The gift of singlehood?

[Ladybelle]

I was going to post and explain verse 2. I believe you are reading it incorrectly.

This verse is still not saying to marry to avoid fornication.

It's saying to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband.

There is a difference. Verse 2 means a man and woman shall have "no one else" and should "only have each other". If a man and woman is going to get married, they must not fornicate, cheat, or commit adultery.

To me it's pretty clear, but it's okay for us to interpret differently and/or disagree.

I mean, heaven forbid God instructed us to marry to avoid having sex outside of marriage. That would be assinine wouldn't it?

 

[Ladybelle]

Christian marriages are falling apart in large part, because people are CHOOSING to run away from their development! Marriage is a lifelong commitment and challenges the very core of self...a refinemenet process I believe will help us truly reflect the image of God. I also believe one can achieve this level in singlehood by the power of the Holy Spirit if that is their choice..God will gift that person with the ability to not sin against Him,

Don't fool yourself into believing sex is JUST physical. That's one of the biggest lies the devil ever told. Amein~

That is true, and in my opinon people viewing sex as just "sex" is one of the reasons marriage doesn't hold the esteem or respect it used to.

 

[Ladybelle]

Yes, contained right in scriptures. And why the admonition? Because of our innate human nature to desire to have sex. Man is the higher created being and can therefore, control his passions. That is not an easy task and the solution for many is to marry and bring his sexuality under submission to the will of the Father which is the sexual experience through marriage. Fidelity to G-d, fidelity to spouse...the human family being the microcosm of the heavenly family relationship.

The bible also goes to tell married people to not hold back sex from their partners:


I Corinthians 7: 1-7

7:1 Now with regard to the issues you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of immoralities, each man should have relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband. 3 A husband should give to his wife her sexual rights, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4 It is not the wife who has the rights to her own body, but the husband. In the same way, it is not the husband who has the rights to his own body, but the wife. 5 Do not deprive each other, except by mutual agreement for a specified time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then resume your relationship, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that everyone was as I am. But each has his own gift from God, one this way, another that.

It's not that complicated to me, sex serves a purpose in marriage. It's not the be all & end of marriage but it certainly has it's place. We can deal in extremes and say "what if" but that does not change God's design for sex in a marriage. A man is supposed to provide, but what if he becomes handicapped? The extreme illustrations are not the normal and are the exception to God's design for the thing.

The act of sex itself is supposed to be a covenant, when a virginal woman has sex with her husband for the first time her hymen is broken and the blood is symbolic of the covenant now made between them. If one researches other covenant relationships in the bible, you will see the same type of example. Even those who take communion, the wine is symbolic of the blood of Jesus and we are drinking it to remember our covenant with Christ.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

True BUT lets keep it real, God created sex and the desire for it so who are you to say it's NOT on his priority list? He created Eve after he saw how lonely Adam was so...............I'm just saying

What exactly ARE you saying here? The Word doesn't say He created Eve so that Adam could have sex. It said because he was lonely. How do you ascertain sex from that? That's reaching.

I can't believe how people are using scripture to justify their feelings concerning sex. Nowhere in the Word does it say sex is a PRIORITY from God's view with respect to marriage. Nowhere. In fact, I would argue that sex is downplayed to an extent and treated as something that you should do in the confines of marriage if you just can't contain yourself. God's heart towards matters in general can be found in the Word. We don't have to question anything. And God didn't create sexual desire as a prequel to marriage.

 

[makeupgirl]

Christian marriages are falling apart in large part, because people are CHOOSING to run away from their development! Marriage is a lifelong commitment and challenges the very core of self...a refinemenet process I believe will help us truly reflect the image of God. I also believe one can achieve this level in singlehood by the power of the Holy Spirit if that is their choice..God will gift that person with the ability to not sin against Him,

Don't fool yourself into believing sex is JUST physical. That's one of the biggest lies the devil ever told. Amein~

thank you Laela for this. the devil is very tricky and this is just one of his ways to trick anyone by saying that sex is just physical. Sex is emotional and physical.

