Thinking about relaxing!

[Southernbella.]

Its not like you cant change your mind..

Get a relaxer and if you dont like it , grow it out again..

You gotta do what you feel is right for you

I agree!

I love these threads, lol, it's funny how when someone that's natural thinks/wants to relax you get all the "DON'T DO IT, YOUR LIFE IS GONNA END" post, but when someone wants to go natural, you get a bunch of Congrats, and way to goes, .

I agree! It's not that big a deal, IMO. It's just hair. If you're pressing, you still have straight hair, so why not make it easy and just get it relaxed? I would never have the patience to get my hair pressed all the time, then have to worry about sweating it out or reversion.

At any rate, good luck and we're with you no matter what you decide.

Oh, and I vote against weave too. It's too hot for all that!

 

[secretdiamond]

I love these threads, lol, it's funny how when someone that's natural thinks/wants to relax you get all the "DON'T DO IT, YOUR LIFE IS GONNA END" post, but when someone wants to go natural, you get a bunch of Congrats, and way to goes, .
I say Congrats either way, whatever makes you happy. That's the beauty of hair you do w/it as you please and it will continue to grow.
One of the reasons I'm not natural again is because I can see myself pressing on a regular basis, and what fun would I have w/my natural hair if I'm always pressing anyway......

ETA: Just remembered an experience I had at the first salon I worked at after graduating from Gordon Phillips yrs ago, My boss at the time was going on vacation and had decided to give two other girls and myself her clients while she was away on vac., one of the ladies I had was about 80 yrs old or so and had been pressing all her life, well I didn't know that because when I shampooed and conditioned her hair, her hair remained straight except for her roots, well long and behold she had been natural all her life and pressed for a looooooooooooong time, so long that her hair became permanently straight from the yrs of pressing, and it was sooo thin too.

Very good point made here. I guess this is because it takes longer to transition than to just slap on a relaxer for 20 min.

 

[Country gal]

This thread is too funny. For the ladies advising to just put a perm and if you want natural again, just grow it out, have you ever gone through a transitioning? It is really not that simple to just grow a perm out. It is a labor of love dealing with two different hair textures.

It is your decision but since you posed the question, I would not get a perm. Queen Latifah and Aailiyah pressed their natural hair. Those two inspired me to become natural. Have you tried flat ironing your hair with the Maxi glide or a Chi flat iron? I think you need to experiment with more styles. Do you every wear up dos since you work out frequently?

 

[metro_qt]

I know what you mean! And since I have BSL hair, I hate wearing BSL weave because it's hard enough to convince people that it's my REAL hair when I DONT wear weave!! who cares though, right!

LOL LOL LOL I have to keep a picture on my cell phone to convince people my hair is bra strap underneath.... I know, jokes. But yes, As of friday i think i'm relaxing.

Wish you all the best in your decision

 

[Candy_C]

LOL LOL LOL I have to keep a picture on my cell phone to convince people my hair is bra strap underneath.... I know, jokes. But yes, As of friday i think i'm relaxing.

Wish you all the best in your decision

lmao i do this too. its my background foto!

 

[Cinnabuns]

I think that whatever decision you decide on Naptrl your hair will be fine. It's your decision to decide what you would like to do.

BTW, you have some gorgeous hair

 

[CoCoKisses]

Girl you took the words right out of my mouth!!!!(the maxi glide suggestion). I can't remember who's photo album i was looking at, but they had BSL hair i think and used the maxi glide to straighten her hair and it looked SOOOO GOOD!!!!!! She sold me. I have just decided to transition to natural and i am definitely going to buy it. (with the way my new growth looks, probably soon lol!)

 

[CoCoKisses]

This thread is too funny. For the ladies advising to just put a perm and if you want natural again, just grow it out, have you ever gone through a transitioning? It is really not that simple to just grow a perm out. It is a labor of love dealing with two different hair textures.

It is your decision but since you posed the question, I would not get a perm. Queen Latifah and Aailiyah pressed their natural hair. Those two inspired me to become natural. Have you tried flat ironing your hair with the Maxi glide or a Chi flat iron? I think you need to experiment with more styles. Do you every wear up dos since you work out frequently?

