Transitioning without BC'ing Support Thread

[LdyKamz]

I am only 11 weeks post but I am seriously considering doing a BC. It's not that I don't think I can do a long transition because with the help of this board and patience I'm confident that I can. It is more about just being tired of this relaxed hair. I am just so bored. I can try different styles I guess but I just don't like straight hair anymore.

Also I know it would take some getting used to. I work in a corporate office. The corporate part isn't the problem. The stupid people are the problem. My office is literally like all the stupid people were gathered on the earth and dropped there. I really just don't want to deal with my nosy desk neighbor staring at me all day long (she already does this) even more because I won't have hair. I guess I'm just weighing my pros and cons and complaining at the same time.

Any advice or words of encouragement?

 

[bhndbrwneyes]

Do any transitioners attempt WNGs? I wore one today and there was a noticable difference in my two textures. It's not AS bad when I do a braid or twist out. If you managed to do a decent looking WNG with transitioning hair, what did you do to make your relaxed hair to look like your natural hair? Scrunch it up?

 

[bigbrowneyez]

I am only 11 weeks post but I am seriously considering doing a BC. It's not that I don't think I can do a long transition because with the help of this board and patience I'm confident that I can. It is more about just being tired of this relaxed hair. I am just so bored. I can try different styles I guess but I just don't like straight hair anymore.

Also I know it would take some getting used to. I work in a corporate office. The corporate part isn't the problem. The stupid people are the problem. My office is literally like all the stupid people were gathered on the earth and dropped there. I really just don't want to deal with my nosy desk neighbor staring at me all day long (she already does this) even more because I won't have hair. I guess I'm just weighing my pros and cons and complaining at the same time.

Any advice or words of encouragement?

I can understand being tired of your relaxed hair, but I think you should think about your options between transitioning and BC'ing. I'm only 4 months into a transition and there are times I think about just cutting my hair but I know for me, I don't want to make that big decision on impulse or because I'm tired of seeing my straight hair. If you want to BC and you're sure that's what you, then by all means go for it!

As for the people at you job, you will always have people who will judge you either out of ignorance or whatever else. But you should do what YOU want to do and what will make YOU happy. Going natural goes against the grain and it takes confidence to stand against those who may not agree or understand your decision. But you can always draw support on here! I would suggest you think about what you truly want and decide from there. If you're tired of your hair, u can do rod sets, braidouts, twist outs, cornrows, etc for a more textured or curly look.

Hope that helps!

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[havilland]

KammyGirl I say give it a month or so. If u still want to chop, go for it. Do it once you are sure. And then u will be able to withstand all the office drama.

bhndbrwneyes no. Wash n go doesn't work for me. I can do a Wng pony. That's it. The ends get in my way.

 

[LdyKamz]

I just spoke to my sister and told her what I wanted to do. She said that sounded great but she doesn't think I'll be comfortable and I'll want to do something different a few months down the line. I actually feel the opposite. For me going natural isn't just about changing my hairstyle, it's about changing ME as a person. I know it may not be as deep as that for some but it's turning into a big deal for me and I think I'm ready to let go. I talked to my boyfriend too and he says he's ready with the scissors and clippers when I am. lol But I agree with you havilland I'm going to wait another month or 2 and see how I feel.

bigbrowneyez thanks for the suggestion. I'm all over those rod sets these days. I actually really like the style on me. Can't wait to do those on completely natural hair for a fuller look.

 

[Napp]

After resisting for so long I think I might get a weave or high quality lace front. I will be really busy this summer and I don't think I will have time to maintain my hair at all.

I couldn't justify myself buying hair. I just can't do it anymore! Id rather use the money and get myself a facial or something. everytime I buy hair it just goes into my hair box because I just don't feel comfortable with fake hair.

I decided to braid up my real hair and then make and updo. I felt like such a fuddy duddy. i don't know how some of these youtubers make updos look so cute but I feel like they look awful on me.

I washed my hair in 2 big braid and let it dry like that. It would be a decent style if i hadn't cut off my hair

I am ready to throw in the towel. right now I just wrangled my hair in to a bun that looks like something from the victorian era

just imaging the newgrowth being the bottom and my relaxed hair making the tiny bun on the top. It looks a HAM.

