They spent a night at HER house!!

[beans4reezy]

Okay, breath....

So my ex- the father of my two sons and I broke up over a year ago. When I say broke up, I mean- he left me about six months pregnant and moved in with his sister and never came back home. Mind you, he left me with a rent of $1300 to pay by myself and until now...I never went through filing for child support...but still, that's neither here nor there.

He has visitations where he takes my son for the weekend or overnight on Fridays. When he started seeing this woman- on his first date, he was kissing this woman in front of my four year old and I found out, he took my four year old to her house. I, was pissed, but I tried to be mature and I said, if my son was going to spend time over there- then I needed to meet her...you know what he tells me-- she doesn't think it's necessary. This woman has a 10 yr. old and a 5 year old and she doesn't see the importance of of me meeting her if she has been/is going to be around my son.

Okay, let's fast forward to last weekend...aka the last ****** straw. Not only does my ex move in with this woman - but come to find out he takes my four year old there, my son spends the night at this woman's house and that isn't even the worse part...do you know where my son spent the night????? ON THE FLOOR WITH HER FIVE YEAR OLD PLAYING VIDEO GAMES WHILE MY EX AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE SLEEPING IN BED. Everyone is in ONE ROOM!!!!!!

Okay, moms? Is my rage unjustified????? I called him demanding to know why the hell my son was on floor - number one? Why they hell was he sleeping over there without a conversation with me- number two? Number three- why weren't the boys, at the very least, in a separate room?????????? I pay $1300 a month and my son has his own room, his own bed, own tv, his OWN. Why the hell would you take him from his comfy environment and put him to sleep on a floor??????He tells me "It's a long story...." I called him a loser and hung up.

I am going to file for full physical custody of my boys asap. Do I have a case? I'm not saying he can't see my son- he can. But no over night stay's. My ex has flawed judgement and based on his girlfriend, who put her own son on the floor to lay up in bed with a man, her judgement as a mom is flawed as well and I don't want my son in that environment. I don't know what the woman looks like, where she lives, I don't even have a last name--what if there is a situation and I need to come get my son?????????Please help with any advice. I am also looking for any numbers where I can consult with an attorney for free.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Wow. BUmping. I hope some attorneys come in and help you. I think you have a reason to be angry. Especially if they're all in the same room together and your son is sleeping on the floor. And apparently if you've tried to ask in the past, it seems that he doesn't want to meet you half way (even w/ meeting her, and I'm sure he'll have excuses for why your son is on the floor...at some lady's house that you don't even know [or where she lives]).

 

[Nixx22jam]

Sorry I have no advice just hugs! :hug:

It seems to me you do have a case where you feel the safety of your child is not up to your standards. Isnt their a citizens advice agency you an go to?

 

[FlowerHair]

You should file for full custody AND child support asap.

He can still see them every now and then, but it doesn't make sense for him to have them overnight when he can't provide a proper sleeping area for your children.

 

[beans4reezy]

He's been dating her since Thanksgiving and I only have a name- not even a last name. I'm just trying to comprehend how two adults can sleep up in a bed while two children lay on a floor! My ex was living with me, then moves in with his sister, now he's living with a woman that I don't know- which would be none of my business- but it now becomes my concern as my son is spending nights over there!! I'm travelling on business to California in two days, or else I would have been headed straight to family court.

 

[firecracker]

Well sounds like you have cause for concern because I hate to say this but your ex is dead wrong, a louse and kinda sorry. Any man that moves from house to house with women instead of getting his own roof is a user and trifling! Your ex is showing signs of whats to come and I'm sure in the back of your head you know the deal because you said he LIVED WITH YOU! That speaks volume sweetie. I don't know your ex but I damn sho have male cousins just like em aka They don't want real financial or parental responsibility so they use women that have their own ****. You gon haveta tell him he needs to man up, become independent or he will have supervised visits until he fights for visitation in the courts. Go file for full custody and child support. His new chick is sorry as hell too! I'm sure dude already had a pattern before she got with him though. Good luck.

 

[TayMac]

I would be livid in this situation.

Good luck in court.

 

[Keen]

I don't know if you have a case but you definitely have ground to be concerned. I don't care about the ex and his current girlfriend living situation, if your son is going to be around her, you have the right to want to meet her. They really let the 5 year olds stay up and play video game all night?

 

[beans4reezy]

I don't know if you have a case but you definitely have ground to be concerned. I don't care about the ex and his current girlfriend living situation, if your son is going to be around her, you have the right to want to meet her. They really let the 5 year olds stay up and play video game all night?

Yes!!!! Their sleeping while the boys are playing video games!!!!!!!!!!! Now, I won't be here for the week- their is nothing to stop my ex from picking up my son and bringing back over there. Legally, there isn't a thing I can do to stop him!

 

[carcajada]

Sorry OP, I have to exit this thread. I am sitting here angry for you. It just doesn't make any sense. My head would start spinning like the Exorcist.