 

[makeupgirl]

What exactly ARE you saying here? The Word doesn't say He created Eve so that Adam could have sex. It said because he was lonely. How do you ascertain sex from that? That's reaching.

I can't believe how people are using scripture to justify their feelings concerning sex. Nowhere in the Word does it say sex is a PRIORITY from God's view with respect to marriage. Nowhere. In fact, I would argue that sex is downplayed to an extent and treated as something that you should do in the confines of marriage if you just can't contain yourself. God's heart towards matters in general can be found in the Word. We don't have to question anything. And God didn't create sexual desire as a prequel to marriage.

I believe that God created Eve to be a helpmeet for Adam, since he said "it is not good for man to be alone" Obviously Adam and Eve had sex based on the fact that Gen 4 says that they knew each other (aka they had sex, made love) and since that is one of the ways children can be conceived. Yeah! Sex within the marriage whelm is a form of worship unto God, especially since its being done with the way it was designed to be which is within marriage bed. I would have to ask God himself if he did or did not create sexual desire as a prequel to marriage. The desire could be a combination of God's desire for us that is natural but also the desire that Satan has influenced which is undefiled sexual immorality. I mean obviously sex is not a gray area. We have plenty of STD's because of sexual immorality. It doesn't take a PHD to figure that out. It's best to get married to quench that burning desire, than to act on impulse and do whatever that is immoral to get that physical release. Maybe this is what Paul was saying in 1 Cor 7.

 

[Poohbear]

Don't fool yourself into believing sex is JUST physical. That's one of the biggest lies the devil ever told. Amein~[/SIZE][/FONT]

That is true, and in my opinon people viewing sex as just "sex" is one of the reasons marriage doesn't hold the esteem or respect it used to.

thank you Laela for this. the devil is very tricky and this is just one of his ways to trick anyone by saying that sex is just physical. Sex is emotional and physical.

Laela, Ladybelle, makeupgirl,

This isn't something the devil told me. I'm saying sex is physical in the sense that you use your physical bodies in order to commit a sexual act, whether you are married or not.

The soul is the only thing that is spiritual. The soul is asexual meaning that it does not experience sexual attraction. Do you really think after we die, we'll be up in heaven having spiritual sex with our husbands? I don't think so. Our minds, our hearts, our emotions, our psych, all that has to do with our earthly bodies.

And I did not say "sex is just sex". It affects us physically and in an earthly sense, but not spiritually. You can suffer consequences of sex whether you are married or not. You can contract an STD and die whether you have premarital sex or whether wait to be a virgin to get married.

Marriage does not hold the esteem or respect it used to because people simply do not take marriage seriously, not necessarily because of their views on sex. Some people get all wrapped up in the wedding and feelings without seeing that a marriage is really a serious, devoted, life-long commitment between a man and woman. Marriage entails so much more than sex. That's the point I was really trying to make.

 

[Poohbear]

To me it's pretty clear, but it's okay for us to interpret differently and/or disagree.

I mean, heaven forbid God instructed us to marry to avoid having sex outside of marriage. That would be assinine wouldn't it?

Ladybelle

You're right that it's okay to have different views. These are just my thoughts on those verses.

I just heard too many people add "in lust" after the verse "It's better to marry than to burn". The Bible does not say "burn in lust". That's people's interpretation, but if they read before that, it just really means burn in their unmarried or widowed state.

But I do agree with you that sex does have it's place in marriages and I feel sex is important in marriages, just not the only thing that single people should be concerned with in their desire to get married.

 

[Poohbear]

What exactly ARE you saying here? The Word doesn't say He created Eve so that Adam could have sex. It said because he was lonely. How do you ascertain sex from that? That's reaching.

I can't believe how people are using scripture to justify their feelings concerning sex. Nowhere in the Word does it say sex is a PRIORITY from God's view with respect to marriage. Nowhere. In fact, I would argue that sex is downplayed to an extent and treated as something that you should do in the confines of marriage if you just can't contain yourself. God's heart towards matters in general can be found in the Word. We don't have to question anything. And God didn't create sexual desire as a prequel to marriage.

nathansgirl1908

Good point here! Before Adam and Eve had knowledge of good and evil, they were a married couple that had no thought of sex. Adam just needed a companion or a helper. That's what being a wife really is all about in a marriage.

