Was our hair meant to be this difficult?

[Candy1978]

I have asked God more than once why did he make our hair like this. Then I realized that God is perfect, and he doesn't make any mistakes. First of all our hair was made for the climate that we are originally from ( Africa). I prayed that God would help me to accept my hair, and love it the way He loves it, and help me to take care of it. Our hair is what it is , Naturally Dry, and thus we have to keep it moisturized. I believe that you can have a simple regimen to grow your hair out, and that you don't have to use like 50 products. My regimen is simple....I suggest just praying for acceptance..because Our hair isn't going to change....lol

 

[B_Phlyy]

Wow. Does anyone think this affects what we belive on LHCF that any black woman can have long hair? Interesting.

I honestly don't know. I do think that most black women can get to and maintain SL, but most people on hair boards don't consider hair long until like APL, so that's why some say that not all blac women can grow "long" hair.

My theory about the "black hair isn't designed to be long" is that in it's completely unaltered state (which to me means just rinsed with water and airdried into a shrunken fro) black hair would not appear to grow long. But when extra care is taken and moisturizers and whatnot are added, hair retains more length even though it's still shrunken.

But these are just my thoughs.

 

[navsegda]

I have asked God more than once why did he make our hair like this. Then I realized that God is perfect, and he doesn't make any mistakes. First of all our hair was made for the climate that we are originally from ( Africa). I prayed that God would help me to accept my hair, and love it the way He loves it, and help me to take care of it. Our hair is what it is , Naturally Dry, and thus we have to keep it moisturized. I believe that you can have a simple regimen to grow your hair out, and that you don't have to use like 50 products. My regimen is simple....I suggest just praying for acceptance..because Our hair isn't going to change....lol

See, that's the thing I want to know. Did God MAKE our hair like this from the beginning of time or is it something that we or the climate or WHATEVER else did to alter our texture permanently somewhere along our history? Yes, God is perfect but human beings are not.

 

[firecracker]

I believe we have the most beautiful, versatile hair in the world. Haircare can be easy once we learn how. The same applies to all hair types.

God made our hair perfectly. The struggle some people have is working against their hair, trying to make it appear according to someone else's standard.

For me, I make sure my hair journey is totally fun and it has been. That's what makes it easy and something to look forward to.

Your comment is awesome and right on point.

 

[JustKiya]

I am sick of my difficult hair. From straight to natural to braids to wigs to braids again. i feel like this is a raw deal. i cuss about it every now and again. forget socialization and all that crap. right now, i wish i had hair that i could sleep on and not worry about breakage, that i could take a swim in the sea and not worry about salt, go to the gym and not worry about whether i should wash everyday or not.

The thing is - white women have to worry about that too!! I'm on a majority white hair board - and they talk about the SAME STUFF - making satin seat cover so their hair won't rub on the back of their seats. Blowdrying their hair straight every morning because they don't want their 'waves'. Wonder what the best treatment is (oil or conditioner) to leave-in their hair while in the sun and sand of the beach - AND they worry about the salt in their hair after they work out.

I really think it's a misconception that black people are the ONLY ones who do things (chemical/mechanical) to their hair because they aren't happy with how it grows out of their hair. Black people aren't the ONLY ones who struggle to grow their hair out - we are just the ones who fight our natural texture the most.

 

[mango387]

Disclaimer: Although I have relaxed hair, I am starting to miss my kinky 4b/4a hair. I have transitioned fully before, and I do not mind doing it again.

Okay, I am reading posts where people are saying that people who fight with their natural hair texture or long for straight hair make our hair difficult when it really is not if we just go with the flow. I do not know if this is true for everyone. I fully transitioned the second time by myself with the help of LHCF. (The first time I was a child, and my mother was handling the care). As it was growing out, I learned to love the texture of my hair. I loved it when it was braided or twisted up BUT it took FOREVER to do my hair. Therefore, I somewhat understand what the OP is saying.

Some would say that I just had bad technique or was using the wrong product. I really do not think I was, because when I would go to the salon on rare occasions some of the stylists would comment favorably on the health of my hair. I found some great detanglers through this site, but sometimes my hair would at them.