*exits*

 

[Triniwegian]

Are you going to take him to court for allowing your son to sleep on the floor?
Did your son fall asleep on the floor because he passed out from playing video games or was it because there were no bed for him to lay in? How is he unsafe by sleeping on the floor? My nieces sleep on the floor (with blankets and mattresses) all the time when they have sleepovers.


As for him taking your child to another woman's house; at some point everyone will find someone new, are you going to prevent your child's father from having a girlfriend? And if he does have one, he can't see his child? You broke up you don't have that control over him.

I don't think the court is going to stop him from seeing his child just because you are uncomfortable with him having a new woman. I don't think he needs to have a conversation with you if he wants to take his son somewhere, just like you probably do not ask/tell him what you plan on doing with his son when he is with you.

I am not saying you're wrong in feeling that way, I am just playing the devil's advocate here. Imagine if he demanded custody if he knew you had a man you and your son went on vacation with or spent time at his house?

 

[Triniwegian]

Yes!!!! Their sleeping while the boys are playing video games!!!!!!!!!!! Now, I won't be here for the week- their is nothing to stop my ex from picking up my son and bringing back over there. Legally, there isn't a thing I can do to stop him!

True, I have seen a similar scenario with a family member. And unfortunately when parents split, these are the things that you have to deal with.

I am sorry you have to deal with this. take him to court and let him pay child support, you are letting him off the hook to easily.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I can understand your rage. I have no idea whether or not you'll get full custody of your children unless your ex is a danger or not stable. If he's proven to have a good relationship with his children after leaving, he'll more than likely be given joint custody, but this is my opinion.

You really need to file for child support. You owe that to your children. I know that women like to feel that they can do it all by themselves without the help of their children's father--but this is not about you, it's about your kids. He should be made to pay. That might keep him from going from woman to woman having kids and not being financially responsible.

 

[WhoIAm]

Are you going to take him to court for allowing your son to sleep on the floor?
Did your son fall asleep on the floor because he passed out from playing video games or was it because there were no bed for him to lay in? How is he unsafe by sleeping on the floor? My nieces sleep on the floor (with blankets and mattresses) all the time when they have sleepovers.


As for him taking your child to another woman's house; at some point everyone will find someone new, are you going to prevent your child's father from having a girlfriend? And if he does have one, he can't see his child? You broke up you don't have that control over him.

I don't think the court is going to stop him from seeing his child just because you are uncomfortable with him having a new woman. I don't think he needs to have a conversation with you if he wants to take his son somewhere, just like you probably do not ask/tell him what you plan on doing with his son when he is with you.

I am not saying you're wrong in feeling that way, I am just playing the devil's advocate here. Imagine if he demanded custody if he knew you had a man you and your son went on vacation with or spent time at his house?

I think (most of) the anger in this situation, is that OP does not know who this chick is.

If the children are going to be around his girlfriend he should have the decency to let his kids mom know, especially for safety reasons. Momma has the right to know names, addresses etc. in case something ever happens.

This should work the same way if the mother has a bf.

OP: You need to stop feeling sorry for him and file for CS before his money gets diverted somewhere else. And you definitely need to do if before he starts making more babies.

 

[beans4reezy]

I think (most of) the anger in this situation, is that OP does not know who this chick is.

If the children are going to be around his girlfriend he should have the decency to let his kids mom know, especially for safety reasons. Momma has the right to know names, addresses etc. in case something ever happens.

This should work the same way if the mother has a bf.

OP: You need to stop feeling sorry for him and file for CS before his money gets diverted somewhere else. And you definitely need to do if before he starts making more babies.

THANK YOU! Great, he's found someone else. That's wonderful! He's HER problem to deal with now- not mine....people work in patterns- the same way he left me- he WILL leave her!

What becomes an issue is having my son around her and I have no idea what she looks like! AND- his triflin behind has brought this woman to MY house! TWICE!! And I still have no idea where my son is resting his head when he goes over there!!!!

 

[itismehmmkay]

It's all about the papers. File for the custody and support asap; I agree with you.

Regarding the sleeping on the floor. I wouldn't be as angry with that because it sounds like they fell asleep playing moreso. I think your anger is moreso at your ex and how he's handled everything. With that said, I'd also work on finding more peace between you two because this is life and this is what's happening. Think I'll PM you.

 

[Makenzie]

Reading the original post, I didn't get heated until I saw that OP doesn't know this knew woman's last name or address and has never seen her. If there is an emergency OP wouldn't know what to do or where to go or even who to contact. That's even if she knows about the emergency. OP, you need to put him on child support ASAP. And you need to talk to your ex and explain the importance of you knowing who this woman is and why.

 

[beans4reezy]

Reading the original post, I didn't get heated until I saw that OP doesn't know this knew woman's last name or address and has never seen her. If there is an emergency OP wouldn't know what to do or where to go or even who to contact. That's even if she knows about the emergency. OP, you need to put him on child support ASAP. And you need to talk to your ex and explain the importance of you knowing who this woman is and why.

He is the most unreasonable person you can imagine.... I know this is a conversation that I need to have with him...but I know exactly where its going to go. He's going to say, Don't worry about her. I'm his father and I know what's best for him.

The guy is hard headed.

