think letting the world know a very bad perception can further badly inform--the uninformed. So, we have to start by switching our thinking first.

Yes, some are frustrated, since this is a long hair growth site mainly. But take a deep breath and don't let your frustrations turn into something that the uninformed can latch onto as bad information about our hair.

Lastly, take......your........time!!! I think too many of us want microwave growing hair. lol!

AA

 

[candy626]

Jesus was Jewish so it's very possible he had a kinky hair type.

Not impossible. Modern day Jews look different than ancient Jews. Most modern day Jews have strong European influences within their bloodlines (even Jews from Israel, as many of them descend from families who were expelled from Europe or urged to move from Europe to Israel in the early 20th century).


Jesus's bloodline has been examined many times and realistically he probably looked like a modern day Northern African/Middle-Eastern/"Arab" person. Some of these people have coarse thick hair (not like African American hair but definitely coarser and thicker than Caucasian)


As for is our hair meant to be this difficult? No, I think that we make our hair difficult by trying to make it fit into cultural/societal standards of what hair should look like. I think all races of women are guilty of doing this (look at the popularity of flat irons, hair dyes, extensions, keratin treatments. Very few people wear their hair completly and totally naturally). All women chase that ideal image of what soceity/culture tells us "looks good" in combination of what personally appeals to us.

 

[Lynnerie]

I don't straighten my hair or use direct heat, so I can't use the reasoning that I'm trying to make my hair do what it isn't meant to do, but I can totally relate to the people here who are frustrated with how "difficult" our hair is.

I can't retain one inch past my shoulder unless its in a PS. Not to mention the DCing, cowashing, going comb free, satin, protein, supplements, etc. My hair also grow as slow as molasses too, when I have friends who have to cut their hair monthly to hold a style. Even my BF's hair grows an inch a month. I know because I cut his hair.

I do agree that we should see it as our hair needing "more care" or a labor of love. We live in a world where most of us have limited time for self-care, be it fitness, diet, spiritual practices, or simply caring for our hair instead of slapping a wig on it.

Thats how I look at it. Just like white folks have to take extra care for their skin when they are in the sun or they'll burn and get sun damage. There are a lot of things we dont have to worry about like varicose veins, and our skin doesn't age as quickly as theirs either. Ok so my hair takes more care whether its natural or relaxed. It is what it is- our hair is still the most versatile hair type on this earth.

 

[greenandchic]

Thats how I look at it. Just like white folks have to take extra care for their skin when they are in the sun or they'll burn and get sun damage. There are a lot of things we dont have to worry about like varicose veins, and our skin doesn't age as quickly as theirs either. Ok so my hair takes more care whether its natural or relaxed. It is what it is- our hair is still the most versatile hair type on this earth.

As an aside, I have to disagree with the varicose vein comment. My mother started getting them in her legs in her 20s from working as a nurse. My grandmother had them too. Yes, we do get them - its not pigmentation issue.

I'm almost 33 and have been using SPF since I was in my teens. Granted it was mainly because I had acne scars that I didn't want to darken in the sun, but its been a habit of mine for years now. Yes, as long as we take care of ourselves, our skin doesn't age.

 

[mech]

lol that's like asking were black people meant to be inferior. black hair is only "difficult" because white supremacy says so.

 

[Carmelella]

It seems so difficult because we tend to try to make it look like something its not. You add oils/spritz etc because want ti shiny as if we had flat cuticles of a straight haired perceson. We define what beauty is, we define what styles are acceptable therefore defining manageability. Unfortunately our definition is far from what we really are. Whose fault is that? Change ur perception, and u change your reality. If a white person had the perception that an afro was beautiful they would be spending hours on their hair, and when big hair in the 70's was popular, they did. And plus, I see lots off people with nice hair who wash and air dry once a week and moisturize with one drug store grease with no problems.

In the biggger picture, we shouldn't be complaining about hair. How many white people say they were cheated of dark skin and now they have higher rates of the deadly skin cancer. Or do Jews feel slighted cuz they have much higher rates of Tay Sachs disease (100 percent fatal). We all have our challenges.