Today's Woman & Cooking for her Man....Yay or Nay

This was the most interesting video I've watched in a while.. man does she have a youtube account? She's so opinionated, but I like it!
ps) Yes I'm pretty oldfashioned, I wouldn't mind cooking for my guy before marriage, but I wouldn't want to feel obligated. More like my treat to him!
 
The girl in the video is beautiful and her hair is gorgeous!

But to the point... It seems her main argument is that you should cook if and when you feel like it, not as a means to win a man over "through his stomach."

I don't think I ever cooked for dh before we got married. He cooked for me sometimes, and would pick me up from work (always on time, too), and lots of other nice things.

Since I had the spare key to his apt once or twice I went over while he was at work and cleaned his kitchen top to bottom for him.

Give and take. :yep:
 
I'm 22 and live with my boyfriend. We eat homemade meals together almost every day. And yes, I do most of the cooking. My BF is even so bold to tell me (I mean request) certain meals when I come home some weekends from college.

But I don't blaim him. I am a dayum good home cook that makes food better than Chinese, Mexican or Indian restaurants. That's why we can't order or go out to eat anymore. Too much disappointment for too much money.

Besides, if I am doing the cooking, he always does the prep work like washing the dishes, cutting the veggies, etc. He often makes the side dishes too. Basically we are together in the kitchen the whole time food is being made. It's not like I'm slaving over a hot stove while he's playing video games. That would piss me off.
 
First and foremost I cook for myself and my crumbsnatchers... lol

But no need to be rude, so I cook for my SO. But we both love to cook and teach other things about cooking in the kitchen.

But I love cooking in general. I would cook for your ladies too... lol
 
I cooked for a live in BF. He cooked for me as well. I also did his laundry (I don't allow anyone to do my laundry). We aren't together. This situation is the same with most females I know who played house with the BF. No one became a wife.

However, my friends who didn't/don't cook or clean for the BFs....heck, they couldn't cook if they tried....are married/engaged. Their men do the cooking, if anything.

Hmmmppppffff!

I'll be darned if I EVER again play wife to someone who is not my husband.

ETA:
Re: sex, that's not something I give away freely. It takes time before I even trust the person enough to get to that point. You can probably get more cooked meals out of me than sex. This is because I have sex when I want to and not because some man wants me to.
 
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Incognitus said:
Ok, I thought I'd share this comical (yet somewhat understandable) video and get a conversation going about today's girl cooking for her man, and the role cooking plays in the modern relationship. Are some of us still following more traditional roles? Is the newer generation of ladies more averse to cooking? Why are men claiming that less and less young women can cook? Just throwing out a few questions to get the ball rolling...

The video brought to mind an old saying: Don't give a boyfriend husband privileges. :grin: So where do YOU draw the line?

Here's the vid: http://news1.ghananation.com/headli...present-the-average-woman-of-today-video.html
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Was married for almost 30 years to a man who was very good to me. He died.

Went out a few times with a dude who has little money, but I didn't realize till I saw his car --met him online. He wasn't a BF or anything of that nature, but I thought he was cool....until I cooked for him!

I invited him to my apartment for dinner (I cooked) cause I knew his finances were limited and he couldn't keep paying for expensive meals. And dinner was sort of a, "Thank You" to him for his attempts to try and pay to take me out.

LAST time I feel sorry for a broke dude!

Weeeelllll.....cooking for him was a BIG mistake!

My apt is laid out extravagantly. Looks like I got bank lol I think dude concluded from my car and apt that I got bank.

During dinner at my apt he started talking about his friends talking about how they let women with money pay for things, but he'd never allow for that to happen, cause then a woman would try and control him. Said he's dated women with lots of money before and they tried to control him; whatever......:perplexed

How come now he texts to invite me places, then when time comes to make definite plans for the evening........crickets chirping......

I think this dude is waiting for me to call him and confirm and then he thinks I'll pay; but mostly, I think he's hoping I'm desperate and will invite him to dinner at my apt again. Well, that is NOT going to happen!

Dude said [AFTER dinner] that he didn't eat fried foods. Sure gobbled down my Fried Catfish and asked if he could have the leftovers. Who does that? Who, if he's not your man or close friend or something, asks for your leftovers from a meal you cooked? It's not like getting a Doggie Bag at a restaurant.

Afterwards, I learned from a dear friend to NEVER cook for a man who isn't my husband cause he doesn't deserve the same privileges of my husband:nono:

The second lesson I learned is to not date broke brothas:nono: If a brotha is almost 50 and doesn't have anything, something's up. He's either a poor planner, ex-con, drug/alcohol rehad or still getting down with drugs, or just plain foolish with his money. None of these variables are appealing in a man!

Third lesson? Don't date dudes with no class:nono: This dude has no class, indicated by him asking for my leftovers and sitting at my apt until 4 a.m. (I think he though I would take the lid off the cookie jar; smh....). If dudes don't have class, they don't understand that an invite to dinner is nothing more; it's not an act of desperation to see them --low-class [and arrogant] men put too much stock in themselves. Also, class dictates that you DO NOT ask the host/ess that you barely know for the leftovers from the meal.

Asked for my leftovers --yes he did! And I was dumb enough to give em to him --yes I was! Again, smh.....

:nono:
 
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^^ OMGoodness! Sorry for everything you had to go through!

I have cooked for men in the past.

I remember cooking for a boyfriend when I was younger and couldn't cook that well. He put the food in his mouth and spit it right out. That *sshole! Never cooked for him again and we broke up shortly after.

