Traumatized :/

chelseatiara said:
we're in college so the guy should be around 20 ...i do feel like a first grader at the moment :(
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They are old enough to act like the young men they are and not some grade school boys teasing the cute girls on the playground. Maybe let the gym's management know you are being bothered by some of their patrons? They might handle it in such a way that you won't need to have your own bodyguards with you next time.
 
MissMasala5 said:
They are old enough to act like the young men they are and not some grade school boys teasing the cute girls on the playground. Maybe let the gym's management know you are being bothered by some of their patrons? They might handle it in such a way that you won't need to have your own bodyguards with you next time.
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Sadly I have bodyguards everywhere I go. These men cant take no for an answer :nono:
 
Giiiiirl, what gym are you going to?!

Usually they are different guys but this one was just particularly aggressive
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Umm...no. How about rude, disrespectful, and given the fact that you were on a stationary bike, dangerous?

Sounds like we (read: you) need to set some boundaries.

And sounds like there's a whole mess of dudes who need some hometraining...

And something about it all sounds "off"...
 
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Uhhhhmmmm....

Wow. Hmmmmm.....


So seriously, you have to have body guards everywhere you go? I can't fathom this. It sounds like you were trying to get attention and have your so fight for your honor. If this is not the case I apologize, it just sounds like there is extra being put on it. If not, my apologies. why didn't the other men you were with handle the creep since so was preoccupied?
 
chelseatiara said:
Sadly I have bodyguards everywhere I go. These men cant take no for an answer :nono:
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Don't shoot the messenger, but honestly, I can't help but feel like there's a twinge of "I like the attention" (excluding the pulling-you-off-a-stationery-bike attention) in your response...
 
Je Ne Sais Quoi said:
Uhhhhmmmm....

Wow. Hmmmmm.....


So seriously, you have to have body guards everywhere you go? I can't fathom this. It sounds like you were trying to get attention and have your so fight for your honor. If this is not the case I apologize, it just sounds like there is extra being put on it. If not, my apologies. why didn't the other men you were with handle the creep since so was preoccupied?
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Body guards= my/SO's guy friends which out number my girlfriends whom i hang out with most of them time

I wasnt trying to get attention. I was trying to avoid people as usual by getting on the treadmill by the door away from people but it was occupied so i did the next best thing. No extra-ness. The other men were occupied/waiting for SO to do something...I didnt want him to fight but i want him to do SOMETHING :/
 
chelseatiara said:
Body guards= my/SO's guy friends which out number my girlfriends whom i hang out with most of them time

I wasnt trying to get attention. I was trying to avoid people as usual by getting on the treadmill by the door away from people but it was occupied so i did the next best thing. No extra-ness. The other men were occupied/waiting for SO to do something...I didnt want him to fight but i want him to do SOMETHING :/
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There are people who work at this gym whose job it is to "do something" that won't end up in an altercation that could wind up with people getting hurt or worse, you know? Report the incident to management and let them take it from there.
 
Je Ne Sais Quoi said:
Uhhhhmmmm....

Wow. Hmmmmm.....


So seriously, you have to have body guards everywhere you go? I can't fathom this. It sounds like you were trying to get attention and have your so fight for your honor. If this is not the case I apologize, it just sounds like there is extra being put on it. If not, my apologies. why didn't the other men you were with handle the creep since so was preoccupied?
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Exactly. It has been some time since I've been in an undergraduate gym, but I can't imagine times have changed THAT MUCH where there's a bunch of "men" in the gym, and they're all going to continue benchpressing while you're being disrespected without some sort of intervention. Or that one of you're SO's friends wouldn't be like "yoo, bruh, I think you need to go help SO-ette out".

Back to topic: if its really a concern, you need to have a conversation with SO and talk to the folks who run the gym.

Somehow I doubt its going to go that far...
 
This is completely unacceptable. There should be gym attendants that you can report this behavior to. If not, you might need to just get a regular gym membership elsewhere. I stopped using the weight room because I got intimidated by the athletes. They didn't try anything, but it's not really a co-ed type of environment in the college gyms.
 
^^^Wow. Thats exactly what happened. People have never stood by while a woman was being harrassed. Anyway I shouted I need an adult because thats what my friends told me to say to get there attention.
 
NYAmicas said:
Sorry that happened to you OP. I'd be doing everything in my power to get that guy banned from the gym.
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Thank you very much. Im going to see about that tomorrow.

I would get a gym membership but getting there would be a problem due to the fact that my schedule is very hectic and i have no car. This is the only gym that the school offers to non-athletic students :( I dont try to draw attention to my self and dress like the guys when I go (long t shirts and basketball shorts/sweatpants). Girls dont come there often but when they do they have on tights/booty short and arent there for the equipment which makes it hard on women like me who try to stay fit, healthy, safe, and respected.
 
