To BC or not to BC... what my fiance said this weekend

FAMUDva

FAMUDva

Well-Known Member
Hey ladies! I will start by saying that I am transitioning to natural. It really started as a personal stretch challenge to simply not apply chemicals in '08 (last relaxer 12/12/07). Then I figured why not just transition.

Anyway, yesterday I CW to get rid of a twist out, set my hair on flexirods. Now, of course I have CRAZY new growth... so my fiance sees my hair after taking the rollers out and shakes his head.

I thought he shook his head cuz he prefers my hair straight... But naw, he starts telling me this long story about how when Caesar fought the brits he burned his ships.... he gave a long drawn out metaphor for WHY I should do a BC. :wallbash: I was a lil annoyed because I'm like, my hair journey is my own knee-gro!

So, question to you naturals and transitioners: why did you BC or why did you decide not to?

The way I looked at that knee-gro when he told me that long ass story!
update foki with more pics...
62208002gd4.jpg

 
I had a really long transition and I was trying to go for longer but it got to the point where I really hated the two textures and I hated dealing with it and I hated looking at it. I didn't go to a stylist or anything so I was just doing my hair on my own and it was such a pain in the @ss. So that's when I bc'd.

If you don't feel like bc'ing right now don't. But when it starts to get so tedious and saps your strength, that will be the right time (IMO). :)

LOL@ ur fiance....he was just trying to help...
 
nurseN98 said:
I had a really long transition and I was trying to go for longer but it got to the point where I really hated the two textures and I hated dealing with it and I hated looking at it. I didn't go to a stylist or anything so I was just doing my hair on my own and it was such a pain in the @ss. So that's when I bc'd.

If you don't feel like bc'ing right now don't. But when it starts to get so tedious and saps your strength, that will be the right time (IMO). :)

LOL@ ur fiance....he was just trying to help...
Click to expand...

So how long did you transition for? I'm thinking of cutting my hair to a bob sometime this fall though. Not quite a BC, but it would be shorter.
 
I ain't mad at your man. At least he's supportive!:grin:

I wanted to keep my length, so I called myself transitioning indefinitely, but one day, I got out of the shower after having washed and just couldn't stand the thought of having to detangle (carefully), deep condition, rinse, blowdry, flat iron, then wrap all that mess.:nono: I had been doing fine with it, but at that moment, it was just too much.

So I chopped, and I haven't look back since!

ETA: I transitioned for 1 week shy of a year.
 
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I'm doing what I feel comfortable doing. My hubby hates this transitioning stuff. He won't even talk to me about my hair anymore. But he knows I'm doing what's best for me right now. And I'm happy with my hair, even though these transtioning styles are getting so played!! I'm itching to bc now. But I'll give myself until I reach the one year mark in Aug. If you're not ready to bc, wait until you are!
 
i chose to bc because i fell in love with my natural hair and was curious about how id look with short hair...i also didnt think id be able to handle watching the breakage as i got further into my transition so after close to 6 months i bc

in the end its just up to u...and it nice u have his support
 
Shoot, at least he was in support. I hear a lot of ladies on here speak about men who are not really into the BC. I'm single so...

Anywhoo, Um. I did not BC yet. I'm itching to, but not yet. I want to transition for as long as possible because frankly I don't like afros on me. The reason I KNOW this is because I went natural a couple years ago and due to some unforntunate "trims" after about a year of transitioning I had to rock a fro twice and didnt like it on me. My curls didn't drop as yet. So I know for sure that I felt comfortable with my hair and its length at about 18 months (from the time of the last perm). At that point it started to grow down instead of out because of the length. So that is why I have not BC.

Hope that helped
 
FAMUDva said:
:lachen:That's what I'm saying girl! Now he walks around talkin bout I need to "burn my ships"... :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

:lachen:Hilarious!!!

