Thinking about relaxing my natural 4b hair

J

JudithO

Well-Known Member
NappyNelle faithVA yaya24 Nonie

Some of you guys know.. ive been tired of my natural hair... really bored... and im now thinking about relaxing...

I finally figured out my natural hair, thank God... but im just so bored... hair is almost bsl, but im in twists 24/7... thats d only thing i retain with.. i dont feel very confident in my hair even 4 years later. I want to get a weave, but my hair is so kinky, i cant leave any out.... im yet to see any full weaves that look natural.

: my hair is very fragile and breaks so easily cos of how kinky it is.. so it has been hard to retain.. my ends are pretty bad.

I sustained some heat damage a yr ago, and there sections of my hair with 4 inches straight.. i just want to be able to comb n wrap my hair...

You guys have any thots?? If you were natural, and are now relaxed.. would you recommend it?

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
Hey judy4all ! :wave:

Congrats on being natural 4 years btw!

Before you make any drastic decisions, I have some questions for you....

-Why did you decide to go natural 4 years ago? And has that reason changed over the years?

-When you say you don't feel "confident" with your hair, do you mean you don't feel confident in styling it various ways? Wearing it out? Rocking the "natural" hair? What? What is it you don't feel confident about? (You can be honest :look:)

-How often do you get trims? :look:

-(BRIEFLY) What is your typical hair regimen?

-What made you contemplate getting a weave? Tired of styling the natural hair? Winter dryness? What was it? Just curious....

Once you answer those questions maybe I'll be able to offer more well-rounded advice. :yep:
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Hey judy4all ! :wave:

Congrats on being natural 4 years btw!

Before you make any drastic decisions, I have some questions for you....

-Why did you decide to go natural 4 years ago? And has that reason changed over the years?

-When you say you don't feel "confident" with your hair, do you mean you don't feel confident in styling it various ways? Wearing it out? Rocking the "natural" hair? What? What is it you don't feel confident about? (You can be honest :look:)

-How often do you get trims? :look:

-(BRIEFLY) What is your typical hair regimen?

-What made you contemplate getting a weave? Tired of styling the natural hair? Winter dryness? What was it? Just curious....

Once you answer those questions maybe I'll be able to offer more well-rounded advice. :yep:
Click to expand...

I went natural because i was in grad school, hair was damaged and i couldnt afford to care for it. I didnt have my stylist anymore so my hair went downhill. This hasnt changed except now i think i can care for it myself with all the help here and i can afford to go find another stylist. Then the wave of being natural hit me.. no chemicals.. bla... stayed natural mostly becos i wasnt sure relaxers were safe for the health.. still not sure.. not enough research out there.. outside of the obvious burns

My hair is very kinky.. the kind of hair that will b referred to as nappy... its very difficult to style.. i look okay in twists pulled in a bun.. but i work in corporate america.. i just dont feel.. sophisticated.. tired of looking at the mirror and seeing the same ol twists.. i just want to feel edgy.. i was pple to notice my hair when i walk into a room

I dont trim really.. i used to trim a lot... but it didnt really make a difference so i left it.. plan to flat iron and trim next week tho..

Regimen.. wash and condition biweekly in twists.. redo twists monthly.. mosturize 2 -3x a week n seal.


Weave.. i just needed a new look... and a break from styling hair.. dryness etc

Thanks much




Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
If you want a weave try kinky yaki, or a tight curly texture. I never leave out hair and no one knows my custom wigs aren't my hair. IMO it defeats the purpose of a weave to apply heat or chemicals only to the part of your hair that's right in the front-center of your head to try and blend it with weave, while you protect the rest of your hair.
 
judy4all said:
I went natural because i was in grad school, hair was damaged and i couldnt afford to care for it. I didnt have my stylist anymore so my hair went downhill. This hasnt changed except now i think i can care for it myself with all the help here and i can afford to go find another stylist. Then the wave of being natural hit me.. no chemicals.. bla... stayed natural mostly becos i wasnt sure relaxers were safe for the health.. still not sure.. not enough research out there.. outside of the obvious burns

My hair is very kinky.. the kind of hair that will b referred to as nappy... its very difficult to style.. i look okay in twists pulled in a bun.. but i work in corporate america.. i just dont feel.. sophisticated.. tired of looking at the mirror and seeing the same ol twists.. i just want to feel edgy.. i was pple to notice my hair when i walk into a room

I dont trim really.. i used to trim a lot... but it didnt really make a difference so i left it.. plan to flat iron and trim next week tho..

Regimen.. wash and condition biweekly in twists.. redo twists monthly.. mosturize 2 -3x a week n seal.


Weave.. i just needed a new look... and a break from styling hair.. dryness etc

Thanks much




Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
Click to expand...


