Submission? What is it really?

[BobbieDoll]

I think I have an idea but what does it really mean to submit to your husband? Does it mean you just sit back and let him run the show and not have any so say what so ever? I'm asking because my fiance' asked me if I thought I have a problem with submitting and I said no but he clearly disagrees. Maybe I'm just not truly understanding what it is. So how do you define submission?

 

[C@ssandr@]

This is a good question. I'm gonna take a crack at it. I see it as letting your man be the leader. It doesn't necessarily mean you are not equals. At times he will be the "follower" anyway. But whenever he has an idea, and you try to suggest what you think is the better one, you just let him do it. Most of the time we nag when the task really isn't that serious. So unless he's about to burn the house down, let him follow through on his way of doing things.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

We can all give you our specific ideas, but the most important thing for you to do is find out what it means to HIM. Different guys often have their own ideas about what it means.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

I think I have an idea but what does it really mean to submit to your husband? Does it mean you just sit back and let him run the show and not have any so say what so ever? I'm asking because my fiance' asked me if I thought I have a problem with submitting and I said no but he clearly disagrees. Maybe I'm just not truly understanding what it is. So how do you define submission?

I'm married and I'm having to learn this too.

Submitting is for both parties, not just the woman to the man. It doesn't mean being a doormat, it means trusting that your partner has your best interest in mind and being able to submit(because the husband should have the last word on a matter) to what he says.

If you don't trust one another 100000% then submission will be hard. Trust comes before submission and trust is a choice.

Example:
you: husband, i think I want to buy a new car
husband: no, we need to save for X
you: but my car is old and i want something new
husband: no, we need to save for X
you submitting: ok. maybe at some other time we can get me a new car
you not submitting: whatever, i work, its my money and I'm getting a new car.


Let him be a man and know that God has your best interest, so if your husband screws up, God can still hook you up right, but if you are out of line, then you may have to fix the mess yourself.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

We can all give you our specific ideas, but the most important thing for you to do is find out what it means to HIM. Different guys often have their own ideas about what it means.

I agree to an extent. I would say, make sure your beliefs about submission are in line. He may feel a certain way, but may have also been misinformed about what submission is himself. I would say that you both find out what true submission is together, so that you are both on the same page. pre-marrital counseling is a good place to start. . . .i wish my DH and I had done it. . .we were being grown though. lol

 

[Mai Tai]

1. Submission is a 2 way street.
2. Submission only works when you have a healthy functional relationship built on trust, honesty, and communication.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I agree to an extent. I would say, make sure your beliefs about submission are in line. He may feel a certain way, but may have also been misinformed about what submission is himself. I would say that you both find out what true submission is together, so that you are both on the same page. pre-marrital counseling is a good place to start. . . .i wish my DH and I had done it. . .we were being grown though. lol

She needs to know what he wants from her, and then she can decide if she's willing. His idea of submission could be simple like checking in before large purchases. It could be a little more demanding like never being out alone after dark. It could mean never driving, always covering your entire body, and never speaking to unrelated men. (I know that's extreme. I'm trying to make the point.)

She has to know what he means by submitting. She has the freedom to choose whether she wants to agree to whatever he wants/expects.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

She needs to know what he wants from her, and then she can decide if she's willing. His idea of submission could be simple like checking in before large purchases. It could be a little more demanding like never being out alone after dark. It could mean never driving, always covering your entire body, and never speaking to unrelated men. (I know that's extreme. I'm trying to make the point.)

She has to know what he means by submitting. She has the freedom to choose whether she wants to agree to whatever he wants/expects.

That's true.