Adam and Eve didn't have sex until after the Fall of Man (when they first sinned in the Garden of Eden). That's when they gave birth to Cain and Abel.

 

[Ladybelle]

@Laela, @Ladybelle, @makeupgirl,

This isn't something the devil told me. I'm saying sex is physical in the sense that you use your physical bodies in order to commit a sexual act, whether you are married or not.

The soul is the only thing that is spiritual. The soul is asexual meaning that it does not experience sexual attraction. Do you really think after we die, we'll be up in heaven having spiritual sex with our husbands? I don't think so. Our minds, our hearts, our emotions, our psych, all that has to do with our earthly bodies.

And I did not say "sex is just sex". It affects us physically and in an earthly sense, but not spiritually. You can suffer consequences of sex whether you are married or not. You can contract an STD and die whether you have premarital sex or whether wait to be a virgin to get married.

Marriage does not hold the esteem or respect it used to because people simply do not take marriage seriously, not necessarily because of their views on sex. Some people get all wrapped up in the wedding and feelings without seeing that a marriage is really a serious, devoted, life-long commitment between a man and woman. Marriage entails so much more than sex. That's the point I was really trying to make.

No disrespect, but I think you are wrong.

Plenty of things we do with our bodies affect us spiritually. We curse with our mouths, we take drugs with our mouths, we kill with our hands, we overeat, we lie, we steal, and the list goes on and on. These things done with our physical bodies affect us spiritually. In fact we get can get so spiritually dirty from our physical & emotional acts, that we have to ask God to Renew in us a Clean heart (Psalm 51:10). Or do you disagree with that too?

And, I'm not sure what bible you are reading or if you just choose not to see it but the bible does talk about SEX in marriage & the relevance of it. In fact, he tells husband & wives not to withold themselves from each other unless for fasting or both of them agree to it, he talks about the marriage bed being undefiled, he instructs those of us who can't abstain to marry and don't get me started on the Songs of Solomon, this book itself is like a Christian Zane novel!!

I think you-- and I say this as gently as I know how and with no ill intent, are doing yourself a disservice to think God didn't design sex for a reason and with a purpose in marriage.

I can only speak from my own experience, my own understanding and beliefs but sex is very spiritual, or is supposed to be. I'm gonna think about it somemore and see if I can explain it better.

where's @Shimmie when you need her?

 

[LucieLoo12]

@Ladybelle

You're right that it's okay to have different views. These are just my thoughts on those verses.

I just heard too many people add "in lust" after the verse "It's better to marry than to burn". The Bible does not say "burn in lust". That's people's interpretation, but if they read before that, it just really means burn in their unmarried or widowed state.

But I do agree with you that sex does have it's place in marriages and I feel sex is important in marriages, just not the only thing that single people should be concerned with in their desire to get married.

So preaching! You can have that "good sex" in marriage and that rascal treat you horrible! Sex is important but why has that been the only aspect of a marriage pointed out, or alot empahsis has been placed on? We relate sex to intimacy but its more than that. its a form of intimacy but its not the core of intimacy. Intimacy is when my husband can know whats going on with me without me even having to speak a word. He would just know me that well... Someone thats a bestfriend to me and someone who can desire me for more than just a sex partner, and when he looks at me he dont just think "Man I wanna sex her", but he thinks, "Man this precious jewel belongs to me"... I know it may sound corny but I want someone who not only admires me physically but spiritually as well

 

[Ladybelle]

So preaching! You can have that "good sex" in marriage and that rascal treat you horrible! Sex is important but why has that been the only aspect of a marriage pointed out, or alot empahsis has been placed on? We relate sex to intimacy but its more than that. its a form of intimacy but its not the core of intimacy. Intimacy is when my husband can know whats going on with me without me even having to speak a word. He would just know me that well... Someone thats a bestfriend to me and someone who can desire me for more than just a sex partner, and when he looks at me he dont just think "Man I wanna sex her", but he thinks, "Man this precious jewel belongs to me"... I know it may sound corny but I want someone who not only admires me physically but spiritually as well

I agree. I don't know how the conversation began to focus on sex.

