eh i don't trust men who refer to women as "females"... he lost me at the introduction to the blog.
e: okay despite this i went ahead and gave him a chance, and i do think he has a useful perspective that a lot of women could benefit from. my problem is not wanting to end things even when i know i'm not going to get what i want out of a relationship or end up where i ultimately want to be. i tend to err on the side of dragging things out because it makes me happy and not want to worry about the consequences. a lot of the things he says makes it easier to understand how men are able to drop something cold and move on with their lives, they just arent capable of experiencing the same range of emotions that women are. i know a lot of women will tell you that's not true and you shouldn't let men off the hook for their emotional unavailability just because they are men, but i have to start following what i know to be true rather than normative advice. he said something about how in most relationships men usually arent emotionally invested and even when they are, it occurs gradually and to a lesser degree.
i have always struggled with feeling more invested in relationships than the guy i am with, and i interpret this as a personal failing on my part. it's like how i knew my relationship with my ex needed to end but i didnt want to do it, and was hurt when he broke up with me instead. at this point i think i need a man who loves me more than i love him because otherwise im not sure i could really feel secure in a relationship.
i read a book once about that kind of love and it made me stop and realise that i didnt feel like i deserved a man who felt that intensely about me. it also helped me to understand i shouldnt settle for anything less than that, and thats why these days i try to break things off, even though i dont want to, if i think that i might be settling.