"Swangin' Hair Like a White (or other race) Girl!"-Do you Take Offense to this?

[camellia]

OOOOOOOOOh!

I wonder why people use HAIR , as a primary factor of "blackness." Hair is just so cosmetic and not a big deal imo (don't shoot my LHCF). Before I joined hair boards, I would have never thought it was this deep to a lot of ladies. Hair was SOOOOO nothing to me. It certainly wasn't a factor to what *I* consider blackness and all that it entails.

I totally agree.

Hair is a big deal here because we're on a hair board and all have a common goal of long hair. I never thought hair was that serious though. I mean, it was important because I wanted it to look nice, but other than for pure vanity, it didn't mean anything to me. Definitely not how I defined myself.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I don't get offended at all. Our hair is our crown and glory. Why shouldn't it be flowy and beautiful. I never believed that my hair was meant to be plastered to my skull. Its just a contemporary expression to me.

See your hair is a prime example of natural hair that can swang. Your hair is like the texture of Rudy's hair from the Huxtable's. Your (and her's) hair looks light and fluffy. Natural hair can be bouncy too .

 

[senimoni]

No I don't get offended but an off shoot of that , that I find sorta funny is that a lot (not all) women by lace fronts and or weaves that have a dramatically different texture then their own hair (relaxed or nature) and feign shock when someone comments they look like they have indian in their family. Not that black woman don't have a range of hair type but the majority of us are not walking around with 3b wavy silky hair so.....but thats just me.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I totally agree.

Hair is a big deal here because we're on a hair board and all have a common goal of long hair. I never thought hair was that serious though. I mean, it was important because I wanted it to look nice, but other than for pure vanity, it didn't mean anything to me. Definitely not how I defined myself.

Basically . It was just like a pair of earrings or the clothes on my back. I joined boards with the intention of just trying to fix my damaged hair. Boy, once I got into the hair world I realized it is a lot deeper for a lot of people than what I thought it was.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

No I don't get offended but an off shoot of that , that I find sorta funny is that a lot (not all) women by lace fronts and or weaves that have a dramatically different texture then their own hair (relaxed or nature) and feign shock when someone comments they look like they have indian in their family. Not that black woman don't have a range of hair type but the majority of us are not walking around with 3b wavy silky hair so.....but thats just me.

So true. I guess it is a shock to their systems.

 

[Bint Yusef]

Oh okay VERY true.

So do you think that sometimes some of the cases of the women who have never seen their natural hair is NOT out of self-hate, but just them molding to what is uniform and what they already know? Some women never dealt with their natural hair (I would fit in this category, besides stretching ) and honestly don't know what to do with it. A lot of black women have never been fully natural before and don't know what to expect. And the unknown freaks them out we all know it is much easier to just stick with what you know.

I see it as exactly that, going with what they/we already know. My problem is why is there an issue when that is challenged, and folks get defensive?


I dont think that a woman who has never had natural hair hates herself or hates being Black, nor do I think having a relaxer erases any of your Blackness. Its become so ingrained and a part of our culture that its truly become our culture. WHY? and definitely HOW?

When I was relaxed I did not hate myself and I wasnt less Black, hell I went to an HBUC. I loved being Black then (and now) you coudlnt tell me any different. But what does that have to do with challenging the status quo? Are those 2 things not mutually exclusive?

When I was relaxed I was having so many problems with my hair. It was breaking , sheding, and no growth was retained. You know it never crossed my mine to stop perming and see what would happen. It simply never registered on the list of available options, and not because I hated natural hair, but the idea that my hair could be unaltered and okay was just not in my vocabulary. WHY?
I guess my thing is why isnt what grows out of our scalp unaltered not in our collective vocabulary?

You will never be able to convince me at this point in time that Black folks en masse dont have issues when it comes to our aesthetic. Its just way too obvious.

 

[Bint Yusef]

No I don't get offended but an off shoot of that , that I find sorta funny is that a lot (not all) women by lace fronts and or weaves that have a dramatically different texture then their own hair (relaxed or nature) and feign shock when someone comments they look like they have indian in their family. Not that black woman don't have a range of hair type but the majority of us are not walking around with 3b wavy silky hair so.....but thats just me.

Thats a good point as well.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

As long as the implication isn't that black hair equals bad hair, then I see nothing wrong with this. When I was in grade and high school, I was always blatantly told by both whites and blacks that I have "white girl hair" that moved every time I flinched and that bounced and swang as I walked. I was offended when white people said this to me because I thought they were being condescending. But I understood what blacks were saying. This so-called "good hair" equals "white hair" was the implication. We still have a long way to go.

