Video Op: #hurtbae Just Wants To Know Why He Cheated

[ChasingBliss]

Yeah this was a step too far trying to be funny. I bet you a guy wrote it.

I didn't watch and I don't want to. I know it will piss me off. But I envy the people that have never ever ever wanted to know why. I didn't gain this wisdom until maybe my mid 20's. I remember going through this with my first college boyfriend and homeboy took a call right in front of me making plans to go visit some girl in another state. I asked him who she was and what he thought she was doing. Ya know instead of just getting my stuff and leaving. Smh His response? Word for word "She's not worried about you so why are you worried about her". It took me maybe another 3 months to end things with him because I was trying to prove that I was better than the other girl. What a sad fool I was.

My blood just boiled. Ugh.. but we live and learn.... It doesn't help that society again teaches us to blame ourselves for a man's attitude and behavior. But in the wrong way. The only responsibility I should ever take that involves a man cheating on me is LEAVING the relationship IMMEDIATELY.

For a long time, I really never understood the attraction to a person after that type of violation. But I realize when your self esteem is tied to outside validation...you are as vulnerable as new born puppy on the highway. Sometimes it takes this type of pain to see it and then you make sure you never go through that mess again. I'm glad you can look back with better insight.

 

[Flourishnikov]

Any dude with that haircut is a cheater. 3A hair too? He'll never been faithful

I didn't think the video was sad but it was telling when he asked why she stayed with him. Like, he knows she knows what he's doing she stuck around anyway.

 

[lesedi]

I saw this yesterday. I just cannot understand why a woman would allow someone to treat her this way. And she's saying he's her best friend??

The worst part is how many women were resounding that they could relate and have been in her situation. Like why?? How?? I don't get it.

You've never been young and heartbroken? Or lost yourself in a relationship? Stayed too long with the wrong one? I think most of us have been where she is at some point. There's no worse heartbreak than the first time.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

You've never been young and heartbroken? Or lost yourself in a relationship? Stayed too long with the wrong one? I think most of us have been where she is at some point. There's no worse heartbreak than the first time.

No I have not. Not ever. I don't stick around in relationships that aren't good for my wellbeing, romantic or otherwise.

 

[lesedi]

No I have not. Not ever. I don't stick around in relationships that aren't good for my wellbeing, romantic or otherwise.

Good for you- That's how it should be. Most of us haven't led perfect lives and have made bad judgements and mistakes which, over time we have grown and learnt from.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

Good for you- That's how it should be. Most of us haven't led perfect lives and have made bad judgements and mistakes which, over time we have grown and learnt from.

I don't expect anyone to be perfect but come on. A man cheating on you so many times he can't even estimate how many and telling you to get out when you walk in on him with another woman? That's too much for me. And to still be willing to be his friend?? I can't imagine.

 

[nlamr2013]

I saw this yesterday. I just cannot understand why a woman would allow someone to treat her this way. And she's saying he's her best friend??

The worst part is how many women were resounding that they could relate and have been in her situation. Like why?? How?? I don't get it.

This me. Everyone's like oh he's terrible but she's stupid for staying with him
But I mean they were both young they're 23 now and I think they broke up back in 2015 so 20 21 ish. Babies living fast

 

[lesedi]

I don't expect anyone to be perfect but come on. A man cheating on you so many times he can't even estimate how many and telling you to get out when you walk in on him with another woman? That's too much for me. And to still be willing to be his friend?? I can't imagine.

I empathize with her, betrayal cuts deep and you think the wound will never heal...but by no means do I think that she should have stayed and allowed herself to be further abused by the dude Hopefully she's learnt from this.

 

[Dee_33]

Instead of asking why he cheated she should ask herself why she stayed. Cheaters gone cheat, the reason doesn't matter. You cheat, I leave no questions asked.

 

[Layluh]

I hope other girls see this who require "closure" and this gives them the closure they need

 

[LiftedUp]

He cheated because he opportunity presented itself and didn't like/love her enough to choose not to. - that's prob the reason

 

[FemmeFatale]

I personally would never do it but I can understand why she did....so many times you wonder if there was something you could've done or said differently to change the outcome and WHY did they cheat on you? Were you not good enough, pretty enough? etc.

It takes time, maturity and a healthy dose of self love & inner reflection (at least for me it did) to realize that nothing you could've done except leave would change the outcome, hopefully she learned something from it.

See when someone hurts me, my knee jerk reaction is to dead them completely, why you did it is irrelevant cause it's over either way. I just don't have a forgiving or bleeding heart like that if you've wronged me. I'm not perfect but I'm too good for that.