I would straighten it but its getting hot and I can't stand the hot scalp feeling with straight hair. I can't cut my hair though because I am looking for a new job and I need a neat professional look. NG is too long at this point to get away with the short look.

Transitioning wouldn't be so frustrating if I wasn't so darn anal!

 

[havilland]

Napp girl you are wrong for posting that picture! Lmao!
I feel your pain. That's how I felt last week. I was ready to relax. I was just sick of my hair and tangles and styles and just all of it! I flat ironed and have been wearing it straight ever since.

I know u don't like fake hair. BUT have u considered a small clip in weave. Like the 4 inch? I think.....anyway. It's just a piece of hair. You can clip it in your roots to give some fullness. Then your bun won't be so anorexic. I tried a clip on piece this week to fill out my flat iron. I was surprised. It looks naturAl. My real hair hides it. BUT it camouflaged my thinned ends and made them look decent.

Hang in there!

 

[TokyoReina]

I just cut my hair not long ago but I am already frustrated with it! I just don't know what to do with it. I tried to flat iron it last night and it was the biggest fail. I'm about to order some hair and just forget about it for a while. I literally broke into tears last night when I looked in the mirror and saw the mess I spent 4 hours on.

 

[havilland]

I just cut my hair not long ago but I am already frustrated with it! I just don't know what to do with it. I tried to flat iron it last night and it was the biggest fail. I'm about to order some hair and just forget about it for a while. I literally broke into tears last night when I looked in the mirror and saw the mess I spent 4 hours on.

This is "I hate my hair" week. Seems like a few of us are frustrated with our locks right about now...... Solidarity Sisters! Hold on to the dream! (Insert your own generic positive cheer message here)

 

[swite]

wet bunning all summer. its easy, just takes a little practice and technique to minimize damage.

i use a donut roll to make my bun look presentable but i want to cover it in silk cloth to protect my hair. something tells me that the foam is going to do more harm than good in the long run. my hair isnt quite long enough for an independent bun yet.

I'm tiiiiired of these overprocessed, damaged, ugly, perm-red (yall know that ugly color lol) ends now. they look so thin and sparse compared to the thick lush new growth I have. I don't even like wearing my hair out because of it...that's why i'm so dependent on buns now.

have you guys seen these ponytail holders? I think i'm in love!

i get absolutely NO breakage from these. they were 3 dollars and some change at the grocery store. you just have to be careful taking them out, like with any other pony holder. they automatically tighten so you don't have to loop them over and over again for a good hold. no clips or prongs, just a little ring of silicone.

 

[NIN4eva]

This is "I hate my hair" week. Seems like a few of us are frustrated with our locks right about now...... Solidarity Sisters! Hold on to the dream! (Insert your own generic positive cheer message here)

For REAL. I cut my bangs this week. It was a really dumb thing to do with summer coming in Chicago. But I'm bunning indefinitely and I am SO sick of looking at my forehead... ugh. It also seems that there are NO natural looking clip in bang pieces out there.

 

[Jobwright]

Just took my kinky twists out. My God there is ALOT of new growth up there! Whoooo-weeeee! I am dcing in twists over night with a baggy and skully. I live the way my new growth is all wavy but those ends...5 months in, 19 more to go! Y'all pray for me.

 

[swite]

Jobwright how are your edges after the kinky twists?

Twists and braids tore my hair up the first time I attempted to go natural. My edges looked like scorched earth. I gave up on being natural from the breakage and thinning and went back to relaxers. I really want some senegalese twists but i dont trust anyone to do them because i'm afraid they'll snatch my edges & i'm too lazy to do them myself. Same with sew ins.

 

[Jobwright]

swite my edges are good. I played super duper tender headed when I was getting them done so the braided was sooooo gentle. I ooowed and moaned the whole time so she would get the message. I'm sure she was irritated with me but its my money and my hair so I didn't feel bad about it. I only kept them for 4 weeks because I had sooooo much new growth (I give credit to NJoys oil) and the edges were dangling. I opted to take them out instead of getting the edges redone because I needed to DC and let my hair breath for a minute. Not sure what I will do with my hair now. Getting ready to rinse and DC again with oil, then a tea rinse. After that, IDK, probably a bun for the rest of the week. How are you wearing your hair now?