Others would say that I just was not used to doing my hair; I did my hair for about two years...When I finished my hair it was pretty 90% of the time, but it took forever to get it there. I would not as I said in a previous thread change my texture for any- one. Why? I love the weight and thickness of it, and I like the zigs and zags (that is why I can do this stretching thing). If could find someway to make my majority 4b natural hair more manageable for the days when I did not have 3+ hours to spend styling it just in twists or braids, then I would be happpyy. (Oh, I could never do an Afro Puff, because my shrinking was so bad that my hair in one of the cloth wraps would look as if it was two inches long when it was eight-nine inches long then).

 

[Candy1978]

well the thing is that our hair texture is in our genes...it's genetic. so if someone altered it they had to mess with our genetics, I don't know if they even had the tecnology to do that sort of genetic altering back in the day, so I do beleive that our texture was God given....maybe the hair "adapted" to the climate..that could be, but then you think of other groups who live in the same climate...Middle east, Israel, all throught the Northern parts of Africa, and they all normally have 2-3b hair textures naturally, so I can only guess that our hair is geneticly inclined to be coarse

See, that's the thing I want to know. Did God MAKE our hair like this from the beginning of time or is it something that we or the climate or WHATEVER else did to alter our texture permanently somewhere along our history? Yes, God is perfect but human beings are not.

 

[navsegda]

well the thing is that our hair texture is in our genes...it's genetic. so if someone altered it they had to mess with our genetics, I don't know if they even had the tecnology to do that sort of genetic altering back in the day, so I do beleive that our texture was God given....maybe the hair "adapted" to the climate..that could be, but then you think of other groups who live in the same climate...Middle east, Israel, all throught the Northern parts of Africa, and they all normally have 2-3b hair textures naturally, so I can only guess that our hair is geneticly inclined to be coarse

Maybe this is just one of those mysteries that we'll never know. I know it's hard for some to believe, but there are many black women who have the looser textures that are not mixed and cannot trace white, Indian, or other ancestry in their past (this of course doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but if they can go back for several generations and not be able to trace anything, then that's good enough for me). Not all of us have coarse hair. And like I said, I have yet to see or hear of any black person (maybe you or someone else has) with the "kinkier" texture now who was born with the hair this exact same way. We may never know and all we can do is accept it.

 

[sunnygirl]

I believe we have the most beautiful, versatile hair in the world. Haircare can be easy once we learn how. The same applies to all hair types.

God made our hair perfectly. The struggle some people have is working against their hair, trying to make it appear according to someone else's standard.

For me, I make sure my hair journey is totally fun and it has been. That's what makes it easy and something to look forward to.

You took the words right out of my mouth:wink2:

 

[mango387]

Maybe this is just one of those mysteries that we'll never know. I know it's hard for some to believe, but there are many black women who have the looser textures that are not mixed and cannot trace white, Indian, or other ancestry in their past (this of course doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but if they can go back for several generations and not be able to trace anything, then that's good enough for me). Not all of us have coarse hair. And like I said, I have yet to see or hear of any black person (maybe you or someone else has) with the "kinkier" texture now who was born with the hair this exact same way. We may never know and all we can do is accept it.

Hello. My name is Mango387. My hair was so rolled up on my little head that when I saw a Polaroid from my birth date I was like . I think it was not as wiry, but I have never seen a newborn with hair that actually looked kinky like mine did. My dad is the only one who refers to my newborn hair as curly and that is only because he loves me .

 

[zailless]

The thing is - white women have to worry about that too!! I'm on a majority white hair board - and they talk about the SAME STUFF - making satin seat cover so their hair won't rub on the back of their seats. Blowdrying their hair straight every morning because they don't want their 'waves'. Wonder what the best treatment is (oil or conditioner) to leave-in their hair while in the sun and sand of the beach - AND they worry about the salt in their hair after they work out.

I really think it's a misconception that black people are the ONLY ones who do things (chemical/mechanical) to their hair because they aren't happy with how it grows out of their hair. Black people aren't the ONLY ones who struggle to grow their hair out - we are just the ones who fight our natural texture the most.

