Staying overnight for the first time

[FemmeFatale]

Hello everyone, I'm new to the board but I've been a longtime lurker and I'm in need of some advice. I am dating this wonderful guy and everything has been going great, we're both on the same page as far as knowing what we want (which is a serious exclusive relationship). Well yesterday he asked me to accompany him on an overnight trip and as much as I would love to (my body is CALLING ), I KNOW exactly where that would lead to and I'm not ready for that yet, and while I enjoy his company, I also think it's a bit too early for any getaways

Anyway so I'm wondering, what would you do in this scenario?

 

[**SaSSy**]

Well be perfectly honest with him and tell him you like him, but we need to wait until I get to know you little bit more. I think you shouldn't go with him on an overnight trip. I never left the state with any guy I'm feeling ify about. Give it some time.

 

[F8THINHIM]

If you know you're not ready for it, I would not go. You don't want to put yourself in a situation that would cause you to regret. Especially when your body is CALLING!!! If it's too early and something happens that you're not ready for, it could change the whole course of the relationship. HTH!

 

[ladylibra_30]

I would go, have fun, and get treated. You can do it just have some self-restraint if you are not ready for sexy time.

 

[FemmeFatale]

I would go, have fun, and get treated. You can do it just have some self-restraint if you are not ready for sexy time.

Now that I don't have much left anymore, it's been 4 dates and several weeks.

 

[taytay86]

Tell him not now, and do it when you're ready. Simple.

 

[NaturalPath]

Now that I don't have much left anymore, it's been 4 dates and several weeks.

Thats a bit too early IMO. You need to really get to know this guy because sometimes you just never know what they are capable of doing (murder, etc). Why is he trying to do an overnight trip so early into the relationship?

But then again I am 23 and I have old school beliefs.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Thanks for the advice ladies.

 

[TayMac]

If you don't wanna do the do, don't go and let him know what's up. If you can handle it and you are ready, do your thing and be safe.

 

[MissJ]

You say you know where it would lead if you went on the trip. He knows where it would lead, too. That's probably why he invited you. It's pretty early on. Also are you two dating or in a relationship?

 

[FemmeFatale]

You say you know where it would lead if you went on the trip. He knows where it would lead, too. That's probably why he invited you. It's pretty early on. Also are you two dating or in a relationship?

We're dating.

 

[Browndilocks]

The liklelyhood of him wanting you more after you turn him down will increase. I say hold out until you are 100% cool with it.

 

[FemmeFatale]

The liklelyhood of him wanting you more after you turn him down will increase. I say hold out until you are 100% cool with it.

I thought about that too, lol..

 

[likewtr4chklit]

Play it safe and stay your butt home girl! Especially if you lack self restraint like me Just be honest and tell him you're not ready to cross that line yet.

 

[MissJ]

We're dating.

I would say wait until you are in a bona fide relationship to even consider going away with him. Also, there's something about this in The Rules if you are interested.

 

[FemmeFatale]

I would say wait until you are in a bona fide relationship to even consider going away with him. Also, there's something about this in The Rules if you are interested.

This is exactly how I feel. Is "The Rules" a particular thread?

 

[MissJ]

It's a book, but there is also a thread on The Rules in this forum.

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Don't go unless you are in a position to secure your own lodging and no sneaky peakies! I think it would be fun to go somewhere with him, just don't go "there" with him yet!

 

[DMJ's Mom]

Tell him how you feel about the situation. I had an ex that I wasn't ready for all that and we went away together. He understood and booked a room with a double bed and was really sweet about giving me my privacy to shower change etc

 

[caligirl]

At least you know what time it is and are not trying to pretend like nothing is going to happen. But I would probably stay in seperate rooms - the same room with double beds is way too tempting.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Well a small update about the situation:

I told him that I would love to go but I'm not ready to make that move just yet and his response was just "Okay". We spoke the next day but that was the last time I heard from him and it's been about a week .

 

[ThickHair]

Well a small update about the situation:

I told him that I would love to go but I'm not ready to make that move just yet and his response was just "Okay". We spoke the next day but that was the last time I heard from him and it's been about a week .

Well, unless he is dead or unconscience, I guess you figured out what he wanted. At least you didn't have too much invested. Yes, it sucks though.

 

[chicitygirl]

Well a small update about the situation:

I told him that I would love to go but I'm not ready to make that move just yet and his response was just "Okay". We spoke the next day but that was the last time I heard from him and it's been about a week .

Men suck. I swear, that's such a typical man move. Unless he's been super busy or something, and contacts you again in the next few days to set up a date, I'd just write him off as a jerk.

 

[ThickHair]

Men suck. I swear, that's such a typical man move. Unless he's been super busy or something, and contacts you again in the next few days to set up a date, I'd just write him off as a jerk.

Super busy is no excuse in my book. The guy I am seeing right now is extra busy, he teaches professionally full time, volunteer's teaching and runs his own business full time. He manages to call me every single day, in addition to text's and emails. Nah son, aint that much busy.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Well, unless he is dead or unconscience, I guess you figured out what he wanted. At least you didn't have too much invested. Yes, it sucks though.

Thank you. My friend (who's been in a long term relationship) said that I should've called because he probably feels rejected.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

Thank you. My friend (who's been in a long term relationship) said that I should've called because he probably feels rejected.

YOU BETTER NOT! He's telling you what he's about..LISTEN

4 dates puhleeze

 

[LadyPaniolo]

YOU BETTER NOT! He's telling you what he's about..LISTEN

4 dates puhleeze

Co-sign to the tenth power! If you call him he will think he's pushed/swayed you into giving up the panties (and the power in the relationship). NO, just don't do it.

 

[FemmeFatale]

YOU BETTER NOT! He's telling you what he's about..LISTEN

4 dates puhleeze

LOL..that is what I'm thinking. No grown man I know (and I've asked a couple) would be mad about that, if anything they all said it would make them want the woman more.

 

[awhyley]

I told him that I would love to go but I'm not ready to make that move just yet and his response was just "Okay". We spoke the next day but that was the last time I heard from him and it's been about a week .

Be glad that you're seeing his true face now, and not a couple of months down the road.
Chalk this one up to experience, and KIM.

Thank you. My friend (who's been in a long term relationship) said that I should've called because he probably feels rejected.

Nope, if he was still interested, he would have called already.
If he doesn't call by the weekend, write this one off, if you haven't already.

 

[Lenee925]

Be THANKFUL you were smart enough to ask your LHCF ladies first after only 4 dates. I can also put money on it that he's probably married or in a relationship with someone else. If a guy fixed his mouth to ask me to stay in a hotel with him on a 5th date he would suddenly find me unreachable with no explanation of any sort.