 

[Country gal]

Where they sleeping on the floor because they were having a slumber party type thing? Are you saying the father lives in a one bedroom apartment with his girlfriend and her son. So the son sleeps on the couch usually and he slept on the floor because your son was there.

He does sound like a user and loser. I am sure you know that as well. Protect your child. Force him to pay child support before he ends up with a bun in the oven for someone else.

The father should have a room for your son to sleep in. Also, you should meet the woman that will be around your child. It doesn't sound like she deserves the mother of the year award.

 

[beans4reezy]

It's all about the papers. File for the custody and support asap; I agree with you.

Regarding the sleeping on the floor. I wouldn't be as angry with that because it sounds like they fell asleep playing moreso. I think your anger is moreso at your ex and how he's handled everything. With that said, I'd also work on finding more peace between you two because this is life and this is what's happening. Think I'll PM you.

Don't think so>>>>My son told me at bed time, him and Joshua sleep on the floor.

When I spoke to my ex- I asked him why the boys weren't put to sleep in another room and he didn't have an answer for me other than, "It's a long story..."

 

[Country gal]

He is the most unreasonable person you can imagine.... I know this is a conversation that I need to have with him...but I know exactly where its going to go. He's going to say, Don't worry about her. I'm his father and I know what's best for him.
The guy is hard headed.

I hear this point a lot in real life and on this board. Sometimes parents don't always know what is best for their kids hence the foster care system.

 

[beans4reezy]

Where they sleeping on the floor because they were having a slumber party type thing? Are you saying the father lives in a one bedroom apartment with his girlfriend and her son. So the son sleeps on the couch usually and he slept on the floor because your son was there.

He does sound like a user and loser. I am sure you know that as well. Protect your child. Force him to pay child support before he ends up with a bun in the oven for someone else.

The father should have a room for your son to sleep in. Also, you should meet the woman that will be around your child. It doesn't sound like she deserves the mother of the year award.

This is what concerns me. If they were all sleeping in one bedroom and my ex didn't have an answer for me as to why everyone is in one room- I'm afraid that he's moved in with this woman and her children into a one bedroom apartment. To me, that's disgusting and low class- but like I said before- that's his business. But to have my son put in such an undignified situation- hell naw. I work too damn hard to get rent paid each and every month to make sure he has a bed to sleep on for you and your woman to put him on the floor while you two are enjoying a mattress and pillow.

 

[Mortons]

If they really are living in a 1 bedroom, that is probably against their lease agreement, you should let him explain that "long story", cause that could lead to him getting kicked out, and a host of other issues you might want to circumvent.

 

[hopeful]

OP every mother wants to know exactly where her children are at night and who they are with. And children should have a bed, a mattress, something. The whole situation is ridiculous. File for child support ASAP. Why he ain't paying child support for two boys? Why is everyone letting this grown man and his children live with them? Please tell me he has a job...

 

[Ediese]

I see you haven't really responded about filing child support. I'm really curious though, why haven't you filed child support and your baby is already four? Not sure of the age of your other son. We, as women, need to stop trying to do it all on our own. One of my best friends is in a very similar position.

 

[hopeful]

Does he take both boys sometimes? Is there the possibility of two adults and four children (6 people) living in a 1-bedroom apartment?

 

[WhoIAm]

If they move in together, with her 2 kids and your 2 kids, they need at least a 2bedroom. I think there is some occupancy law. Check into that. You may be able to stop overnight visits until he has proper sleeping/living arrangements for the children.

 

[hopeful]

I've seen women not file for child support because the men sometimes threaten to pursue more visitation, more involvement in decisions, etc. and the women don't want to lose that control of doing what they want/how they want with their children. They think they will lose some power. The women see the children primarily as "hers" not "theirs". Not speaking about the OP but what I've seen.

 

[WhoIAm]

^^^Some women use it as a way to keep peace. A lot of men balk at the idea of being told when to take care of their kids and promise to do it without the courts. Some think it'll bring them (the man) back home.

OP: Life is easier with the state mandated CS. Your money is in the bank 1st and 15th (except holidays). Now all you have left to talk to him about is why his overgrown crusty butt has no qualms about sleeping the kids on the floor.

 

[beans4reezy]

I see you haven't really responded about filing child support. I'm really curious though, why haven't you filed child support and your baby is already four? Not sure of the age of your other son. We, as women, need to stop trying to do it all on our own. One of my best friends is in a very similar position.

Ediese,

The scumb bag left a year ago and I basically took the stance of *** him- I don't need him or his money (meanwhile, I am STEALING milk out of the fridge at my damn job because he left me so destitute that I couldn't even buy milk for my son to drink!). I let a year go by and then shortly after DS #2 came, I filed. And Filed again. I filed twice and FAILED to show up at the hearing. This second time (Jan), he agreed to give me $300 plus half of summer camp. He's been holding up his end of the deal BUT- if this loser has moved in with this woman - surely a baby will be to follow soon. I NEED to file and follow through now. I can't keep feeling sorry for this loser. I hate that I am leaving town in two days or else I would have been back to family court filing.