Struggling with your natural hair? Come in here.....

MaraWithLove said:
I am so hair depressed I could cry. Seriously considering just cutting it all off (again) & psing under weave. I feel like in the span of 1 year I've retained hardly anything; my hair is nice and detangled for a moment, only to tangle hours later. I examine my ends often, to discover no bad appearances, and sometimes I still trim. If I wash in braids it's smooth sailing for the most part, but I don't want to LIVE in braids. Nor do I want to have to wear my hair stretched all the time. I'm definitely an out-style kind of girl. If it was long enough to bun, that'd be awesome. But it's not and on top of all of this my hair is VERY dense, coarse and low porosity. Talk about bad combination! I'm at a loss and all I've been doing (styling wise) is wearing scarves the past 2 weeks. :nono: In the morning, perhaps I will feel better and come up with something, but right now...:(
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I was actually crying this past weekend. On Monday I did my hair added some accessories and liked it better. I got it braided last night in order to put I away to grow it back longer (while giving me break to make non rash choices) to give me more styling options. Right now I am WnG'ing then after 3 days a high puff. I can't wait to be able to bun. It is OK to lean toward a style that your able to do now. Take pictures we think our hair isn't progressing but pictures tell the story well. If your taking care of your hair under a weave and it compliments you emotionally, do it! For now doesn't mean forever.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using LHCF
 
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MaraWithLove said:
I am so hair depressed I could cry. Seriously considering just cutting it all off (again) & psing under weave. I feel like in the span of 1 year I've retained hardly anything; my hair is nice and detangled for a moment, only to tangle hours later. I examine my ends often, to discover no bad appearances, and sometimes I still trim. If I wash in braids it's smooth sailing for the most part, but I don't want to LIVE in braids. Nor do I want to have to wear my hair stretched all the time. I'm definitely an out-style kind of girl. If it was long enough to bun, that'd be awesome. But it's not and on top of all of this my hair is VERY dense, coarse and low porosity. Talk about bad combination! I'm at a loss and all I've been doing (styling wise) is wearing scarves the past 2 weeks. :nono: In the morning, perhaps I will feel better and come up with something, but right now...:(
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HanaKuroi said:
@MaraWithLove don't cut your hair. Nooooo. Wait until you are more calm. What is your regimen?
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MaraWithLove I agree w/ HanaKuroi. When you're feeling this way the last thing you should do is cut your hair. Particularly, since your frustration stems from styling options and understanding what works w/ your hair rather than dealing w/ damaged hair.

Styling Options: I suggest watching youtube tutorial vids of ladies who have a similar curl pattern to your hair . My experience has been that when I see styling vdo of ladies whose curl pattern does not resemble mine, I get even more frustrated that my hair can't do that. When you have time try out some of the styles. You don't have to be ambitious but try to do something different atleast once a week.

Understanding Your Hair: We've all gone through this. If you already determined that you have dense, coarse and low porosity hair, hunt info that remedies the problems you have like retaining length and reducing tangles. I know LHCF has a low porosity thread, maybe you should check it out to see if the suggestions made can help you.
 
For all of the input already, thank you all! :bighug:

HanaKuroi Hehe, not just yet. :) My regimen stays pretty consistent wash wise, but can vary style wise:
  • Shampoo (usually only 1x a month, sometimes less) with a shampoo bar by CV or kiss my face mistreated shampoo
  • DC 1-2x a week with a moisturizing DC (Currently Shea Moisture Raw Shea treatment and L'Oreal EverSleek)
  • Co-wash as needed, at least 1x weekly-Currently V05 free me freesia
  • Moisturize and seal every day to every other day (with the weather change this will be upped probably)
  • I use leave-ins as my moisturizer, and sometimes apply SM curl and style milk over that; I seal with JBCO
  • Massage scalp with Hair Trigger, lightly with JBCO at least 1x a week
  • Occasional tea and coffee rinses (I've been losing track with these the last month I admit)
  • My last protein treatment was a month ago (Claudie's) and I don't do protein often because my hair would feel like straw if I did.
  • I don't use heat, but if I feel I really need to stretch my hair, I'll use the blow dryer on cool. One thing I notice is that I can never get the very ends as stretched as the rest of my hair.
  • I finger detangle and use the prayer method for shed hair, don't use combs; perhaps I should try one?
  • I also used to henna every month, but I haven't in a few; I need to buy some.
  • I dye my hair black