I dont care about whites to be honest, and how difficult their hair maybe. my friends have to straighten and do all kinds of things to get their hair to look right. i once saw my bulgarian gf with her curly hair. i didnt realize it was her natural hair and said to her 'your hair looks out of wack, what did you do?' she was so embarrassed. both of us have never shown our natural hair to each other. now she is into my braids and im in her business sharing hair stuff. the point is, no matter what, im still sick of my hair. all my coworkers are white and from talking about hair, i know we share the same frustrations, but some of them were born with wash and wear, chinese too and indians. i wish got a wash and wear hair. i know i woudnt care cause i am not crazy about any hair style in particular.

 

[navsegda]

Here's something else I've been wondering: why is it that if you say you wish you had a different texture of hair, some people become automatically offended but if you say you wish you were taller, had bigger boobs, a bigger butt, smaller feet, etc. you don't get the same negative "race traitor" type response?

 

[kally]

I have a love/ hate relationship with my hair and it is beautiful. I do not try to change its natural state to much and I fully believe we can have long hair, the proof is on this board it just seems we have to work so much harder at it.

I know for a fact that once God puts a curse one someone it can be for generations to come. Take Eve for instance: Child birth was suppose to be painless, once she took the apple God said that she would experience pain and joy at the same time. All women have suffered because of it . Jesus Christ died for our sins so that we may be forgiven I fully believe this. Also there are somethings that I feel God have set in place due to past actions. This has to be one of them. Look how different our hair is.

When it comes to our beautiful skin color, you have dark Lations and indians as well but their hair is also wash and go like the white race. So something is up.

As far as MSM I really believe it does change the texture, because as you all know by now I cut my hair really close and have been taken it and my har truely is growing in 3bish where ae before it was 4aish.

 

[navsegda]

I know for a fact that once God puts a curse one someone it can be for generations to come. Take Eve for instance: Child birth was suppose to be painless, once she took the apple God said that she would experience pain and joy at the same time. All women have suffered because of it . Jesus Christ died for our sins so that we may be forgiven I fully believe this. Also there are somethings that I feel God have set in place due to past actions. This has to be one of them. Look how different our hair is.

Oh snap, the Pandora's box has been opened! But hmm...you bring up a VERY interesting point to say the least.

 

[PaperClip]

I know for a fact that once God puts a curse one someone it can be for generations to come. Take Eve for instance: Child birth was suppose to be painless, once she took the apple God said that she would experience pain and joy at the same time. All women have suffered because of it . Jesus Christ died for our sins so that we may be forgiven I fully believe this. Also there are somethings that I feel God have set in place due to past actions. This has to be one of them. Look how different our hair is.

I think (I hope) that I'm reading here that with the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ that those who give their lives to Him are NO LONGER under that curse of childbirth.... 'cause that's how I understand it.... I don't have to have painful childbirths....

...that was slightly off topic but wanted to get this straight....

Back on topic: let's deal with the sobering fact that we have a CHOICE about our the "difficulty" of managing one's hair. It is VERY SOCIAL. We have the choice to WORK WITH IT (NOT AGAINST IT), WEAR A HAT, or LEAVE IT ALONE. But let's not put the blame others concerning the "difficulty" we have about our hair. Own that hair. It's the hair that you came on the planet with and should the Lord be so gracious, it's the hair we'll leave the planet with....

 

[secretdiamond]

Navesegda you bring up very interesting points to think about.

 

[kally]

Here's something else I've been wondering: why is it that if you say you wish you had a different texture of hair, some people become automatically offended but if you say you wish you were taller, had bigger boobs, a bigger butt, smaller feet, etc. you don't get the same negative "race traitor" type response?

So true and when it comes to hair, people really get offended.

I am sorry. I love being an AA woman, love everything about it. I Just have such a hard time excepting my hair. Every since I was little girl I have wanted the long locks and has been a huge self-esteem problem for me. I was never able to have the nice little ponytails that little girls wore. I have never had hair past my neck, so it just does not come easy for me. my hair breaks as it grows. I have applied all the methods on here and still can not achieve it, but that is just me. Many on here have been able to and I am very happy for you. I keeps my hope up.