 

[awhyley]

What the entire F did I just read?!

Exactly. I had to do a double take like George.

 

[God_Favor]

She'll get over it. It isn't about him. She needs to evaluate why she was so broken and desperate to accept bull. You can't be responsible for others actions , you only can control your reaction in these types of situations.

She is so pretty to me and seems so fragile.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

See when someone hurts me, my knee jerk reaction is to dead them completely, why you did it is irrelevant cause it's over either way. I just don't have a forgiving or bleeding heart like that if you've wronged me. I'm not perfect but I'm too good for that.

I wish I was like that when I was younger, I was with someone from 19-26 and he was pretty much a serial cheater, I never caught him red-handed like she did but for him I was a bleeding heart, I gave him chance after chance after chance & listened to every excuse in the book because I thought he would love me enough to change eventually. I was disgustingly loyal, for absolutely no reason

I didn't obtain the strength to cut off people who hurt me until after that relationship, that's just not the quality that came naturally or at least not when it came to him I learned a valuable lesson from that though, my tolerance for BS is nonexistent now, I have maturity and a no good ex to thank for that

 

[Sally.]

Exactly. I had to do a double take like George.

Omg! Lol. Where is the gif from???

 

[PJaye]

Am I the only one that laughed (more like barked and slapped my knee) at the name Leonard?

 

[JerriBlank]

I turned it off when she started talking about going through his phone. I feel bad for her. Wtf, she seems so fragile.
Sitting there and taking emotional blows like that. I could not finish it. And he's sitting up there looking silly, like he's not the one that did this.

 

[JerriBlank]

She'll get over it. It isn't about him. She needs to evaluate why she was so broken and desperate to accept bull. You can't be responsible for others actions , you only can control your reaction in these types of situations.

She is so pretty to me and seems so fragile.

Didn't see your post, but yes, she is almost crumbling before his eyes. I don't even know how she would start to heal. What point is she currently at in the process?

 

[CocoGlow]

Wow I feel so bad for her ... plenty of women have been there .... I may not have been in her exact situation but I can certainly relate to her need for closure and her delusional tendencies

Just looking at the body language .... she still loves him even after all that he put her through ... just the way she looks at him with that shy girly grin, her eyes light up when looking at him and reminiscing on the past.... he, on the other hand looks at her with what looks like disdain, pity, etc ... No reaction every time she teared up ... his eyes vacant ...Whatever it is, the feelings are NOT mutual and they never really were...Yes he may have called her his best friend because he's never met a woman with a heart like hers and a self-esteem so low that would accept his mess, but he just greedily accepted her love and got comfortable ... he didn't love her because if he did he would have either cherished her or let her go if he was not ready for commitment ... he played her for a fool and she let him.

Even the way he asked her why she never left him after he cheated came across to me like he WANTED her to leave ... he knew he didn't deserve her but didn't have the guts to break it off with her (like a LOT of men) .... he wanted his cake and eat it too but I'm sure if she did so much as flirt with another guy he would have left and never looked back - He asked why she didn't leave because he knows darn well that if the roles were reversed he would have left her in a heartbeat!

 

[greight]

This is why I'm heartless

Didn't watch the video but I'd have moved on. He would have been dead to me and I would have saved my emotions. I know it ain't easy, but when I realized how horrible men are... you have to prove to me you're worth my time.

 

[chassiecrane]

I wish I would EVER.....good luck chile

 

[Damaris.Elle]

Am I the only one that laughed (more like barked and slapped my knee) at the name Leonard?

Lol no, I did too. The name just doesn't fit him AT ALL.

I hated the whole video. When he said he "wasn't counting" the number of times he cheated on her, I wanted to punch him in the face. The part at the end where he said "I hope we can remain friends and I get to see you grow as a woman" and smiled that fake, sleazy smile REALLY pissed me off. No, he absolutely SHOULD NOT have the privilege of being "friends" with her and "seeing her grow". I hope she completely cuts him off..he should be dead to her.

 

[LovinLea]

Yeah this was a step too far trying to be funny. I bet you a guy wrote it.

I didn't watch and I don't want to. I know it will piss me off. But I envy the people that have never ever ever wanted to know why. I didn't gain this wisdom until maybe my mid 20's. I remember going through this with my first college boyfriend and homeboy took a call right in front of me making plans to go visit some girl in another state. I asked him who she was and what he thought she was doing. Ya know instead of just getting my stuff and leaving. Smh His response? Word for word "She's not worried about you so why are you worried about her". It took me maybe another 3 months to end things with him because I was trying to prove that I was better than the other girl. What a sad fool I was.