    Oh and I very rarely use gel
Style-wise I've recently done mini braids (and hidden them >.<), I do WNGs, braid-outs. Pretty much it. In the summer, I'd spritz and put it in a puff.
BraunSugar *hugs* so sweet thanks! :)

Just11412 Are you doing the mini-braids with your hair alone or extensions? I put my own hair in mini braids and I think it's a lasting style; I just wish my length wasn't at that awkward stage. :look:

JJamiah I'm sorry to hear you were crying *hugs*, I'm glad you're feeling better now and I've been thinking of making some bows and headbands I just need to find the time. You're certainly right, for now doesn't mean forever. I definitely want a healthy head of hair even if it takes time, hiding it under other hair, etc. I am sure I will figure something out with the help you lovelies give!

Cruzankink Thank you, and you are right. Definitely have to have some understanding of our hair and I feel that experience is one that continues on and on; especially when trying different products and different methods over time. I will do more searching on youtube. I do get some ideas from people on there, but most of the time their hair is quite a bit longer than my own. Surely, I will happen across something though.
 
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MaraWithLove I do not like Shea Moisture products at all. I used to but not anymore. The milk and the smoothie don't seem moisturizing after they are absorbed.

Black hair dye. This seems to be the one thing that contributes the most to hair problems.

I am thinking you need a good deep conditioning treatment at least twice a week.

Things will get better. I have that l'oreal stuff and I haven't used it yet.

I like oyin hair dew sealed with jbco.
 
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HanaKuroi You know, this is my first time trying out more of their products. I once tried the curl smoothie and my hair didn't like it. My hair seemed to like these new products when I applied them, then I noticed later my hair wasn't moisturized. This lead me to think it was because of the cool weather and that I might need something more to seal with than just castor oil. Also, the DC made my hair soft and such but later on I realized it didn't deliver to my expectations. I'm glad to hear your experience, because it shows some correlation with what I've experienced. I guess no more SM for me. It really sucks though, because I still have yet to find staple leave-ins and such; makes everything seem like a total waste of money.

But, oh yes the L'oreal works wonderfully in my hair. I just have to make sure not to get it close to my scalp! Also, the conditioner that comes in hair dye kits feels better on my hair than SM, def more moisturizing...hmmmm.

I'm weening myself off of hair dye and will only be sporting my natural hair color or whatever color henna gives me once I use that again.
I will continue to DC 2x or more a week, thanks!

Perhaps I will try Oyin^^
 
MaraWithLove I love QB ctdg. I love the QB burdock root creme and the alma olive oil heavy cream.

A couple of times a week I QB ctdg and the other days I oyin with jbco. I use the QB amla olive oil on my ends.

I like the Aubrey organics conditioners for dc. I also use silk dreams vsd.
 
Yesterday i took down my twists and finger detangled which was awesome because i dont think i had any breakage at all but just normal shedding yey. i cowashed then dcd with aogpb no heat and under shower cap for about 30mins then threaded my hair after dusting my hair. i tied my hair up for work this morning then installed medium twists - i just finished. my hair feels a bit crunchy especially at the roots and the crown area. so i guess i reached protein overload. so maybe i need two wks moisturising dc then protein every other week. i will try that and see how it goes.

i just realised that other than my edges my crown aread suffered the most from breakage. the hair there is shorter. then i have some strands that are an inch shorter than the already short hair. for a minute i was tempted to cut my hair and start all over again!! im seriously considering.

another point of frustration for me right now is: i am extremely style challenged the only thing i can do are twists and they take forever to do. i have now established that any sort of hair style that involves extensions is a complete no no for me as i get too much breakage. i live in a small town i only know one person who is careful with my hair and our schedules are just crazy i cant rely on her doing my hair. my hair is at that awkward stage that a ponytail is pitiful and its not long enuf to bun. if i cut it on this account i will get to this stage eventually so i might as well stick it through once and for all.

any advice or encouragement would be well apprecciated. i am so frustrated!
 