Of course it's not the only thing to focus on. Absolutely not, I agree with that. But, there' nothing wrong with sex being on your priority list. It's okay for us to be specific in our prayers. "Lord, I want a husband after your own heart, who's faithful, responsible, caring and good in bed... ". Is it a sin to want good sex in your marriage? I think that's where the disagreement came in.

 

[LucieLoo12]

Ladybelle-Poohbear isnt saying sex isnt important at all, she is just saying marriage is made up of more compenents than sex. She is saying that sex isnt the foundation of someone's marriage

No disrespect, but I think you are wrong.

Plenty of things we do with our bodies affect us spiritually. We curse with our mouths, we take drugs with our mouths, we kill with our hands, we overeat, we lie, we steal, and the list goes on and on. These things done with our physical bodies affect us spiritually. In fact we get can get so spiritually dirty from our physical & emotional acts, that we have to ask God to Renew in us a Clean heart (Psalm 51:10). Or do you disagree with that too?

And, I'm not sure what bible you are reading or if you just choose not to see it but the bible does talk about SEX in marriage & the relevance of it. In fact, he tells husband & wives not to withold themselves from each other unless for fasting or both of them agree to it, he talks about the marriage bed being undefiled, he instructs those of us who can't abstain to marry and don't get me started on the Songs of Solomon, this book itself is like a Christian Zane novel!!

I think you-- and I say this as gently as I know how and with no ill intent, are doing yourself a disservice to think God didn't design sex for a reason and with a purpose in marriage.

I can only speak from my own experience, my own understanding and beliefs but sex is very spiritual, or is supposed to be. I'm gonna think about it somemore and see if I can explain it better.

where's @Shimmie when you need her?

 

[Ladybelle]

@Ladybelle-Poohbear isnt saying sex isnt important at all, she is just saying marriage is made up of more compenents than sex. She is saying that sex isnt the foundation of someone's marriage

Why are you yelling at me though?? Me no like that.


I see that now, I read that after I had already posted my response. So, my apologies to Poohbear for my misreading.

We agree on that part. Marriage is made up of waaaaay more components than sex, that's for doggone sure!

 

[LucieLoo12]

I wouldnt say its a sin, but if I get someone that is after God's own heart, faithful and responsible, but he not's that good in bed, does that mean I got a bad husband.? NO.I'm not going to base my husband's worth or value on his sexual skills. When u enter into a marriage, yall have to learn each other and if he dont please you sexually, thats something that you may have to teach him. and vice versa, you may not be that sexually appeasing to him as well,you wouldnt want him to disregard you for that..I'm just saying......

I agree. I don't know how the conversation began to focus on sex.

Of course it's not the only thing to focus on. Absolutely not, I agree with that. But, there' nothing wrong with sex being on your priority list. It's okay for us to be specific in our prayers. "Lord, I want a husband after your own heart, who's faithful, responsible, caring and good in bed... ". Is it a sin to want good sex in your marriage? I think that's where the disagreement came in.

 

[LucieLoo12]

lol!! Im sorry, that wasnt my intention to seem like I was yelling!! Sorry, I just like the big font.!!!

Why are you yelling at me though?? Me no like that.


I see that now, I read that after I had already posted my response. So, my apologies to Poohbear for my misreading.

We agree on that part. Marriage is made up of waaaaay more components than sex, that's for doggone sure!

 

[Ladybelle]

I wouldnt say its a sin, but if I get someone that is after God's own heart, faithful and responsible, but he not's that good in bed, does that mean I got a bad husband.? NO.I'm not going to base my husband's worth or value on his sexual skills. When u enter into a marriage, yall have to learn each other and if he dont please you sexually, thats something that you may have to teach him. and vice versa, you may not be that sexually appeasing to him as well,you wouldnt want him to disregard you for that..I'm just saying......

