Successful relationships that started as an affair??

BobbieDoll

BobbieDoll

New Member
Do they really exist? Recently my cousin got married and her brother made a big deal about their step-mother being a part of the wedding. He feels she should not be included because she is the woman that ultimately ruined their family when his father decided to leave his mother for her. Well that has happened 15 years ago and they are still going strong. Is it really possible for relationships that start as affairs to turn out to be successful? This is coming up for me again because one of my friends is in a "relationship" (that's what she calls it :rolleyes:) with a married man and he keeps telling her that they will eventually be together. Are any of you ladies in a relationship that started as an affair? I know that is a very personal question and I apologize in advance if I offended anyone.
 
First of all, I love your hair!

Back to topic, I know of a couple like this as well. it's been almost 30 years and they are still together. But who knows what goes on inside their marriage. for all we know he could be having an affair and she might know about it but decide to stay anyway.:ohwell:
 
Several women in my family took and married someone else's husband. And even though they have been married for 20+ years but they are very unhappy.
 
Lilakoi’s_Sister said:
i don't know of any but i can't wait to read your responses. :grin:
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I don't know of any either. But I can only imagine the outcome of a relationship that was based off of a lie. I'm sure there are people that are still married when the relationship started as an affair. But is it successful?
 
locabouthair said:
First of all, I love your hair!

Back to topic, I know of a couple like this as well. it's been almost 30 years and they are still together. But who knows what goes on inside their marriage. for all we know he could be having an affair and she might know about it but decide to stay anyway.:ohwell:
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Thanks!

Yeah I can't really say if they are truly happy or not because all I have to go on is what I see when I'm around them. They do seem happy and all lovey dovey all of the time. Could very well be a big ole front though.
 
[/QUOTE] His father ruined the family not that woman.[/QUOTE]

Yeah if they let the father be in the wedding his reasoning doesn't make sense, his father's wife didn't ruin the family on her own, his father was a willing participant in the affair, so he needs to carry some of the blame too.
 
I would not categorize a marriage like that as successful if that relationship tore apart another family. Marriage is about joining families together, not destroying them

I know someone whose father lived to be like 90 something. He left his first wife for the second wife some 40 years prior to his death. His daughters from his first marriage still harbored a level of resentment towards him even after his death because they would not let go how he treated their mother. The second wife was also a "friend" of the family in that they all knew each other before he left his wife for her.

The second wife lived with the man until she passed away so it is not like they divorced or anything.

I would not call that success.
 
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Well my mom's ex husband and his wife have been married for about 11 years. But ol' girl can't step in front the house, she can't come over for family gatherings or anything. On the other hand my dad and his wife are both welcomed at her house and when I have parties and milestones all of my family can be there. That is what I consider a successful marriage, one where the blending of families is seamless. My poor brother will never be able to experience that and as a mother that lady should feel bad because she aided in a tear in the relationship my brother has with his father.
 
I have a close family member who had an affair while married. She divorced her husband and married the "other" man. They seem to have a good marriage now.:rolleyes:
 
TCatt86 said:
I guess it is possible, just highly unlikely.
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I agree somewhat but then I think what's the difference between a relationship that stated as an affair and any other relationship. I've never been in a relationship like that so I can't imagine what can happen in one like this that wouldn't happen in a relationship that happened any other way. Maybe trust issues or or the possibility of the excitment of the affair has faded. I'm not saying those kinds of affairs are the greatest but after all is said and done it's like any other relationship right?
 
The biggest thing I could see would be trust. You know the lies he tells his wife, so if you hear a similar story you automatically think he's doing the same thing. You know that he has a predisposition to cheating, so that would make it harder to trust him. I have a friend who is dating a guy now, but when they first started he was dating someone else. And they are happy, in the beginning she didn't trust him but now she does. It really depends on the parties involved.
 
I have a friend who was the other woman (live in relationship not married) and wedding reception. She went through a lot to be with theis guy and when he did break up with his live-in girlfriend he did not immediately start dating my friend then either. He still had her as the side woman, sneaking in and out of his place. But they are together now and it seems to have worked out.

My SIL was the other woman throughout 2 marriages. BIL was a huge cheater. They had kids while he was married to wife 1 and wife 2. He married SIL about 10years ago (kids are about 17 & 21). She is miserable though and ALWAYS brings up how he "did her wrong" when he was married?? If you met her tonight, by 8 p.m. you'd know about how wrong BIL treated her back then. She forgets that she actively chased a married man and then threatened to take their child to his wife's job to let her know about the affair if he did not confess. He did confess but then he too married another woman and not SIL. But she is his wife now and I guess it's worked out albeit not a happy marriage.
 
I know of one marriage that began as an affair and is an ongoing love story: My maternal grandfather and my step-grandmother.

He married my maternal grandmother because it was the "right" thing to do(shotgun wedding) but he was never in love with her. They were married long enough to have four children. At some point, a beautiful young woman moved into their New York apt. building.

They fell in love at some point and while the story for my grandmother ends a bit sadly (she's on higher ground now though:yep:) I must say that for grandpa and Grandma Joan (wife #2) their love is enduring. It can not be denied. There is still resentment towards them from the three children from the first marriage. It matters not to me and when the two of them are together, you can see that it matters not to them. He could've stuck it out with the required wife and given me yet another picture of pure misery dragging out. Instead, I have at least one image of love that has lasted for 50 years.

My maternal grandmother loved him until the day she died though. I wish she had been able to make another choice but then too her story has taught me many a valuable lesson.

p1
 
^^^It's my understanding that the relationship was emotional before it became sexual. However, I don't believe that a penis in a vagina should be used as the marker of the beginning (or end) of an affair.

p1
 
Brad and Angelina?

Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas?

Michael Michelle and Melba Moore's Ex?

Julia Roberts and Danny Moder?

Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fischer?

That's all I can think of for now.
 
4everblessed said:
Brad and Angelina? I wouldn't call them successful, they've only been together 2.5 years.

Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas? I didn't know that.:nono:

Michael Michelle and Melba Moore's Ex? I don't think Michael is with him anymore

Julia Roberts and Danny Moder? I didn't know that

Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fischer? they divorced:lachen: I think he was number 2 or 3

That's all I can think of for now.
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.................
 
patient1 said:
^^^It's my understanding that the relationship was emotional before it became sexual. However, I don't believe that a penis in a vagina should be used as the marker of the beginning (or end) of an affair.

p1
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I agree with the penis statement
 
My grandmother and her current husband. They've been married for 12 or 13 years now. This is her 3rd marriage but she got it right this time. She left her last husband bc he treated her bad. They were still married and living together (even though they slept in separate rooms) when she started dating her current husband. Then she moved out on her own. Once the divorce was finalized she moved in with him and they eventually got married. I was a kid then and didn't realize what was happening but looking back now I see it. I remember my mom taking her to her "friend's" house before. And when we went to visit my granny a year or so later when she moved in with him it was the same apt. I never forgot that.
 
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I think what goes around, comes around. And regardless of whether the relationship lasts 100 years or not, they both know one thing for sure about each other: they are liars and cheaters.
 
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