Things you need to know before going natural

[MizzBrown]

I didn't know you relaxed OP. It's been almost 3 years for me now and I'm still hanging in there. I had thought about texturizing about a year ago and decided not to go through with it. It's just the shrinkage that bothers me sometimes. I do get frustrated but I feel like I don't want to ever relax my hair again mainly because there's no reason to. I can blow dry and flat iron to acheive straight hair which is what most relaxed folks do anyway. I'm just trying to get out of this inbetween length now.

I would say that before you go natural you have to remember that shrinkage will always be there. And try to do styles that work with your hair and not against it.

Your natural hair is so pretty. You make me sick. Natural 2015 or bust..

 

[PerplexingComplex]

How many of you naturals don't have any problems with detangling? Can you detangle in a few minutes even if you are APL or longer? I am about APL texlaxed with 3 months of new growth and besides the shrinkage factor which I think I can get over because of my style choices, I never never never want to spend even one hour to detangle or even one hour on my wash/cowash process.

I don't. I only detangle in the shower. I finger part my hair in four sections. Let the pressure from the shower water allow my hair to begin to detangle itself, I help a little with a paddle brush. Braid that part back up and repeat with the other sections.

 

[manter26]

I thought about the question and realized I went through the same frustration with relaxed hair. When I had a bad hair week with relaxed hair I would get a cut or color or a touch up. Other times, frustrations usually led to a sew-in or extensions.

If I had a bad hair week with natural hair I would add a tick mark to the give up and relax column. Staying natural didn't have a chance. I think I lasted almost a semester, then textlaxed and went back to bone straight.

I recently transitioned for 5 mths then BC'd. My hair was surprisingly hard and dry. so far, I've found that the best moisturizer is Pantene conditioner. I cowash and rinse the previous days products out of my hair then I leave in Pantene Daily Moisture Conditioner, add some curl creme, gel and style.

I'm starting to realize that I may never get the curl definition I looked forward to, but I'm finding styles I love. I hope this time I can stick to staying natural and reap the benefits of relaxer free hair. if I get frustrated, I'm not going to automatically think about getting a relaxer, instead, I'll consider a cut, color, or fake hair.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Great advice. I'm loving my natural hair and trying different styles thanks to the book GOING NATURAL which encourages style planning as the hair grows. The various textures..top vs. left side vs. right side vs. back can be frustrating..I want all of my hair to be the same texture as the top middle but it is what it is.

I tend to start product applications thus more there at the top so that may be what the rest needs to be similar. The growth rate since chopping off the relaxed hair keeps surprising me. Detangling and being able to shampoo and condition often is easier than ever now and I love switching from afro to twists.
Still considering what to do come the cold weather.

 

[Computer Blue]

Echoing what others have said:

1. Get to know your hair & accept what it will and won't do. Cuts down on the potential frustration. Don't assume your hair will automatically behave like someone else's

2. Don't focus on others' raves because your hair may hate something that someone else's loves. It is fun to experiment and try new products, but it's best to know what ingredients really work for you. The sooner you figure it out the better. Research the benefits and properties of different ingredients and choose them to fit your needs.

 

[Dee Raven]

I have to agree with everyone else. KISS is the rule of the day. I most of the time do some kind of stretched style, that keeps my hair from getting so dry and tangled. Right now I take about 20 minutes to detangle my hair, I'm MBL and have pretty tight fine coils. I think it's possible to have long hair and still only wash, condition and detangle in an hour. Even though sometimes you'll definitely want to give your hair the spa treatment. But as you get to know your hair better, everything gets faster.

 

[BostonMaria]

My 2 year anniversary is in 5 weeks and my advice to the ladies who are transitioning or thinking of going natural is:

Realize that you won't know your "hair type" until you do the BC. Don't be so concerned with that though, just concentrate on the actual process and keeping your new growth healthy.