 

[Jobwright]

swite BTW, same thing happend to me one year ago. I let the braiders take the extensions out and my hair literally came out with them. Then I went to the Dominicans to get a blow out and they immediately shampooed which made a HUGE KNOT on the top of my head. After they ripped my hair literally out of my head, I decided to start my HHJ. I really didn't have a choice but everything works in order. I had no edges, some spots as short as an inch, some 8 inches, terrible! I learned my lessons. The main ones being to moisturize braids and seal daily, wash weekly, take them out myself and DC FIRST! Also, twists are easier to remove than braids in my opinion.

 

[OneShinyface]

I have to get used to the frizzies. My hair does not care how much gel or pomade I use, after 30 minutes, it poofs back up. On the other hand, I do rather enjoy my waves.

I think I'm going to try my second attempt a braid out or a twist out for the weekend. I'm okay with having a frizzy twist out. Fingers are crossed that it works this time.

 

[Carman]

I have to get used to the frizzies. My hair does not care how much gel or pomade I use, after 30 minutes, it poofs back up. On the other hand, I do rather enjoy my waves.

I think I'm going to try my second attempt a braid out or a twist out for the weekend. I'm okay with having a frizzy twist out. Fingers are crossed that it works this time.

Y'all are going to fuss at me! Lol! But I mix Eco styler, Argan oil, and a little bit of honey for my edges when i do my bun and they don't go anywhere! Idk if its the "right" thing to do but my frizzy edges drive me loco!!! Lol!

 

[Carman]

I'm at the point where I'm starting to hate my hair!!! I'm just coming up to 7 months... Idk if I've retained any length since I've last posted. Nothing works any more!!! When I flatiron, my hair gets dry and poofy in a matter of minutes! (I had a lady come up to me and tell me I needed my hair done after spending 2 hours that same day doing it) I just roller set my hair Monday and it ended up a tangled poofy mess by mid day Tuesday. It seems like my hair has just given up on cooperating. The only thing that seems to be working are these boring buns!

I'm really considering trying a upart wig... Or a partial sew in... Idk yet... Anything but this craziness on the top of my head right now!!!

Any suggestions?

 

[bhndbrwneyes]

@Carman

I'm at the point where I'm starting to hate my hair!!! I'm just coming up to 7 months... Idk if I've retained any length since I've last posted. Nothing works any more!!! When I flatiron, my hair gets dry and poofy in a matter of minutes! (I had a lady come up to me and tell me I needed my hair done after spending 2 hours that same day doing it) I just roller set my hair Monday and it ended up a tangled poofy mess by mid day Tuesday. It seems like my hair has just given up on cooperating. The only thing that seems to be working are these boring buns!

I'm really considering trying a upart wig... Or a partial sew in... Idk yet... Anything but this craziness on the top of my head right now!!!

Any suggestions?

No retention since your last post? Well it says you've posted only 8 minutes before this post...i'd say that's good. JK I would say the first 4-12 months is the hardest. I'm not done with my transition I'm only 15 months in but it has gotten much easier. One thing that got me when i first started was product build up on my hair. I didn't read much about co-washing and chelating and all that jazz and i didn't realize that I the "gunk" i felt was product build up but it felt disgusting and looked worst. I was using Cantu Shea Butter products only cuz i heard someone mention shea butter once but i hadn't done any research. Well my hair doesn't really like shea butter unless its mixed with a lot of water and my hair definitely doesn't like a lot of it without it being washed out. My point is, maybe you need to

1.) Re-evaluate what products you are using. Don't just hop on bandwagons if certain product lines or ingredients aren't working for your hair. Also, find the best products for your porosity, texture, thickness, etc. As for products for different hair types, I think most products work great on both 3 and 4 type hair, it's really the other points of interest that people need to pay attention to.

2.) Up your DCing efforts. Maybe increase the number of times you do it per week/month. Try using it with some sort of heat (from a dryer, from steam in the shower, from a baggy, etc). Be sure to keep a good protein/moisture balance though

3.) Speaking of baggying...try that or increase the amount you do it.

4.) Don't care about what anyone else says. I'm fortunate to have people around me that watch their tongue because I KNOW I go out some days looking a mess cuz i don't feel like slabbing some gel on my edges and/or brushing them down. The front half of my hair looks probably like i got struck by lightning but i don't care cuz my hair is pulled back in some sort of PS and my hair is gonna grow. No shame here.