As a natural, I tried to encourage several of my friends to go natural and they were vehemently against the idea. One friend told me that I didn't understand what she went though. Her hair wasn't naturally curly and "good" like mine and so I could "get away with being natural" because my hair wasn't as nappy as hers and most black women. We had countless arguments, and I tried to get her to see that nappy hair *IS* good hair! Yet, I continue to be amazed at how so many black people see nappy hair as bad hair.

 

[cheetarah1980]

I've gotta say that I totally agree with OnaHairQuest. The phrase "swing it like a white girl" isn't necessarily offensive to me, but moreso odd. It seems as though there isn't necessarily a message of "self-hate" in this phrase, but moreso a preference for something that isn't intrinsic to us. There is NOTHING wrong with opting to wear our hair in straighter or curly styles that swing. But it often seems as though many black women feel that is their ONLY option. I spent the majority of my life relaxed and I wanted hair that swung, had body, and life....not because I wanted to imitate white people's hair but because lifeless, greasy, hair that doesn't move is so NOT cute. I was no less black then than I am now.
However, sometimes it seems as though the only image of healthy hair that most black women have is of hair that swings like a white girl. My natural 4b hair will NEVER do that. It will not hang, it will not swing, however that doesn't mean that it's NOT healthy and long. I guess I just find it interesting that so many black women covet an aesthetic that doesn't naturally belong to them and seem to ignore the beauty in aesthetic that is uniquely theirs.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

As long as the implication isn't that black hair equals bad hair, then I see nothing wrong with this. When I was in grade and high school, I was always blatantly told by both whites and blacks that I have "white girl hair" that moved every time I flinched and that bounced and swang as I walked. I was offended when white people said this to me because I thought they were being condescending. But I understood what blacks were saying. This so-called "good hair" equals "white hair" was the implication. We still have a long way to go.

As a natural, I tried to encourage several of my friends to go natural and they were vehemently against the idea. One friend told me that I didn't understand what she went though. Her hair wasn't naturally curly and "good" like mine and so I could "get away with being natural" because my hair wasn't as nappy as hers and most black women. We had countless arguments, and I tried to get her to see that nappy hair *IS* good hair! Yet, I continue to be amazed at how so many black people see nappy hair as bad hair.

Whoa, I don't know how I would take it if a white person said it.erplexed

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I've gotta say that I totally agree with OnaHairQuest. The phrase "swing it like a white girl" isn't necessarily offensive to me, but moreso odd. It seems as though there isn't necessarily a message of "self-hate" in this phrase, but moreso a preference for something that isn't intrinsic to us. There is NOTHING wrong with opting to wear our hair in straighter or curly styles that swing. But it often seems as though many black women feel that is their ONLY option. I spent the majority of my life relaxed and I wanted hair that swung, had body, and life....not because I wanted to imitate white people's hair but because lifeless, greasy, hair that doesn't move is so NOT cute. I was no less black then than I am now.
However, sometimes it seems as though the only image of healthy hair that most black women have is of hair that swings like a white girl. My natural 4b hair will NEVER do that. It will not hang, it will not swing, however that doesn't mean that it's NOT healthy and long. I guess I just find it interesting that so many black women covet an aesthetic that doesn't naturally belong to them and seem to ignore the beauty in aesthetic that is uniquely theirs.

YOU don't think your 4b hair can swang, so you think that that aesthetic does not naturally belong to ALL 4bs? I have seen some 4 bs who only have to comb/pikk out their hair with the right products and yes it is swanging and bouncy. Swangin does not mean that it has to be super stick straight. It just means boucing and swangin. Yes an afro can be bouncin' and swangin too.

 

[Aubergold]

But BLACK hair is not purely cosmetic. It nice and all to say that but It is a big deal to us. There has been SO much academic literature on this b/c it is so deeply rooted in our history.

Anyway, I'm not really offended b/c I know where it comes from so I don't begrudge people when they say that.

Plus I'm not really that impressed with "white hair" right now, its all about the South Asian (indian, pakistani, sri lankan) girls. They have the BOMB hair! lol

ETA: when people say swingin, the connotation automatically means long and straight even tho other types can swing too. It's really all about intention I think.

 

[lovenharmony]

Nope, I wouldn't be offended at all...I can't wait till I can swing it in general!!

 

[newflowers]

Well, when I get to shoulder and below lengths, my hair will be seinging like the black baby girl I am. And I will love it. My Dh will love it. And he loves my black girl butt too.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

But BLACK hair is not purely cosmetic. It nice and all to say that but It is a big deal to us. There has been SO much academic literature on this b/c it is so deeply rooted in our history.