Thank you for saying this. Everybody acts like they've never been young and dumb with a man that just ain't ish talking about "If you have to go through his phone, leave" or "Couldn't be me". But we've all been through it, that's how we learn to do better.

She's a young college girl away from her friends and family. I bet that was her only companion at school which is why at 21 "she couldn't picture life without him". I've made the same mistake--only having a boyfriend, no friends while away from family. Never again will I let a man be everything.

 

[FemmeFatale]

I wish I was like that when I was younger, I was with someone from 19-26 and he was pretty much a serial cheater, I never caught him red-handed like she did but for him I was a bleeding heart, I gave him chance after chance after chance & listened to every excuse in the book because I thought he would love me enough to change eventually. I was disgustingly loyal, for absolutely no reason

I didn't obtain the strength to cut off people who hurt me until after that relationship, that's just not the quality that came naturally or at least not when it came to him I learned a valuable lesson from that though, my tolerance for BS is nonexistent now, I have maturity and a no good ex to thank for that

I'm glad you were able to get over that heart ache and learn that you deserve better. In general, I don't like to stress over things that I can control/eliminate because I get bad headaches and it affects my life, I like to be happy. No ninja is worth all of that to me.

Now that I think about it, my mom isn't the bleeding heart type either, I've never seen her sad/devastated over my dad either lol, she's more of a gtfoh type if my dad annoys her and he'll take his book and go to the next room until he figures out how to fix things. I wish I had a glimpse of how she was when she was younger before all of us and my dad, I know she was a savage, lol.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Thank you for saying this. Everybody acts like they've never been young and dumb with a man that just ain't ish talking about "If you have to go through his phone, leave" or "Couldn't be me". But we've all been through it, that's how we learn to do better.

She's a young college girl away from her friends and family. I bet that was her only companion at school which is why at 21 "she couldn't picture life without him". I've made the same mistake--only having a boyfriend, no friends while away from family. Never again will I let a man be everything.

But there are women that are actually like this, like I've never been the snoop/go through the phone type even in my early 20s and I've never allowed myself to be pressed over a bad man. I'm also not the emotionally needy type and have no issues being single/alone.

The way I'm watching this is like omg this girl is beautiful and seems very nice, wtf does she care about that hammerhead *** ex? Why is she begging and pleading, doesn't she just see that he's trash?

 

[FemmeFatale]

This is why I'm heartless

Didn't watch the video but I'd have moved on. He would have been dead to me and I would have saved my emotions. I know it ain't easy, but when I realized how horrible men are... you have to prove to me you're worth my time.

All men aren't like this, I think certain people attract certain things, that guy was an emotional vampire, cheater and a manipulator and the girl was just super needy and weak. He knew who to do that mess to.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

Thank you for saying this. Everybody acts like they've never been young and dumb with a man that just ain't ish talking about "If you have to go through his phone, leave" or "Couldn't be me". But we've all been through it, that's how we learn to do better.

She's a young college girl away from her friends and family. I bet that was her only companion at school which is why at 21 "she couldn't picture life without him". I've made the same mistake--only having a boyfriend, no friends while away from family. Never again will I let a man be everything.

Everybody doesn't go through this. Especially to this extreme where he was being blatantly disrespectful and cruel and she still has stars in her eyes when she's talking to him. Too many women are conditioned/socialized to accept this kind of behavior from friends and boyfriends, but it's not an inevitable part of life.

 

[LdyKamz]

I could see if the girl was 35 going through this! Some people go through things like this and learn and never look back. But in the moment, being young, dumb and in love is all she can see. Maybe she'll grow up, learn from this and be fine. For those that never went through it, was born with a perfect bs reader and savage take no nonsense heart more power to you. Great! Didn't happen that way for everyone.

I would have hated to be friends with some y'all when I went through this in college. There's tough love and then there's judgemental "she's stupid, couldn't be me". Damn. My best friend in college was tough on me telling me I deserved better but she never ever compared me to other women (or herself) saying it wouldn't be her which is essentially what keeps a woman with low self esteem where she is. Especially from the people that supposedly care about her. I would have felt even more worthless if that was her reaction to me.

I feel bad for this girl and can't see myself behaving this way NOW and I've never been in her position exactly but it isn't as foreign thing to me. I hope this will open her eyes and she does the right thing for herself and her heart.

 

[LdyKamz]

I'm on the train and Fifth Harmony that's my girl just came on and reminded me that at that time my friend made me a lame arse mixed CD that she labeled "girl power" Wish I could do the same for her.