5.) Try twist/braid outs. I think it is the best style for transitioning because it makes your hair look like all one texture (for the most part, sometimes i have a hard time getting my relaxed hair to form the style as well).

6.) Reduce your manipulation. I'm not sure how often you flat iron but maybe you are getting heat damage so your hair is drying out faster? Also, from experience when I would have bad ends that needed trimming I'd be in denial and just flatiron flatiron flatiron. They'd look good for about 5 minutes and then bush up. Don't forget to pamper your ends by moisturizing and sealing and if they get in bad shape to just say goodbye to them. You don't want your split ends to cause SSKs or to split further up the hair shaft.

 

[Jobwright]

Carman I feel you girl. Frustration is a part of the process. I can get my ends beautifully moisturized but my 5 inches of new growth are dry as the desert. I wish I could find a moisturizer/DC that could penetrate my "real hair". Once I get that figured out, I think everything will be easy breezy. So, to avoid over manipulation and ripping through my desert, I am protective styling to the utmost with braids (extensions), cornrows under wigs, gelled buns, etc. Buns get boring to me too but I am looking at the big picture. Boring now equals awesomeness later. My most frustrating moments are when my hair is loose. So I try not to loosen it but once a week. I baggy at night and leave it alone. Hang in there! You can make it! And if anyone knows of a GREAT DC, hook a sistah up PLEASE!

 

[beauti]

hi ladies. I have decided that unless my hair is protected under a wig,weave,or braids, I will be a heat training transitioner. I'm actually 8mos post and my two textures are a nightmare to deal with. Ain't nobody got time to spend two hours detangling I've had my hair flat ironed for two weeks now,worn in a bun the whole time. Will be pre pooing overnight tonight and dcing tomorrow.Then I will blow dry only and maintain for another two weeks, basically alternating between blow drying and flat ironing(keeping hair stretched) until I can find a good lace wig. Hopefully this will make it a smooth transition

 

[Dayjoy]

hi ladies. I have decided that unless my hair is protected under a wig,weave,or braids, I will be a heat training transitioner. I'm actually 8mos post and my two textures are a nightmare to deal with. Ain't nobody got time to spend two hours detangling I've had my hair flat ironed for two weeks now,worn in a bun the whole time. Will be pre pooing overnight tonight and dcing tomorrow.Then I will blow dry only and maintain for another two weeks, basically alternating between blow drying and flat ironing(keeping hair stretched) until I can find a good lace wig. Hopefully this will make it a smooth transition

I've been wearing my hair mostly flat ironed during my transition, but I didn't think to consider myself a heat training transitioner. I get a flat iron once a month, wear it out for a while, then ponytail or (wet) bun until my next appointment. I haven't sustained any heat damage or permanent straightening though. I know this because my natural hair is still KINKYYYY. After my chop I'll probably get it flat ironed once every couple of months or so or for special occasions. But maybe not depending on how my twist/Bantu knot outs look.

 

[mssoconfused]

I'm at the point where I'm starting to hate my hair!!! I'm just coming up to 7 months... Idk if I've retained any length since I've last posted. Nothing works any more!!! When I flatiron, my hair gets dry and poofy in a matter of minutes! (I had a lady come up to me and tell me I needed my hair done after spending 2 hours that same day doing it) I just roller set my hair Monday and it ended up a tangled poofy mess by mid day Tuesday. It seems like my hair has just given up on cooperating. The only thing that seems to be working are these boring buns!

I'm really considering trying a upart wig... Or a partial sew in... Idk yet... Anything but this craziness on the top of my head right now!!!

Any suggestions?

Don't give up yet! The first few months are hardest as you figure out what your hair likes and needs. Increased deep conditioning should help you retain moisture better. Be sure you are using a good protein conditioner at least once per month. When my hair is REALLY acting a monkey I'll mix honey + olive oil in my deep moisture repair conditioner and sit under my heat cap for about an hour. Rinse with ACV and use a leave in. I actually helped my mom transition her hair with the use of wigs and her hair has done a complete 180. Wigs aren't a bad idea as you experiment with your hair.FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!

