Successful relationships that started as an affair??

stinastina said:
I think what goes around, comes around. And regardless of whether the relationship lasts 100 years or not, they both know one thing for sure about each other: they are liars and cheaters.
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So what did the first wife do to earn what "came around" to her? This is why I never agree with the Karma ***** reasoning that abounds. If a woman marries a man, is monogamous, is the long suffering wife and, still, he cheats or leaves, etc. What did she do for that to come around?

Perhaps what the newly formed couple knows is that their mate lied and cheated. Thank God that all the things I've done are not permanent characteristics. :yep:

p1
 
i think it is really more than that most men dont just jump ship and say let me get with my mistress. The initial relationship definitely had some issues because no one just meets a girl dumps the wife and starts a new family especially with kids involved.
Or do they? I think not
 
patient1 said:
So what did the first wife do to earn what "came around" to her? This is why I never agree with the Karma ***** reasoning that abounds. If a woman marries a man, is monogamous, is the long suffering wife and, still, he cheats or leaves, etc. What did she do for that to come around?

Perhaps what the newly formed couple knows is that their mate lied and cheated. Thank God that all the things I've done are not permanent characteristics. :yep:

p1
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amen sister....this things are so complicated....Angie and Brad get ripped to shreds but if they last 50 years, you know who they will be...the "saintly" Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward whose affair began when he was still married with children. I'm just glad this ain't my situation...cause somebody would be getting cut :yep::nono::ohwell::lachen:
 
patient1 said:
So what did the first wife do to earn what "came around" to her? This is why I never agree with the Karma ***** reasoning that abounds. If a woman marries a man, is monogamous, is the long suffering wife and, still, he cheats or leaves, etc. What did she do for that to come around?
Perhaps what the newly formed couple knows is that their mate lied and cheated. Thank God that all the things I've done are not permanent characteristics. :yep:

p1
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In my opinion, Karma and having bad things happen to good people are two different things. I can have someone harm me and my intention and actions have always been good. Bad things can happen to good people unfortunately, Karma is not apart of that.

Karma happens when you knowingly and intentionally do harm and your actions will reap upon you in another form.

If the first wife had someone harm her, Karma WILL happen to her spouse/and misstress.
 
Uwrong said:
i think it is really more than that most men dont just jump ship and say let me get with my mistress. The initial relationship definitely had some issues because no one just meets a girl dumps the wife and starts a new family especially with kids involved.Or do they? I think not
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EVERY relationship has issues. You are either getting out of an issue or resting until another comes up...that the nature of life w/ two different people being together.

Its "the what will you do " while your relationship is having issues.

That's the million dollar question!!!!! :yep:
 
nvybeauty said:
Wasn't he with her before Diana? Did he leave Diana for her?
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Yes he was with her before Diana and Diana knew it. In her bio it even talks about how Charles spent their honeymoon night talking to Camilla.


I do think they can succeed but it is highly unlikely. It also depends on the notion of "success." Some stay together even though they are miserable.

As someone else mentioned, I would be afraid that the man would turn on a dime and cheat on me because he did it before.
 
lisana said:
amen sister....this things are so complicated....Angie and Brad get ripped to shreds but if they last 50 years, you know who they will be...the "saintly" Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward whose affair began when he was still married with children. I'm just glad this ain't my situation...cause somebody would be getting cut :yep::nono::ohwell::lachen:
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This is an example of Karma. IMO.

Paul and Joanne lost their son to drugs and alcohol at 28yrs...Sometimes "your karma payback" may be something that you hold very dearly and it is taken away the same way you destroyed something very dearly for someone else.

This is very sad and I don't wish it upon anyone. I do believe that when you do harm to families...that's the worst kind of karma that will be given in payback.
 
lisana said:
amen sister....this things are so complicated....Angie and Brad get ripped to shreds but if they last 50 years, you know who they will be...the "saintly" Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward whose affair began when he was still married with children. I'm just glad this ain't my situation...cause somebody would be getting cut :yep::nono::ohwell::lachen:
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...just a spin off of somebody getting cut! :perplexed

What about Woody Allen !! getting with Soon Yi
 
Two of my uncles are still married to their second wives, whom they had affairs with while being married to the first wife. Both families are basically a big mess because of it but its gotten much better over the years.

