Thinking about relaxing my natural 4b hair

Congrats on your decision but I hope that you don't decide to weave up right after a relaxer which to me can cause more issues.
 
Hey Judy,

I don't know how I missed this notification :perplexed, so I'm sorry for not responding sooner.

I used to be a die-hard natural advocate, but if your hair is causing you this much frustration, I can only suggest that you relax or texturize. Your hair should be a fun reflection of you; not a burden to your lifestyle or hurting your self esteem. :nono:

I would second (or third) the responses for switching up styles, but instead of a weave, I would try phony ponys. (They are much less of a commitment in style and money lol)

I hope that helps!!! :bighug:
 
judy4all I hope relaxing turns out to be a fun change for you, in the end enjoying your hair should be the first priority.

I would suggest you research relaxer prep and the relaxer process as much as you can before the appt. Audrey's (sistaslick) articles helped me a lot before my virgin relaxer a few months ago.

I would also suggest that you talk to your stylist about the desired outcome. Since all stylists are not created equal its important you see where his/her head is at regarding over processing, especially if avoiding overly thin hair is important to you. Don't be afraid to walk out of the salon if you get a bad feeling or aren't clear on the stylist's expertise.
 
I love my relaxed hair, but I do see some beautiful natural heads out there. Enjoy it, it's your hair! Did you think about texlaxing?
 
Just wanted to say, OP try texlaxing and see if you like it. If you still want to relax, then go ahead.

I'd even suggest doing a BKT but it's so expensive.


Sent from my fancy iPhone using LHCF
 
@NappyNelle Thanks for finally coming in here... :) Now I'm waiting for @faithVA .. lol

@Raspberry I have been researching.. I went in and interviewed the stylist.. and made her walk me thru the relaxer steps with the consultation.. She sounded pretty knowledgeable - She basically said: base scalp, relax (middle, ends and roots last), rinse out relaxer, mid protein, neutralize a couple times, DC with heat, rinse. She uses the entire butterblend system.. I found her on Mizani's website as a mizani specialist. She will trim my hair wet and rollerset after. No blow dryer or flat iron.... Fingers crossed.... I'm basing my scalp everyday this week tho.. just to be safe...

@Supergirl @BostonMaria I have thot about texlaxing... However I am skeptical about dealing with multiple textures on my head, + I want to solely air dry and rollerset, so I'm thinking relaxing may be better if I plan to wear the hair straight. Any thots? I assume texlaxing is relaxing for a shorter period of time.

I think I have a relaxed regimen in my head.. the only thing I cant figure out is how to moisturize. With my natural hair, I usually just sprayed water and sealed with oil. Can I do that as a relaxed head, or just use leave in conditioner? If you guys have one leave in that works well as a moisturizer please suggest.

The only thing i'm unsure of.. She uses Mizani butter blends or Affirm Fiberguard sensitive scalp as her relaxers... One being lye and the other no lye... she recommended the Affirm one for my virgin relaxer since it has to stay longer than a retouch... so I dont burn. She is still going to base 10 minutes before she puts in the relaxer. I know from reading the boards that lye is generally better for the hair... I'm BSB natural so I would hate to lose all that hair to my first relaxer application. Do you guys suggest I insist on her using the Mizani Lye? Or the Affirm Fiberguard No-Lye will do?
 
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judy4all said:
@Supergirl @BostonMaria I have thot about texlaxing... However I am skeptical about dealing with multiple textures on my head, + I want to solely air dry and rollerset, so I'm thinking relaxing may be better if I plan to wear the hair straight. Any thots? I assume texlaxing is relaxing for a shorter period of time.
Click to expand...

Good point (the bolded) about the two textures. I was thinking about maybe a happy medium where you could be relaxed but have the option of going curly if you felt like it.

