Things you need to know before going natural

L

LoveisYou

Well-Known Member
As someone who went from relaxed to natural to relaxed again, naturals what makes you stay natural?

I enjoyed my natural hair the first 8 months after my big chop, it was short and easy. However, as it grew, I experienced a lot of frustration with styling and became disheartened when I felt my hair wouldn't "behave". As a result, I relaxed.

Oh I wish I had persevered! I want natural hair again, but this time I intend to STAY natural. I just want to ensure tht this time around I make an informed decision, so my question to you is what are things that I (we) need to know before beginning the natural journey?
 
I was natural for almost 5 years and I loved it, but had a new lifestyle which gave me less time to devote on caring for my natural hair. The best advice is to not fight with your natural hair. There will be days the coils will look nice and days you will have to try harder to make it look nice. Just make sure you co-wash often, stay away from heat or limit it, and moisture your hair as much as possible. Try to find products that are good for your hair, and not jump on bandwagons.
 
I didn't know you relaxed OP. It's been almost 3 years for me now and I'm still hanging in there. I had thought about texturizing about a year ago and decided not to go through with it. It's just the shrinkage that bothers me sometimes. I do get frustrated but I feel like I don't want to ever relax my hair again mainly because there's no reason to. I can blow dry and flat iron to acheive straight hair which is what most relaxed folks do anyway. I'm just trying to get out of this inbetween length now.

I would say that before you go natural you have to remember that shrinkage will always be there. And try to do styles that work with your hair and not against it.
 
I was natural for the first 16 yrs of my life so Im aqcuainted with my natural hair even though I just BC'd after 6 yrs of relaxing. Anyhoo when I was in high school I kept my hair in cornrows so I didnt really deal with it I will go back to that when my hair gets longer and I cant be bothered with it. Just KISS and your hair will thrive if you get frustrated with it braid it up
 
Thanks so much for your feedback ladies.

Sassy you are right the right products are key. I was obsessed with finding products that "made my curls pop". Well I have kinks, not curls and that is a beautiful thing. That's a lesson I'm glad I learned.

Glam, yes I relaxed back in February of this year, I definitely need to learn to style natural hair and have been watching tutorials on youtube.

Sponge looking back I wished I got some kinky twists instead of relaxing out of frustration.
 
I am going to BC again for the second time in November and I think having some ideas on styles for your hair texture and length would help. I relaxed after 2 years of being natural because I was tired of my daily puff. If I had not relaxed in 2005, I would have been 6 years natural!!!! :blush:
 
What do you mean by "behave"? If it's what I think, then I think the thing you need to know about being natural is that it's different from being relaxed. :) Accept beforehand that your hair will still be behaving, it will just be behaving differently. :giggle: If it's just an issue where you don't know how to groom natural hair, that's no big deal. I didn't, either, for a very long time, and I was natural! But there are all sorts of great videos out there now. Should be easy peasy to find some style that will work for you.
 
Irie_Chic said:
Thanks so much for your feedback ladies.

Sassy you are right the right products are key. I was obsessed with finding products that "made my curls pop". Well I have kinks, not curls and that is a beautiful thing. That's a lesson I'm glad I learned.

Glam, yes I relaxed back in February of this year, I definitely need to learn to style natural hair and have been watching tutorials on youtube.

Sponge looking back I wished I got some kinky twists instead of relaxing out of frustration.
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So have I. I've been trying to find some new styles myself. I think I may experiment with straight hair more often this winter.
 
mwedzi said:
What do you mean by "behave"? If it's what I think, then I think the thing you need to know about being natural is that it's different from being relaxed. :) Accept beforehand that your hair will still be behaving, it will just be behaving differently. :giggle: If it's just an issue where you don't know how to groom natural hair, that's no big deal. I didn't, either, for a very long time, and I was natural! But there are all sorts of great videos out there now. Should be easy peasy to find some style that will work for you.
Click to expand...