No prob. I see what you're saying and I would agree with that also.

 

[Poohbear]

No disrespect, but I think you are wrong.

Plenty of things we do with our bodies affect us spiritually. We curse with our mouths, we take drugs with our mouths, we kill with our hands, we overeat, we lie, we steal, and the list goes on and on. These things done with our physical bodies affect us spiritually. In fact we get can get so spiritually dirty from our physical & emotional acts, that we have to ask God to Renew in us a Clean heart (Psalm 51:10). Or do you disagree with that too?

And, I'm not sure what bible you are reading or if you just choose not to see it but the bible does talk about SEX in marriage & the relevance of it. In fact, he tells husband & wives not to withold themselves from each other unless for fasting or both of them agree to it, he talks about the marriage bed being undefiled, he instructs those of us who can't abstain to marry and don't get me started on the Songs of Solomon, this book itself is like a Christian Zane novel!!

I think you-- and I say this as gently as I know how and with no ill intent, are doing yourself a disservice to think God didn't design sex for a reason and with a purpose in marriage.

I can only speak from my own experience, my own understanding and beliefs but sex is very spiritual, or is supposed to be. I'm gonna think about it somemore and see if I can explain it better.

where's Shimmie when you need her?

Ladybelle,

Ut oh, team Shimmie here. Shimmie is not God people!!! I do NOT need Shimmie's interpretation on this matter.

I did NOT say God didn't design sex for marriage. Geez. I believe he did! I believe sex should only be between a husband and wife. You're just completely missing my point.

And all that stuff you mentioned about cursing, taking drugs, eating, etc is all done with our physical bodies.

By the way, withholding from your husband or wife doesn't always mean sex either.

And the Song of Solomon, they were admiring the beauty in each other. It wasn't just sexual related. You can admire the beauty in someone and not be sexually attracted to them.

But anyway, I just have a different view about our spiritual than others here and in real life. Don't get me started on the sinning Christian concept again. I just feel like we are both physical and spiritual beings. There is a physical and spiritual realm. So to me, there's a difference in physical sin and spiritual sin.

Physical sin is what we do wrong in our physical bodies. Physical sin ends in physical death meaning our bodies will eventually die and suffer earthly consequences as we are living. The physical is only temporary.

Spiritual sin is thinking that what you do physically can either please or displease God or determine your spiritual salvation. So whatever we do in our physical bodies cannot please or displease God spiritually. However, what we do in the physical can please or displease God physically, hence our receipt of physical blessings or curses.

 

[Ladybelle]

@Ladybelle,

Ut oh, team Shimmie here. Shimmie is not God people!!! I do NOT need Shimmie's interpretation on this matter.

I did NOT say God didn't design sex for marriage. Geez. I believe he did! I believe sex should only be between a husband and wife. You're just completely missing my point.

And all that stuff you mentioned about cursing, taking drugs, eating, etc is all done with our physical bodies.

By the way, withholding from your husband or wife doesn't always mean sex either.

And the Song of Solomon, they were admiring the beauty in each other. It wasn't just sexual related. You can admire the beauty in someone and not be sexually attracted to them.

But anyway, I just have a different view about our spiritual than others here and in real life. Don't get me started on the sinning Christian concept again. I just feel like we are both physical and spiritual beings. There is a physical and spiritual realm. So to me, there's a difference in physical sin and spiritual sin.

Physical sin is what we do wrong in our physical bodies. Physical sin ends in physical death meaning our bodies will eventually die and suffer earthly consequences as we are living. The physical is only temporary.

Spiritual sin is thinking that what you do physically can either please or displease God or determine your spiritual salvation. So whatever we do in our physical bodies cannot please or displease God spiritually. However, what we do in the physical can please or displease God physically, hence our receipt of physical blessings or curses.

You're not team Shimmie?? I can't believe that. I kid, I kid.

I saw your point AFTER I had already responded, so my bad.

And, although I agree with some of your points, we still disagree on others and that's okay.

