You are exactly the person I was talking about. You have had both natural and relaxed hair....just curious but did you EXPECT that your world view and/or how others reacted to you would change when you were natural?
The View Talking About Good Hair
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You are exactly the person I was talking about. You have had both natural and relaxed hair....just curious but did you EXPECT that your world view and/or how others reacted to you would change when you were natural?
AllAboutMoi
Active Member
People can go all up and through history but still you can not speak for all black women that relax their hair. Black women relax their hair for different reasons.
So I guess the naturals that choose to sometimes straighten their hair are all together confused on whether they want to fit the European norm or not according to some of the statements that have been made.
So I guess the naturals that choose to sometimes straighten their hair are all together confused on whether they want to fit the European norm or not according to some of the statements that have been made.
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Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Naw. I went natural cuz I was tired of being dependent on janky stylists and figured that it would be easier to grow my hair longer that way, since at the time relaxing wasn't working. BTW - I have been told that this is the 'wrong reason' to go natural so go figure.
What I discovered is that natural type 4 hair has it's own set of joys and complications. My issue with the complications is that the natural community is content with slogans like 'i just do what my hair tells me' or 'quit trying to make your hair do something it doesn't want to' as solutions. No, solutions are the things that address the problem. Slogans are the things that you come up with when you don't know what to do about the problem.
Hell, chlorine turns some people's hair green, but people didn't say 'stop going swimming'. To me almost every answer to the type 3 and 4 natural specific questions are the equivalent of 'stop going swimming'.
FYI - if anybody doesn't already know, I spent a year trying to find a solution to single strand knots before returning to relaxers.
almond eyes
Well-Known Member
In the 70s there was definitely a black is beautiful era going on. Afros were in because black people in America were celebrating their beauty in different shades and types of hair. Even films during that era (also including blaxploitation), it wasn't about being light-skinned or dark-skinned or what type of hair one had. I mean Cicely Tyson and Pam Grier both had it going on. On Good Times, the mother had the 4b natural hair and I never heard any derogatory things about her.
Somewhere a long the line, this rennaisance died and as more black women began to enter corporate America and enter once forbidden work places, it became important to fit in. Also as black men began to have more economic opportunities and music videos began coming out, more pressure was placed on black women to keep up, compete and fit in. When I was in school, as the only African in my entire class I wore my hair in these complicated braided hairstyles and the AA girls had relaxers and the white kids had their stringy hair and I just did not fit in but I felt like the most glamourous girl (well at least my mother made me feel that way).
I don't think anyone is suggesting that wearing a natural is going to change the world or that all black women should become natural, but what I think what is important is that black women who choose to go natural or stay natural should not be ridiculed as being militant, old fashion, nappy headed or unkempt. I think this film may reawaken black women to their own beauty choices. I was reading an article on models a few months ago written in a UK paper and the white booker/agent said that Black and Indian had the better faces and bodies than their white counterparts but for some reason weren't still getting hired at the same rate as the white models. So ladies, we are considered beautiful.
The bottom line is that I am hoping that black women begin to embrace their own beauty and not let the dominate culture define that standard because even white women can't live up to that. I have so many white acquaintances when I was working in Africa who felt like plain janes compared to the African women. When we start to be educated about how to take care of our hair and not abuse it, comb it hard, get knowledgeable about correct relaxer practises and how to deal with natural hair then we will feel good about ourselves and not feel that we have to cover up or beat our hair into submission.
Best,
Almond Eyes
Somewhere a long the line, this rennaisance died and as more black women began to enter corporate America and enter once forbidden work places, it became important to fit in. Also as black men began to have more economic opportunities and music videos began coming out, more pressure was placed on black women to keep up, compete and fit in. When I was in school, as the only African in my entire class I wore my hair in these complicated braided hairstyles and the AA girls had relaxers and the white kids had their stringy hair and I just did not fit in but I felt like the most glamourous girl (well at least my mother made me feel that way).
I don't think anyone is suggesting that wearing a natural is going to change the world or that all black women should become natural, but what I think what is important is that black women who choose to go natural or stay natural should not be ridiculed as being militant, old fashion, nappy headed or unkempt. I think this film may reawaken black women to their own beauty choices. I was reading an article on models a few months ago written in a UK paper and the white booker/agent said that Black and Indian had the better faces and bodies than their white counterparts but for some reason weren't still getting hired at the same rate as the white models. So ladies, we are considered beautiful.
The bottom line is that I am hoping that black women begin to embrace their own beauty and not let the dominate culture define that standard because even white women can't live up to that. I have so many white acquaintances when I was working in Africa who felt like plain janes compared to the African women. When we start to be educated about how to take care of our hair and not abuse it, comb it hard, get knowledgeable about correct relaxer practises and how to deal with natural hair then we will feel good about ourselves and not feel that we have to cover up or beat our hair into submission.
Best,
Almond Eyes
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mstar
Luxury bacon
I agree, especially with the bolded.
My ex-boss is a proud Jewish woman who uses the Japanese thio straightener...she has very curly/kinky hair. Jews have a complicated history, too, one of enslavement and genocide, but her community does not crucify her...no one is looking down at her or insisting that she's "ashamed" of her Jewish heritage. She actually looks better with the straight hair, as do many women, and I don't think black women should be under any special obligation to stick to what we were born with...that's not fair.