I BC'd at 36 years old and hadn't seen my real hair since 1981. It took me YEARS to figure out my relaxed hair so I try to be patient with myself if its been 2 years and I still don't have this down pat. Relaxed hair doesn't behave like natural hair. I can use the same 2 products on my natural hair for 5 days straight and get 5 different results. The sooner you now this the better LOL

Before going online and ordering $100 worth of KBB, try natural ingredients that you can find locally like EVOO, coconut oil, honey, etc.

Don't give up!!!! If you grab a box of relaxer at CVS and relax your hair today, guess what? You might just regret it and start all over again. If I had not given up the FIRST time I tried to transition I'd be 9 years natural. Yeah. That's depressing LOL Time is going to pass ANY WAY, might as well do it and get it over with.

Last one - take pictures, write a journal, enjoy the process. It felt like forever at the time, but it'll be three years in November since I last saw a relaxer touch my scalp.

 

[oooop2]

My top 3 advice is:

1. Keep it simple. I think some naturals do way too much to their hair in trying to capture that certain look they saw on someone else. As a result, the become tired of the process and give up.

2. Find a good moisturizer and stick to it. And it doesn't have to be comnerical. Sheabutter/aloe gel/oil can work wonders. There is no reason why natural hair needs to be dry and brittle. If it is, you're using the wrong stuff for your hair.

3. Identify 1 person that has YOUR texture and the length you desire and start asking them questions. Once I did this, growing my hair became effortless b/c I had a blueprint to follow.

I've been natural for over 11 yrs, and love it!!!

 

[glamazon386]

I BC'd at 36 years old and hadn't seen my real hair since 1981. It took me YEARS to figure out my relaxed hair so I try to be patient with myself if its been 2 years and I still don't have this down pat. Relaxed hair doesn't behave like natural hair. I can use the same 2 products on my natural hair for 5 days straight and get 5 different results. The sooner you now this the better LOL

Ain't that the truth! It never looks the same twice.

 

[Vonnieluvs08]

Thank you ladies for all your advice and suggestions. I'll be 2 mos natural Sept 1st and I am still in the learning phase. My hair seems to like just about anything I put in it (oil, moisture, protein, naturals gels, etc). I need to find a hair cousin to be inspired by. I am inspired by many ladies here and spend a lot of time in many fotkis. I aspire to be where you all are as my journey continues.

Thank you again ladies.

 

[Ltown]

My top 3 advice is:

1. Keep it simple. I think some naturals do way too much to their hair in trying to capture that certain look they saw on someone else. As a result, the become tired of the process and give up.

2. Find a good moisturizer and stick to it. And it doesn't have to be comnerical. Sheabutter/aloe gel/oil can work wonders. There is no reason why natural hair needs to be dry and brittle. If it is, you're using the wrong stuff for your hair.

3. Identify 1 person that has YOUR texture and the length you desire and start asking them questions. Once I did this, growing my hair became effortless b/c I had a blueprint to follow.


I've been natural for over 11 yrs, and love it!!!

Good advice, which I would have figure this out when I started after PJ and trying everything I finally figure this out after 10 months of transition.

 

[BostonMaria]

Ain't that the truth! It never looks the same twice.

Ugh it drives me crazy spinning:

Here's something I learned real quick

If you're going out to a special event and want to wear your hair natural, do your hair early enough so that you know what it'll look like once your hair dries. Sometimes I think I look cute only to find out I looked a ham

Oh and if the above happens to you, keep a scrunchie or some type of hair accessory with you at all times! I keep 'em in my purse, desk, car, bathroom in case of a bad hair day emergency LOL

 

[Spongie Bloom]

I thought about the question and realized I went through the same frustration with relaxed hair. When I had a bad hair week with relaxed hair I would get a cut or color or a touch up. Other times, frustrations usually led to a sew-in or extensions.

If I had a bad hair week with natural hair I would add a tick mark to the give up and relax column. Staying natural didn't have a chance. I think I lasted almost a semester, then textlaxed and went back to bone straight.

I think you hit the nail on the head right there,
some pple equate hair frustration as something that only occurs with natural hair but hair frustrations happen whether you are natural or relaxed sometimes you will get with your hair.