 

[PaperClip]

So true and when it comes to hair, people really get offended.

I am sorry. I love being an AA woman, love everything about it. I Just have such a hard time excepting my hair. Every since I was little girl I have wanted the long locks and has been a huge self-esteem problem for me. I was never able to have the nice little ponytails that little girls wore. I have never had hair past my neck, so it just does not come easy for me. my hair breaks as it grows. I have applied all the methods on here and still can not achieve it, but that is just me. Many on here have been able to and I am very happy for you. I keeps my hope up.

This is something that you probably need to explore: WHY did you want those long locks? Every since you were a little girl? Why? Was it that the girls with long locks got the attention? They got noticed and you didn't? You need to deal with that. Same as you, my hair never grew past my neck. I wore relaxers for close to 30 years. 30 years trying to achieve that goal and you know what? The definition of INSANITY is doing the SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN and expecting DIFFERENT RESULTS. So I gave up that chase and grew that relaxer out and I'm not looking back. I have my days when folk look at me cross-eyed about my hair but I'm embracing that SINCE they're not paying for my hair, their "saying" anything about my hair is NULL and VOID. For real....

 

[Isis]

I have a love/ hate relationship with my hair and it is beautiful. I do not try to change its natural state to much and I fully believe we can have long hair, the proof is on this board it just seems we have to work so much harder at it.

I know for a fact that once God puts a curse one someone it can be for generations to come. Take Eve for instance: Child birth was suppose to be painless, once she took the apple God said that she would experience pain and joy at the same time. All women have suffered because of it . Jesus Christ died for our sins so that we may be forgiven I fully believe this. Also there are somethings that I feel God have set in place due to past actions. This has to be one of them. Look how different our hair is.

When it comes to our beautiful skin color, you have dark Lations and indians as well but their hair is also wash and go like the white race. So something is up.

As far as MSM I really believe it does change the texture, because as you all know by now I cut my hair really close and have been taken it and my har truely is growing in 3bish where ae before it was 4aish.

I don't see having kinky hair as being as curse from God. It certainly isn't in the Bible. As I mentioned, there are white people in places like Russia, Croatia, etc. who are born with kinky hair.

Some here have stated our hair has a more coarse texture because of geographics (Africa) and climate. So, was there kinky hair before the Biblical flood? The climate was very different on this planet before the flood--its was temperate and more tropical, the same everywhere.

 

[kally]

I think (I hope) that I'm reading here that with the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ that those who give their lives to Him are NO LONGER under that curse of childbirth.... 'cause that's how I understand it.... I don't have to have painful childbirths....

...that was slightly off topic but wanted to get this straight....

Back on topic: let's deal with the sobering fact that we have a CHOICE about our the "difficulty" of managing one's hair. It is VERY SOCIAL. We have the choice to WORK WITH IT (NOT AGAINST IT), WEAR A HAT, or LEAVE IT ALONE. But let's not put the blame others concerning the "difficulty" we have about our hair. Own that hair. It's the hair that you came on the planet with and should the Lord be so gracious, it's the hair we'll leave the planet with....

What I am saying is that God never intended for their to be pain during labor. Eve messed it up for us all. To my knowlege women still experience pain during delievry and have to rely on pain killers to stop it.

How does one have a pain free delivery? With out medicine, meditation, etc...

it is suppose to come natural without any help.

I do not blame God for our hair texure nor am I angry with him about it.

I am just trying to figure out why it is the way it is. Not to mention this has caused so much self hated in general for our race on this issue. I am not talking about us here at LHCF ers we know better. But look at the old generation and new ones coming up and how they view their image because of it.

 

[Ayeshia]

I don't see having kinky hair as being as curse from God. It certainly isn't in the Bible. As I mentioned, there are white people in places like Russia, Croatia, etc. who are born with kinky hair.

Some here have stated our hair has a more coarse texture because of geographics (Africa) and climate. So, was there kinky hair before the Biblical flood? The climate was very different on this planet before the flood--its was temperate and more tropical, the same everywhere.