Black women are the only ones who are made to apologize for their preferences. Everyone else is allowed to color, straighten, curly perm, flat iron, etc. to their hearts' content, but WE are always made to feel 'less than,' no matter what we choose. And the sad part is that we're doing it to ourselves. I really hate the divisions we foster amongst ourselves, I hate the group-think, I hate the pressure. I think many naturals need to realize that they're not fooling anyone with the "I love myself" rhetoric. When you truly love yourself, you don't really care what other people are doing. I see too many naturals who concern themselves with other people's business far too much, so its obvious to me that the scars run deep, and they try to cover it up by judging others 24/7.
Modern women do many things that don't make sense, given the historical context. Most women still take their husband's last name, even though there is no real reason for them to do so, even though that practice used to mean that you were your husband's property. I wouldn't dare suggest that these women are taking their husbands' names because they still believe that men are better than women! Most do it because everyone else is doing it, because they want to fit in. While I don't agree with the practice and will not be following it myself, I don't see the need to go around harassing others for their choices, and trying to insist that something "deep" is going on there.
I personally feel that something is wrong when most black women wouldn't be caught dead wearing their natural hair. It's a sad holdover from our history of enslavement and prejudice, and we've internalized many of the negative messages. I get it. But each woman needs to come to that decision on her own, and I don't see the point of looking down on others because they're not as "enlightened" as those of us who wear our hair natural. It's counter-productive.
I'm not going to talk in circles. I think everyone DO get what I am saying but still want to hold onto a inferiority complex and blame someone else for it. Europeans colonialism did not set the standard for what is 'normal.' Straight hair is normal because that is what almost everyone in the world has. With the exception of nappy heads from subsahara Africa and a tiny fraction of Asian and pacific islanders straight hair is the norm. Maybe white people with blue eyes aren't going around wearing contacts in large numbers but they alter other things to conform to what is 'normal' such as tanning or bronzing or nose jobs, etc...
Nobody cannot get the naps of black people's hair, so it is silly to argue why people aren't conforming to get nappy hair. No. 1: it isn't possible and No. 2: nappy hair is uniquely different and isn't the 'norm.' You are basically crying "please do things to yourself that is common amongst amongst blacks so I can feel validated." What about everyone emulating black hair styles and style of dress or all the white people who has no lips and get lip injections. They alter themselves to conform to what is 'normal' all the time. No one can't alter or conform to the nappy head and dark skin that black people have.
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That book is old and I read it already, and majority of those hairstyle aren't on the heads of our ancestors. Our ancestors didn't have the best hair practices in Africa. What are proper hair tools that our ancestors needed? Combs, picks, and brushes were and still are available in every country especially in western countries. They never lost ability to deal with their hair. They just don't know how to deal with unruly hair and it continues to this day. Losing history has nothing to do with not knowing how to do your own hair. Our foreparents and ancestors still braided their hair. What is this stuff we lost concerning our hair? Stop making up excuses. Black women aren't straightening their hair to live up to some white standard of beauty. If that was the case, they wouldn't straighten it just to do all sorts of 'African' styles or elaborate styles to it that is only common to black people. Black women with a relaxer still wear braids and funny colors and strange styles. Straightening your hair so you can wear finger waves or sleek braids or unusual elaborate hairstyles is not conforming to white standard of beauty.
Hairsofab
Well-Known Member
Thank god Europeans showed up and told us how to deal with our "unruly" hair by relaxing it.
Thank god Europeans showed up and told us how to deal with our "unruly" hair by relaxing it.
White people never told us how to deal with our "unruly" hair. Blacks figured it out on their own. They conked it until it straighten. Europeans never told us to do that. The inferior mind of black people told them to do it to themselves.
Irresistible
New Member
Well actually it was a black man that discovered lye and what it did on a wool cloth (I think it was) and figure what it could do on our hairThank god Europeans showed up and told us how to deal with our "unruly" hair by relaxing it.
But the coveting straight hair and why in our history is very clear as to motives and intentions and thoughts etc
Thats where it all began
what a mess we still have today to deal with
healing and understanding the core of all this
Irresistible
New Member
Irresistible
New Member
I smell the scent of a troll and hatred
Thanks for pointing it out because black people think it was whitey who told us to straighten our hair and threw the conk at us. That was black people's idea to straighten their hair just like it was a black person's thought and invention to make the straightening comb for black women's hair. Those were black people's idea; they didn't come from whitey.
What???
The INFERIOR MIND OF BLACK PEOPLE!!???
:hardslap:
Yes, the inferior mind of black people is what made them straighten their own dang hair. Don't blame it on whitey.
Hairsofab
Well-Known Member
I knew it. And I was bad for responding to her in the first place. And I don't think that person is black either. No way based on some of the language used in other posts. From the writing style and syntax I don't even know if they are female. I'm just putting that out there. I know this thread is going to get locked in 3...2...1...
Ok, you're officially wildin'
Black people today still have an inferior complex like accusing black women who straighten their hair are trying to be white. Just because those are one's intention doesn't mean the other is walking around trying to look white.
BeetleBug
Well-Known Member
Please shut up now. Your cover has been blown.
erplexed.
Irresistible
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SVT
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