I think the general consensus is that these relationships are normally not very successful. I would imagine that not only would the kids and the ex-wife hate you, but his family might also hate you as well and its hard for a marriage to survive with all of that drama.
 
SugarBaby said:
In my opinion, Karma and having bad things happen to good people are two different things. I can have someone harm me and my intention and actions have always been good. Bad things can happen to good people unfortunately, Karma is not apart of that.

Karma happens when you knowingly and intentionally do harm and your actions will reap upon you in another form.

If the first wife had someone harm her, Karma WILL happen to her spouse/and misstress.
Click to expand...


In my thought pattern, Karma is simply a teacher. It's not about punishment. It's about you learning the side that is foreign to you. "Good" things happen to "bad" people and "bad" things happen to "good" people. And that can simply be defined as: Life.

One might like to think that divine justice will be meted out, but that's not how it works in my experience/observation. Furthermore, I don't like to attribute a bad experience (the loss of a child for instance) to a karmic lesson, payback, or anything else. It's a bit too much like playing God.

p1
 
I'm not. My uncle married the woman he had an affair with and their marriage lasted a heck of a lot longer than when he was married to my aunt. They've been together now for several decades. Even after all that time my cousins still can't stand her, not because of being a "home wrecker" but she's just not a nice person.
 
patient1 said:
In my thought pattern, Karma is simply a teacher. It's not about punishment. It's about you learning the side that is foreign to you. "Good" things happen to "bad" people and "bad" things happen to "good" people. And that can simply be defined as: Life.

One might like to think that divine justice will be meted out, but that's not how it works in my experience/observation. Furthermore, I don't like to attribute a bad experience (the loss of a child for instance) to a karmic lesson, payback, or anything else. It's a bit too much like playing God.

p1
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Isn't this What the bible teaches us...You will reap what you sow. Plain and simple. It may not be within our vision to see what actually happens...but that is the teaching. (Sorry to bring the bible into it, but that is my justification for my thought)

We as thinking people that look at cause and effect for our actions may not like to look at our actions that have unfortunate results as a result, but I think this is necessary for every Christian. That's why we have to keep a life that is morally pleasing. (Not trying to be a bible thumper, but this is my validation and my rationale for keeping myself from "creating" harm for my life)

Just my belief.
 
SugarBaby said:
This is an example of Karma. IMO.

Paul and Joanne lost their son to drugs and alcohol at 28yrs...Sometimes "your karma payback" may be something that you hold very dearly and it is taken away the same way you destroyed something very dearly for someone else.

This is very sad and I don't wish it upon anyone. I do believe that when you do harm to families...that's the worst kind of karma that will be given in payback.
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I was just going to post this ! The kids have suffered because of their actions. I went to school with one of their daughters. After her brother died, she told me her older sister was a major dealer. You put your family at risk for generational curses.

I had a friend who claims to be very religious. But she married a man she was cheating with during the last 2 years of his marriage. She has had nothing but heartache and is filing for divorce for the third time in as many years. Still she goes to church and they even had church counseling, forgetting how they started this mess.

Why do people have to be greedy and not just end one relationship before starting another ?
 
stinastina said:
I was just going to post this ! The kids have suffered because of their actions. I went to school with one of their daughters. After her brother died, she told me her older sister was a major dealer. You put your family at risk for generational curses.

I had a friend who claims to be very religious. But she married a man she was cheating with during the last 2 years of his marriage. She has had nothing but heartache and is filing for divorce for the third time in as many years. Still she goes to church and they even had church counseling, forgetting how they started this mess.

Why do people have to be greedy and not just end one relationship before starting another ?
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I agree Stinastina. People don't like the mirror of self confrontation. Self confrontation makes you examine your actions and if you are honest you can see the devastion that an affair has caused if not in adulterer's life or worst the children lives.

The Lord tells us if we do all the things he commands us, He will bless us and our children and our children's children etc. . Likewise if we do the opposite, we will pay for our sin and our children will also pay. (paraphrasing)

Sometimes we are not given the opportunity to see the wrath that comes in the adulterer's life. The wrath may come in the next generation, or as you said it may stay as a generational curse.