Girl you took the words right out of my mouth!!!!(the maxi glide suggestion). I can't remember who's photo album i was looking at, but they had BSL hair i think and used the maxi glide to straighten her hair and it looked SOOOO GOOD!!!!!! She sold me. I have just decided to transition to natural and i am definitely going to buy it. (with the way my new growth looks, probably soon lol!)

 

[Southernbella.]

This thread is too funny. For the ladies advising to just put a perm and if you want natural again, just grow it out, have you ever gone through a transitioning? It is really not that simple to just grow a perm out. It is a labor of love dealing with two different hair textures.

It is your decision but since you posed the question, I would not get a perm. Queen Latifah and Aailiyah pressed their natural hair. Those two inspired me to become natural. Have you tried flat ironing your hair with the Maxi glide or a Chi flat iron? I think you need to experiment with more styles. Do you every wear up dos since you work out frequently?

Don't get me wrong, I know transitioning is hard. But the OP clearly stated that she gets her hair pressed every 2 weeks and she works out. That seems like a lot of time and maintenance for straight hair, and IMO, it WOULD be easier to just relax her hair.

I guess I don't see what the big deal is. The OP likes her hair straight. If her hair can take a relaxer, what's the big deal? It's not a life or death situation. Again, I'm basing my opinion on the fact that the OP likes to wear her hair straight most of the time. If she didn't, my recommendation would be different.

 

[hopeful]

Thanks for the support!! I'm still in micros right now thank goodness, so I don't have to make any split decisions. I would like to remaing natural. We'll see how it goes. My hair doesn't really revert when I get it pressed, but I just hate using that heat. That's my only issue! LHCF has made me paranoid.

Oooh girl you must be doing something right if your hair isn't reverting quickly from all that working out, you are a lucky lady. LOL I need to know your pressing secrets whenever I'm ready to straighten my natural hair.

Naptrl, when I joined LHCF in December 2004 you were one of my natural role models, I just love your hair! So thick, full, curly, presses like a dream. That said, I just want you to be happy. I think you just really need to sit down with pen and paper and look at the pros and cons of relaxing vs. natural. If your hair isn't reverting from working out and it is still hecka healthy from pressing every two weeks then that's wonderful. Do you think you can have thick, healthy hair as a relaxed head? Will you miss your curly puffs?

Honestly, do you have a strong preference for either natural or straight hair? If you honestly LOVE straight hair more than kinky/coily/curly hair AND you think you can maintain a thick healthy head of hair with relaxed hair then I say go for it. But if you really love your natural hair equally or a little more, I would stay natural, maybe give it 6 more months, say till the beginning of 2007. Cause once you relax that gorgeous bra-strap length hair it will be so stressful growing out that relaxer or bc'ng. I know you miss straight hair, but the same longing you have for straight hair, you will likely have for your natural hair once it is gone. So I just wish you the best, I know it's a hard decision. Just remember that pressing is so short-term and the relaxer is permanent, so do you really want permanently straight hair?

One more question, how often are you pressing and craving straight hair? Are you pressing 90% of the time, 50% percent? How often are you wearing your hair in it's natural state? Do you feel prettier with it natural or straight? Some people really do look better with one or the other. I know you'll make the best decision for you in the end.

 

[balisi]

Naptrl, I don't think you should cave in to the temptation of relaxing. Since you workout so often, are you concerned about the salty residue left in your hair from sweating? As a natural you can always just rinse or co-wash your hair to remove the sweat in between shampoos. I also wonder how you are maintaining your twists if they're not lasting more than a day. In my experience twists are a great workout style.

 

[hopeful]

Don't get me wrong, I know transitioning is hard. But the OP clearly stated that she gets her hair pressed every 2 weeks and she works out. That seems like a lot of time and maintenance for straight hair, and IMO, it WOULD be easier to just relax her hair.

I guess I don't see what the big deal is. The OP likes her hair straight. If her hair can take a relaxer, what's the big deal? It's not a life or death situation. Again, I'm basing my opinion on the fact that the OP likes to wear her hair straight most of the time. If she didn't, my recommendation would be different.

