The Timing, or The "One"

Men settle down when...

  • The TIME is right

    Votes: 43 38.4%

  • They find "THE ONE"

    Votes: 8 7.1%

  • A combo of both

    Votes: 60 53.6%

  • Neither

    Votes: 1 0.9%
  • Total voters
    112
GeauXavi

GeauXavi

New Member
Okay ladies, I have talked about this in great detail with my girlfriends, so I'm just wondering what you think...

Scenario: You are dating a guy... he says that he still feels like playing the field...You understand, but continue to see him casually since you are in-between mates yourself. Then you drift apart and lose contact. You find out 8 months later that he is married, two months preggy...and happy...You find out who chick is, and she is Mediocre at best. Young, naiive, and for damn sure not as attractive as you are.

Now... don't take this story for face value...it can be manipulated in any way...

But...do you ladies think that when a man finally decides to settle down it is because of timing, or because the lady is really the ONE?
 
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But we ladies are looking for the "one" thats interesting...so who REALLY does the chosing when it comes down to it, right?

But yeah... I think that when guys realize that all their friends have jumped the broom...they start settling for/putting up with more than they would have in their younger days...
 
I think it's because the girl is "the one". Most things that I've read indicate that being the reason.
 
In my situation it was pure timing. Many of the other men I've dated seemed like the ONE but over time, they were not.

It has to do with a person's perspective and where they are in life, i.e. timing.
 
I think men get married (those who ever plan to get married) when they find the "one" for them. Timing does play a factor sometimes but I suspect that many men use that as an excuse to not be serious about the women they're dating that are not their version of the "one."

My brother had never been serious about a girl and then during college he proposed to his now wife and married her after dating like a year and a half. They married before they even graduated (which could be considered bad timing) when he was 23 years old. But she is his "one."
 
With the men in my life, for most of them it's timing.

But many men do marry because she's "the one".:yep:
 
SEMO said:
I think men get married (those who ever plan to get married) when they find the "one" for them. Timing does play a factor sometimes but I suspect that many men use that as an excuse to not be serious about the women they're dating that are not their version of the "one."
Click to expand...

I agree. I was reading something on MSN a few weeks ago. It's a combination of both I think but if he's really serious you don't have to question anything. If you (general you) ask why you dated but he didn't propose to you but he married the next one months after then it has to do with he just wasn't that into you sort of thing if you ask me.

It will happen when he is ready not when you think he should be ready. I find guys to be simple creatures they really aren't that hard to understand if you ask me. I've had more guy friends so I if I had a problem with someone I was dating I would go to my guy friends to find out the deal who better to ask but a guy?
 
I'm going to go with timing. It's been said when a man is ready, he goes and finds the one. Whether she's mediocre at best from anyone else's perspective is irrelevant when in his mind, she's the one!
 
PoeticJustice said:
I'm going to go with timing. It's been said when a man is ready, he goes and finds the one. Whether she's mediocre at best from anyone else's perspective is irrelevant when in his mind, she's the one!
Click to expand...

I think it's timing too, for the most part. Women are always thinking with every guy if he could be the one. Men decide to settle down and search for a wife. I think they choose the best of their options. I'm sure men come across "the one" but for the most part, I think they pick the woman who fits their list most closely.
 
combo of both. some men are ready to settle down but are still holding out for the one even if they're in relationships already. we've seen time and time again men who will date women for years but get married within very quickly after to someone else. on the flip-side, you have men who are already with the one but want to get things in order before they embark on married life.
 
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I believe it's because of the one. I would say timing if it was years and years that had gone by. Lemme ask you....was there a whole lot different about his life after 8 months that made the timing so much better?

Cincysweet said it great. The one always comes on time.
 
Cincysweetie said:
I think for both men and women, The One always comes On Time.
Click to expand...


Amen to that! Also...i was just giving an anecdote...I'm not ready to be married at all...:nono:

I was, however, noticing that the opposite has true when I meet a man that is older it is always like a "this is it" type thing... like "i want to marry you now" I don't know...

That's why I've decided to put serious dating on hold...B/c I don't even want to give the impression that i'm ready:look:
 
btw... the story was half fictional, half real... something that I thought maybe most ladies could relate to...kinda Sex n the City-ish...lol...

the story was inspired by a few experiences shared by me and some friends...None of the guys that I have dated are married...but they do have baby-mammas...i'm not envious...lol!
 
PoeticJustice said:
I'm going to go with timing. It's been said when a man is ready, he goes and finds the one. Whether she's mediocre at best from anyone else's perspective is irrelevant when in his mind, she's the one!
Click to expand...

I agree with this. I think it is a combination of both. I think a man will not marry "the one" if he is not ready to get married at that stage in his life, but at the same time a man will not marry just anybody just because he wants to get married.
 
IMHO
It is a combination of both. Men will have their "Lists" ready on who and what type of person they want to marry. Then the "one" sneaks up on them and then the next thing for them to prepare for is the timing.
 
I'd say both, with timing being a bit more dominant of the two choices. Sometimes a man is simply ready, and will marry the very next woman that shows up that meets enough of his qualifications. The reason I think timing is a bit more of a factor is because I've seen a lot of men do this, then pine for the "one that got away".
 
I believe a combination of both, but timing moreso, b/c a guy could be with "the one" but not ready to settle down. I've heard guys say many times that they were with what they considered "the one" but they were not ready to be committed to one person at that time, if they could do them and then come back to "the one".:ohwell:

Then the flip side is a guy could be ready to settle down but not find "the one" or be compatible with the women he's been meeting or dating. So I say it's timing and the one as a combo..
 
Conqueror_aka said:
btw... the story was half fictional, half real... something that I thought maybe most ladies could relate to...kinda Sex n the City-ish...lol...

the story was inspired by a few experiences shared by me and some friends...None of the guys that I have dated are married...but they do have baby-mammas...i'm not envious...lol!
Click to expand...

The Taxicab theory.....

I think its mostly due to timing.
 
I say it's all about the timing. He has to get his mind right for what's expected of him.

Now, he will chose the best one for that time. And in most situations it is not the one who coasted with him until the time came.
 
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Lnacen said:
Not true all the time. I think that a girl can be "the one" and the timing could still be VERY off.
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As a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason"...my response to the above statment is that she really wasn't "the one" after all. Only my opinion.
 
In my opinion I think men settle when the time is right more often than when they find the one. They could come across their "soulmate", but if they still wanna run amuck it matters not. Seems like a large proportion of guys propose on impulse/on a whim, because they feel like they have to (ex: girlfriend is expecting so they have to be a man) or because they're getting too old to be out dating.
 
Cincysweetie said:
As a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason"...my response to the above statment is that she really wasn't "the one" after all. Only my opinion.
Click to expand...

I totally agree with this statement. I used to say 'it was timing' because it was hard to admit he didn't want ME. I've seen it time and time again that when 'the one' shows up, he doesn't want to lose her and will do whatever it takes, step up to the plate, get married, stop being a 'player', in order to keep her.

My ex swore he'd never ever get married, and then he met me and from what I heard did a complete 180 degree turn. I never made any ultimatums, I never told him how he had to be, but he knew to get with my good stuff he was going to have to bring his "A" game because I don't settle for. anything. period. (and he's my ex because he's dead, not because we're not together)
 
My baby's daddy lol said the reason we are not together because of the timming. He did marry someone else but to be honest everything that happens to us is designed by God.
 
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