To all the Hair Divas on the Board

[candycane]

I have been apart of the hair clubs for a couple of years now and no matter how gentle I tend
to be with my hair, it does not seem to be making progress. I am so envious of some of the
ladies that I still "see" who have made so much progress, but my hair doesn't seem to be thriving at all.
I cannot seem to maintain moisture. It is so dry right now. I hardly every flat iron or wear it down.
When ever I do wear it down, it snaps on everything. it is so thin on the ends and so thick at the roots.
(I haven't had a relaxer in almost 7 weeks.) I have fantasies of cutting it off to the new growth and
starting all over from scratch.

I do protein treatment, moisturizing treatments, pre-shampoo oil treatments. use the wild growth oil,
use the carrot oil, done conditioner only washes. Used the S-Curl, used the world of curl,
used the vaseline, keep my hair in a bun with a fake pony tail attachment.

But my hair don't look as beautiful as the pictures of the ladies on the board. I don't know if any of you
have any opinions, thoughts, or words of advice...please...at this current time I am incredibly open to all
comments.

Candycane

 

[pebbles]

Hi Candycane,

I have a couple of questions for you. Maybe they can help us discover what you may be missing or not doing right.

What sort of relaxer do you use?
How long do you wait between touch-ups?
Is the relaxer being applied to the length of your hair, or just the new growth?
How often do you wash your hair?
What shampoos do you use?
Do you do a deep conditioning treatment with each wash?
What products do you use for deep conditioning?

Let me know, then we can move forward from there. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[candycane]

Pebbles, thanks for your response.

What sort of relaxer do you use?
<font color="red">Motions Oil Relaxer in Mild </font>

How long do you wait between touch-ups?
<font color="red"> between 9-11 weeks. </font>

Is the relaxer being applied to the length of your hair, or just the new growth?
<font color="red"> Just to the new growth</font>

How often do you wash your hair?
<font color="red"> 2 times per week, but during a busy week only one time. </font>

What shampoos do you use?
<font color="red">Cream of nature, Keracare, Aphogee evening primrose, Motions, Aubrey's Organics J.A.Y </font>

Do you do a deep conditioning treatment with each wash?
<font color="red"> Yes. Prewash treatments with Olive oil and rosemary oil or an inexpensive conditioner mixed with olive oil rosemary oil. </font>

What products do you use for deep conditioning?

<font color="red"> Motions moisturizing conditoner, GPB, ORS Mayonaise, Keracare</font>

<font color="red"> Leave in--Motions nourish leave in, IC Ultra Moisturizing liquid leave in, Wild growth mixed with regular olive oil. </font>

Hope that will help in providing me with some theories..

Candycane

 

[Armyqt]

Candycane, it seems like you're doing everything right girl!! Let me ask you this. What condition was your hair in when you initially started? When we initially start to take care of our hair properly, it may take some time to really start realizng the difference depending on what the condition of the hair was when you started. I know for me personally, it's an everyday struggle. There have been many times I got discouraged, because it seemed like I was making no progress. But this simply isn't true. It tooks years of abuse to get the hair damaged, so it will take time to nourish it back to health. On the other hand, maybe there has been improvement, but we can be our own worst critics sometimes. In any event, I would continue with my regime and tweak it here and there. You seem to be very informed. Don't get discouraged and please keep us posted. Good luck. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[pebbles]

O.k Candycane. From what I can see, your regime and products look good. How long is your hair? Are you new to the Motions Relaxer, or have you been using it for long?

Without having you run out to get new products, here is what I would do:

For the next 4 weeks, use the Cream of Nature Shampoo for dry/damaged hair for every wash. Use just one shampoo for now for a consistent result.

You can continue to do the pre-wash with oil if you like, but for the next 4 weeks, stick with the ORS Hair Mayonnaise for deep conditioning after every wash, again for consistency.

You need a good moisturizer. Invest in Dudley's PCA Moisture Retainer, and get some S-Curl activator moisturizer spray. If your hair is long enough, this is a good product to use if you can wear a ponytail or do a bun.

Since you don't use heat appliances much, that's great. Try to eliminate them for the next 4 weeks. Do rollersets, you can use your dome dryer, or just air dry your hair.

If you aren't doing it already, start taking a multi-vitamin daily.

Years ago, I had horrible luck with relaxers and twice had to cut all of my hair off. The types of relaxers I was using coupled with my lack of knowledge of proper hair care were my worst enemies. It takes time, but it can be done.

I'll be waiting for your response.

 

[candycane]

Armygt,

Thank you for your words. I understand what you are saying. I really do. But as I mentioned, I have been a part of these clubs for years. I have remained a consistent user of the advise and tips I get from the ladies. And as mentioned, I have seen progress of ladies like Adrienne over the years. But mine does not seem to be benefiting. I have passed along tips and advise to friends and family and their hair is thriving, that tends to frustrate me even more. /images/graemlins/mad.gif I just don't understand what I am doing that is so wrong. I take supplements--vitamins, MSM, flaxseed, vitamin C, but nothing is producing the results of the ladies on the boards. I am so jealous!! /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Candycane

 

[pebbles]

Girl, I know that my hair will never look like Adrienne's hair, but her and others motivate me to get my hair in the best shape it can be. Aim to have your hair look it's best.