Hi Lauren I know you are not talking to me, but some of us naturals have relaxed after going natural and regret it sooo much. And the fact that she is at bra-strap makes the decision more serious (lol but not life or death) because it takes at least two years to get back to that length. And she did later point out that her hair does not revert very much from working out. And she has also said that she would like to stay natural. If she had a relaxer she would likely shampoo, condition etc. at least every two weeks too if not more often and she would still need to air dry, rollerset, or flat iron to achieve the look she wants and she may start experiencing shedding and then she would have to deal with new growth and touch ups and such. Relaxing is not hassle-free. I personally don't have a preference for relaxed or natural hair on other people. For me I prefer natural, for other people I think they should do what works best for them. I think we all just want her to be happy.

 

[MZMATTHEWS]

i am also feeling the same way, but i know that my hair can't take a relaxer and remain healthly. i love straight hair, but the only way i can achieve it is to flatiron. i agree with taking time to think about why you decided to go natural. when i cut the relaxer out of my hair 2 years my was thin, dry, and very broken. now my hair is the healthest that i can remember. little to no breakage, soft, and full of body. in the end it's your decision and i'm sure you will make the one that's right for you. GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[Southernbella.]

Hi Lauren I know you are not talking to me, but some of us naturals have relaxed after going natural and regret it sooo much. And the fact that she is at bra-strap makes the decision more serious (lol but not life or death) because it takes at least two years to get back to that length. And she did later point out that her hair does not revert very much from working out. And she has also said that she would like to stay natural. If she had a relaxer she would likely shampoo, condition etc. at least every two weeks too if not more often and she would still need to air dry, rollerset, or flat iron to achieve the look she wants and she may start experiencing shedding and then she would have to deal with new growth and touch ups and such. Relaxing is not hassle-free. I personally don't have a preference for relaxed or natural hair on other people. For me I prefer natural, for other people I think they should do what works best for them. I think we all just want her to be happy.

This was from one of her posts...

But, since I exercise 6 days/week, it is hard to deal with having to wash and redo my natural hair. I just think if I was relaxed, I could just wash it once a week and roller wrap it. No extra heat like pressing once per week. UGGGHHH!! I just dont know!

This is what I was basing my recomendation on. It WOULD be easier for her to do this since she wears her hair straight the majority of the time. Lots of the relaxed heads on this board have a regimen like this and it works out great. Going by what the OP said about what she desires out of her hair, it WOULD be easier to relax.

I realize now that it's basically a sin to tell a natural person it's ok to relax, so I'll just leave it alone.

OP, I gave my honest answer, but I think you already decided, and I'm glad you were able to reach a decision taht you're happy with.

 

[mscounselor]

I wouldn't say its a sin to tell a natural person to relax. Its more like recognizing, especially if you have transitioned or even stretched for a while, that the process isn't easy. I liken it to someone going to school for 4 years and then deciding they want to do something unrelated. "Hey if you dont like your degree get another one" Or if someone had waist length hair and had to cut it. "oh you can just grow it back". Just recognize what they went through to have it while giving advice.
OP, if you feel like you have to work too hard with pressing also consider the regimen you would have utilize to keep your hair salt free while relaxed.

 

[Tene]

In my opinion it takes a lot more work to keep up relaxed hair than natural.

 

[naptrl]

WOW! This thread got really interesting since I visited yesterday! Thanks soo much for all the advice ladies! You're right. It IS a big decision since I have brastrap length natural hair. It's not like I've only transitioned a couple of weeks and decided not to continue with it. I just bought a maxiglide, but I haven't used it yet since I'm in micros. My hair doesn't revert if I get my hairdresser to press it, but it's a lot of heat. All the women I've seen at her shop have beautiful near waist length natural hair, so I think she knows what she's doing, but I'm paranoid about the heat. I went natural because I dont like to use chemicals. I am a very "natural" person. I eat healthy, exercise, only get french manicures on my "own" nails, etc. That's just my personality. I don't mind getting highlights, but a full relaxer....i don't know. I have very curly hair and everyone talks about how pretty my hair is in its natural state. I actually wear twist-outs a lot, I don't JUST wear my hair straight, but I love the straight look. I don't think I will relax because my hair is thriving without the chemicals.
Balisi...My twistouts last if i retwist at night, but I feel like they get dry and poofy after a few days. I definitely can't go a whole week without washing and redoing it! I also think I had a little breakage when I did twist outs. What should I do diferenly?