I haven't relaxed my hair in 5 years so I am not the best person to ask about texlaxing. I think that you have all the tools you need on this forum so if you take the plunge and relax you will definitely find great ways of taking care of your hair.
 
judy4all said:
@NappyNelle Thanks for finally coming in here... :) Now I'm waiting for @faithVA .. lol

@Raspberry I have been researching.. I went in and interviewed the stylist.. and made her walk me thru the relaxer steps with the consultation.. She sounded pretty knowledgeable - She basically said: base scalp, relax (middle, ends and roots last), rinse out relaxer, mid protein, neutralize a couple times, DC with heat, rinse. She uses the entire butterblend system.. I found her on Mizani's website as a mizani specialist. She will trim my hair wet and rollerset after. No blow dryer or flat iron.... Fingers crossed.... I'm basing my scalp everyday this week tho.. just to be safe...

@Supergirl @BostonMaria I have thot about texlaxing... However I am skeptical about dealing with multiple textures on my head, + I want to solely air dry and rollerset, so I'm thinking relaxing may be better if I plan to wear the hair straight. Any thots? I assume texlaxing is relaxing for a shorter period of time.

I think I have a relaxed regimen in my head.. the only thing I cant figure out is how to moisturize. With my natural hair, I usually just sprayed water and sealed with oil. Can I do that as a relaxed head, or just use leave in conditioner? If you guys have one leave in that works well as a moisturizer please suggest.

The only thing i'm unsure of.. She uses Mizani butter blends or Affirm Fiberguard sensitive scalp as her relaxers... One being lye and the other no lye... she recommended the Affirm one for my virgin relaxer since it has to stay longer than a retouch... so I dont burn. She is still going to base 10 minutes before she puts in the relaxer. I know from reading the boards that lye is generally better for the hair... I'm BSB natural so I would hate to lose all that hair to my first relaxer application. Do you guys suggest I insist on her using the Mizani Lye? Or the Affirm Fiberguard No-Lye will do?
Click to expand...

definitely go with the lye relaxer, it will be less drying to the hair :)
 
HappilyLiberal said:
OP... here is a link to a slick bun tutorial done on natural hair. I think this style would be great for a conservative corporate environment...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtUs9EZ1D9Y&list=FLQBMa_e3tuWe-pZhdImC1Rw&index=67&feature=plpp_video
Click to expand...

@HappilyLiberal Thanks for the link.... Have you seen my hair tho?? My shrinkage would laugh at me trying to do that style. I'm BSB, but my hair looks like 3 inches unstretched. I'll have to stretch it majorly, or blowdry to pull that off.

Here is an album with my hair unstretched. This is from July 2011.

http://public.fotki.com/judy4all/july-2011/#media
 
NappyNelle said:
@judy4all I second lye! It was much gentler on my hair than any no-lye formula.

Paging @prospurr4 for possible textlaxing tips.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the page, @NappyNelle! Congrats @judy4all on making a decision that works for you.

I agree with the ladies who suggest you go with a lye relaxer. I'm a DIYer and relaxed my hair straight for years. But for the last 6 years, I've texlaxed, and I LOVE IT! Why, you may ask? (LOL) Well, because:

1. I still have plenty of texture, and therefore, thickness.
2. When my new growth starts coming in, it blends much better with my already-processed hair.
3. I don't spend hours detangling, styling, etc.
4. When I'm in the mood for a naturalish-looking style, all I do is airdry.
5. When I'm in the mood for a straightish-looking style, all I do is rollerset and crosswrap (see siggy, where I used smaller rollers to just keep the style curly). I haven't used direct heat since 2005!
6. If you start out texlaxed and later decide that you prefer your hair straighter, then your hair can be easily "corrected" by leaving the relaxer on longer at your next touchup.

I wish you much success with your decision, and I look forward to seeing the pics/video.
 
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Goodluck judy4all :o) your questions and her answers were great. i'm sure all will be well. have faith in the due diligence you've done but also don't be afraid to get up and walk out if something feels off like someone else mentioned.

i'm really looking forward to seeing your straight hair and hearing about your experiences as you nail your relaxed regi.
 
Congrats on your decision. It's tough. I'm in the same situation. I'm also in Pittsburgh (for school) so it's hard to find a stylist.
 
judy4all said:
@HappilyLiberal Thanks for the link.... Have you seen my hair tho?? My shrinkage would laugh at me trying to do that style. I'm BSB, but my hair looks like 3 inches unstretched. I'll have to stretch it majorly, or blowdry to pull that off.