If you start holding your hair up to Adrienne, Tracy, Armyqt, Allandra or any of the other super heads we have here, you'll really frustrate yourself. Take it one step at a time, and you'll be amazed at the results you get. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[candycane]

Again, Pebbles, thank you for your response.

I forgot to mention 2 other products I use which are the breakthru shampoo and conditioner.

No I am not new to Motions relaxers. I am, however, fairly new to the Motions Oil relaxer. I have been using it for about the last 3 touch ups. I always use mild relaxers because I found that the super was too strong and the regular always burns. I find the mild tends to loosen the new growth with no burning or irritation.

I have been wondering about the Dudley's product. Is it a liquid or a cream. Is it a leave in or rinse out product?

I already have the S-Curl. I use it whenever my hair is in a bun. Right now my hair touches the end of neck. (It really is hard to describe my hair's length without a picture)

I take a multi vitamin everyday along with MSM, Vitamin C, Flaxseed.

BTW--I am a product junkie like most of the ladies on the board. So the only product I would probably have to go out and buy would be the PCA. You recommended using the CON shampoo, but I have found that breakthru to be soooooooooo softening. It leaves my hair with so much slip (when it's wet).

I think I answered each of your questions. Let me know if you have others. I really appreciate the responses.

 

[candycane]

I know you are right. I am notorious for comparing my hair to the other ladies. I know that what works for one may not work for others. And I know that some people's hair may grow a little faster than mine.... I just get so sad sometimes. I may decide to take a break from the hair clubs because I realize I am stressing out a bit too much. Maybe I will just poke my head in on occasion cause I have become too obsessive and have begun to beat myself up.

Candycane

 

[pebbles]

If you like the breakthru shampoo, than use that instead of the CON. Just use 1 shampoo consistently for the next 4 weeks.

Would you consider changing relaxer brands?

The Dudley's PCA is a cream moisturizer. If you use the S-curl, your hair should be getting all the moisture it needs. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

I would add Biotin and vitamin B-5 to your vitamin regimen.

I'm also a PJ. /images/graemlins/grin.gif I just went through a 12 step program. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

I think your hair is probably in better shape than you give it credit for. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Let's try this for 4 weeks and see what happens. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Please feel free to PM me anytime. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[pebbles]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I may decide to take a break from the hair clubs because I realize I am stressing out a bit too much. Maybe I will just poke my head in on occasion cause I have become too obsessive and have begun to beat myself up.


[/ QUOTE ] NO, no! Don't leave! /images/graemlins/naughty.gif I want you to stay. I KNOW and understand how you feel when you see some of these pictures, believe me. You just have to know that even if your hair doesn't look like some of these photos, it's beautiful in it's own way. I have very fine, thin hair and would kill to have a thick head of hair. But I know that won't happen, so I've learned to love what I have and work with it. I take vitamins and give it the best of care, and that's all I can do. Come on girl, hang in there with me! Please.... /images/graemlins/hammer.gif

 

[CICI24]

Are you upset about growth or the appearance of your hair have you considered putting your hair up in braids or twists for a month or so at a time so that you can help it along and so you dont manipulate it too much. Do you do your relaxers and trims yourself? Do you have any pictures
of your hair?

CICI

 

[daviine]

Candycane----I totally understand how you feel. I've been a memberf of hair boards since 1999 and you'd think I would have hair that I can sit on now.

I guess I'll have to take Pebbles advice becasue if I keep comparing myself to people like Adrienne and Charli, I will probably always get frustrated. That's why on my picture trail album my inpsiration photos are old pictures of my hair. So that I can see where I've been and so that I canknow that I can get there again (it's just taking so long.... /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif)

Anyways.....girl keep your head up.......daviine

 

[Armyqt]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
candycane said:
I know you are right. I am notorious for comparing my hair to the other ladies. I know that what works for one may not work for others. And I know that some people's hair may grow a little faster than mine.... I just get so sad sometimes. I may decide to take a break from the hair clubs because I realize I am stressing out a bit too much. Maybe I will just poke my head in on occasion cause I have become too obsessive and have begun to beat myself up.

Candycane

[/ QUOTE ]

Noooo Candycane...please don't leave /images/graemlins/driver.gif /images/graemlins/nono.gif. You are definitely on the right track. I 've been discouraged before and kind of backed away. I really missed the support and friendship of the board though. You'll get through this phase. I'm sure your hair looks a lot better than you think. Keep your head up girl!! PM me if you need to talk. /images/graemlins/grin.gif ((HUGS))

 

[pebbles]

Daviine,

Girl, I swear if I had your hair I would be happy and not ask God for more! Look at the length you've always had, and the length you seem to be able to easily achieve? I've NEVER had long hair like yours; EVER!! You have much better hair than you think. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[daviine]

Thanks for the compliment....all I have to do now is stop trying all these different products..

And, Pebbles (Miss January), I think your hair is great too!!!

