I looked through this thread. I have no product recommendations.
I saw the picture of your hair. It looks like the damaged part of your hair is from your ears down. The hair from the root to your ears looks very healthy and pretty, to me. I would need to see a picture of your hair when it is dry to get a complete picture about the state of your hair.
You mentioned that your hair is heat damaged and that you have been transitioning for about 18 months. That is good that you recognized what was the issue and are working toward having healthy hair. Good for you and your lovely hair!
The point I wanted to mention is that the ends of the hair often determine the appearance and feel of all the hair. It looks like about 1/2 of your hair still has some heat damage. The look and feel, of your entire head of hair, are going to be dominated by those damaged, unhealthy, ends.
I am in no way telling you to cut your hair. I encourage people to cut damaged hair ONLY when they
feel ready to do so. Otherwise, that can be overwhelming and actually spin you off the path of a healthy hair journey to never return. I struggle with trims, myself.
@prettyinpurple summed up perfectly what I believe is a big part of your issue:
"Are you ready to cut off the old hair? Dealing with two textures is no fun and they both have different needs IMO. That should stop some of the tangling hair too."
I think she is spot-on.
@trueheartofgold,
Stay encouraged. It does require patience and persistence. In all your posts you are open and receptive to the wisdom, knowledge and experience all these wonderful ladies have offered and suggested. That speaks volumes about you. You have continued to ask clarifying questions, which is persistence. If you have transitioned for 18 months, you definitely have patience! I believe you will successfully resolve this situation with your hair. Keep going!