So when I hear people say the affair lasted for years and they married, happy happy etc...It is not possible. This is contrary to God's word and He can not lie. He will not bless such a union and he promises in his word to show his disapproval.
Think about it...Infidelity is the only reason, God has given for reason for divorce. No other reason..not abuse, drugs, mental illness, sickness, etc...If God did not hate infidelity so much, Why would this be the ONLY reason for divorce? So don't you think he will punish those involved in a breakup of a convenant that he has given as the only reason he will allow for its dissolution.
 
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My friend's father left her mother for another woman. My friend was actually happy because she was tired of seeing her parents argue all of the time. The arguements were going on before the affair (they were married for 11 years). Basically, her mother thought she was too good for her father and that he should be lucky to have a woman like her. It seems that her mother felt that she could treat her father any kind of way because he is not an attractive man so she thought that he could not get another woman anyway. Well... he showed her. My friend said that she was happy that her father found a woman to appreciate him because, if he didnt he would have continued to be in the marriage with her mother and be miserable. My friend loves her mother but she could not stand to see her father be disrespected repeatedly. I hate to say this but this is a situation where the affair did more help than harm.
 
SugarBaby said:
I agree Stinastina. People don't like the mirror of self confrontation. Self confrontation makes you examine your actions and if you are honest you can see the devastion that an affair has caused if not in adulterer's life or worst the children lives.

The Lord tells us if we do all the things he commands us, He will bless us and our children and our children's children etc. . Likewise if we do the opposite, we will pay for our sin and our children will also pay. (paraphrasing)

Sometimes we are not given the opportunity to see the wrath that comes in the adulterer's life. The wrath may come in the next generation, or as you said it may stay as a generational curse.

So when I hear people say the affair lasted for years and they married, happy happy etc...It is not possible. This is contrary to God's word and He can not lie. He will not bless such a union and he promises in his word to show his disapproval.

Think about it...Infidelity is the only reason, God has given for reason for divorce. No other reason..not abuse, drugs, mental illness, sickness, etc...If God did not hate infidelity so much, Why would this be the ONLY reason for divorce? So don't you think he will punish those involved in a breakup of a convenant that he has given as the only reason he will allow for its dissolution.
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I don’t mean to be confrontational but I just have to respond. I see the message that you are trying to convey, but I refuse to believe that God would punish an entire generation because of the sins of one man or woman....or a man and a woman. If you ask for forgiveness then you will be forgiven. If God can forgive and bless murders, thieves, rapists..... I feel that he can and will make it possible for a marriage derived from another marriage work if those two people go to him for that help. God can make ANYTHING possible.

I think that we all interpret the words of the bible differently. I can get a completely different understanding of a scripture than you will and nothing is wrong with that. There is no justification to say who is right and who is wrong so that is why I am not going to say that what you are saying is wrong. Nevertheless, I do disagree.
 
MiSs_RoChELLe said:
I don’t mean to be confrontational but I just have to respond. I see the message that you are trying to convey, but I refuse to believe that God would punish an entire generation because of the sins of one man or woman....or a man and a woman. If you ask for forgiveness then you will be forgiven. If God can forgive and bless murders, thieves, rapists..... I feel that he can and will make it possible for a marriage derived from another marriage work if those two people go to him for that help. God can make ANYTHING possible.

I think that we all interpret the words of the bible differently. I can get a completely different understanding of a scripture than you will and nothing is wrong with that. There is no justification to say who is right and who is wrong so that is why I am not going to say that what you are saying is wrong. Nevertheless, I do disagree.
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I did not say what God is going to do...I don't know. I can only tell you what the word says. God can not lie. He tells us in his word that he will punish the adulterer. The word tells us that. He also says that he will forgive, BUT THE WORD DOES NOT SAY HE WILL TAKE AWAY THE PUNISHMENT. There is no misinterpretation of the that, Its just plain.

The word tells us that God can either Bless for generations or he can curse for generations. That is also plain. There is no misinterpretation of that.

When we see families today and if we have the knowledge of the people involved we can see the repeat of sinful behavior that has been passed down.

I don't believe there is any misinterpretation in the word about infidelity. Its just our poor excuse to accept...God will punish it.
 
SugarBaby said:
I did not say what God is going to do...I don't know. I can only tell you what the word says. God can not lie. He tells us in his word that he will punish the adulterer. The word tells us that. He also says that he will forgive, BUT THE WORD DOES NOT SAY HE WILL TAKE AWAY THE PUNISHMENT. There is no misinterpretation of the that, Its just plain.