 

[pebbles]

Thanks Sweetie! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Armyqt]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
And, Pebbles (Miss January), I think your hair is great too!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

DITTO! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[pebbles]

Thanks Armyqt! I never thought I'd ever be getting compliments on my hair. Who would've thought... /images/graemlins/cool.gif

 

[Tara]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
candycane said:
I already have the S-Curl. I use it whenever my hair is in a bun. Right now my hair touches the end of neck. (It really is hard to describe my hair's length without a picture)



[/ QUOTE ]

Hi, I just noticed you said that you put S-curl on only when you wear your hair in a bun. I'm guessing that this means that your hair is worn "out" the rest of the time. I was wondering how many days per week do you wear your hair in a bun, compared to how many days you wear your hair out, and what do you use for moisture when you do not have your hair in a bun?

This is significant and may help to figure out a remedy. I know for example Adrienne wears her hair in a bun for like 7 days out of the week, and this will be for a month straight.

So this may be an option for you, that way your ends are protected and you can moisturize daily.

 

[elliot]

Candycane,

You may be stressing too much about your hair. Stress will make your hair very weak and susceptible to breaking. You may need to 1) stop stressing about it and let God work his miracles and 2) invest in a good stress vitamin or an essential oil that helps you to relax. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

HTH
Elliot

 

[Integrity]

first of all, welcome!

relaxers are not for everybody. Maybe your hair is telling you so? You may want to braid or weave for a while so the hair stays out of your way.

you seem to be doing all the right things. relaxers may not be for you. if that turns out to be true, i am sure other styles like natural or texturised will be excellent. there are such ladies on the board and the support will still be there. God bless you

 

[Leshia]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
pebbles said:
Girl, I know that my hair will never look like Adrienne's hair,

[/ QUOTE ]

"Lord, she didn't mean that!" *glaring at you*

 

[pebbles]

LOL!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif Sorry Leshia. Girl, I'm just keeping it real! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Titansgirl]

Hi Candycane, like the other ladies said, "DON'T GIVE UP" Stick in there!! I truly believe that we can accomplish anything we put our hearts to w/ the help of God. It will take a little extra work on our part, but we can do it!!

How long have you been using the same relaxer? I thought I remember reading somewhere that Motions Relaxer was very drying for some people? It might be the relaxer? /images/graemlins/confused.gif I'm sure the ladies here will help you find a remedy to your problem. /images/graemlins/grin.gif Just stick in there!!

 

[Guest]

I agree with Pebbles Candycane, don't strive to be like others hair, get yours looking as healthy as possible, if you look at Adreinne pics, she always had long good hair from a child. Everybody genes are different too. Now imagine triple that amount that's what we had and no matter what I did wrong to my hair I always had it, too much of it. But now, it's work and I don't understand why.

It sounds like you need a simple approach. (Check your PM, I have some info for you).

You can get to your max potentinal, it is frustruating but you can do it.

Keep looking up.

 

[beana3]

Candycane, please stay encouraged! Its a very long road to healthy hair, but you're ALREADY on it, so think of yourself as ahead of the game.
I've been on the boards for a little under a year now, and you wouldn't be able to tell just by "looking" at my hair. I had some serious issues with my hair, which had fallen out due to a horrible relaxer, shed like crazy for 8 months uncontrollably, and just wouldn't do anything right! I've become familiar with what my hair likes, how to treat it, and what conditions it thrives under.

Now, my hair hardly sheds like it used to (thank God!!), Its growing in spots where it was almost bald, and I've controlled my tangling situation.

I almost left the boards because i felt like i wasn't seeing any progress. I started with wrecked hair so i realize that my hair journey is going to take longer than mnay of the other women. I've started a journal which keeps me focused and i'm thinking of implementing vits back into my regime. In addition, I've taken to braid outs again because I remember getting lots of growth from them. Plus, they minimze styling stress and that keeps my mind OFF my hair. and i think they're considered a protective style as well.

I hope this has helped /images/graemlins/smile.gif, PM me if you want to talk further

 

[candycane]

I tried the biotin for a few months and discovered that it caused chaos with my periods. My periods were consistently late and I always felt like I was pregnant.

I think it is in better shape then when I discovered the boards. Yet, in my mind's eyes it should be much longer and thicker than what it is. I mean if I have been a member for the last 3 years than I thought I would probably have reached that wonderful bra strap length by now. But then again I also have to remember that my hair stylist tends to believe that trims mean cutting inches. Damn that woman!!!! /images/graemlins/mad.gif

Candycane

 

[candycane]

GIGI,

I have recently been considering braids. But last year I had cornrows for about 3 weeks. The itching drove me crazy and the tangles and hair loss after the braids, was a complete nightmare for me. So as tempting as it is for me, I am extremely fearful of going back to braids right now.

Candycane

 

[candycane]

Tara,

My primary hair style is the bun. I love the conveniece of it and the fact that my hair stays super moist. I probably wear my actual hair down once every 3 weeks for about 4-5 days. Then it's back to the bun. I don't know what to use for moisture while my hair is down. I just use the leave in conditioner and a touch of wild growth oil. I recently purchased some of the carrot oil and applied just a dab to my hair, primarily focusing on the ends. But since my ends already appear so thin, applying the carrot oil made them look even thinner.

Candycane