OMG you have a youtube channel:grin:...doing the happy dance. I will be visiting often for tips, thanks so much for the feedback. Yes I wasn't allowing my hair to behave in its own way, IT taught me better, lol
 
The wealth of videos showing techniques is really fantastic these days. I've been natural only for 18 months (I know, still a newbie :grin:), and I know about the frustrating days, and trying to find what works. I think a key is committing to being natural, which really is a mental element. I think it's also important to really take time to learn what works for your hair!!! Some generalizations may not work for you, and may be a hindrance to you achieving your goals. For instance, my hair is not fond of constant co-washing and really likes protein. She (yes, my hair is female) also prefers a fine tooth comb to be used when twisting. Those are all "no-nos" in general, but work for me. Good luck this second time around. We'll be rooting for you!!
 
Irie_Chic said:
As someone who went from relaxed to natural to relaxed again, naturals what makes you stay natural?

I enjoyed my natural hair the first 8 months after my big chop, it was short and easy. However, as it grew, I experienced a lot of frustration with styling and became disheartened when I felt my hair wouldn't "behave". As a result, I relaxed.

Oh I wish I had persevered! I want natural hair again, but this time I intend to STAY natural. I just want to ensure tht this time around I make an informed decision, so my question to you is what are things that I (we) need to know before beginning the natural journey?
Click to expand...

I think when you get tired of dealing with your hair that you should consider putting it away. There have definitely been times where I found myself very frustrated with the time and effort my natural hair took. During those times I relied on braids, cornrows and twists.

I think the only thing you really need to know is that your natural hair WILL take more time and effort than your relaxed hair. I think if you are prepared for that you will be okay. Remind yourself why you went natural, why it was worth it and make the time to take care of your hair.

Completely OT: Can we talk about where you got the dress in your avatar. Coral is my favorite color and that dress is gorgeous. You look great!
 
I think a good thing to remember is u won't just wake up one day with long textured hair. I had this idea that my hair would just grow with no problems and that would be that. It's definitely a journey and takes time to understand ur hair and change some habits that u are used to. There's goingto be that point where it's so frustrating it's kinda long but it's not it's kinda boring ur tired of playing with it and ur sick of everyhhing. Lol. I've been there! It's a hump in the journey but once it passes u love ur hair that much more. When I got there I just had to remember that it's so versatile that I can do anyhing. Hence the color. Good luck! U have done this before so at least if mentally ready for it again.
 
Off the top of my head I would say:

-Learn to work "with" your hair, not against it. The more you accept your hair for what it is, the easier it will be for you to do this. I have a family member who's still kinda "newly natural" and she keeps asking me if I think "this or that product" will make her hair look a certain way (curlier, more defined, etc etc). I went through that phase as well. And sometimes I still do...but once I accepted my texture for what it was I didn't have to struggle as much with my hair.

-You may have to switch up your regimen (and maybe even products) as your hair grows. When my hair was shorter I could comb it "all loose" in the shower. Once I got around APL that was NOT happenin any more LOL! I have to comb it in sections now, and can't go longer than once a week without detangling it.

-I wore braids during my "in between length" when it was too long to wear a puff anymore but too short to wear in a pony. I also experimented with twists during that time until it grew past my shoulders.
 
Irie_Chic said:
As someone who went from relaxed to natural to relaxed again, naturals what makes you stay natural?

I enjoyed my natural hair the first 8 months after my big chop, it was short and easy. However, as it grew, I experienced a lot of frustration with styling and became disheartened when I felt my hair wouldn't "behave". As a result, I relaxed.

Oh I wish I had persevered! I want natural hair again, but this time I intend to STAY natural. I just want to ensure tht this time around I make an informed decision, so my question to you is what are things that I (we) need to know before beginning the natural journey?
Click to expand...
This is MY history. I ws natural four years ago, and again in 2007. If i keept natural from the begining i could have a very very long hair. Is a shame that i just found this site too late ToT.
 