The word tells us that God can either Bless for generations or he can curse for generations. That is also plain. There is no misinterpretation of that.

When we see families today and if we have the knowledge of the people involved we can see the repeat of sinful behavior that has been passed down.

I don't believe there is any misinterpretation in the word about infidelity. Its just our poor excuse to accept...God will punish it.
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I never said that there is a misinterpretation of anything. I stated that two people can interpret things differently. What you may think is all so plain might not be the same for the next person. I never stated that you said that God was going to do anything either. I just wanted to tell you that I disagreed with what you were saying... your message in general. I just wanted to let you know that, before you started talking about 'what's in the bible', the next person might not read into it as much or the way that you do. No matter how 'plain' you think it is.

For example a certian source states that....

Adultery was forbidden in the seventh commandment of the Ten Commandments, but this did not apply to a married man having relations with an unmarried woman. Only a married woman engaging in sexual intercourse with another man was considered to be adultery, in which case both the woman and the man were considered guilty.

You might have gotten a different understanding from your reading than the person who published the statement above.

Not going to continue to hijack the thread.
 
patient1 said:
In my thought pattern, Karma is simply a teacher. It's not about punishment. It's about you learning the side that is foreign to you. "Good" things happen to "bad" people and "bad" things happen to "good" people. And that can simply be defined as: Life.

One might like to think that divine justice will be meted out, but that's not how it works in my experience/observation. Furthermore, I don't like to attribute a bad experience (the loss of a child for instance) to a karmic lesson, payback, or anything else. It's a bit too much like playing God.

p1
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love this reply..:yep:^^^^^^^^^^
 
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MiSs_RoChELLe said:
I never said that there is a misinterpretation of anything. I stated that two people can interpret things differently. What you may think is all so plain might not be the same for the next person. I never stated that you said that God was going to do anything either. I just wanted to tell you that I disagreed with what you were saying... your message in general. I just wanted to let you know that, before you started talking about 'what's in the bible', the next person might not read into it as much or the way that you do. No matter how 'plain' you think it is.

For example a certian source states that....

Adultery was forbidden in the seventh commandment of the Ten Commandments, but this did not apply to a married man having relations with an unmarried woman. Only a married woman engaging in sexual intercourse with another man was considered to be adultery, in which case both the woman and the man were considered guilty.

You might have gotten a different understanding from your reading than the person who published the statement above.

Not going to continue to hijack the thread.
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No worries. I think it is only good dialogue to state opinions. Its all good.

I only was stating what Jesus said in his word to us on the subject. For me that is final. I did not go to an interpretation of some other text.

At no time, Did Jesus excuse adultery. He did punish those in the bible, and he still forgave and loved those. David paid dearly for his part and was so loved by Jesus.

People have choices to make and can use the bible as their guide for life choices. I don't find the commandments confusing or hard to read. Children are given these in sunday school and can understand the commands. In the ten commandments...Jesus says Don't do this. Jesus says don't do that.

How could anyone say, "I see it differently" or "I interpret the command differently." It says DON'T, with 10 things we should not do.

The only time Jesus' word gets confusing is when it is in conflict with our lust in our eye or our pride in life.

(ETA: I am just a simple person trying to live right by the principles given by the bible. I am not preaching or trying to agree/disagree. I am only stating Jesus commandments. Thats what I mean when I say plain and simple. :yep: )
 
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SugarBaby said:
This is an example of Karma. IMO.

Paul and Joanne lost their son to drugs and alcohol at 28yrs...Sometimes "your karma payback" may be something that you hold very dearly and it is taken away the same way you destroyed something very dearly for someone else.

This is very sad and I don't wish it upon anyone. I do believe that when you do harm to families...that's the worst kind of karma that will be given in payback.
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nope, sorry, that ain't karma cause you don't know the situation and if that is karma, then GOD help us all because. If you think bad things happen to folks only cause they deserve it and they are getting their karma...then I just don't know to say. Also, let's not forget that the son was Paul's and his first wife, so if he died due to karma for Paul's transgression...why did the mother have to suffer..sorry, this make no sense.
 
lisana said:
nope, sorry, that ain't karma cause you don't know the situation and if that is karma, then GOD help us all because. If you think bad things happen to folks only cause they deserve it and they are getting their karma...then I just don't know to say. Also, let's not forget that the son was Paul's and his first wife, so if he died due to karma for Paul's transgression...why did the mother have to suffer..sorry, this make no sense.
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No I did not say that karma happens to folks ONLY "cause they deserve it." Those were not my words.