Thanks for the feedback! :yep:


You know, it sounds more like you want a change in STYLE and look....not necessarily a change back to chemicals. Correct me if I'm wrong though. :look:

It's funny because I just got my hair professionally twisted and it was definitely what I needed. I was getting SOO tired of my afros, my puffs, and the occassional wash-n-go (which I can't really do anymore due to the colder weather outside :ohwell:). I FELT better, more revived. :grin: I guess we "do-it-ourselves" ladies kind of forget just how NICE it is to have someone ELSE do your hair for a change and to come out of the salon with a new "look". :yep:


If I were you, I'd probably consider getting a trim (sometimes split/dead ends can make hair more difficult to style/detangle in general. If straight hair needs a trim every once in a while, then curly and coily textures DEFINITELY need a trim as well. :yep:

After a nice little trim, I think maybe you should look into perhaps getting a sew-in weave OR perhaps some braid extensions to wear in your hair for a couple of months. Make sure you go to someone who will NOT do it too tightly, and who is used to dealing with kinky hair types. That is a MUST.

I'm hearing that you probably want to look more "professional" and put together in your place of employment. Well, I always tell people to go for a new "look" FIRST instead of reaching for the relaxer, because once you go back to crack....it will take a LONG time to go back to being natural again. :ohwell:

Have you tried straightening your hair? Now that it's winter time, some natural ladies find that they can straighten a little more in the winter w/out the threat of humidity ruining the style.

Try that and see how it goes! :grin:

Look online for some cute natural styles you can try! Or...if you are really fed up with twists, maybe look online or do a search, or ask some natural friends of yours of some salons that specialize in doing natural hair. Maybe if you know a friend/family member that does natural hair that is also a plus. :yep:

Let me know if this was even close to what you were really feeling.
 
Hi Judy, I've watched your videos on YouTube and understand how you feel because we have similar hair textures. Have you tried the faux bun? There are a few videos on YT and you get to gel your hair down so it looks sleek. You could also try doing larger twists on stretched hair and pin them up.

Sometimes, washing 4b/c type hair 2x a week makes it difficult to style because it always has this frizzy look.

All that said, you mainly went natural because you couldn't afford to keep your relaxed hair so the urge to relax it again with the knowledge and affordability you have now might just be too great. I went natural because I was so fed up of getting my scalp burnt, spending too long in the salon and the cost amongst other things and I don't wish for a second to go back to that. I would love to get my hair braided with extensions occasionally to give me a break, but the fear of thinning edges won't let me.

At the end of the day, do you... what suits you and will make you happy. If you relax and you don't like it you can always go back to natural, at least by then, there won't be any looking back.

All the best, and thanks for sharing your journey on YouTube.
Jen
 
Crystalicequeen123 thanks for responding... yes.. im just really sick of twists.. ive tried to do other styles but my hair breaks too much. I plan to flat iron by the end of this month.. and trim .. so that should help a lil....

I would like to NOT relax my hair.. but at least then i can wear it out, bun, wear different weaves to PS when i get bored.. im going to see my old stylist and she is a rollersetting expert.. ill pay her for rollersetting lessons. I can do hair (braid,weave,relax) so it shouldnt be so hard.

I just hate feeling like i have to dress extra nice, and wear makeup cos my hair looks rough.. thanks for understanding guys.. appreciate it.. maybe ill straighten and then weave it up for a change.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
JensOG thanks so much.. appreciate the encouragement

cheerrette naa.. will rather relax than texlax.. can't handle multiple textures..

Tiye i agree.. i wont get a weave and relax the part left out.. defeats d purpose.. id rather relax d whole head

Guys i wish i looked cute bald..lol... this wouldnt have been a problem.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
Have you considered lightly blowing it out every two weeks using the tension method? i remember mwedzi was considering relaxing at one point due to some frustration but i believe she said moderate/mild heat made things easier.

I would recommend tex-laxing if you do decide to put a chemical in it. because your strands are fine you may end up with very thin looking bone-laxed hair. you will also be able to hold braid outs/twist outs if you choose to with texlaxed hair more easily than with bone laxed.

OT: your wedding pics in you video were lovely :love:
 
LovelyNaps26 Thanks @ wedding pictures.. :) i tried using heat one time... but my hair couldnt take it.. maybe i need to give it to a professional stylist cos i cant blowdry my hair to save my life.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
Just looked at a few of your videos and see that you have gone through a lot with your hair. I just ask that you do a lot of research and make the best decision for you. I personally am texlaxed 4b and was natural for two years. I was horrible with styling and making my natural hair look presentable too. I wish you luck.
 
I'd like to add that i have some parts of my hair straight due to heat damage... ill have to cut half of my hair to get rid of all of it.. i figured i might as well just relax so everything can b straight...

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
This is what makes us all so different. Im here wishing my hair was long enough to wear in a bun (Id wear in a bun or some updo all the time):grin:

I dont think "unslicked" natural hair looks "rough" its how I wear my hair most times, in fact I refrain from slicking my hair down because its takes too much to do so. Ive become totally comfrotable with my 4b hair in twistout, puffs etc but then again I dont work in a corporate office and around 50% of the women in my organization wear their hair natural ... either loose or locs :yep:

I dont know what to suggest to you apart from that you should do what you feel will be the best for you personally and professionally.
 