I believe that what we do in the physical can very well affect our spiritual beings & vice versa. But, I'm no master theologian or anything, so no one has to take my word for anything. In fact, God tells us to prove every man a liar & search the scriptures for ourselves.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

ITA ..........

I can only speak from my own experience, my own understanding and beliefs but sex is very spiritual, or is supposed to be. I'm gonna think about it somemore and see if I can explain it better.

where's @Shimmie when you need her?

 

[Laela]

Remember when God blessed man in Genesis and told them to "be fruitful and multiply?" That's why....the matrix (womb) is the entrance for us to come to earth, from the father, to make way for Him (Jesus) after the fall of man.

We were created in the middle of a war and this thing is deeper than we may think or care to admit.

Genesis 1
26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” 27 So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

So preaching! You can have that "good sex" in marriage and that rascal treat you horrible! Sex is important but why has that been the only aspect of a marriage pointed out, or alot empahsis has been placed on? We relate sex to intimacy but its more than that. its a form of intimacy but its not the core of intimacy. Intimacy is when my husband can know whats going on with me without me even having to speak a word. He would just know me that well... Someone thats a bestfriend to me and someone who can desire me for more than just a sex partner, and when he looks at me he dont just think "Man I wanna sex her", but he thinks, "Man this precious jewel belongs to me"... I know it may sound corny but I want someone who not only admires me physically but spiritually as well

 

[Laela]

where's @Shimmie when you need her?

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

^^I wondered where she was too....

 

[Guitarhero]

.

The act of sex itself is supposed to be a covenant, when a virginal woman has sex with her husband for the first time her hymen is broken and the blood is symbolic of the covenant now made between them. If one researches other covenant relationships in the bible, you will see the same type of example. Even those who take communion, the wine is symbolic of the blood of Jesus and we are drinking it to remember our covenant with Christ.

I agree. Even our rabbi was talking about the symbolism of the pain associated with the deflowering.


To the general discussion:

I don't want anyone to think that anyone here is pushing sex as the sole impetus to desiring marriage, it's part of it. I don't see where anyone has been more concerned about the sex than the relationship itself. Afterall, it's a family in formation. Just saying you like sex does not indicate that you are imbalanced. It depends upon your own psyche and physiology...some are more in-tune with their bodies than others. Some others view sex on a diff. level than others. It's not one way or the highway, or at least, it shouldn't be.

 

[Ladybelle]

I was agreeing with your post.... I certainly understand the communion, we have the transubstantiated one...so for us, it's not symbolic, it actually becomes it. I fully comprehend and was supporting your statements. It was a high-five of sorts with the scripture attached because your post reminded me of it.

We are >>here<<< .

 

[Guitarhero]

^^^I re-edited cuz I posted in haste lol!

 

[nathansgirl1908]

I agree. Even our rabbi was talking about the symbolism of the pain associated with the deflowering.


To the general discussion:

I don't want anyone to think that anyone here is pushing sex as the sole impetus to desiring marriage, it's part of it. I don't see where anyone has been more concerned about the sex than the relationship itself. Afterall, it's a family in formation. Just saying you like sex does not indicate that you are imbalanced. It depends upon your own psyche and physiology...some are more in-tune with their bodies than others. Some others view sex on a diff. level than others. It's not one way or the highway, or at least, it shouldn't be.

You keep saying this, but different posts indicate to ME that sex IS a huge part of it. I'm not going to ignore that when it's staring me in the face.

 

[Guitarhero]

But that's just YOUR interpretation of what one is saying and I think I know why, you are so focused on its irrelevance to life according to how you wish to live out your life. For married's, sex is definitely a huge part of marriage because it's a very intimate form of communication. It's not the only form but there is a divinely-placed space for it there. There's nothing wrong with it. Shrugs.