My previous Ex cooked really well and taught me a lot of dishes.

Now, I rarely cook for my current SO because I don't feel like he's treating me as well as he should. He doesn't deserve any special privileges and if he's hungry at my place...I tell him to order. ha!
I think I'm actually going to get rid of him soon. He's not really adding much value to my life.

In the future...I don't see much of an issue with cooking for myself and offering some to my man...AS long as he makes me happy and doesn't take it for granted.
 
Yay. A way to a man's heart is through his stomach...

Naw but forreal, I like to cook sometimes and it is healthier than eating out. Can't be eating out every single time you all meet up...
 
I had no problem cooking for us while we dated. I enjoy cooking and he gave me money for groceries. In addition, he had no problem taking me out for meals every single day so I decided to cook more since it was taking a toll on my figure.

We got married this past Sunday.
 
I love to cook...it relaxes me so I'll cook regardless. DH and I lived together for 2 years before marriage and of course I cooked, of course I cleaned and did laundry. I lived in the place so of course I did those things. When am I going to do? Starve and live in a dirty place? Then again I never ascribe to those relationship "rules" I just live my life how I see fit and don't really listen to outside chatter. Everybody's relationship is different so you really should just do what works for you.
 
^^^I agree. You just gotta do you. I also think it gets to a point that some of these 'rules' dont necessarily agree with us older folk and our lifestyle. Some basics do, of course. And dudes gotta deserve and earn it... but some of these things, I think...maybe when I was 20... but I'm too old for this now. lol.

If you know deep down dude is trife, get rid of him. Don't worry about whether to cook for him. He's useless all around anyway!
 
It depends on if you ultimately want to be the one taking on the primary responsibility of cooking in your household or future household. However, this thread just gave me an idea :think:
 
DarkJoy said:
^^^I agree. You just gotta do you. I also think it gets to a point that some of these 'rules' dont necessarily agree with us older folk and our lifestyle. Some basics do, of course. And dudes gotta deserve and earn it... but some of these things, I think...maybe when I was 20... but I'm too old for this now. lol.

If you know deep down dude is trife, get rid of him. Don't worry about whether to cook for him. He's useless all around anyway!
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I'm with you
 
Sosoothing said:
I had no problem cooking for us while we dated. I enjoy cooking and he gave me money for groceries. In addition, he had no problem taking me out for meals every single day so I decided to cook more since it was taking a toll on my figure.

We got married this past Sunday.
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Now THAT'S what I'm talking bout! This is a beautiful relationship!
 
Sosoothing said:
I had no problem cooking for us while we dated. I enjoy cooking and he gave me money for groceries. In addition, he had no problem taking me out for meals every single day so I decided to cook more since it was taking a toll on my figure.

We got married this past Sunday.
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And CONGRATS!!! on the marriage!
 
I try to cook for SO every Sunday I see him unless we do our movie night. I love to cook! Especially baking. I used to cook for my last two SO's. Sometimes he tells me not to and to let us just order out. He thinks I do too much for him sometimes.
 
My SO cooks for me a lot. He really, really enjoys cooking and seeing me enjoy what he's created so why should I take the pleasure away from him? :look:
 
If by cooking you mean scrambling some eggs and popping some bsicuts then yeah. If by cleaning you mean making his bed that we both slept in then i guess so. Lol doesnt bother me none. He has cooked for me more than i and that was during our "courting" stage.
 
In my mind I am Julia Childs. In reality I probably have the cooking skills of a 12 year old. Luckily for me, I have always been with men that cooked amazingly and loved to cook for me. They never made me feel badly about it. Usually the women in my life have let me know how subpar I am for not being a chef. It doesn't matter anyway because I am not a lesbian and am not interested in turning a woman on with my cooking skills. LMBO!

With all of that said, I do want to learn. And I am sure when I see him cook more often, I will pick things up. I can read, so I should be able to follow a recipe. But his Haitian arse cooks with the recipe in his head. :(
 
kandake said:
I see what you're getting at. It's just weird to me that people focus so much on cooking a meal but will sex a dude without much thought or consideration.
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This right here!! I really get tired of the you shouldn't do this and you shouldn't do that...but we've doing others things that contradict the "morals" behind the thought.

My question is that many of you all have previously stated that a guy pays your bills, fixes on your car or does car maintenance, and etc. Is that not the same thing in the sense he's doing husband duties? I wonder are these same people declining these "husband duties" since they say cooking is so bad.

As for me. We take turns often...but I'm the better cook so I probably cook 75% of the time and he cooks the other 25% but I guess it's a lil different because we also live together.
 
PrissiSippi said:
This right here!! I really get tired of the you shouldn't do this and you shouldn't do that...but we've doing others things that contradict the "morals" behind the thought.

My question is that many of you all have previously stated that a guy pays your bills, fixes on your car or does car maintenance, and etc. Is that not the same thing in the sense he's doing husband duties? I wonder are these same people declining these "husband duties" since they say cooking is so bad.
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Very well-stated!!!
 
I believe in traditional roles within a marriage, so I try to do that while dating as well. I'll cook for my boyfriend on special occasions so that he knows 1) i can cook 2) I'm willing to cook if he earns it.

If we were ever to marry, I wouldn't mind be the only one cooking or cleaning, because he'd do yard work and house repairs. I feel like it's equal levels of work.
 
"Why Men Love b!tches"

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She then goes on to list some "gourmet" meal recipes you can try for your new man: popcorn, hotdogs, kool-aid :lachen::lachen:
 
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