Texting etiquette question . . .

Silkycoils

Silkycoils

Well-Known Member
So I am trying online dating . . .again. I'm on black people meet. I gave this guy my number. He texts me today for the first time at 6:47 a.m. Would y'all find that disrespectful/impolite? I would not ever text someone that early, unless we had a close relationship like that or maybe an emergency (but then I would just call). Two of my friends say I'm being too strict. I didn't go off on him, I just replied back "Bruh . . . ." :lachen:

One of my friends said just simply respond when I was ready, and that he'd get the hint after a few times. I think that's good advice, but I was simply appalled that he would text me at that hour. :lachen:

I guess I just expect people to have a certain amount of respect for people's boundaries, especially when just getting to know someone. Anywho . . .I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts (might request to delete this later :lachen: ).
 
I wouldn’t chop his head off. I agree with one of your friends who said just respond when you’re ready and he’ll learn. If he’s the type of wierdo that gets upset that you didn’t immediately respond to his text then virtually punch him in the throat and let him go lol.
 
TrulyBlessed said:
I wouldn’t chop his head off. I agree with one of your friends who said just respond when you’re ready and he’ll learn. If he’s the type of wierdo that gets upset that you didn’t immediately respond to his text then virtually punch him in the throat and let him go lol.
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Thanks for your response. :) He never responded to my "Bruh" response. :lachen: I just wanted to know if I was tripping.
 
awhyley said:
I'm wondering when you forwarded the number because texting first thing on a Monday morning for a discussion is weird if it's a work day, or was it one of those 'good morning beautiful' texts? (btw 6.47am isn't that early, but I'm a morning person)
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I sent him my number on the app yesterday. My other friend said the same thing about being an early riser. I just thought (still think) it's improper. It was a "Good morning" text telling me to save his number. I was up getting ready, but I was surprised at the early hour. (shrug) My younger Son (who gives me lots of advice :lachen: ) said that I should wait to judge him by his character. It's too late now. :look: :lachen: *sigh* I just want to meet a gentleman.
 
Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses and for not judging me too harshly. :) I'll admit that because I've dealt with some garbage men in my past (and because there are still plenty of garbage men our here), my boundaries are firmly in place. It's "too late" for this one :look: (I blocked him on the app, but I didn't block his number), but I'll just charge it to the game. I appreciate you all. :)
 
I really don’t think 6:47am is that early, and it’s certainly not in the booty call/I’m up stroking my penis and thinking of you hours.

I’m not seeing the disrespect of this. Just reply when you’re ready, or tell him you aren’t usually up and running that early. Telling him off over this is unnecessary and extra.
 
Theresamonet said:
I really don’t think 6:47am is that early, and it’s certainly not in the booty call/I’m up stroking my penis and thinking of you hours.

I’m not seeing the disrespect of this. Just reply when you’re ready, or tell him you aren’t usually up and running that early. Telling him off over this is unnecessary and extra.
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I didn't tell him off, but my friend said the "Bruh" comes off like a scolding, and if I close one eye and squint . . .I can see her point. :lachen:
 
awhyley said:
You can still smooth that over if you act fast. Unblock and explain. You might be throwing away a good one.
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I tried, but you can't unblock on the site. I suppose I could text him and explain that I wasn't really up yet, but is it even worth it? My younger Son (he is really a great resource :lachen:) said to just charge it to the game. Also, he's 5'9" and I'm 5'11" as an FYI. :look:

ETA: When he first messaged me, he said he usually has height requirements, but that he liked my profile. I told him, "Same." :lachen:

ETA again: Ha! I texted him and he responded! :lachen: This will be an exercise in using my feminine charms and not being so quick to "scorch the Earth." Thanks everyone. :) Of course I'll keep you all posted if anything develops. :look:
 
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I have had a 10 to 10 rule my entire adult life. I do not take personal calls before 10AM or after 10PM unless someone is dead or dying. Folks get an explanation the first time they do it. If they do it again cussing out ensues. I have not had to tell nobody a third time. People who are calling about money in my pocket get more flexibility. But "WYD" at 8AM is some nonsense.

Texts - I don't care so much cuz my phone is on silent. I'll see it when I see it. I know some people have loud alerts so that going off early would be ire inducing. I understand doing the coy flirty thing but if the time of his text is as irritating to you as it sounds then I wouldn't leave this to hinting.

ETA - I see you done already Grand Opening/Grand Closed on dude. Oh well.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
I have had a 10 to 10 rule my entire adult life. I do not take personal calls before 10AM or after 10PM unless someone is dead or dying. Folks get an explanation the first time they do it. If they do it again cussing out ensues. I have not had to tell nobody a third time. People who are calling about money in my pocket get more flexibility. But "WYD" at 8AM is some nonsense.

Texts - I don't care so much cuz my phone is on silent. I'll see it when I see it. I know some people have loud alerts so that going off early would be ire inducing. I understand doing the coy flirty thing but if the time of his text is as irritating to you as it sounds then I wouldn't leave this to hinting.

ETA - I see you done already Grand Opening/Grand Closed on dude. Oh well.
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I reopened. I do have my guards up (justifiably so), but I need to learn to play the game better.
 
-This might come across antiquated, but try to wean him out of texting you at all. When now-DH was auditioning to be a boyfriend, I didn’t accept long conversations via text (we are late 20s, early 30s btw ).Texting is honestly symbolic of low-effort for me, so requiring a phone conversation took some men out of the running who didn’t want to make an effort.
-Consider a different website to broaden the pool. :look: I wasn’t an extensive online dater, but I do remember that particular site being full of undesirables.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
See, I'm in here tryna be all encouraging but them "Good Morning Beautiful" texts at ungodly hours usually come about because nature called and dudes got time while they sitting on the pot to copy and paste to the roster.
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I'm not going to tell y'all about that time. I got a "Good morning beautiful" text 11 years after we last spoke (well, the day prior made 11 years). I straight up asked him, "What the fudgesicle do you want?!" :lachen: I was nice when he reached out the first day, but when he came the next day with that foolishness, I lost all of my manners. :look: I met him on Myspace. :lachen: :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

Whoops, I guess I just did tell y'all about it. :lachen:
 
If it's got you this worked up it's probably not worth the effort but maybe re-examine how much effort you're willing to put into a relationship going forward. Nobody is going to get it right 100% of the time. Once it's clear they're trash then definitely let them go but throwing them all back who do things that annoy you won't get you where you want to be.
 
Silkycoils said:
Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses and for not judging me too harshly. :) I'll admit that because I've dealt with some garbage men in my past (and because there are still plenty of garbage men our here), my boundaries are firmly in place. It's "too late" for this one :look: (I blocked him on the app, but I didn't block his number), but I'll just charge it to the game. I appreciate you all. :)
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It's 2021, New Year with new beginnings. Set your bounds early and stay safe. :yep: I wish you the very best in 'finding' the right one.
 
Silkycoils said:
I reopened. I do have my guards up (justifiably so), but I need to learn to play the game better.
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I’m starting to see everything as an opportunity to practice new skills and learn how to play the game better. Keep us updated. I’m just getting back out there myself and finding that it’s a constant balancing act of maintaining boundaries and being light and carefree. I think the bruh comment was funny :lol:.
 
awhyley said:
I'm wondering when you forwarded the number because texting first thing on a Monday morning for a discussion is weird if it's a work day, or was it one of those 'good morning beautiful' texts? (btw 6.47am isn't that early, but I'm a morning person)
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Yeah I wondered if was eager to talk before the day started. I am very busy during the day, so when I start dating again I could see texting between 6 and 8 am. But, it’s odd for the first communication.
 
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