What I did say is that there is a price that will be paid for infidelity, and perhaps (I don't know) the lost of his son was related. No one will ever know.

Unfortunately people that go against God's commandments will be punished for their behavior. Even though they are forvgiven and loved by God. Sometimes innocent people are hurt through association. It happens all the time.

I don't know if the death was or was not related, the point that I did make is that when you destroy someone's marriage, the punishment may be the something you clearly value and love.
 
SugarBaby said:
No I did not say that karma happens to folks ONLY "cause they deserve it." Those were not my words.

What I did say is that there is a price that will be paid for infidelity, and perhaps (I don't know) the lost of his son was related. No one will ever know.

Unfortunately people that go against God's commandments will be punished for their behavior. Even though they are forvgiven and loved by God. Sometimes innocent people are hurt through association. It happens all the time.

I don't know if the death was or was not related, the point that I did make is that when you destroy someone's marriage, the punishment may be the something you clearly value and love.
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nope, I don't believe God works this way...this is just something folks like you say when you don't know what else to say, but it's ok. I'm sure your main point was to say that these types of infidelities can cause great pain that can keep going thru the years...that's more than enough without bringing in karma and children dying, etc. etc.
 
lisana said:
nope, I don't believe God works this way...this is just something folks like you say when you don't know what else to say, but it's ok. I'm sure your main point was to say that these types of infidelities can cause great pain that can keep going thru the years...that's more than enough without bringing in karma and children dying, etc. etc.
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I suggest you read the story of King David and learn happened to him when he was involved in infidelity. :yep:

Then you may learn that God did work this way in David's life.
 
SugarBaby said:
Isn't this What the bible teaches us...You will reap what you sow. Plain and simple. It may not be within our vision to see what actually happens...but that is the teaching. (Sorry to bring the bible into it, but that is my justification for my thought)

We as thinking people that look at cause and effect for our actions may not like to look at our actions that have unfortunate results as a result, but I think this is necessary for every Christian. That's why we have to keep a life that is morally pleasing. (Not trying to be a bible thumper, but this is my validation and my rationale for keeping myself from "creating" harm for my life)

Just my belief.
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Yes, the Bible is open to interpretation thus the fact that there is not one Christian church but many denominations therein.

I stand on my original point and I hope you stand on yours as well. Mine was that folks would like to think that divine justice will be there's in the case of an affair, but that is not always the choice. I believe it is a source of comfort for us to believe that if our husband hurts us in such a deep way, "God is gonna GET HIM!!!" And we have something specific in mind. The new woman will be a "lowdown whore" and she'll hurt him just as he has hurt me, etc., etc.

Humans will almost always know hurt because that is the nature of life. They will also know pleasure. We can interpret the circumstances of their lives as we like. I hope your strategy for keeping "harm" at bay works.

Thank you for the original discussion ladies. :) I'm not going to debate religion so I'll leave this particular topic alone.

p1
 
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I often wonder why the death of the child is attributed to adultery and not murder.

p1

eta: Or rape for that matter. Bathsheba did not sleep with David by choice. He was the king, he summoned her, and had his way with her. It was not her decision to cause her husband's death. There are lots of "sins" that were committed. Yet adultery is always honed in on....when it doesn't quite fit. :perplexed And THEN, King David goes on to live a life of glory.
 
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SugarBaby said:
I suggest you read the story of King David and learn happened to him when he was involved in infidelity. :yep:

Then you may learn that God did work this way in David's life.
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and I suggest you read about the millions of folk who die horrible deaths and suffer great tragedy everyday and then tell me it's due to karma :rolleyes: David isn't you or me and for every David their is someone who cheated and has a great life...it is possible, despite what some want to believe, for those who have cheated and married to become better than they used to be and be forgiven by God and blessed in their lives and their new marriages. If it serves some to not want to believe this because of whatever reason, then so be it, but it's true.
 
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