 

[tetbelle]

Hi I am new to posting I have been lurking for the past couple of months. I just had to make a comment on this. I have been where you are natural and I get fustrated and I relax my hair I have done that several times. My hair is currently relaxed. Your hair is absolutely beautiful and it's great that you know how to style in naturally and get it pressed and wear it straight. I would say if you can, keep it natural. When you relax your hair after being natural it feels like you sucked the life out of your hair. When you wash it again for the first time you are going to be like what happened to my beautiful thick curly hair. You are going to have to find new products because the products you were using won't work the same etc... I totally understand the boredom and fustration. If you really are fed up I would definately texrelax it so that it's a easier to manage but it still feels close to your natural texture. Good luck on your decision.

Tetbelle

P.S. Hi Sista...

 

[naptrl]

Thanks for the response tetbelle. It's good to hear from someone who has been natural and then relaxed. I think that with what I've heard, I really don't want to relax.

 

[MzTami]

Thanks for the response tetbelle. It's good to hear from someone who has been natural and then relaxed. I think that with what I've heard, I really don't want to relax.

She's staying!

 

[naptrl]

She's staying!

You're too funny! I'm excited about trying some new natural styles and my maxiglide that's still in the box!! I think I'm just tired of these micros in my head! I gotta get rid of these things!

 

[Ntrlmystik]

A few years ago, i went natural and even though I did do natural hair styles every once in a while, I was mainly wearing my hair pressed. I later got a relaxer because I thought it would be so much easier on me and my hair to go to the Dominican Salon weekly to get a wash and set rather than all that blowdrying and flatironing. I loved it for the first month but come time for a touch up I kept putting it off. Six weeks turned to turned into six months and then I just chopped it off because I missed being able to go back. I did not go natural to make my hair healthier or longer because my hair grows quickly in either state. In a matter of fact, I retain more length when my hair is relaxed! Every now and then I still get the urge but I think about the feeling I got when I went to the hairdresser and cut it down to three inches and how that I would not hesitate to do it again once I longed for my kinks and curls. I prefer having the option to be straight or kinky/curly. I would suggest that if you enjoy the option of a wash n go, twists, twist outs, etc... then to not do it b/c once you are relaxed you don't have it anymore. However, if you only wear it straight and its an issue w/ you workout and yoru time then a relaxer may be the best thing for you. Whichever way you go I am pretty sure you will decide whats best.

Also, all the ladies w/ relaxers don't feel that every natural head looks down on relaxed hair. I wear my hair natural not because that I think its the best option...I wear it because its the best option for me. Its only hair and we are all entitled to our own opinon whether its has a few kinks in it or straight!

 

[naptrl]

Thanks for that perspective NtrlmystiK. As I have thought about it, I really think wanting a relaxer is a phase I'm going through. I don't really want one, its just that the days when I just want to wear my hair straight with no worries of reversion, I get the relaxer itch. I think I would miss my curls if they were gone. I'm enjoying my natural hair. I think I was frustrated too because I'm ready to get these dang micros out and all I can see is this afro of new growth sticking out! I'm taking them out tonight so updated pics soon!

 

[Plenty]

Thanks for that perspective NtrlmystiK. As I have thought about it, I really think wanting a relaxer is a phase I'm going through. I don't really want one, its just that the days when I just want to wear my hair straight with no worries of reversion, I get the relaxer itch. I think I would miss my curls if they were gone. I'm enjoying my natural hair. I think I was frustrated too because I'm ready to get these dang micros out and all I can see is this afro of new growth sticking out! I'm taking them out tonight so updated pics soon!

Your hair album stopped me from relaxing. I just got my first press n' curl today!

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Well I'm glad you realized it was just a phase b4 you made a decision you would have regreted, plus since you are really into using natural products and staying away from chemicals and stuff as much as you can, that would not have been a good decision. Off to view your album........

Thanks for that perspective NtrlmystiK. As I have thought about it, I really think wanting a relaxer is a phase I'm going through. I don't really want one, its just that the days when I just want to wear my hair straight with no worries of reversion, I get the relaxer itch. I think I would miss my curls if they were gone. I'm enjoying my natural hair. I think I was frustrated too because I'm ready to get these dang micros out and all I can see is this afro of new growth sticking out! I'm taking them out tonight so updated pics soon!