At least he's supportive...I got attacked for cutting my hair off and I transitioned for 13 months...so it's not like I was bald:rolleyes:. I chopped when I did because I wanted to wear my hair straight for NYE and the natural hair was sooo dense and the relaxed part looked like it's malnutritioned cousin. So out came the scissors.
 
I'm 17 months into my transition...
my SO actually DOES NOT want me to BC...
but even if he did... I'd be like ngh, please :nono:
I'm going to do me regardless...
so... I'll BC when I'm good 'n ready...
right now I'm thinking January 2009...
but I could change my mind...
I could care less about other people's opinion
of whether I should or shouldn't BC...
and that's that :yep: :yep: :yep:
 
I've gone natural twice. I had a relapse in 2005. anywhoo. The first time I bc'd after 3-4 months of new growth. Because it was easier for me to maintain. I was taking ajob in a strange city wasnt sure what extra money i'd have or what access to stylist. so having a TWA was the easiest, cheapest, simplest thing.

The next time i just transitioned through braids and weaves. eventually though after about a year I had to cut off the permed hair. It was looking raggedy and beginning to break.

By good friend did the same thing after about a year she has to cut hers too, be cause it was breaking.

I am not sure if thats the norm or just our hair or maintenance??

At least after a year of growing it out you have some length.

But to tell you the truth its hard to have a bad hair day when you have no hair, LOL. So just BC and get used to your natural hair.

Its really up to you
 
lauren450 said:
I ain't mad at your man. At least he's supportive!:grin:

I wanted to keep my length, so I called myself transitioning indefinitely, but one day, I got out of the shower after having washed and just couldn't stand the thought of having to detangle (carefully), deep condition, rinse, blowdry, flat iron, then wrap all that mess.:nono: I had been doing fine with it, but at that moment, it was just too much.

So I chopped, and I haven't look back since!

ETA: I transitioned for 1 week shy of a year.
Click to expand...

You have always been a huge hair inspiration for me Lauren.:grin: And you're right, at least he's supportive... I have the same hang ups as you did before your BC. I want to hang on to length and since the nuptials will be in October, I certainly don't plan to "burn my ships" :rolleyes: before the ceremony.

I'm trying to make it to at least 18 months post even though I initially said I would chop until Dec. 09 (24 months).

cclark1 said:
I'm doing what I feel comfortable doing. My hubby hates this transitioning stuff. He won't even talk to me about my hair anymore. But he knows I'm doing what's best for me right now. And I'm happy with my hair, even though these transtioning styles are getting so played!! I'm itching to bc now. But I'll give myself until I reach the one year mark in Aug. If you're not ready to bc, wait until you are!
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's what I plan to do. He can pick at me all he wants. I'm okay with it right now. I'm not afraid of short hair though, just don't like the "in between" stages of hair cuts.

kieva626 said:
i chose to bc because i fell in love with my natural hair and was curious about how id look with short hair...i also didnt think id be able to handle watching the breakage as i got further into my transition so after close to 6 months i bc

in the end its just up to u...and it nice u have his support
Click to expand...

Thank goodness I haven't experienced any breakage to date. I plan to cut the ends eventually, but would like to be at a substantial length before doing so. You're hair looks great!!!!

SimpleBrooklyn said:
Shoot, at least he was in support. I hear a lot of ladies on here speak about men who are not really into the BC. I'm single so...

Anywhoo, Um. I did not BC yet. I'm itching to, but not yet. I want to transition for as long as possible because frankly I don't like afros on me. The reason I KNOW this is because I went natural a couple years ago and due to some unforntunate "trims" after about a year of transitioning I had to rock a fro twice and didnt like it on me. My curls didn't drop as yet. So I know for sure that I felt comfortable with my hair and its length at about 18 months (from the time of the last perm). At that point it started to grow down instead of out because of the length. So that is why I have not BC.

Hope that helped
Click to expand...