MaraWithLove You said you use leave-ins as your moisturizers? Maybe you need a moisturizer and a leave-in. What are you using as a styler? Maybe the Shea Moisture products aren't working out to moisturize your hair. Don't they have mild proteins in them? (I'm not sure. Maybe someone can chime in on that)
 
Not happy.
It is confirmed that my hair does NOT like baggying.
I dry baggied for 2 days off and on and now my hair is puffy, crispy and dry.
 
BraunSugar Good point, I used to use both a leave-in and a moisturizer when I first started my journey. However, since I started co-washing often I thought that had upped my moisture and that therefore I should cut down on moisturizer so as to prevent quick build-up. I guess I should try doing that again. Another thing is that although I'm CG I wonder if it's something that doesn't work for me, because back when I used Dominican leave-ins and such, and didn't worry about whether or not something was all-natural or free of sulfates and cones, my hair felt better-relaxed and natural. Maybe this, too, is something to take into consideration. Pfft, the SM products have been taken back to CVS where they belong. :look: I must not have recognized the proteins in the SM; it seems hard to me to find something that doesn't have a hint of protein in it.

Bublin When I baggy it definitely doesn't workout for me style-wise, and also at times my scalp will feel itchy/irritated afterwards. Dryness is not something I've experienced though. What's your usual routine with baggying?
 
Bublin said:
Not happy.
It is confirmed that my hair does NOT like baggying.
I dry baggied for 2 days off and on and now my hair is puffy, crispy and dry.
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Do you seal after you baggy?

My hair isn't crazy about it. But if I seal after I baggy then its not too bad.
 
saw some serious breakage at the front, does anyone with natural hair have an even length through out?

what would be the best thing to do to get the broken parts to grow and reach the rest
 
after reading a few posts i feel better about my hair. you ladies are so encouraging. i do realise i got in this mess prioritising style over the health of my hair. i am gaining an understanding of my hair and when i do my twists even though they dont look the best i get to feel my hair and notice things about it that i wouldnt have had somebody else done my hair. doing my own hair frustrating as it is makes me more observant eg i noticed the breakage in my crown as i was parting my hair for twisting.

my frustration had stemmed i guess.from someone blatantly pointing out that my twists werent nice :cry: i understood where they were coming from but oh well. i do think i did them better this week. the more i do it the better i get at stylingy own hair. i wont get it right always but hey im learning so.....

i feel better right now. i think so long as i focus on the bigger picture i will be fine.

so thank yoooouuuuuu :hugs:
 
frobellete said:
after reading a few posts i feel better about my hair. you ladies are so encouraging. i do realise i got in this mess prioritising style over the health of my hair. i am gaining an understanding of my hair and when i do my twists even though they dont look the best i get to feel my hair and notice things about it that i wouldnt have had somebody else done my hair. doing my own hair frustrating as it is makes me more observant eg i noticed the breakage in my crown as i was parting my hair for twisting.

my frustration had stemmed i guess.from someone blatantly pointing out that my twists werent nice :cry: i understood where they were coming from but oh well. i do think i did them better this week. the more i do it the better i get at stylingy own hair. i wont get it right always but hey im learning so.....

i feel better right now. i think so long as i focus on the bigger picture i will be fine. so thank yoooouuuuuu :hugs:
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:bighug:@frobellete I hope this post greets you in a better place. Often times people's criticism lacks tact but we are here for ya. I believe your focus is in the right place - getting to know your hair. As you noted, this is only the beginning... It's only a matter of time b/4 your styling improves. It's hard to dispel negative criticism but know that this too shall pass.

____________________

On a lighter note, today is my 1 year post relaxer anniversary!!!!
:band::dance7::band2::bouncy:
Wow!!! I never thought I'll get here. :yahoo: I want to thank all who helped facilitate my journey.

I wanted to dust my ends and do a length check to share w/ you but I just did not have the energy this weekend. However, next washday I'll share my hair length and goals for the coming year. Stay tuned...
 