I never looked at my hair as a curse...hell if Jesus really wanted to curse those with kinky hair, he would have made us BALD and patchy ya head?....imo thats a punishment. plus wasnt it said that Jesus had a wolly hair texture similar to our hair type?

 

[kally]

This is something that you probably need to explore: WHY did you want those long locks? Every since you were a little girl? Why? Was it that the girls with long locks got the attention? They got noticed and you didn't? You need to deal with that. Same as you, my hair never grew past my neck. I wore relaxers for close to 30 years. 30 years trying to achieve that goal and you know what? The definition of INSANITY is doing the SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN and expecting DIFFERENT RESULTS. So I gave up that chase and grew that relaxer out and I'm not looking back. I have my days when folk look at me cross-eyed about my hair but I'm embracing that SINCE they're not paying for my hair, their "saying" anything about my hair is NULL and VOID. For real....

I guess the reason I have always wanted long flowing locks is because. I feel I look better with it and to know that it is mine, without me having to buy false hair.

When I was a little girl I wanted it so I could wear the cute knockers that everyone was wearing to match the outfits., with the cute little twist. I have struggled with this for years. Up until recently (dec 06) I refused to let anyone see my real hair, because I use to be ashamed of it. I had no choice and to get it all cut off. It was to short for anything else, I did feel free, however that was short lived and I am wearing wraps.

 

[Dare~to~Dream]

My hair was so rolled up on my little head that when I saw a Polaroid from my birth date I was like .

Ha! My brother had very coarse hair as a baby. Everyone wondered why he didn't have the "baby hair" like everyone else...I was actually bald as a baby (with the exception of a few strands).

 

[PaperClip]

I guess the reason I have always wanted long flowing locks is because. I feel I look better with it and to know that it is mine, without me having to buy false hair.

When I was a little girl I wanted it so I could wear the cute knockers that everyone was wearing to match the outfits., with the cute little twist. I have struggled with this for years. Up until recently (dec 06) I refused to let anyone see my real hair, because I use to be ashamed of it. I had no choice and to get it all cut off. It was to short for anything else, I did feel free, however that was short lived and I am wearing wraps.

I feel your pain, believe me.... but we don't come out the womb "feeling like we look better with long hair" (well, maybe this could happen because babies can hear in the womb and maybe you heard something while you were in the womb like "I hope she has long hair"....)

But for the most part, you had to hear that thinking from somewhere.... and that kind of thinking wasn't fair to you. That kind of thinking isn't fair to any child.

 

[kally]

Maybe to use the word curse is a strong word and I really should not be using it when it comes to God's creation nor second guessing God on it, Which I am sorry if it comes across like that.

For the climate why is it that this has carried on down from generation to generation? You would think that with time changes our genes would go back to way it was before our people moved their. Where we really the only race of people living in those conditions so long ago? I know there had to be other races there as well.

 

[kally]

I feel your pain, believe me.... but we don't come out the womb "feeling like we look better with long hair" (well, maybe this could happen because babies can hear in the womb and maybe you heard something while you were in the womb like "I hope she has long hair"....)

But for the most part, you had to hear that thinking from somewhere.... and that kind of thinking wasn't fair to you. That kind of thinking isn't fair to any child.

LOL!!!! that is so true, that is all you hear. Pregnant women do talk constantly about the baby being born with "good hair" especially if it a girl. To tell you the truth I have no idea what I heard or how it all started. All I know is that I did not have it and wanted it.

 

[Isis]

What I am saying is that God never intended for their to be pain during labor. Eve messed it up for us all. To my knowlege women still experience pain during delievry and have to rely on pain killers to stop it.

How does one have a pain free delivery? With out medicine, meditation, etc...

it is suppose to come natural without any help.

I do not blame God for our hair texure nor am I angry with him about it.

I am just trying to figure out why it is the way it is. Not to mention this has caused so much self hated in general for our race on this issue. I am not talking about us here at LHCF ers we know better. But look at the old generation and new ones coming up and how they view their image because of it.

That self-hatred I think you are referring to is primarily in the U.S. and is based on slavery survival issues. It was based on the white American standard. It did/does not exist in Africa and other parts of the world where they love their hair no matter what the texture. Not all black Americans feel this self-hatred.