 

[aribell]

I believe that God created Eve to be a helpmeet for Adam, since he said "it is not good for man to be alone" Obviously Adam and Eve had sex based on the fact that Gen 4 says that they knew each other (aka they had sex, made love) and since that is one of the ways children can be conceived. Yeah! Sex within the marriage whelm is a form of worship unto God, especially since its being done with the way it was designed to be which is within marriage bed. I would have to ask God himself if he did or did not create sexual desire as a prequel to marriage. The desire could be a combination of God's desire for us that is natural but also the desire that Satan has influenced which is undefiled sexual immorality. I mean obviously sex is not a gray area. We have plenty of STD's because of sexual immorality. It doesn't take a PHD to figure that out. It's best to get married to quench that burning desire, than to act on impulse and do whatever that is immoral to get that physical release. Maybe this is what Paul was saying in 1 Cor 7.

This may or may not coincide with what makeupgirl is saying, but it sparked some thoughts for me. Basically the point about Adam in the Garden kinda made it clear to me that Adam's sexual desire was not that which moved God's hand to create Eve. God had a purpose in mind for marriage, but sexual desire was not the impetus for its creation. Now, sex sealed the covenant and enabled Adam and Eve to become one and to produce offspring--so obviously sex is a central bond within marriage; but I think it is important to recognize the difference between something playing a central role in marriage, and seeking marriage in order to experience the pleasure of that thing.

Now, if God's purpose in ordaining marriage was not to fulfill some sexual desire of Adam's, perhaps before praying to the Lord for a spouse we ought to figure out and get on board with what His purpose actually is for marriage, for James says: "...you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures." There may be many pleasures to be had within marriage, but I do not believe that those pleasures ought to be what motivate us to seek it. As far as I understand it, choosing marriage is about choosing to step into God's chosen order, it is a choice to raise godly children as the Lord enables, it is a choice to live out the Lord's established system of authority--which for us women means being under authority, that of our husband, and to work within the Body of Christ. I believe we each have to discern how marriage fits into our Kingdom service and only then approach the Lord about it in supplication.
----------------

I've read Paul's admonition about it being better to marry than to burn as simply recognizing individual weaknesses. But I do not believe that his words were meant to say that it's unavoidable to burn. You do not have to burn with passion. I believe Paul's words are commonsense wisdom, kind of like saying that it's wiser if a dating couple doesn't spend a lot of time alone together in order to avoid sexual impurity--but that doesn't mean that if a dating couple does happen to be alone together than sin is unavoidable. Such a couple would be expected to be stronger than the temptation and to be able to exercise self-control.

I honestly think that we are afraid to allow God to order our inordinate affections. As fallen humans, we are so used to the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life ruling us that we can't really imagine how life would really be if those things weren't dominating our mind, will and emotions. To be able to simply enjoy a good thing without it driving us seems to be so difficult. And people who can honestly say, "If I have it, I'll enjoy it, but if I don't, I'm not moved," others often see as unfeeling or too ascetic.

I believe that many (no one specific) don't want to lay down this passionate burning because of an attachment to the idea of the pleasure it's fulfillment will bring. People (again, no one specific) have a fantasy of how great their life will be and how it will make them feel, and this passionate drive they see as the way to the fulfillment of that fantasy. So they hold on and let it drive them (many times up a wall!).

Nothing should drive us save the Spirit of God. Really. We need to be normal, benign, neutral. In that state, we simply want His will and enjoy whatever good He provides us. Everything is better after it's released to God because then our emotions aren't driven all over the place depending on it.

 

[Mis007]

You said the problem is the whole "finding a man mentality" which women technically should not have cause we are suppose to be found but then you went on to say dating today is very different. In essence, because dating has taken a turn for the worse, woman ARE having to find men cause men are not on the hunt. There are way more women in the church than men so basically you have more Christian women than men meaning less men are following the teachings of the bible and not trying to find wives and live according to the bible. This puts women in a comprismising situation cause they do have to go on the hunt and this is certainly not within God's plan.

I'm about to stir up some controversy here and just keep it real okay......

As much as the feminist movement opened up opportunities for women it also released men of some time honored values and traditions that should not have never gone out of the door. So the feminist movement both helped women and hurt them.

I concur, the feminist movement may have eluded some Black women due to the void that was created by not addressing issues that specifically effect us, our lives and our overall existence.