Hi ladies,

I am very new here and I am very conflicted about going natural. I think I want to go natural but it is a really scary thing for me, my hair has been relaxed since probably first grade. I see the youtube videos and I think why I continue to relax my hair. I relax my hair but not completely, it still has some of my natural texture and I relaxed about every 8 weeks. I have really just started caring for my hair as in trying to find out what my hair needs. I think what really sparked my interest in my hair is when my husband started asking questions about my hair and I couldn’t answer. He asked if African American hair grew slower than any other race. We googled to find out. I was even shocked to find that it doesn’t grow any slower.
Then he asked me why does it take so long for my hair to grow. My hair is about 1 inch below bsl, it is not short. In the years we have been together, his hair has reached hip length with trims and all. I would wash my hair weekly and he thought this was caring for it, because that’s all he does to his.
He asked how would my hair look if I didn’t relax it. I said I don't know so I stopped flat ironing and blow drying and I am now 11 weeks post relaxer. In some sections of my head, I have about 3 inches of new growth and in some areas (the nape) a little less about 1 inch. He absolutely loves the feel and the look of my new growth and so do I. I’m surprised! From the research, I have what I think is maybe a mixture of 4b in the top and according to some sites 4c hair in the back, not sure.
I know the more videos I watch about women taking the journey from relaxed to natural, the more excited I get about one day becoming natural. I dislike relaxing my hair a bit more with each video I watch. If any of you ladies could help me out with what texture I have, I would love to know. Also, any tips on how to tame my new growth without heat would be much appreciated.
 
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Moisture Moisture Moisture. My hair would get dry and crunchy ALL the time, I found that it liked co-washes, protein treatments, Giovanni Direct leave in (on dry hair) sealed with EVOO or CO. Then BKT really helped with smoothing my cuticles so my hair doesn't knot. I tried the Curly Primer method that was mentioned on here and my hair loves it (it uses up a load of my favourite conditioners though and there's a LOT of shrinkage for me)...
 
Natural Redhead, please break your post up into a few paragraphs. It is very hard to read and I would like to read it. Thanks.
 
If you cave and relax or texlax... and your hair reverts almost 100%, it's possibly a sign that you aren't 'done' with your natural.... and it's time to look for naturals close to your type and see what they do
 
I love being natural I am sad my hair grows so slowly I been natural since April 2006 and still have not reached armpit. its so frustrating. But I love being natural it was not easy once my hair started growing I was limited to what I could do to it. hence I would never do the BC again. WE all have that awkward stage.

I just used cute bands until my hair was finally long enough for a ponytail and then I made a youtube video but my hair ended up getting cut short again and I am sad its not long enough to make another video yet. But I think its a learning process you learn your hair as you go along. Some products work great when its short and sassy and when it starts getting longer those same products might not work so well. Right now I don't have much in my stash I just stock up on conditioner and leave ins and some gels and thats pretty much it. I have since grown my hair out but I think next month through Dec I get a growth spurt and I am waiting on it.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Trudy465
 
You will have to learn that with regards to your natural hair; IT IS WHAT IT IS

You may have 19 different textures of hair.
One side may shrink more or less than another side.
Your hair may not grow out like your thought it would or should or not grow fast enough for you in its natural state.
You will be green with envy sometimes when you see someone's natural hair journey taking off by leaps and bounds.
Product search could be frustrating beyond all reason.

But when you are going natural and you have not seen your natural locks an a while if ever it is a journey beyond belief.

You will need patience so acting like the kids in a car on a looong journey inquring Are We There Yet? Won't get you to your goal of natural long hair any faster.

You will have to mature just like your hair is growing and maturing into its natural wonder.

Having natural hair is more of a lesson in embracing whatever it is that is growing out of your head and dealing with it in a manner that will help you achieve your natural hair goals.

There are going to be good times and bad times and times when you will want to reach for that box of relaxer. I don't want to scare you, but I want you to be real honest with yourself and understand that depending on your attitude and maturity about your natural hair journey it could be an incredible time or a terrible time.
 
Products make all the difference!! Keep a journal of ingredients in products (the first five after water) your hair likes and doesn't like. A pattern WILL develop.
 
-Accept that you will always and forever have shrinkage

-Find styles that work with your hair texture (coils, twists, puffs), not against it (dominican rollersets, straightening)

-You will get frustrated with your hair if you constantly try to make it do what it doesnt do naturally. When folks say that their natural hair is unmanageable, its usually because they are not accepting it the way it looks and want to manipulate it in ways that it doesnt agree with.

-Trial and error is a necessary evil. Don't get frustrated when those highly acclaimed techniques and products that have been working for many board members doesnt work for you.