I second those who said that you should try braids or a weave before you decide to relax. I recently decided that I was bored with my natural hair -- wearing the same few styles and having bad hair days. So I've been wearing wigs and now I can switch up my style as often as I like. It has taken my focus off styling my own hair, so I can just focus on its health.
 
If your hair is causing you too much stress, I say relax it if it'll make things easier for you. I don't think it's that serious unless you have scalp issues. Do whatever will make you happy with your hair.
 
Thanks for all the responses ladies... For some odd reason, my scalp really itches under wigs, so I ruled them out. Cherrypie I agree it's not that serious.. Im just afraid of relaxing and cutting it all off in a year or 2.

SimJam I wish I worked in in a place like yours... Truth is, I like the straight hair look... Not gonna front..

Before relaxing used to seem like such an abomination to me, but it's really just hair.. It will grow back.. I just don't want to deal with my natural hair short again.. It was quite painful... lol...

Thanks for all the feedback guys.. I didn't really expect you guys to tell me what to do, but having people to share your thots and frustrations with is always a blessing.
 
judy4all, what city do you live in. There is a great natural stylist in my area and she can whip your hair into shape. I go to her when I need a elegant style and I have friends who go to her weekly and she does the nicest, professional styles.
 
I don't think there's anything wrong with getting a relaxer. But since you've been natural for so long, maybe try out a new style as suggested by other members, like a weave. If you still want to relax, I say go ahead.

You can have healthy, long relaxed hair. Particularly if you don't bonelax. I think that's where most people go wrong with relaxers. I've seen some beautiful texlaxed 4a/4b ladies on this board..
 
My issue with relaxers is that I don't like the chemicals, so that wouldn't be an option. If you don't mind the chemicals, relaxing may make things easier for you. Other options would be finding a good natural stylist, straightening, or getting some braids or twists with extensions. Dreadlocks or sister locks may be an option too if you like the way they look.

Sent from my HTC Evo
 
I relaxed from being natural and I love it. it's my preference. I was completely honest with myself and what I wanted. It wasn't anything against natural hair, I just prefer mine relaxed for various reasons. I even wrote out a pro and con list to make it plain.

From your replies, it seems as if you'd prefer not to relax, but you've ruled out everything else - and that's ok. You have to take out everyone's feelings and preferences and analyze what's best for you and do that.

I think if you want to wear your hair straight and your hair can't take heat, then relaxing is the better option. You can still have healthy hair with a relaxer.
 
sunnysmyler I live in Pittsburgh, PA... It's pretty dead out here.

FoxxyLocs I do not have any problems with harmless chemicals... I have problems with chemicals that are potentially carcinogenic (cancer causing)... I looked at the ingredients in ORS lye, I didnt really see anything that threw me off (other than sodium hydroxide which relaxes the hair and can cause burns)

Does anyone have a jar of ORS lye to post the ingredients?

How do people deal with the different textures on texlaxed hair? Can you rollerset it and wrap it as a regular relaxer? Do you just leave the relaxer for a shorter period of time?
 
judy4all said:
@sunnysmyler I live in Pittsburgh, PA... It's pretty dead out here.

@FoxxyLocs I do not have any problems with harmless chemicals... I have problems with chemicals that are potentially carcinogenic (cancer causing)... I looked at the ingredients in ORS lye, I didnt really see anything that threw me off (other than sodium hydroxide which relaxes the hair and can cause burns)

Does anyone have a jar of ORS lye to post the ingredients?

How do people deal with the different textures on texlaxed hair? Can you rollerset it and wrap it as a regular relaxer? Do you just leave the relaxer for a shorter period of time?
Click to expand...

Mine was still textured. I could still do a wash and go to some extent. I didn't even try to rollerset because my hair was still big. Check out this Fotki album to see my hair in the months after my virgin relaxer. My stylist left the relaxer on as long as he could and had to rinse. My hair was like...lol, that's cute. LOL But because I use heat weekly, it's calmed down quite a bit.
 
I feel like I've been complaining about my hair for too long.. I'm just tired of discouraging and depressing others over hair.... not even that serious... I need to figure this out.... smdh
 
Good luck with relaxing! Though I'm not a relaxed head anymore,there are lots of amazingly beautiful relaxed ladies that can give you some advice if you need it :yep:

Sent from my SPH-D700 using SPH-D700
 
i want a change in style. i've been natural for 11 years and i haven't had it straightened since i was transitioning. i want to straighten it, but i'm afraid to do it myself. shoot i might damage it then i will be pissed! LOL
 
greight I hope all goes well too... Worst case, I'll start all over. Thankfully hair will continue growing... No self relaxing for me.. lol... I made an appointment with a stylist.

nadaa16 -- Sure thing... I'll even video the entire process.. Stylist agreed to let me. hehe

anartist4u2001 If you've never done it yourself, I would recommend that you do a lot of research before you attempt anything. Find someone with your hair type who successfully straightened and their tips may help. I can't advise you whether or not to go to a pro because a pro gave me 6 inches of heat damage that started my hair woes. Good luck.
 
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