 

[MissMarie]

For the climate why is it that this has carried on down from generation to generation? You would think that with time changes our genes would go back to way it was before our people moved their. Where we really the only race of people living in those conditions so long ago? I know there had to be other races there as well.

Individual's hair did not change because of the climate. Genetic mutation and gene selection can take thousands of years. What happened is that people with certain variations had an advantage over others in different climates, as a result they were often healthier, they were more desirable as mates and their genes were more likely to be passed on to future generations. As a result, the characteristic that creates advantages for individual humans, and human populations, become more prevalent within that group of people. That doesn't mean that certain genes are completely eradicated, or that human populations were completed isolated and did not interact with populations that had different ranges of physical charecteristics. Thats why you see Europeans with eyes like central and east Asians, curly or even kinky hair like western Asians/north Africans, etc.
There is not as much genetic adaptation today because humans have so much control over their environments, we have technology to help us and science to keep as alive. Even though you have African descendents not living in the same conditions as their ancestors their genetic info isn't going to suddenly change, that sort of change does not happen on the individual level and in populations it takes millenia.
Our ancestors really were the only ones living in those types of environments long enough to develop those types of adaptations to the environment (which is why the greatest genetic diversity exists on the continent). Europe is a baby compared to Africa.

Our species, Homo sapiens, was born 170,000 years ago. The ancestors of modern humans began leaving Africa 70-80,000 years ago. So our ancestors had a 100,000 year headstart on developing physical traits that best dealt with the varied environments of their continent.

Before slavery and colonialism traits that were common to darker Africans were just viewed as part of the differences that existed amongst humanity. Its the history of the past 500 hundred years that has left black people with a complex about their hair and complexion (and also physiques and facial features); the notions of white supremacy that undergird the creation of this country have led to the denigration of everything African, especially the unique features (our hair is very unique, almost non-existent amongst other groups of people) of the continent and the diaspora.

 

[navsegda]

Individual's hair did not change because of the climate. Genetic mutation and gene selection can take thousands of years. What happened is that people with certain variations had an advantage over others in different climates, as a result they were often healthier, they were more desirable as mates and their genes were more likely to be passed on to future generations. As a result, the characteristic that creates advantages for individual humans, and human populations, become more prevalent within that group of people. That doesn't mean that certain genes are completely eradicated, or that human populations were completed isolated and did not interact with populations that had different ranges of physical charecteristics. Thats why you see Europeans with eyes like central and east Asians, curly or even kinky hair like western Asians/north Africans, etc.
There is not as much genetic adaptation today because humans have so much control over their environments, we have technology to help us and science to keep as alive. Even though you have African descendents not living in the same conditions as their ancestors their genetic info isn't going to suddenly change, that sort of change does not happen on the individual level and in populations it takes millenia.
Our ancestors really were the only ones living in those types of environments long enough to develop those types of adaptations to the environment (which is why the greatest genetic diversity exists on the continent). Europe is a baby compared to Africa.

Our species, Homo sapiens, was born 170,000 years ago. The ancestors of modern humans began leaving Africa 70-80,000 years ago. So our ancestors had a 100,000 year headstart on developing physical traits that best dealt with the varied environments of their continent.

Before slavery and colonialism traits that were common to darker Africans were just viewed as part of the differences that existed amongst humanity. Its the history of the past 500 hundred years that has left black people with a complex about their hair and complexion (and also physiques and facial features); the notions of white supremacy that undergird the creation of this country have led to the denigration of everything African, especially the unique features (our hair is very unique, almost non-existent amongst other groups of people) of the continent and the diaspora.

Thank you for this. I read your comments on another thread and I really hoped you would come in here hehe. Yay!

 

[Isis]

I never looked at my hair as a curse...hell if Jesus really wanted to curse those with kinky hair, he would have made us BALD and patchy ya head?....imo thats a punishment. plus wasnt it said that Jesus had a wolly hair texture similar to our hair type?

Jesus was Jewish so it's very possible he had a kinky hair type.