Texting someone who didnt give you their number?

[NinasLongAmbition]

Okay Im going to summarize this situation as best as I can:

Last week I call my guy cousin to see how he was doing and he told me how his best friend(my childhood/teenage crush) is back in town. His friend moved from florida to the islands about 4 years ago now. I havent seen him since I was 16/17 Im 21 now. Anywho my cousin was telling me how I was the first person he asked about and he was asking him how I was doing. I used to have THE biggest crush on him, it was mutual though, but I mean he was my first kiss, we would be on the phone for hours and we talked throughout the years on and off from the ages of 12to 17. He is 22 now and Im really curious to see how he's been and what he looks like, so I asked my cousin for his number. But I havent acted on it yet, I dont want to seem psycho or despertate since HE didnt personally give me his number.

 

[luvn_life]

................................

 

[blaqueskimo]

I don't think it's a big deal.Just call and say I hope you don't mind I talked to XYZ and he told me you were in town and I asked him for your #, I hope you don't mind.

Also I would CALL. Why do people think it's any different than sending a text?( you're still communicating with him without his invite) If you're bold enough to get his # without him giving it to you, be bold enough to call and say hello.

 

[Dominican09]

I wouldn't recommend texting...I think calling is better.

 

[Filmatic]

I agree if he's been asking about you, go ahead and call. You haven't seen him in years, why text?

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Why didnt your cousin give him your number?

 

[HAIRapy]

I would call him (not text) and act like it's my cousin's (I'm sure your cousin wouldn't mind) fault that I'm calling. I would sweetly say "I spoke to (cousin's name here) who mentioned that you asked about me and said that I should call you. How have you been?" and then take the convo from there.

 

[Makenzie]

Please don't text him - call instead. Catch up with him on the phone, but don't suggest you meet up. Let him do that.

 

[tiara76]

you already know him...you already have an established relationship to him (meaning u guys have related and vibed on certain levels, not that you are a couple)....you know he has inquired about you, you want to inquire about him

call him and see whats up with him

 

[Ramya]

I would call him (not text) and act like it's my cousin's (I'm sure your cousin wouldn't mind) fault that I'm calling. I would sweetly say "I spoke to (cousin's name here) who mentioned that you asked about me and said that I should call you. How have you been?" and then take the convo from there.

This is what I would do as well.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Ooo...gosh, I don't know...

Maybe it's just the "Rules Girl" inside of me, but something tells me that you shouldn't do either (text/call). If he spoke w/your cousin and was asking about you, why didn't your cousin give him YOUR number?? He should be trying to call YOU! Right?? I mean...idk... Let me not try to tell people what to do.

He has enough amunition to call you just like you do. If you still feel like you just have to see him, why don't you ask your guy cousin to "cook something up" to invite him over with some friends, and you just "happen" to be there too?? That way you two can see each other face-to-face, you can judge and see whether or not he's still "all that" (lol!), and then you two can exchange numbers and it can seem like it was totally by chance!

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

You'll also be able to guage and see if the "chemistry" is still there. Sometimes 5 years is a long time! haha

 

[NinasLongAmbition]

Ooo...gosh, I don't know...

Maybe it's just the "Rules Girl" inside of me, but something tells me that you shouldn't do either (text/call). If he spoke w/your cousin and was asking about you, why didn't your cousin give him YOUR number?? He should be trying to call YOU! Right?? I mean...idk... Let me not try to tell people what to do.

He has enough amunition to call you just like you do. If you still feel like you just have to see him, why don't you ask your guy cousin to "cook something up" to invite him over with some friends, and you just "happen" to be there too?? That way you two can see each other face-to-face, you can judge and see whether or not he's still "all that" (lol!), and then you two can exchange numbers and it can seem like it was totally by chance!

Thank you ladies for all your advice!! I think this one is a keeper though, Im not going to call, I'll just so happen to "run" in to him. My best friend was telling me not to because she was like at the end of the day I WOULD be the CHASER and just because he asked my cousin about me doesnt mean much, if he wants to pursue me he would ask for my number or find a way to contact me. So ima just chill.

 

[tiara76]

does that mean u are going to set up something so that you can "run" into him....??? or just wait until u happen to see him somewhere...

 

[NinasLongAmbition]

^ Im going to have to talk to my cousin and have it set up.

 

[vevster]

I hope you have a nice cousin. My cousin is stupid he would say, "She wants to meet you". He would not keep the secret. He is an ***.

 

[Cincysweetie]

I would not contact him, I'd leave that up to him. I can't say I'm a 'Rules' girl but I do try to play by some of the 'Rules' if that makes sense. I think that if he's that interested in how you've been, etc. he can (and should) follow up. The MOST I would have said to my my cuz would've been "tell him I said what's up and it's good to hear he's back in town and doing well." But that's just me.

I don't think it's a big deal.Just call and say I hope you don't mind I talked to XYZ and he told me you were in town and I asked him for your #, I hope you don't mind.

Also I would CALL. Why do people think it's any different than sending a text?( you're still communicating with him without his invite) If you're bold enough to get his # without him giving it to you, be bold enough to call and say hello.

I agree. OP, if you decide to contact him I would not advise texting unless that's your preferred method of communication. When women start a conversation by texting and/or accepting text as the main method of communication, that sets the tone for future communication. I have a friend who is ALWAYS texting a guy, yet stays complaining about how guys will never call her but hold a 3-hour text convo. That's because she has accepted that as a form of communication by starting and continuing convos that way. It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks so you train him right from the beginning. Now if you prefer that method...have at it! Me, if I'm interested in the guy and he's a texter, I politely say something like "I'm sorry, but I'm not a fan of text messaging so if you want to continue the conversation we'll have to do it over the phone." If he continues to text, I simply don't respond. They usually get the picture.

 

[Princess4real]

Ooo...gosh, I don't know...

Maybe it's just the "Rules Girl" inside of me, but something tells me that you shouldn't do either (text/call).If he spoke w/your cousin and was asking about you, why didn't your cousin give him YOUR number?? He should be trying to call YOU! Right?? I mean...idk... Let me not try to tell people what to do.

He has enough amunition to call you just like you do. If you still feel like you just have to see him, why don't you ask your guy cousin to "cook something up" to invite him over with some friends, and you just "happen" to be there too?? That way you two can see each other face-to-face, you can judge and see whether or not he's still "all that" (lol!), and then you two can exchange numbers and it can seem like it was totally by chance!

Good advice!!! I mean people telling you to call, what if he has a girl and him asking about you was simply out of curiosity and nothing more? That move could be so embarrassing!

 

[glamazon386]

Don't text him first. It's very impersonal for a first contact. I hate when people do that to me. Call him and just say hey I hope you don't mind but I got your number from so and so. I just wanted to catch up and see how you were doing or something to that effect. You two were friends it's not like you're calling up some random man you're trying to holla at or don't know. Make sure you keep it strictly platonic/friendly until you figure out what the situation is. That way if he doesn't bite, you won't feel stupid and he won't know what your intention was.