-Get a hair texture comparable hair idol :wink2:

-Invest in cute scarves for lazy hair days

-If you become frustrated with your natural hair, do not chemicalize. Hide your hair in braids, kinky twists, wigs, weaves.

-Caring for natural hair shouldnt be like preparing for armageddon. Sometimes simplicity is key.

-Don't be so hell bent on trying to cover up/straighten out/comb out naps buckshots, beady bees, etc. along the hairline and nape. They will always win :yep:

-There will be nay-sayers, cynics, haters in your midst. Like dissenters to other areas of your life, brush them off and don't give them the satisfaction of knowing that they have gotten to you. When you emerge with a fluffy mass of healthy natural hair, they will change their tune real quick lol.

-Know that your hair is unique and beautiful.

-Understand that folks (especially blacks) who don't like/accept/think natural hair is ugly have been conditioned to do so. It's not really their fault, so exercise some understanding in these situations and make them into teachable moments :grin:
 
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How many of you naturals don't have any problems with detangling? Can you detangle in a few minutes even if you are APL or longer? I am about APL texlaxed with 3 months of new growth and besides the shrinkage factor which I think I can get over because of my style choices, I never never never want to spend even one hour to detangle or even one hour on my wash/cowash process.
 
vkb247 said:
How many of you naturals don't have any problems with detangling? Can you detangle in a few minutes even if you are APL or longer? I am about APL texlaxed with 3 months of new growth and besides the shrinkage factor which I think I can get over because of my style choices, I never never never want to spend even one hour to detangle or even one hour on my wash/cowash process.
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This is the thing that no one told me before I went natural. I had no idea how much time I'd have to spend in my hair each day/week/month. I saw a lot of loose naturals who raved about how little time their hair took to groom and i assumed it would be the same for me -especially because I love to protective style. WRONG. Depending on your texture, your styling could be as simple as 5 minutes of grooming and "wash and go's" (like my sis)....or several hours of detangling and removing shed hair (like mine).

It's a commitment and it's best to know in advance. This is something I never saw discussed...
 
For me I had to learn to accept that there is a length that I hate my hair in any style I try. I got though it with braids.
 
* Your hair is not going to do everything you want it to. Learn to work with it instead of against it - you will retain more length, your hair will be healthier and you'll be totally less stressed.

* With that said, natural hair is not restrictive. Look at fotkis, pics on here, youtube videos etc for style ideas. I've been natural for almost 3 years and since I spend a lot of time in braids, I often have to "re-learn" how versatile my hair is by experimenting. When I get tired of loose hair, I go back to braiding and retain a lot of growth.

* Relaxed hair comes with it's own set of issues and is not always the hassle-free solution to difficult natural hair that it's often perceived to be. I see more naturals who relax go back to being natural quickly than stay relaxed. I know it's usually because their ideas of what relaxed hair would do for them were not true or they did it whilst frustrated. Personally, when I see people regret relaxing, I know I don't want to see myself in the same situation.

* Ask questions or do your research. I often ask my fotki visitors things when I'm frustrated and it's good to hear different perspectives. I also do research when I'm going through something with my hair and want to find a solution to the problem.


* There will be times you're frustrated as heck with your hair. Create a plan (such as protective styling for X months) for how to get over it before you take it out of your hair.

* Look at fotkis, youtubes, hair inspiration threads here etc of people with fabulous hair. Looking through a fotkis of people with the hair length I want (such as VelvetHalo and MissMarie's) keeps me striving to keep my hair healthy.

* Always make sure your moisture level is on point.
 
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-it can do what straight hair can and more.

when i say this, most people think it's just a simple comment, but i want to stress that natural hair is much more versatile than relaxed.

-you should strive to be more creative. mix oils, butters, condishes. Make your own blends of products according to how your hair reacts to them. Because all our hair is different, certain things work differently on our hair. I whipped shea butter, coconut oil, rosemary oil, and a bit of olive oil into a hair butter that just is to die for on my hair.
Get creative with styles, look up youtubes and work WITH your texture and your hair into something cute. When you feel the urge to relax, get a sew in, some braids, kinky twists. It WILL be okay.
 
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