.

I ono RIG, I lub you like a fat kid loves cake but I am going to have to disagree. It didn't become deep until I came here into the hair world like I said earlier. It was honestly so nothing to me and so many people I grew up around.

But maybe it's just my experiences so I can't disagree completely. I know everyone else's experiences are different than mines. Literature also reports high incidence of a lot of things and diseases amongst black people that has nothing to do with me. Not saying it isn't a problem for other people, just not me.

 

[cheetarah1980]

My hair has to be picked out to the nnth degree in order to swing. My twists, twistouts, braids, braidouts...they swing and bounce and such. I'm talking about my hair in it's unmanipulated shrunken state doesn't swing and bounce. It's not stiff it just doesn't move on it's own. My baby brother said it's "squishy."

 

[taraglam2]

But BLACK hair is not purely cosmetic. It nice and all to say that but It is a big deal to us. There has been SO much academic literature on this b/c it is so deeply rooted in our history.

Anyway, I'm not really offended b/c I know where it comes from so I don't begrudge people when they say that.

Plus I'm not really that impressed with "white hair" right now, its all about the South Asian (indian, pakistani, sri lankan) girls. They have the BOMB hair! lol

ETA: when people say swingin, the connotation automatically means long and straight even tho other types can swing too. It's really all about intention I think.

Exactly --- South Asian / Polynesian Islands and the like that is the hair that impresses me.

 

[cheetarah1980]

I get what you're saying LOL, but just because hair wasn't a conscious issue doesn't mean it's not an issue. In so many aspects of daily life people do things without asking why they do them. I didn't ask my mother why she gave me a perm at 6 years old, I just accepted it as what needed to be done in order to style my hair. In fact until I was 24 years old I NEVER questioned why I had to straighten my hair (either pressed or relaxed) because it was just a fact of life. My hair NEEDED to be straightened. It's only when we start asking why we do the things we do to our hair that the issues and politics surrounding black hair come up.
You were very lucky to grow up without being made to feel as though your hair was a problem that needed to be fixed, because a lot of us weren't. However the fact that a large number of black women have NO clue how to manage their natural texture or even know what that natural texture is signals an issue. It's one thing to choose to straighten naturally kinky hair as a styling option, it's totally different to do it out of necessity because the natural texture is foreign.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I get what you're saying LOL, but just because hair wasn't a conscious issue doesn't mean it's not an issue. In so many aspects of daily life people do things without asking why they do them. I didn't ask my mother why she gave me a perm at 6 years old, I just accepted it as what needed to be done in order to style my hair. In fact until I was 24 years old I NEVER questioned why I had to straighten my hair (either pressed or relaxed) because it was just a fact of life. My hair NEEDED to be straightened. It's only when we start asking why we do the things we do to our that the issues and politics surrounding black hair come up.
You were very lucky to grow up without being made to feel as though your hair was a problem that needed to be fixed, because a lot of us weren't. However the fact that a large number of black women have NO clue how to manage their natural texture or even know what that natural texture is signals an issue. It's one thing to choose to straighten naturally kinky hair as a styling option, it's totally different to do it out of necessity because the natural texture is foreign.

I feel your post I really do. I may not necessarily agree, but it's good to see your insight.

 

[Bint Yusef]

The fact that what we do as a whole is a non issuse to most Black folk is THE ISSUE...automatic pilot on questionable practices.

 

[*Happily Me*]

YOU don't think your 4b hair can swang, so you think that that aesthetic does not naturally belong to ALL 4bs? I have seen some 4 bs who only have to comb/pikk out their hair with the right products and yes it is swanging and bouncy. Swangin does not mean that it has to be super stick straight. It just means boucing and swangin. Yes an afro can be bouncin' and swangin too.

true!

i rarely flat iron my hair but it's very bouncy

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

Me and my younger sister argue about natural vs. relaxed all the time!!! She is adamant that everyone CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT go natural. This bothers me to no end.....because I know that if there was no relaxers and flat irons and such...we would all be NATURAL...Hello!!!!

I don't think that we are eradicating blackness through relaxing, however most are not even given the chance to see and or embrace our own natural texture....and this is extremely sad to me. I have yet to see 3 year old white girl with a curly perm.....Why...In my opinion 1. because they are too damn young 2. Because its not something that if forced on them and considered the "right" thing to do as it is in the black community.

Lastly, I have natural hair and when I flat iron it, it moves bounces, shakes and swings like no other...even more so then when I had a relaxer. It bothers me when my friends, line sisters, and family members say I wish my hair was like that...it looks like you have a perm (relaxer)...Honestly I want to say "Why don't you cut that Sh*t off and give it a try, you never know it might just work out for you!!!!!)