 

[daviine]

10 days left. May 12th isn't the best day for a BC bc it's Mother's Day but I am committed to the date.

A wash and go isn't looking like a good option right now so maybe I'll do a twist-out or a light blow dry.. I really don't know.

 

[Pinkerton]

End of the road for me ladies. I'm just past one year post and have cut off the remaining relaxer-the last 1/2 inch that was left. Still dealing with SSKs, but I believe part of the problem is I don't keep my hair stretched enough. My hair is at an awkward length where it is not quite long enough to do nice twists or braids. I plan to get my hair trimmed then thrown up in braids until the end of the year, or close to it. Pictures will have to come later once my right hand heals up. Thanks for all the advice.

 

[sweet_silvia88]

End of the road for me ladies. I'm just past one year post and have cut off the remaining relaxer-the last 1/2 inch that was left. Still dealing with SSKs, but I believe part of the problem is I don't keep my hair stretched enough. My hair is at an awkward length where it is not quite long enough to do nice twists or braids. I plan to get my hair trimmed then thrown up in braids until the end of the year, or close to it. Pictures will have to come later once my right hand heals up. Thanks for all the advice.

Congrats!!!

 

[Carman]

Don't give up yet! The first few months are hardest as you figure out what your hair likes and needs. Increased deep conditioning should help you retain moisture better. Be sure you are using a good protein conditioner at least once per month. When my hair is REALLY acting a monkey I'll mix honey + olive oil in my deep moisture repair conditioner and sit under my heat cap for about an hour. Rinse with ACV and use a leave in. I actually helped my mom transition her hair with the use of wigs and her hair has done a complete 180. Wigs aren't a bad idea as you experiment with your hair.FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!

I wash and deep condition with honey an oils every week... And protein every 2 weeks. Idk what my hair is going through right now... I think it has an attitude. Lol!

I have to try and get it straight again to take my senior pics and for graduation. But after that I'm just going to boring bun until I find the perfect upart wig to rock this summer.

 

[LdyKamz]

Does anyone wash in cornrows here? I'm starting to think the only way to keep my hair on my hair on wash days is to wash/deep condition in cornrows. When I was in a weave I was able to do this and my hair was always so soft and fluffy when I took it out. Do you think it is too much manipulation to braid nightly to keep my new growth stretched.

Right now I have upped my DC's to 2x a week (one of them being a protein DC) and I co wash once a week. It's a Mon, Wed, Fri kind of thing. Does this sound like too much including the braiding?

 

[havilland]

I feel the frustration around here. Months 4-10-ish are the worst IMO.

I flat iron when I get sick of my hair and tie it down overnight. Takes about 2-3 days to get it to act "right". Then I just ponytail it for days until I feel like washing it again. I just took a transition hiatus. Flat ironed two weeks ago and rocked a pony until today. I couldn't be bothered with wash day. I was just sick of frizz and two textures and deep conditioning etc. however I didn't want to quit. Sorry but transitioning is the pits sometimes. I wanted to relax BADLY a few weeks ago.

Now I'm ok. So I deep conditioned overnight with some oils and prepooed this morning for a few hours

Here is a pic of my pony I rocked for about two weeks.

 

[Dayjoy]

I feel the frustration around here. Months 4-10-ish are the worst IMO.

I flat iron when I get sick of my hair and tie it down overnight. Takes about 2-3 days to get it to act "right". Then I just ponytail it for days until I feel like washing it again. I just took a transition hiatus. Flat ironed two weeks ago and rocked a pony until today. I couldn't be bothered with wash day. I was just sick of frizz and two textures and deep conditioning etc. however I didn't want to quit. Sorry but transitioning is the pits sometimes. I wanted to relax BADLY a few weeks ago.

Now I'm ok. So I deep conditioned overnight with some oils and prepooed this morning for a few hours

Here is a pic of my pony I rocked for about two weeks.

I agree with this SO MUCH. I much prefer to put my flat ironed hair away in a pony for a while than to wash it and rip it out impatiently. If my hair isn't reacting badly, this form of low manipulation is A-OK in my book. I don't feel like transitioning should have to mean that I take every opportunity to show myself that I can deal with the two textures. The point for me is to grow it without cutting it until it gets to a length that I am comfortable with. By any means necessary. Ok, not really, I just wanted to type that.