The bolded is true for me too. I had an afro back in 86-87 with a jherri curl :( No matter how much my hair grew back then I always had that big afro curl and not the long hanging curl everyone else had.:nono: I HATED it! Plust, I'd like to have enough hair to at least have the flexibility to wear in a pony tail. Thanks for your insight :) It is helpful hearing others POV.
 
SouthernTease said:
I'm 17 months into my transition...
my SO actually DOES NOT want me to BC...
but even if he did... I'd be like ngh, please :nono:
I'm going to do me regardless...
so... I'll BC when I'm good 'n ready...
right now I'm thinking January 2009...
but I could change my mind...
I could care less about other people's opinion
of whether I should or shouldn't BC...
and that's that :yep: :yep: :yep:
Click to expand...

That's a great out look girl! Your hair is awesome too! How did you transition so long with no trims? I need your secret.
 
I BC after 17 months of transitioning, however, I would have transitioned longer (2 years) if I was not having breakage issues. My hair is shoulder length, which allows me so styling versatility, but to be completely honest--it is way too short for MY taste. I am learning to live the length because God willing, my hair will NEVER be this short again. Overall, I am happy that I BC because my hair appears to be thriving sans relaxed ends. I say do what makes you feel comfortable. You are the one that has to walk around with your hair, not him.
 
I transitioned for about six months.

I BCed because I didn't want to deal with the temptation of relaxing. Everyone kept telling me how long my hair was getting and how much longer it would look if I would just relax. So umm...I decided to cut all of it off as payback for all of their nagging...:lachen::lachen:
 
Good luck in whatever you decide. But I think it's wonderful that you have a supportive fiance in this regard. Give your fiance a hug and be happy that you have the peace to do whatever you want (BC or keep transitioning).
 
fabiennd said:
I transitioned for about six months.

I BCed because I didn't want to deal with the temptation of relaxing. Everyone kept telling me how long my hair was getting and how much longer it would look if I would just relax. So umm...I decided to cut all of it off as payback for all of their nagging...:lachen::lachen:
Click to expand...

see.. you BURNED yo ships! :lachen:

I ain't mad at ya girl... I guess it is a blessing to have him be so supportive. He told me "you'll be pretty either way". :) He's sweet like that, so fortunately I don't have the nagging other than that comment and now the burn yo ship every 2 hours. :look:
 
LaPetiteCoquette said:
Good luck in whatever you decide. But I think it's wonderful that you have a supportive fiance in this regard. Give your fiance a hug and be happy that you have the peace to do whatever you want (BC or keep transitioning).
Click to expand...

I will do that :). But I can't promise I won't slap him upside the head the next time he mentions them damn ships. :look::lachen:
 
The bolded is true for me too. I had an afro back in 86-87 with a jherri curl :( No matter how much my hair grew back then I always had that big afro curl and not the long hanging curl everyone else had.:nono: I HATED it! Plust, I'd like to have enough hair to at least have the flexibility to wear in a pony tail. Thanks for your insight :) It is helpful hearing others POV.[/quote]

i had a jherri curl that didnt hang either. do what is best for you. i am just now over a year transitioning, i havent bced yet. i dont plan to until 24 mos, maybe. it depends on my health of my hair.
 
I didn't have the patience for the 2 textures not to mention I couldn't wait to see the new growth on its own
 
I bc'd because I wanted to go completly natural without the hassel of dealing with 2 different and in my case 3 -4 different textures. It was drastic and I can't say I didn't feel wierd with my hair so short but I know in the long run it will work out for the best.
 
Hubby CONSTANTLY asked me to stop transitioning. I had planned on trimming every once in a while once my new growth made it past my ears, unstretched. I was not using any heat and wore a lot of buns and braidouts, which of course "does not show straight hair going down your back". His words...and since I had never transitioned that long before, I fell for the creamy oky doke. So, I did not BC and recently texlaxed. Don't fall for it girl. Do what you set out to do! :lachen:You'll be Brutus on him...well, don't take it that far. Congrats on your engagement!
 
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