Here is an album with my hair unstretched. This is from July 2011.

http://public.fotki.com/judy4all/july-2011/#media
Click to expand...

I feel you on every single thing you've written in this thread. In fact, I shook my head in sympathy when I saw that picture of your shrunken hair vs. its actual length. :nono: It reminded me of my own hair. :ohwell: Congrats to you for making a decision. I hope that you like it. I've been natural for several years and all I can say is that I don't know if I'll escape 2012 with my natural hair intact. :look:
 
@naijamerican do you have coarse hair? And ever tried to stretch your hair w/o products and then applied product AFTER it was dry and stretched?

My shrinkage is no joke either:
Shrinkage2010-vi.jpg


But if I airdry my hair in braids w/o products, it can go from this:
rabouttorinsebeforeflatironing-vi.jpg


to this:
IMG00294201003292341-vi.jpg


Here's a close up of a few shrunken strands:
IMG_6076-vi.jpg


And here's a close up of slightly stretched strands:
4BFrontingasCNapp-vi.jpg


So far the pics above show bare hair (no product). Now the stretched strands can moisturized with something non-wet (like coconut oil) and be raked back with a comb and smoothed back with fingers so that one of those large friendly elastics can be slid back to hold the hair down like this:
etchedsectionofmoisturizedhair-vi.jpg


No need for gel or scarf, but if the little fuzz seen bothers you, a scarf would lay those little furs down and you'd be just as slick as the girl in the vid.

It might be harder for coarse hair to stretch but I do believe that while it may take a while to stretch coarse hair, once stretched, it holds that shape longer than fine hair. I wish I had a head of coarse to demonstrate with. :ohwell:
 
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solide Cool that you are in the 'burgh.... It really depends on how you like to wear your hair.. if you prefer natural styles... then hang in there sister... lol... I can cornrow and twist.. PM me if you need help :)

naijamerican I just got a stage where I just needed something different with the styles.. I've been in twists for the last 3.5 yrs.. so I'm tired already. I'm really happy that I nailed down my natural regimen tho.. gives me confidence that if my relaxed hair doesn't work out, I can regrow without hassle. My decision to relax is purely aesthetic... I say if you prefer natural styles... stick with it and nail your regimen. Otherwise, consider other options..

Nonie I would give you my head to play with if my scalp doesn't hurt each time anything touches it... this hair gives me a headache.. lol... Your hair is lovely.. Your shrunken hair looks like mine, but I dont have any curls (like your shrunken strands) no matter the product and technique (except my nape)... Thanks for hopping in here and chiming in ... Appreciated!!!
 
Good luck Judy. I'll love to see pictures.

I am currently enjoying my natural hair, but this thread has me wondering if or when I will start wanting to relax my hair again. I had no problems with my relaxed hair, it it grew nice and healthy with my doing much to it. I loved cutting it in various styles though so I don't know how long it would have been i I left it alone. I got tired of salon and stylists. I have moved around the world quite a bit and constantly finding and trying new stylists got exhausting.

The discussion on hair texture and one's ability to wear it out, stretch it, and shrinkage has me confused. My strands are on the coarser side and I don't get as much shrinkage. The coarser my strands the less my shrinkage. My front, middle, and back strands are on the coarser side of medium and the shrinkage is 40-50%, while the sides are a more medium-size texture and the shrinkage there is 60-70%. I have always attributed the weight of the heavier strands causes less shrinkage. Also, I wear my hair out almost every day (I only have 6.5 inches of hair) and I am able to retain average growth. I have always assumed the thickness of my strands made this possible. Now, I am just confused.

* sorry OP, I didn't mean to jack your thread. There is just so much conflicting information, I keep trying to sort it out.
 
judy4all said:
@HappilyLiberal Thanks for the link.... Have you seen my hair tho?? My shrinkage would laugh at me trying to do that style. I'm BSB, but my hair looks like 3 inches unstretched. I'll have to stretch it majorly, or blowdry to pull that off.

Here is an album with my hair unstretched. This is from July 2011.

http://public.fotki.com/judy4all/july-2011/#media
Click to expand...

wow... you have shrinkage like mdwezi! y'all have some thick beautiful hair though!
 
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