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ROOTSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Omgosh. They puff up so bad. I'm in dire need of a solution. And doesn't help I have 3 textures to deal with. :sad:
 
It's been 8 days since my crochet braids install...and I'm already missing my hair! Unfortunately, I have no time to take them down and reinstall. I could TRY Thursday afterwork and do an overnight henna...Then reinstall Friday since I dont work Friday. Ugh! I hate spending 2 days on hair. I got so much other stuff to do!
 
I'm struggling with wash n go's. I think my hair has just enough length (w/shrinkage) to have a decent wash n go. My problem is my results are either hair with a white cast or hard and crunchy hair or a combination of both as it dries and once it's completely dry. It looks okay when it's still soaking wet/freshly done but after that it's no bueno.


I've tried different methods/application techniques but get the same results. I've tried less/more products ..gel/no gel etc.

Any suggestions??
 
I dusted my ends tonight. I took off 1/4" to 1/2". I can still twist it, so thats good. Hopefully this will help my retention.
 
HanaKuroi said:
What are your products and application methods?
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HanaKuroi I've tried a little bit of everything. Conditioner only , conditioner w/a little gel, leave in then oil then gel leave in styler etc. Techniques shingling w tool, finger combing, smoothing, diffusing etc. A little product a lot if product something in btwn.

I'm going for a somewhat defined look but really just my natural curls. The main problem area when it's done is the top. To me there's just little to no curl pattern about an inch or two from the root and it's frizzy which I don't understand because the rest of the way down it curls.

I want to use some kind of product because when I just let it air dry with little to nothing it shrinks all the way to neck length when it can be around shoulder length w/product
 
[USER=259402 said:
greenandchic[/USER];17057917]@faithVA
How often do you plan on dusting?
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I'm not sure yet. When I had my analysis she said I shouldn't have to dust/trim very often, maybe 3x a year. But before my analysis I had to dust every 8 to 12 weeks.

I will know in December whether I will need to continue that schedule or if I can go longer.
 
faithVA said:
I'm not sure yet. When I had my analysis she said I shouldn't have to dust/trim very often, maybe 3x a year. But before my analysis I had to dust every 8 to 12 weeks.

I will know in December whether I will need to continue that schedule or if I can go longer.
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I'm still trying to figure out my dusting schedule. I may get a formal trim to even my ends sometime in late spring/early summer, but continue with the 1/8" dusting every few months until then. Its just hard to know what's right...
 
[USER=259402 said:
greenandchic[/USER];17058165]I'm still trying to figure out my dusting schedule. I may get a formal trim to even my ends sometime in late spring/early summer, but continue with the 1/8" dusting every few months until then. Its just hard to know what's right...
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I can tell when my ends need trimming. They feel rougher than usual, they tangle more and they start to have this see through look. After I notice them thinning I have a few weeks before I need to cut them.

I'm just hoping that now that my hair is longer and I'm moisturizing better than I can slow down the damage to my ends. But until I can wear twists again it's pretty iffy.
 
HanaKuroi said:
laurend085 hi! I mean brands. Sorry!
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HanaKuroi

I've tried different things. Conditioners: Aussie moist , tresemme, herbal essence ,trader Joe ..leave ins; Shea moisture, oyin hair dew , curl junkie ..stylers: ic gel , Eco gels, aloe gel, flax gel , komaza styling pudding, and oils. That's just what I can think of at the top of my head.

This is what I mean by my hair. This is wet straight out the shower no product.



image-3225819612.jpg

(part not a bald spot)


image-2567429708.jpg



image-3980156546.jpg



image-1234013978.jpg



image-1100403547.jpg



image-3132909265.jpg



image-1210424679.jpg



image-2655765601.jpg


The pictures aren't that great but generally at the top there's not really a curl and the bottom is curly which I would think would be the opposite since it's older. And the hair coming out of my scalp is "new" hair so I don't see how it's not curly there but is toward the bottom
 
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Last night I misted my hair with CD oil sheen, misted it with water and then moisturized with Deva Care One diluted with water. Today my hair is soft and moisturized :yay: And I have 0 definition :lol:

Would love to have definition but for right now I will take the soft moisturized hair. It means less breakage and I won't have to wash as often. When I have great definition my hair is crunchy. Maybe one day I will get both. But as my hair gets longer I would rather have soft moisturized hair that I can put up. Because eventually my hair will be in twists and buns.
 
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