Again I'm not against relaxing, I'm even considering it due to my heat damage....I guess my point is why don't more black women give their natural hair a shot..............................Which I know has absolutely nothing to do with the question at hand...I'm sorry.. and I do not get offended when people say...your hair is swangin' like a white girls!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LaReyna756]

My AA friend was trying out a new stylist. When she went in for her appointment, the white stylist told her that when she was done with her hair, it would look like a white girl's. My friend was offended by this comment and got up and left. I would have been upset too.

For those that were comfortable with statements like these, would it make a difference if the comment were coming from someone of a different race?

 

[LocksOfLuV]

My AA friend was trying out a new stylist. When she went in for her appointment, the white stylist told her that when she was done with her hair, it would look like a white girl's. My friend was offended by this comment and got up and left. I would have been upset too.

For those that were comfortable with statements like these, would it make a difference if the comment were coming from someone of a different race?

For me it would. I can't explain it. It's just different. I can't believe that stylist said that to her.

 

[PinkPeony]

But BLACK hair is not purely cosmetic. It nice and all to say that but It is a big deal to us. There has been SO much academic literature on this b/c it is so deeply rooted in our history.

Anyway, I'm not really offended b/c I know where it comes from so I don't begrudge people when they say that.

Plus I'm not really that impressed with "white hair" right now, its all about the South Asian (indian, pakistani, sri lankan) girls. They have the BOMB hair! lol

ETA: when people say swingin, the connotation automatically means long and straight even tho other types can swing too. It's really all about intention I think.

ITA> with your whole post.
Pre-LHCF I've never heard that saying it sounds strange to me but I'm not really mad at people when they say it.
And indian,pakistani hair and so on is the bomb for me.
In particular the one that's not stickstraight either

 

[*Happily Me*]

Me and my younger sister argue about natural vs. relaxed all the time!!! She is adamant that everyone CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT go natural. This bothers me to no end.....because I know that if there was no relaxers and flat irons and such...we would all be NATURAL...Hello!!!!

I don't think that we are eradicating blackness through relaxing, however most are not even given the chance to see and or embrace our own natural texture....and this is extremely sad to me. I have yet to see 3 year old white girl with a curly perm.....Why...In my opinion 1. because they are too damn young 2. Because its not something that if forced on them and considered the "right" thing to do as it is in the black community.

Lastly, I have natural hair and when I flat iron it, it moves bounces, shakes and swings like no other...even more so then when I had a relaxer. It bothers me when my friends, line sisters, and family members say I wish my hair was like that...it looks like you have a perm (relaxer)...Honestly I want to say "Why don't you cut that Sh*t off and give it a try, you never know it might just work out for you!!!!!)

Again I'm not against relaxing, I'm even considering it due to my heat damage....I guess my point is why don't more black women give their natural hair a shot..............................Which I know has absolutely nothing to do with the question at hand...I'm sorry.. and I do not get offended when people say...your hair is swangin' like a white girls!!!!!!!!!!!

I argue the opposite. everyone shouldn't relax. Some people look better with textured hair.

 

[Radianthealth]

I am not offended by the statement but it can be misinterpreted as wanting what is best (swinging long hair) and what white (or other race) girls have is best

If a person from another race said something like the stylist said to another poster, I would feel uncomfortable it would be like that person was affirming the belief that white or other race hair that is swinging and long is better and something that I should aspire to.

But we all want to be beautiful so what can you do.

 

[PinkPeony]

For me it would. I can't explain it. It's just different. I can't believe that stylist said that to her.

Do you remember the white girl I told you once about?
She was tanning alot and got a perm so she could claim to be black or at least biracial?
my gf and I laughed about her so much and we padded ourselves on the shoulder b/c the *crazy white girls* were tryna to be just like us but they could never quite *get it* right.

I just thought about something... maybe alot of white people think the same when they see us.
Maybe we with our swing-it-like-a-yt-girl hair is to them what this girl was to my gf and me.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Do you remember the white girl I told you once about?
She was tanning alot and got a perm so she could claim to be black or at least biracial?
my gf and I laughed about her so much and we padded ourselves on the shoulder b/c the *crazy white girls* were tryna to be just like us but they could never quite *get it* right.

I just thought about something... maybe alot of white people think the same when they see us.
Maybe we with our swing-it-like-a-yt-girl hair is to them what this girl was to my gf and me.

True true true! I never thought of it like that.

 

[The Girl]

you ALREADY know

Narly dude