Syrah said:
Giiiiirl, what gym are you going to?!

Umm...no. How about rude, disrespectful, and given the fact that you were on a stationary bike, dangerous?

Sounds like we (read: you) need to set some boundaries.

And sounds like there's a whole mess of dudes who need some hometraining...

And something about it all sounds "off"...
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That's what I'm thinking. It's time to change gyms. If you have to have people around you to exercise you're in the wrong place. BTW there are gyms just for women now too. Perhaps you need to look into those:look:.
I'm more appalled by the behavior. There are some gorgeous women every where and men aren't touching them every five seconds. Wondering why the men are so aggressive here (and I'm not blaming you just wondering where you live that men feel the need to touch you every five seconds). That's just crazy.

In addition...what did you want your man to do? Go to jail and start a fight? From what you tell me he didn't know that this guy did anything to you. And when he found out he addressed it unless I'm missing something.

I'm thinking you need to change locations. I wouldn't bother with asking people (who work there) to monitor me. If I don't like my environment I change it. Perhaps you need to change your environment. Find a less aggressive gym (even if you have to drive further) or an all ladies gym. I know there's a ton in NYC (probably because sometimes you want to work out without being oggled...and that's not even touched just approached). Perhaps you should try one of those.
 
luckiestdestiny said:
That's what I'm thinking. It's time to change gyms. If you have to have people around you to exercise you're in the wrong place. BTW there are gyms just for women now too. Perhaps you need to look into those:look:.
I'm more appalled by the behavior. There are some gorgeous women every where and men aren't touching them every five seconds. Wondering why the men are so aggressive here (and I'm not blaming you just wondering where you live that men feel the need to touch you every five seconds). That's just crazy.

In addition...what did you want your man to do? Go to jail and start a fight? From what you tell me he didn't know that this guy did anything to you. And when he found out he addressed it unless I'm missing something.

I'm thinking you need to change locations. I wouldn't bother with asking people (who work there) to monitor me. If I don't like my environment I change it. Perhaps you need to change your environment. Find a less aggressive gym (even if you have to drive further) or an all ladies gym. I know there's a ton in NYC (probably because sometimes you want to work out without being oggled...and that's not even touched just approached). Perhaps you should try one of those.
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I have no car. I only have a certain time i can workout with messing with the rest of my life. I would have to stop going completely. I really wouldnt need anyone to monitor me if they monitored the gym properly, which they dont.
 
Jogging alone is very dangerous in my area and makes the situation even worse when people are outside. There has been a murder and two robberies this year alone on campus, not to mention fighting and such.
 
What in the world?! This is outrageous. What about the male friend you were racing on the stationary bike? Didn't he see when the guy pulled you off your bicycle? What kind of friend is he that he didn't say anything to someone who did that to you? I don't understand, you have your SO and several male friends there and no one saw or stood up for you? They're the worst bodyguards ever.

Anyway, you shouldn't need bodyguards at all. This gym sounds buck wild. I would report what happened. I wouldn't even wait for it to happen again. It is completely unacceptable for someone to pull you off your bike by your hair. wth?! If the gym people can't handle it, the law can. How you gonna pull a woman by her hair and make her fall to the ground? I mean, isn't that assault? What in the world?
 
Am I the only one completely baffled by this story?:perplexed some thing(s) don't add up:look:

OP are you the only woman at the gym to experience this type of harassment or have other women been subject to it as well?

Have you ever reported any of these incidents? There are too many instances of harrasment from what I read in your responses for you not to have reported at least one of them. What gives?:perplexed
 
I'm sorry for the ordeal you went through and I don't mean any harm but why is this in the relationship forum?

I would probably do some work out DVD/tapes in my dorm if the gym was that hood/out of control. Don't be mad at your SO...he didn't do anything to harm you.
 
Sounds like you need to find another gym or workout at home. I'm going to side with your SO. What if he gets in an altercation and is seriously harmed or instead seriously harms someone else and ends up in jail. It's not worth it just so you can workout.

Also, if some dude would have snatched me like that I would have called the police and had them handle it.
 
Etherealsmile26 said:
Am I the only one completely baffled by this story?:perplexed some thing(s) don't add up:look:

OP are you the only woman at the gym to experience this type of harassment or have other women been subject to it as well?

Have you ever reported any of these incidents? There are too many instances of harrasment from what I read in your responses for you not to have reported at least one of them. What gives?:perplexed
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Report to who exactly? If the people didnt do anything, and SUPD NEVER does anything what exactly am i supposed to do? Even as im telling you the honest truth im being victimized and accused of being an "attention seeker." I dont talk to the other women at the gym because I prefer not to be associated with those types of women. I really dont see the purpose of all these nasty remarks. This is why many women dont report harassment of any kind because many people make it out to be the woman's fault if they believe her at all.
 
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