I got frustrated with my relaxed hair too, sometimes my ends just did not act right or a rollerset or braid out didnt come out right etc so I expect at some point I will get annoyed with my natural hair but thats just life.

Also it would be nice to have someone who is going though the same thing as you e.g for me I would find someone in twa stage as well and share the journey together.

 

[amara11]

How many of you naturals don't have any problems with detangling? Can you detangle in a few minutes even if you are APL or longer?

-Finally I can say "me". I slather on conditioner, section hair into 4-6 sections and detangle in the shower under running water (using a denman). Doing it this way- the whole detangle, shampoo, condition thing is an absolute breeze.

To answer the OP:
-avocado butter is amazing. That on some rosewater misted hair is luscious.

-My hair does not like oils. They seem to work well for basically everyone- but my hair is just not into at all. Coconut, jojoba, you name it, my hair says no. This was very frustrating to me when I first went natural, b/c I would look for advice on how to manage the dryness, and soften it a bit, and lots of folks recommend some form of an oil. None of them worked and I was really frustrated.

-So, just because everyone's into it- doesn't mean it'll work for you, but that also doesn't mean that being natural isn't *for you* or your hair is harder to manage. Simply means you have different needs.

-My hair needs a water based moisturizer, for the most part (avocado butter is the one exception). I don't even seal with oils- I really have no use for them in my regimen. C'est la vie.

-Daily CW'ing did wonders for my hair.

-Never sleep on DC'ing or doing protein treatments with heat. Exponentially improved the texture of my hair shaft and the results of all my styles (my sheen blings).

-Humidity can actually be your best friend. Free steam treatments. When I know the weather will be humid, I work with the humidity and not against it. My hair is softer for it. Braidouts, curly fro's, etc look really good when they swell some due to humidity.

-Be patient- you'll eventually get in your groove, and your hair will behave like it's on your team. This is where my hair is now, but it took a min to figure things out. My hair is like butter now and I swear I fall in love with it all over again every time I wash it.

 

[Honey01]

I was just talking about that "in between" length while natural. I really really tried to go natural several months ago. I transitioned for about 14 weeks. I really contemplated the BC because the tangles literally had me in tears on wash day. But, I was scared. And honestly, I kinda caved into my husband's resistance to the idea of me cutting my hair. I know, I punked out.

The week after I relaxed, one of my co-workers came in with a new short BC. I was so jealous. I really love looking at folks pics that BC'd with less 3 inchs. I just don't think I will (1) be good at stlying at the in-between stages (say after 3inchs) (2) or frankly like the styling options. I just don't find I am twist, coil kind of girl.

For some reason, I only picture myself at the two extremes. Either supershort and chic, or with a somewhat large from that with enough length to hang.

 

[MJ]

I did two big chops. I've learned that Patience is a must! Also, some sacrifices may be necessary.

For example, in 2007, I decided to wear wigs until I reach BSL. I've been striving for BSL since 2000! The catch is, I don't particularly like wearing wigs, and I don't like to experiment with styles and colors. As a result, I've been wearing the same style wig since 2008. That's my sacrifice.

I've been seeing positive results . My avatar shows my length as of this past June. That was the longest my natural hair had ever been, ever!

ETA: I put the wigs aside for a few weeks in 2008 and 2009: I had a friend cornrow and twist my hair when I returned to Jamaica. I how I look with my natural hair. I get great feedback too. However, reaching BSL is my first priority. I know...

 

[vkb247]

Thanks ladies. I am continuously debating transitioning because I love length but I can't ignore how much healthier the natural hair looks. Right now my hair is manageable and healthy but I am worried about it staying that way. Can you ladies tell me more about things that changed as your hair grew? How many of you can wash n go without problems?

 

[LoveisYou]

Thanks ladies, you guys dropped some true gems in this thread. This will be my reference when I'm natural again

 

[Aggie]

Natural Redhead, please break your post up into a few paragraphs. It is very hard to read and I would like to read it. Thanks.

Yeah ITA, I prefer to read posts that are broken up in paragraphs as well. The letters all seem to come together as one when it's too thick which gets me all dizzy.